Chris Kohler of Wired's Game|Life blog - also writer of Power-Up: How Japanese Video Games Gave the World an Extra Life - had a little phone interview with Uwe Boll about his latest disaster, "Postal." Now, Kohler had written a scathing - and likely justified - commentary on the "film." Uwe Boll sent childish emails Kohler's way. Kohler, responding politely, offered an interview so that Balls could tell his side of the story - but was rejected multiple times before finally saying "yes".

So what did You Vay Balls have to say? If you guessed "complete and utter crap," you'd be 150% correct. Don't believe me? Take a look at this:

"I'm not the new Ed Wood. Ed Wood died poor! And had no success. There's only that romantic term that Ed Wood was a genius because of the Johnny Depp movie, not because of Ed Wood. And this is the point, it's completely absurd, and the whole internet bashing is completely absurd and has nothing to do with my movies. And normally, journalists like you should see that and should write that. You can write, I didn't like Bloodrayne, I didn't like Alone In The Dark, I thought they were stupid, and bad acting, whatever, but if you write that the movies look like amateur trash movies, then you are lying on purpose."

Um. What? I mean seriously, come ON. Like I commented on Kohler's blog, he must have purchased a dump-truck full of Delusion from the entire team behind Daikatana.

You can read the entire laugh factory here.

This article I wrote is actually over a year old, but I realize that I never posted it here. Some of the things I say in here might no longer apply considering how some games have advanced over the last 12 months, though I still think it holds up somewhat decently. Anyway, here you go.

As videogame consoles and PC hardware become more and more technically capable, developers constantly seek to exploit the newfound power at their fingertips. High dynamic range lighting techniques. The progression from bump-mapped textures to normal-mapped textures and beyond. Higher and higher polygon counts and crisp, HD resolution. Of course, we can't forget about one mission in particular - a mission embarked upon by many developers since Final Fantasy VII for the PSone hit it big, and arguably way before that:

Create the most cinematic experience possible in a videogame.

Though music is just as ubiquitous, if not moreso, cinema has risen through the ranks of global media as one of the more powerful and influential forces in arts and entertainment. At first just analyzed for story and characters, we've now come to appreciate several facets of film: cinematography, light and photography, direction, sound work, social commentary, philosophical commentary, and special effects.

It can be argued that the most obvious mark of the cinematic experience is the audiovisual presentation, though deep thinkers prefer the deep commentary within. You say "Michael Bay" and immediately one might think of those sweeping wide-angle shots. You say "Ridley Scott" and the epic visual grandeur of Gladiator springs to mind - the recreation of the Coliseum, the heart-pounding gladiatorial battles and the booming trumpets of the soundtrack. Saving Private Ryan's visceral, gritty experience is instinctively recalled when uttering "Steven Spielberg".

The cinematic experience is one of sitting in a comfortable, cushioned chair in plain view of the visual art that you're about to appreciate. It is one of somewhat bombastic extremes: a humongous display and powerful satellite surround-sound speakers with which to feed your eyes and ears booming explosions, bone-crunching kung fu and white hot beautiful personalities and their sultry, enchanting voices.

Flash back to the videogame - an entity whose origins came in 1947 with a primitive missile simulation, but which only hit its stride when Ralph Baer conceptualized the first console with the Magnavox Oddysey in 1968. The videogame industry continues to mature. At really only half the age of motion pictures and a figurative fetus when compared to the ancient entity that is music, however, videogames continue to try and find their definitive stride. Not satisfied to be known for interactive experiences impossible elsewhere, the videogame industry - and thus, publishers and developers - reach out and aim to borrow that "cinematic experience" from film.

It makes sense. Cinema is full of icons - icons that we, as entertainment mongers, strive to emulate in fantasy. Open your leg holster and take out that semi-automatic pistol - because you are Robocop. Challenge an empire or a power that could have you decimated with the snap of a finger, and successfully exact your revenge - because you are Maximus Decimus Meridius, husband to a murdered wife, father to a murdered son. Take these experiences and guide them through the power of your fingertips, your thumbs, resting on that controller. You can be what you see in the theatre.

It makes sense. Cinema - or at least, the stuff that box office hits are made of - is filled with explosions, body counts, stunts, effects, and hotties. Pick up Call of Duty 2 for your PC or Xbox 360. Listen to the bullets as they spiral past your head, and watch the ground shake as that nearby Stielhandgranate detonates. You'd think that Activision consulted Steven Spielberg on how to make the perfect war movie - and then gave the control to you. How about the inane amount of bodies you pile up as Kratos in God of War for the Playstation 2, or the gory decaptitations and dismemberments that you so gleefully execute? Gladiator. Troy. Braveheart. And there's always the one with the large breasts who has to sneak in there somehow - download Ritual's SiN Episodes: Emergence via Valve's Steam network, and in the opening scene greet that unnecessarily large pair hanging over your face with a smile.

But hold on - there might be a small issue. The cinematic experience is also marked with harrowing scenes that accentuate the extreme audiovisual satisfaction that we so desire. We equate these to "scripted events" in videogames - events that are out of our control. Something happens exactly when it's supposed to, in the exact way it's supposed to. Developer Warren Spector, of Deus Ex fame, quipped that Half Life was an incredible shooter... on rails.

More from the mouth of Spector, courtesy of Eurogamer.net:

"A year after we shipped Deus Ex, I saw someone solve a particular game problem in a way I'd never seen anyone try before, and I was sitting there with him wondering if his solution would work. I mean, I helped make the game, and I'd played through that part of the game a hundred times and watched probably a thousand playthroughs and I was seeing something I'd never seen before. No game-on-rails or rollercoaster ride can possibly touch that for a thrill!"

Bound to the cinematic experience, then, are we restricted to solving games and playing through them in the precise way that someone else wants us to? Do we have to trigger the time bomb to knock over the bridge - complete with cinematic audiovisual flair, bells and whistles - to get the barricade of soldiers out of our way in order to cross the bridge? At the same time, if we're given our own methods - our own means - of solving a situation, will the result be cinematic? Will it contain the bombastic, delicious dead bodies that we so desire?

Do we opt for the cinematic experience of a wide-angle view of controlled chaos? Do we want to watch from afar as we simply tell our on-screen dude to fire when ready, trigger that switch that we're told to by some floating voice, and watch the fireworks occur? Or do we give up those beautiful vistas for the choose-your-own-path interactivity that games might be better off being known for?

The cinematic experience is almost purely aesthetic, and therein lies the problem. Though not in every way - people love the visual splendor and aural crispness of that latest videogame - the desire to present scenes and exposition to us may very well get in the way of the control we as players have (or should have) over our protagonists. Games like The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion and Deus Ex: Invisible War - gorgeous games, to be sure - are much lower in the cinematic scale than, say, Call of Duty 2. In terms of the events that are force-fed to you to showcase the aesthetic fireworks, more specifically. Yet we have that control. Do I want to save Martin Septim and help save Cyrodi'il? Nah - I think I'll go fishing for this guy, because he's going to pay me. But then, you're not fulfilling the story arc - you're not going through the big, magical and epic events - you're doing what you want.

Shouldn't we do what we want in videogames?

On the flipside, shouldn't we be satisfied with a linear story arc that tells a beautiful tale?

As developers strive to increase the cinematic value of a game, the risk exists that just maybe they'll lose sight of the control that we strive to have over our interactive entertainment. It's not our world; we just play in it. We'll get more scripted games, more epic stories, and less ability to choose our own paths. The jury's out on whether or not this is truly something to be apprehensive about. But for now, one thing is clear: thank goodness that both types of games exist.

Gang, tomorrow's going to be a short-handed podcast - and probably one that's short-lived, too. It's nearing the end of summer, it's hot and humid (or dry depending on where you live) and we're going to take it a bit easy. Tomorrow, for episode 58, Ethan and Al will be on vacation so Tony and I will blast through some news snippets VERY quickly and jump right into announcing the winners. I'll even record video of me picking the winner of the random drawing for the $50 gift certificate while the podcast is recording. (God bless digital cameras!)

For episode 59, Ethan will also be out. However, in the same fashion as Slunks (ep. 43, 44), ShenlongBo (ep. 46) and Alex Navarro (ep. 47), we may have a surprise guest with us (depending on how the logistics work out). I'll give you a hint: he's one of the two masterminds behind the Community Contributions Union that got me so involved with the Gamespot community in the first place, he *ahem* games honestly *puns rule*, and good luck trying to figure out the meaning behind his Gamespot username (which - and here's a fourth hint - has an underscore in it). If it doesn't happen in episode 59, it'll happen soon after.

So anyway, the purpose of this post: send in questions and comments. Since we'll be taking it easy this episode, I figure Tony and I will have quite a bit of time left over for mailbag questions. Oh, and even though we'll probably forego our Bag of Deuce, feel free to send in your own reader Bags of Censor Bypass. Remember: deadline is noon EST on Sunday, and the address is mailbag [at] trigames [dot] net.

One more thing: if you're hooked into iTunes, please, PLEASE review us. We don't just want five star reviews - we also want ones that tell us where you think we can improve. It'll help us make the podcast better, or at the very least understand how to best to produce content that satisfies our niche. And tell your friends about us, especially because this won't be the only contest we ever throw around.

Join arrr us arrr as arrrr we arrrr read arrrr your arrrr contest arrr entries arrrr aloud! Ok, no more "arrrr" from me. After discussing why Ebert is wrong about his view on games, Resident Evil 5 isn't racist, and Guitar Hero III's newly announced and hot-to-death tracks, we take in Ish's bag o' deuce game and then... read everyone's Pirates Versus Ninjas entry on air! I think we have a few clear winners but we're taking these few days to sleep on it. Look forward to the actual prizes being handed out on Episode 58. In the meantime, enjoy everyone's humorous and valiant attempts at convincing us which pirate or ninja would win control over the whole world. And, Tony finally answers: why all the Sony and PSP hate? Juicy juicy.

Warning: The Legend of Zelda final battle spoilers, in two spots in the podcast. You will hear beeps marking the beginning of each spoiler segment and they last 30 seconds.

Please note: My sound file got terribly warped during the mailbag section, and skips like a scratched CD somehow. So we're using the lower-quality backup file for the mailbag because I'm otherwise unintelligible. Apologies for the quality snafu.

Ninjabreakpiratedown!

0:00:55 - What Are You Buying Next (and What Are You Playing)?
0:08:15 - Begin first Zelda final battle spoiler
0:08:45 - End first Zelda final battle spoiler
0:10:00 - Newsies!
*N'Gai Croal smashes Ebert's prejudiced "games are not art" snobbery to pieces
*Different Xbox 360 SKUs Get Uneven Price Drops
*George Harrison "retires" from Nintendo... rumorily
*Halo3 = 4P Co-Op
*Grand Theft Auto IV Delayed To 2008
*Pachter Blames PS3 For GTA IV Delay
*Crysis Coming In November
*Company sues Sony, demands destruction of all PS3s
*Activision Announces Eleven New Guitar Hero III Tracks
*Resident Evil 5 is - uh - racist, apparently
0:23:30 - Begin second Zelda final battle spoiler
0:24:00 - End second Zelda final battle spoiler
0:41:36 - Bag o' Shattity ****
0:46:54 - Pirates Versus Ninjas - your entries!
1:14:05 - Mailbag

Download here.
Runtime: 1:48:08
File size: 51.9 MB

Pirates versus Ninjas winners will be announced in episode 58! Listen to this episode to hear the entrants.

Please - digg us, review us on iTunes, and don't forget - hit the mailbag with your Questions and Reader Bags of ****!

I made good on my goal and actually took down the last dungeons in the game. I will say that after the remarkable later half of the non-endgame dungeons, these last ones feel a little mailed in. Nevertheless, it's challenging A Link to the Past as the Zelda game I enjoyed the most - and remember, I didn't ever think that Ocarina of Time was the best game of all time - let alone the best game in the series so that's not part of this discussion (save your flames - I understand why it's considered as such; I feel otherwise, sue me)

Pre-review thoughts: not going to knock Metroid Prime or Final Fantasy VI off their "my most favorite evArzz" throne, but a magnificent experience nonetheless - sublime, to put it lightly. So far, the best "current gen" game I've played (quotes emphasized since this really was supposed to be a frickin' Gamecube title). It's such that I could probably go right in with the Gamecube version (yes, I bought that too) and play it how it's supposed to be played (no waggle)... that is, if I didn't have such a huge backlog already.

The pacing is nearly perfect; the dungeons are mammoth and clever, as are the boss battles (are we surprised, though?). It's not radically different from Ocarina in terms of general design, but the neat new items and superior dungeon designs make it stand out enough ("...they're all the same game! waah!" Sure, whatever...) and the story moves along briskly though you still wouldn't confuse it for some ginormous Square Enix tale. Speaking of story, the narrative is indeed intriguing such that I did stay interested in it to actually want to play to find out what happens - something that I never usually cared about in Zelda games before.

Aesthetically, it's one of the best looking titles ... for a Gamecube game. But like God of War II and Okami, it still holds up remarkably well among the Gears of Wars and the Heavenly Swords of this generation. It's not just "good enough" - it's beautiful; whether faked or real, what appear to be high-dynamic range lighting techniques really breathe life into every environment - every surface - in the game. The character animation is smooth and realistic; if you're a fan of the exaggerated Wind Waker sty1e however, you might find it boring. At any rate I think Wii is capable of more, though - but we'll save that for a bit later.

The music is absolutely riveting - for me, anyway. Some don't care for the composition - to each his own; this soundtrack for me rivals some of my favorite Square audio. The new overworld theme honestly (braces for flames) makes me wonder why the hell it took so long to scrap the old theme song as a gameplay mainstay. Seriously, I love the old theme - but enough was enough already, and this new tune moves me in so many ways. Relegate the old theme to cutscenes, intro and ending - keep it prevalent, sure. I just prefer to listen to something like Twilight Princess' Hyrule Field theme from now on.

Yet, there's still more they could expand on with this. Castle Town is more bustling than ever before, as are other populated locales in the game - but what about sprinkling some more places in? I'd love to see how a Zelda game handled the scope - in terms of population and "human" interaction - of what many people associate with the top tier RPGs (both PC and console, western and Japanese). How about some of Hyrule's neighbors, given that they exist? How about some mandatory, gameplay-critical revisiting of some of the folks from early on in the game? And no, I don't mean fetch quests because this game is actually very good about not making you go on stupid scavenger hunts.

What about the aesthetics, then? If any game is deserving of an "HD Remake", it's this one. Let's get the crappy ground textures out of the way, since we all know that the grass texturing in Hyrule Field looks a bit like green vomit. That's got to go. But otherwise, this game is so pristine and so vibrant that you think, "Hey - what the hell? Do you realize how good this would look in 720p or 1080p? Could you imagine how much better the already-impressive soft-shadowing would look? Can you picture how much smoother the detailed architecture and geometry would be, even though it's fantastic already?" It makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes.

And then we've got the music which, as blissful as it is, would just sound so much better as a truly orchestrated soundtrack - for the same reasons as the visuals would look better in HD. It's so good that it deserves such treatment. Yeah, I know they swear by interactive sound. I'm pretty sure that as tech advances, you can find a way to record orchestrated segments just as they code MIDI segments to interchange with each other depending on what's happening in-game. It'll happen, and Nintendo had better be on board with the orchestra if it does. Also, I don't care if Link doesn't speaks - but a little more voice acting would be nice if only to cut down on the awkwardness where Midna speaks and... no one else does. Except the mailman, whose obnoxious "Hey-heeeeeeeeeeey!" really jolts me out of my seat when I'm trying to enjoy the music.

Anyway, that's it. It's late and I'm tired and I have a podcast to record in 7 hours. Next stop... beating RE4 all over again with Wii controls, and remembering how AWESOME that game was (...some might say it's better than Twilight Princess... and by some, I might perhaps mean "me"...)

*poof*

If you've got questions, we've got answers. Wait, that's from some stupid commercial... dammit. Well, it holds true anyway - so send your questions to mailbag [at] trigames (dot) net and have them answered on the air. As Ryvvn pointed out, we record SUNDAY at NOON EST.

We are unsure of Tony's status at the moment, and I'm not sure we've all read through all of the Pirates versus Ninjas entries - but at the very least, we can draw the winner of the $50 prize. So, I need your thoughts. Would you rather us do that, or would you rather us wait for all of us to have read the entries to announce both prizes ($50 and the T-shirt)? Leave your comments and I'll decide on what we should do tomorrow.

As for what happens this weekend? "It" is me finally completing Twilight Princess on Wii. It's been the monkey on my back, and the situation is somewhat worse than Ocarina of Time. If you remember, I took a very long time to beat Ocarina due to numerous reasons: with long involved games like these, especially due to the length of this particular game's dungeons, this is a game that I needed long sit-down sessions to play. No 45-minute bursts for this game - that would not lead to a satisfying experience for me. I was also unimpressed with the pacing of the game, leading to the same result: I never felt I could get much done in short bursts. Finally, because I didn't grow up with this game, I couldn't quite wrap my brain around the framerate. Once in awhile I'd get a headache from playing - a shame, because of how exquisite the game is despite my complaints.

With Twilight Princess, I savored every single moment of what I've played thus far. There are virtually no complaints with the game design itself, with my only nitpick being that I'm pretty sure those ground textures could have been sharper with Wii's technology. And that's only because I'm searching for something to nitpick. In short, by all rights this is a game that I should have powered through already without a moment's hesitation. But, I decided to leave the last dungeon - which I'm estimating to be a 2 to 3 hour experience - for a nice slot of empty time where I can go through it in a single sitting without stopping in the middle. So far since, that 2 to 3 hour slot of time has not surfaced. This weekend, I'm determined to complete the damned thing. I'll simply have to stay up later to get my GMAT studying in. Curse you videogames, for you will be the downfall of my professional life! (Or... if I have my way... maybe my true calling?)

Since I've ranted long enough, you've ultimately forgotten the main purpose of this post. So, I'm just goint to REPEAT it right here:

*copy-paste*

If you've got questions, we've got answers. Wait, that's from some stupid commercial... dammit. Well, it holds true anyway - so send your questions to mailbag [at] trigames (dot) net and have them answered on the air. As Ryvvn pointed out, we record SUNDAY at NOON EST.

We are unsure of Tony's status at the moment, and I'm not sure we've all read through all of the Pirates versus Ninjas entries - but at the very least, we can draw the winner of the $50 prize. So, I need your thoughts. Would you rather us do that, or would you rather us wait for all of us to have read the entries to announce both prizes ($50 and the T-shirt)? Leave your comments and I'll decide on what we should do tomorrow.

*end copy-paste*

Blame it on the Raaaiiiiin!

The rain starts to pour fiercely in New York with touches of thunder piercing the sound of heavy water droplets, most certainly - ominously - signaling THE DEATH OF GAMES AS WE KNOW IT thanks to the Wii! Oh noes! Hardcore Games teh fail! Casual games pwn, confirmed! ... Right. We talk at length about these supposed fears, as well as important things such as more about how the Xbox 360 towel trick may work, the NPD numbers, emulation in the jungle, games that require you to poke butts with perverted fingers of fury, and MANY MUCH MORES.

Tony takes a break this episode due to family matters - let's all wish him the best as we listen to Ethan's massive and thunderous noises from the deuce bowl beyond the galaxy.

Brokendown Back Mountain

0:01:53 - What We're Playing
0:08:38 - News
* NPD Sales Mania - Hardware and Software
* The Rockstar Life - Jeff Williams blogs about former life at Rockstar
* Rumor: Xbox 360 Price Drop by $50? OMGconfirmedpwn?
0:33:19 - Bag of ****
0:40:13 - Main Topic (courtesy of Aidan B.): Will Wii Casualize All of Gaming?
1:00:44 - Mailbag

Download here.
Runtime: 1:28:53
File size: 42.7 MB

Please note: Our Pirates versus Ninjas contest is now closed. If you have not entered by now, you can't win a T-shirt - nor can you win the FIFTY DOLLAR game retailer gift certificate. Please click on the above link to see the final contestant list, and be sure to let us know if you've entered but do not see your name there!

Please - digg us, review us on iTunes, and don't forget - hit the mailbag with your Questions and Listener Bags of ****!

"E3: Eww, Eh, Excellent" is a running feature detailing my impressions on the big things, the little things, and everything in between from E3 2007. It should be noted that these impressions are written from my viewpoint as an industry outsider and a simple enthusiast - one who cannot be at E3 in person. Also, at this point, E3 is so two weeks ago, but there's still something to get off of my chest. Thus, this will be the last full Eww, Eh, Excellent before I close out with a blurb of the smaller things. This will be posted everywhere I have a (sad, little, unnoticed) presence - trigames.net (always first), Gamespot.com, 1up.com and MySpace.com, and cannot be re-posted elsewhere without my permission.

E3 Awards: Eh

Every videogame publisher loves awards and distinction. Editors' Choice. Random Website's Game of the Year. Platinum Seller. As readers, we appreciate the information and dinstinction that these awards provide. Didn't play Gears of War or Twilight Princess yet? Not too keen on reading their full reviews or even looking for reviews in the first place? Surely, Gamespot and 1up's 2006 Games of the Year (respectively) are surefire hits for the discerning consumer.

There's one set of formal awards, though, whose merit comes into question depending on who you ask. These are awards for conventions and trade shows - awards that are given out to games that aren't even complete yet. Most famously, and recently, we've got our E3 Game of the Show and Best of E3 awards.

At E3 (and other similar conventions), a multitude of games are shown and in multiple stages of completion. Sometimes the game is merely teased - take 2005's Killzone 2 trailer for the Playstation 3 platform, for instance. Last year, Halo 3 had a similar teaser.

Many of the awards given out are explicitly described with what they are actually awarding - the above teasers would have qualified for "Best Trailer" at many websites. That's all well and good. A trailer is a trailer - no one (I hope) will mistake that for a full game that you can buy off of retail shelves and actually consume.

The E3 Games of the Show awards, however, start to bring us into misleading territory. Imagine, for a minute, that you're a journalist at E3. You've just played the latest build of some game that seems to be shaping up remarkably well. The game isn't slated to ship for quite a few months, and the only play time you've been given is the few minutes on the show floor or at the interview session with the publishers. But for what you've played, and for what stage of development it's in, the game is enjoyable through and through.

Your readers demand to know what your opinions on E3 were. They demand awards be doled out, because - hey - everyone likes to see a fancy website or magazine layout with trophy graphics and lists upon lists of game names. You're assigned to the awards committee, and you're tasked with voting on your game of the show. You throw a vote in for the aforementioned game, and it ends up winning E3 Game of the Show. This is great - your readers now get to understand which games were shaping up very well and what to look forward to. There's certainly nothing wrong with giving information and laying down your opinions, after all.

The problem starts to creep in when information starts to be used in misleading ways. Take a look at the box art for Sigma Star Saga, a hybrid shmup-RPG for the Gameboy Advance. On the right-hand side, there's a huge "BEST OF E3 2005!" stencil. As it turns out, the game didn't end up being an incredible experience. It's certainly a decent game, a game that innovates and takes risks by combining two worlds-apart genres. However, it's received a "good but flawed" critical reception.

Assuming that we're taking critical reception as a proper benchmark for quality, does "good but flawed" sound like a game that screams, "OMG THIS WAS GAME OF THE SHOW U GOTTA BUY NOW"? Of course not. But such tempting top-billing on the box might convince you otherwise if you haven't had the chance to catch up on the in-depth reviews. You grab it off the shelf and open it up only to be hit by the sobering fact that it's not as hot as you thought it was. Like that guy or girl you spotted in that bar's dim lighting, the morning sun doesn't shine too kindly upon the game and you're now questioning why you jumped at it so eagerly.

Whose fault is it? No one's, really. The show is meant to showcase up-and-coming games - not necessarily those that are already complete. The journalists are here to inform us in the simplest, most efficient way possible about just which games are coming along nicely. The publishers? They're here to sell, and I'll be damned if they should "refuse" the awards they've been given. In fact, in Sigma Star Saga's case, Namco probably needed all the help it could get in promoting the WayForward-developed game; as a low-profile, no-name IP effort, it was likely that your average passerby wouldn't pay any mind to the game without some kind of box-art hype.

I certainly can't - and won't - cast any blame on anyone for the entity that is the E3 Award and how it affects consumers. That's why I'm not decidedly "ew" on the awards. It's just simply unfortunate that the end result of logical use of this type of information ends up being misleading.

How do we fix this? Do websites and magazines stop drawing up pretty emblems and graphics for these awards, so that publishers no longer have an easy way to slap a new sticker on the box? Do we shift to a sty1e that Electronic Gaming Monthly has tried out, where E3 coverage is contained in a very deliberately titled "Opinionated Guide to E3" sporting a disclaimer that no, these are in no way awards or "Worst Of" demerits? Do we get rid of the awards altogether and reduce the coverage to editor roundtables, where opinions are given but labels are withheld?

Perhaps the better questions are, can we fix this at all - and do we even need to fix this? Maybe it's futile, and consumers simply need to buckle up and rely on more than the front of the box or any pre-completion awards. Perhaps we'll all develop a Pavlovian response to box cover pull quotes and award stickers and, after getting burned at the cash register a few times, learn to not judge our books by their covers.

UPDATE. This has nothing to do with the podcast. Just wanted to pre-emptively say that there was a huge power outage in San Fran (check out sfgate.com) that rendered a bunch of Gamespot servers useless, as it did to a bunch of 1up.com servers and wired.com. So before you whine about "Glitchspot", know about what happened first. Hey, just sayin'. :)

Al turned 47 on Friday, so let's all give him a big hug, a big cake, and plentiful ladies of virtue true - it's his birthday! We celebrate it by talking about steak knives, mashed potatoes, Denis Dyack whining about Epic's alleged sabotage, what we see in the near future of games, Al's old bones, some listener bag of deuce, Al's old bones, why Ethan and Austin don't like Transformers, Al's old bones, and Al's old bones. Al's old! Happy Birthday, you turd. By the way, the Pirates versus Ninjas contest is... *drumroll* CLOSED! We will be reading the entries and voting on the T-shirt winner soon, and when we've decided on that, we'll dedicate the next nearest episode to announcing that winner as well as doing the random drawing for the $50 gift card. Oh yeah, and Tony's computer is in the computer hospital - so he's taking a breather this episode.

Birthday Breakdown

0:01:12 - What We're Playing
0:06:52 - News
*Peter Moore says Sony is doing "Worse" in Japan than his own Microsoft is (BUH?!)
*Anal-yst Michael Pachter thinks Nintendo "won" E3
*Bully Wii60
*Beth Llellewwellellyn says Project HAMMER on "indefinite hold" but Disaster: Day of Crisis still in development:
*Microsoft continues to lose money in videogames. Just how much?
*"Why does Japan hate the Xbox 360?"
*Peter Moore Goes from Microsoft to Electronic Arts
*Teen Killed By Brother Over Video Game
*David Perry: Gamers Will Abandon the Wii
*Silicon Knights and Denis "Game Previews are useless and should die" Dyack say that Epic sabotaged them:
*Ex Take Two Execs Plead Guilty
0:34:57 - Bag of ****: Listener Edition
0:41:05 - Ish's Question: What do you expect from gaming in the next 10 years? Do we need to innovate?
1:03:16 - Mailbag

Download here.
Runtime: 1:20:17
File size: 38.5 MB

Please note: Our Pirates versus Ninjas contest is now closed. If you have not entered by now, you can't win a T-shirt - nor can you win the FIFTY DOLLAR game retailer gift certificate. Please click on the above link to see the final contestant list, and be sure to let us know if you've entered but do not see your name there!

Please - digg us, review us on iTunes, and don't forget - hit the mailbag with your Questions and Listener Bags of ****!