This is Jwill again! Everytime I try to get serious about blogging again I can never stay consistent. I felt like typing something up today; it usually keeps me focused. The past 2 or 3 months have been so strange but still very fun. It all started on a Sunday night at the end of September when my girlfriend broke up with me. Apparently we weren't on the same page anymore and to be honest with myself I think we both began to notice it for the past couple of weeks prior to the break up. But she was brave enough to pull the trigger. I don't want to observe our situation. I don't want to say that we didn't have anything in common, but I think our out look on life was completely different.

We don't talk at all anymore. Even when we physically see each other. The time I was with her I enjoyed her company and I do wish to a extent that I could go back to the begin. In fact the day before we broke up I just wanted to tell her that I wanted it to be like it was before. But sometimes things just happen.

I never been the one to date in particular or jump into a relationship so easily. I have friends who suggested that I do date to see what I like. But I just hate the game all together. Another thing I hate is having friends who are depressed about their break ups. One man I know is so depressed and eager to find a woman that every conversations he has with me is about some chick he met at a bar downtown. I would be lying to say that I haven't been on a couple of dates but I realize that I'm not looking to rebound anytime soon.

Guess what's funny? When you're in a relationship there are other people who admire you from afar that come out of the woods to tell you their real opinion on your previous relationship. I've heard the good, bad, and the ugly. I had one girl who insulted me and then asked me out on a date. Rude!

The single life does have one general perk; being able to focus on yourself. I spend my weekdays working and coming home to an empty apartment as usual. It gets lonely. BUT! I've always been a big fan of music so I listen to a lot of it(and loud). It always gets me in the mood to try things I never done before like cooking new recipes. It's so relaxing to just be alone, listening to some chill hip-hop, and cook something that taste great(or horrible).

But on the weekend it's entirely different. Friday and Saturday nights I like to go out downtown and chill with friends. I'm not a smoker but I love going to the Smoking Lamp on occassions to relax with a hookah. If I want to get my laugh on I head to the Palmeto Comedy Club for stand-up or Theater 99 for improv. Now every suburb around Charleston has a movie theater. But in Mt. Pleasant there's a movie theater where you can drink alcohol, eat dinner, and watch a film all at the sametime. Hockey season has started so I get to go watch our local minor league team play!

The one thing I enjoy most of all is traveling and music. Within the two months I went to Atlanta, the Baltimore area, and Washington D.C. I've visited old friends and made new ones. I've seen The Roots, Circa Survive, and Isles and Glaciers play as well. Dave Matthews is coming to Charleston this week which I would be going to. But I was nice enough to give my sister and a friend my tickets. I went to a kick ass Washington Capitals game, and I saw the Atlanta Thrashers play as well! But the best of all is qualifying for Battle of the Year in Atlanta in the popping category. This will definitely be the biggest stage that most of my friends and I have ever danced on!

Keeping yourself busy helps you cope with break ups. In the beginning there were days where I did nothing, and it was very easy to think about her. But now I'm just having too much fun. :D

OK! So I have an Xbox 360 and NHL 11. But I'm ready to buy something new to play. I really need your help because I've been out of it for a few months. Help a brotha out! :D

How's it going everyone? Anyway, I decided I'd try to blog a bit more and be active. Like I said before, a lot of new changes happened to me over the past few months. All of them have been very good. I got a new job about 3 months ago which has allowed me to finally do somethings that needed to be done. I got a nice one bedroom apartment which is definitely good for me, plus at a discounted price! It even has a nice fireplace for those romantic nights during the winter. What I really love is all the closet space. Even though I'm a guy, I have tons of clothes, and shoes! The best thing is the tube, and I growl seductively everytime I see it(well, almost).

As far as gaming goes I just been playing NHL 11 since it's the only Xbox 360 game I have. But I will be getting an Rock Band 2 and 3 very soon. I know I'm becoming a casual gamer, but it'll help me get closer to the people I love. I might have to pick up Super Street Fighter 4, Halo: Reach, and some extra controllers.

I've been working my usual 40 hours days that consist of me doing nothing but getting paid. Why wouldn't they let me stay home, sleep in, and get paid? What sucks is that my girlfriend and I operate on different schedules so it seems like the weekends are the only days that I get to see her. But I'll go by her work and say hello every so often. I'll admit it, I'm in love. But since she isn't like you're typical girl, I feel like I have to play it off(even though she knows) which sucks. :P

To simply put it I have work at 6:30am and I'm awake. Actually I just woke up from having the most vivid dream that I dare not speak of. Still, since I slept all Labor Day I have a feeling I'll be ready for work which I enjoy. I really want to start blogging once again because I remember it being a great outlet for spilling my guts to the world(or at least to all my fellow nerds).

Oh yeah. So I'm moving into a new apartment this Friday. I'm excited and can't wait to fill up the place. Kmart surprisingly had this crazy Labor Day sale on sh!t for the home in store. You got the in-store sale if you shopped online as well. BUT! Because you shopped online you received another discount. I bought a nice 5-piece dining set online(store pick-up) which was on sale for $199. Since I did the shopping on their website it came down to $187!

Also I bought a new Xbox 360!!!!! But only because the Kinetic is coming out soon and today NHL 11 will be available! I hope everyone in the U.S. had a good Labor Day Weekend. I know I did! Between spending time with my girl, hanging with my homie and his family; the beach, wild nights, and sleeping in I certainly can't complain.

That's right. I sold everything over the past 3 months accept for a busted PSP. I still have a feeling that I will be returning to console gaming much sooner then I thought considering a few factors. So what have I been doing? Mainly just living life which has been more then enough excitement. I've been dating the same woman I took to the movies last year around September of 09. It wasn't until around last April we really decided to be exclusive. A lot of that has to do with social taboos if you get what I'm saying.

I spent much of my time hanging with the guys as well! Also there's a lot more free time for painting whether it be digital or not. Oh yeah! I replaced gaming with going to the gym and I am liking the change. Ok, so maybe I haven't fully stopped playing videogames. I still have a killer PC I built in March(or was it Febuary). Right now I just play the Sims 3 and Crysis. The selection on the PC isn't as unique but it keeps me from spending lots of money on videogames.

I've been freelancing as a graphic designer which has been so so. To be honest with a degree and a good portfolio I'm still disappointed at the offers I received from companies who want to hire me. I've turned down every single one. On the other hand I just got hired working for a PMC as an ET which has dollar signs written all over it. I wish I stuck with engineering!

Ok. I've made a decision which is ripping me apart as I create this list. I'm selling all my consoleware! Yep, the PS3, Xbox 360, and the Wii. Since I just built my PC, and never really spend time gaming on my console the decision was obvious(still scary). I'll game on my PC from now on until..well, something comes up. :D

Xbox 360 Arcade
20GB Hard Drive
-- Xbox 360 RROD(optional, $20)

Play & Charge Kit
Composite/Component HD Cables
1 Headset

Two Xbox 360 Controllers
-- Two batteries(one live)


-- Xbox 360 Games --

Fallout 3
Skate
Skate 2
NHL 08
NHL 09
NHL 10
Deadrising
Prototype
Resident Evil 5
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
Left 4 Dead 2
Halo 3
Gears of War
Gears of War 2
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Game of the Year Edition

The Orange Box
-- Half Life 2
-- Episode One
-- Episode Two
-- Portal
-- Team Fortress 2

Grand Theft Auto 4
Sega Superstars Tennis
Eternal Sonata(definitely a collector's item, original bought used)
Fable 2
Mass Effect
Lost Odyssey
Fantastic Four, Rise of the Silver Surfer
Ace Combat 6
Assassin's Creed
Bioshock

------------------------------------

Nintendo Wii
1 Controller & Nunchuck
Charge Stand(fits 4 Wii remotes)
Component HD Cables

-- Wii Games --

Silent Hill: Shattered Memories
Muramasa: The Demon Blade
Little King's Story
Super Mario Galaxy
MadWorld
No More Heroes(original bought used)
WarioWare: Smooth Moves(Original bought used)
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption(original bought used, defective disk)

------------------------------------

Plystation 3 80GB(no PSOne/PS2 Backwards Compatiblity)
-- note: no HDMI cables
1 Controller
1 Bluetooth Headset
2 USB cables(to charge headset and controller)
1 Netflix Software CD

-- PS3 Games --

InFamous
Warhawk
Metal Gear Solid 4
--

Killzone 2
Batman: Arkham Asylum
Final Fantasy XIII
LittleBigPlanet
Heavy Rain
Dragon Age: Origins
Demon Souls

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Don't have enough video inputs? I have a HD selector but it only supports component and composite cables.

I've been having a great year so far. I mean, I feel great. I have had some upsets, but it's definitely been worth it in the end. My activity on Gamespot over the pass two months has definitely increased once again. Mainly because Final Fantasy XIII was finally released in North America. I love the game, but I do feel it could be better. I've taken a break from Square Enix's RPG to focus on more important things.

I took a proficiency test for two classes of mine which would give me credit for them without finishing the semester. I passed and it freed up my schedule which gives me more time to work, and earn some money(which has been slim). I have definitely become a better graphic designer and illustrator over the past 7 months(of course you're always looking to improve). I appeared in CMYK Magazine and a local art magazine in Atlanta winning the best upcoming talent award in 2009 back in January.

One thing that has made me a bit happy(actually, a lot) is a special someone. Does anyone remember this blog? That was my first date with her, and I wasn't even expecting it. The idea I had in mind was two people hanging out. But to my surprise she twisted my stomach with butterflies. It wasn't until the day after that I started looking at her differently. Up until now we have been casually dating with this social/racial void seperating us from actually making it official. It hurt. But after going through a rough situation recently regarding the color of my skin, I picked myself up, and asked her some questions regarding ourselves. In the end it resulted with her warm embrace. Now I can say, "she's my girl".

So much is happening this year already. I can't wait to own this town!

I can't believe I've been an active member since 2003, and it's been more then 10 years since I discovered Videogames.com(now Gamespot). Even though Christmas hasn't even past, I already want to say happy New Year to everyone here on Gamespot just in case I forget. Speaking of the holiday season this is the time of the year where the things you try to forget, or don't want to feel kind of creep up on you. I'll considered myself an "emotional" person or a conscience brotha' at the most. But to be in the loving spirit and not be able to give it your all sucks.

I know you're saying, "what are you talking about Josh"? Let's just say admiration is all I can give a person when I want to give them so much more instead. I'm talking about wanting to get closer to someone. But reality says it's just best to ignore that feeling. The worst part about it, I know that's the truth(at least that's what I'm "thinking" at the moment). But I do like to see her smile..

You can't feel bad on Christmas right? Even if it's just a little?

First I must apologize to all my GS buddies, and everyone at the Final Fantasy Experience Union. I had no idea how busy I was going to be this semester and it just killed me! Working two jobs and then college full time is such a &^^% drag! Anyway, life has been much better since the holiday break has kicked in, and exams are over. I still haven't played a lot of videogames besides NHL 10(aren't I predictable). I Netflix a lot and then forget to turn the Xbox 360 off.

Did you know?

1. I have an interview for the Charleston Magazine this week!

2. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, Little King's Story, Maramasa: The Demon Blade, Demon's Souls, Left For Dead 2, and Batman: Arkham Asylum are all unfinished. DOH!

3. This morning I bought Dragon Age and Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. Another doh!

4. Bought myself the Nikon D3000 DSLR camera, YEAH!

5. Carolina Hurricanes are in last place in the NHL! ::crying::

6. Final Fantasy XIII is releasing very soon in Japan! I might just import it!

7. My old employer cheated me out of some money, and so the government made them give me a phat check!

8. Almost every weekend beer and/or dancing has been involved in some way. :D

9. Paul Mooney makes me laugh. "I bet not catch no sh!t where it don't belong. Don't let me go to the movie theater and see a shark sitting next to me. I'm ****** that shark up." :lol:

I've been gone for quite sometime; at least since the Fall semester started. Things have been going ok. I've been extremely busy with class and work. Not to mention earlier this week I was sick(something is going around). Gaming has literally been put on a hold. Most of the time you can catch me watching films, and listening to music then actually taking the time to play something. Even after buying Demon's Soul, Batman: Arkham Asylum, and a few Wii games my gamepads have sat in limbo.

I know DJ Hero just came out as well, but to be honest I would like the soundtrack more then the game. My friend Magalie is in town and I played it over at her cousin's place. It's fun, but I rather dance to the beats then actually playing it. Plus it's missing the creative process to actually being an emcee on the turntables.

Life has been pretty sweet. I've been freelancing more! The weird thing about it is my fine art has been more appealing to my clients and other individuals most recently which never was the case. I've become a bit more anti-social since the Fall started. Is it the weather? So I've been staying home more, but it keeps me focus on what I have to do(unlike Summer). But Wednesday and Thursday I had fun downtown which relieved some of the stress bothering me. :D