Okay, so today I had to perform a speech introducing somebody I had never met that my teacher randomly assigned to me. I got info about him, and stuff.

Now, after today, come to find out, my mom knows his parents and we graduated from the same high school on the same day. I've also met his grandmother in the past.

Freaky as hell

The PETA Files.

Say it out loud.

The PETA Files.

The petafiles.

Since I noticed that about 200 of my 300+ friends like to remain in the blog part of GS (and thus have no ****ing clue what my sig is), I decided to shamelessly advertise--er, share all the funny joke news articles I've written thus far. One of them was mistaken for a real article and a topic was made about it on OT; can you guess which one?

Kanye West Aquires Keyblade, Interrupts Heartless Takeover

Stephenie Meyer Reveals True Identity as J.K. Rowling

Hannah Montana's Genius IQ Revealed

Stephen Hawking Loses 60 IQ Points After Joining Youtube

God Admitted to Asylum After Denying Own Existence

I remember the times we spent together
on those drives
We had a million questions
all about our lives
and when we got to New York
everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
tonight

I remember the days we spent together
were not enough
and it used to feel like dreamin'
except we always woke up
Never thought not having you
here now would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight

I remember the time you told me about when you were eight
And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
and the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
and stayed out way too late
I remember the time you SAT AND told me about your Jesus
and how not to look back even if no one believes us
When it hurt so bad sometimes
not having you here...

I sing,
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight"

I sing,
"Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight"

There. I said it. At only 19 years old she has had several chart-topping singles, is a 3x multi-platinum (I don't know what that means, but it sounds awesome), and Love Story was the most paid downloaded song in history. She makes country music sound almost tolerable, and that alone is worthy of very high praise, and she's maturing in her career quite nicely. She writes her own songs and has even written a 350-page novel (that isn't published, but still). She sounds infinitely better than Miley Cyrus trash.

And she's Stephen Colbert's soul mate.

So shut up about Taylor. :x

And, my God, it was SO BORING.

The Sun Also Rises has officially overtaken Frankenstein at the top of my list of most boring books ever written. Why is the book so boring, you ask?

NOTHING.

HAPPENS.

The book goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on for 251 pages about absolutely nothing. It is the Seinfeld of literature, except Seinfeld. . . . actually, I can't find any difference between this book and Seinfeld; neither were funny, and nothing ever happened. There's no moral. No character development. No conflict.

The book begins with our narrator, Jake Barnes, who is suffering from an unknown injury that appears to keep him from having a relationship, Brett Ashley, a woman who jumps from man to man for reasons I can't quite figure out, Robert Cohn, a Jewish boxer-turned-failed-novelist who's so in love with Brett that he practically stalks her (and gets enough 1920s anti-semitism thrown at him for it to fill a bucket), Mike, who I think is Brett's fiance for most of the book and is literally drunk off his ass in every single scene he's in, and Bill, who doesn't appear to have any significance to the book whatsoever.

The book ends with with our narrator, Jake Barnes, who is suffering from an unknown injury that appears to keep him from having a relationship, Brett Ashley, a woman who jumps from man to man for reasons I can't quite figure out, Robert Cohn, a Jewish boxer-turned-failed-novelist who's so in love with Brett that he practically stalks her (and gets enough 1920s anti-semitism thrown at him for it to fill a bucket), Mike, who I think is Brett's fiance for most of the book and is literally drunk off his ass in every single scene he's in, and Bill, who doesn't appear to have any significance to the book whatsoever.

None of the characters have any personality whatsoever, with the minor exception of Mike, who, as I've said, is always drunk. The guy that says "I'm tight" or "I'm drunk" is usually Mike (or Bill; one of them gets drunk all the time and the other is utterly useless). You can't tell one character apart from another in dialogue because they all talk the same; it doesn't help that the one woman in the book refers to herself as a "chap" at least once.

The one good thing about the book is I think my plot-starved brain read some symbolism into the actions of a few characters that translates into how people should write. That's it.

If I ever express interest in reading this book ever again, please kick me in the knees.

When I went to the bathroom at school today, I looked up from the urinal and saw some graffiti on the wall that simply said "O Rly?". I didn't know what it was saying it to at first, but when I looked at the wall at a certain angle, I saw that somebody had written in what appears to be orange highlighter:

THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPEN

I don't know why he said "open" and not "opened," but hey. The writing was huge and covered the whole wall above three urinals. I actually laughed. I was tempted to draw a picture of Elvis and write "Enemies of the hair, beware," but there were other people in the bathroom. >_____>

Don't taint this ground
With the color of the past
Are the sounds in bloom with you
Cause you seem like
An orchard of mines
Just take one step at a time

And you seem
To break like time
So fragile on the inside
You climb these grapevines
Would you look now
Unto this pit of me on the ground
And you wander through these
To climb these grapevines
Vines

I say it to be proud
Won't have my life turn upside down
Says the man with some
With some gold forged plan
Of life so incomplete
Like weights strapped around my feet
Tread careful one step at a time

And you seem
To break like time
So fragile on the inside
You climb these grapevines
Would you look now
Unto this pit of me on the ground
And you wander through these
To climb these grapevines

To know
To feel
To play me once again
Do you denote from what we feel
Do you not know
I see you play the game
Do you denote

La flama niposa
La ombra dispare
La noce immortale
La voce murmure

To know
To feel
To play me once again
Do you denote
Do you not know
I see you play the game
Denote

Note that references to "you" are not necessarily toward the reader; I'm just pissed beyond imagination.

"I'm not going to grieve because I have my own life to live."

"I'm not going to take time out of my day just because it's 9/11."

"It was bad, but it was a long time ago."

"Let's keep it in the past where it belongs."

How stupid can you possibly be?

How ****ing selfish, lazy, irresponsible, disrespectful, immature, shortsighted, thick-headed, vain and forgetful can one person possibly be?

Don't these idiots yet realise that the world doesn't revolve around them? Don't you ****ing understand that because something may not affect you doesn't make it "not a big deal?" "Oh, let people do what they they want as long as it doesn't affect me." Lazy, selfish bullcrap.

Three thousand people died on 9/11. "Oh, it happened a long time ago, why deal with it?" Because it's your stupid, careless attitude that led to 9/11 in the first place!

Do you honestly think, do you really truly believe in that thick bubble you think you live in, that because it happened eight years ago that we should just move on? Why don't we just set up a few signs saying "Come get us again--we don't give a ****!" Because that kind of attitude is EXACTLY what leads to further attacks like this.

Learning from history means not forgetting history; not forgetting history means not brushing it aside because "it happened a long time ago" or because "it doesn't affect you." It's nothing short of disrespectful to the maximum to act like people shouldn't worry about it anymore.

I'm so pissed off at the hyper-individualists running around society that really would not give a **** if the entire world were to explode as long as they got to keep the piece of land inside their bubble. "It doesn't affect me! It doesn't affect me!" This kind of attitude is for "too-cool-for-school" teenagers still obsessed over dystopian Ayn Rand and George Orwell and Alduous Huxley novels who think the world, the government and society in general exists to make them repellent to anything negative against them; to see full-grown adults in and out of college with some basic idea of how the world works spout this ignorance is too ****ing much to bear.

God, I'm so ****ing pissed. Grow the **** up and realise that 9/11 does matter, that it always will matter, and that 3,000 deaths is not something to trivialise, brush over or forget.

I just got back from seeing 9.

The movie's about a little doll thing named 9, who comes to life after the end of human civilization. As he wanders the ruins of human houses and cars, he begins to encounter some other doll things, all of whom are numbered from 1 to 8. The machines that killed off humanity are after the doll things.

The movie is very, very, VERY nicely animated. Think of how Pixar would look if it was run by Tim Burton. But that's pretty much all the movie has going for it.

The story (what we have of it) moves too fast. Not ten minutes after 9 comes to life (the very beginning of the movie), he's off fighting machines and going through incredible dangers for a doll thing he met three minutes ago and yet feels extremely attached to, and already he seems to have developed a strong bond with 5, another doll thing that goes with him on little more than a whim. The ending is very weird--not bad, per se, but a very strange blend of science and the supernatural kinda have you going "WTF"? The soundtrack is boring. The characters warm up to eachother way too fast (did I already mention that?) and none of them are memorable.

Really, the superb animation is the only saving grace of this movie. Without it, all we'd have are a fast yet convoluted story full of bland and uninteresting characters mis-mashed with juvenile morals and what I suspect may be an anti-religious allegory, considering the behavior, setting and even wardrobe of one of the characters (that's just me, though). 4/10.