...And finished it in just over 7 hours. Luckily this one has multiplayer where it's hella fun to shotgun snipe. This recent streak of new games has gotten me thinking but we'll save that for later.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bM0wVjU2-k

...and finished it in about 7 hours. Beautiful scenery, highly atmospheric, kind of "meh" combat. I really liked it, save for the being really short.

I am a simple man. I like explosions, music, trombones, and things that I think are funny. I saw this a few weeks ago and I never clicked on it until recently. I, good sirs and madams, am a gamer at heart. I couldn't help but think that if Mario treats his mother like this that maybe Bowser is the one trying to save Peach.

(Right-Click and click on view image in new tab/window)

How many of you have ever played a game that was so emotional for you that you cried or yelled or cheered when something happened? Remember in Silent Hill 2 when you watch the video tape in the hotel? I cried. Remember in Half-Life 2 when the combine officer was revealed to be Barney Calhoun? I cheered. Remember when you played Mass Effect 2 and one of your squad members got killed in the ending because you screwed up? I yelled.

Now, how many of you have been so emotionally involved in a game that you couldn't finish it?

I preordered Frictional Games' "Amnesia: The Dark Descent" after playing about 5 minutes of the demo. In the demo, I hadn't even seen a monster and I had already bought it. Amnesia is the single scariest experience you will ever have in a game. Remember how much I loved Condemned: Criminal Origins because it was so damn scary? I played Condemned to calm down afterwards.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent is the kind of game that you bring a spare pair of underpants for and only play with the lights on in broad daylight because it's so **** terrifying. Granted, I played in a dark room late at night with the sound waaaay up. The game's story is simple, you wake up in a castle with amnesia. Go.

Exploration leads you to find out that this is no ordinary castle, it's owned by a cruel and evil man who, in a note to yourself, you are ordered to kill. This whole killing a man thing would be easy in any other game because you had something Amnesia doesn't have: a weapon. Actually, even a stick or a rusty spoon or trombone would be more defense than what you get in Amnesia. Amnesia gives you two options when you run into the horrid creatures lurking in the shadows: Run like hell or get your face beat so badly it comes out your ass and you explode.

Your only real option is to run like the dickens and put as many doors, walls, boxes, bodies, and tables in the way until you can find a place to hide like a cupboard or a bed or a prison cell. This would be a whole lot easier if they weren't faster than you.

Another hazard you frequently encounter when fleeing for your life is that doors are realistic. Yup. You wouldn't think of a door in a game as unrealistic. Think about how many games let you open the door from either direction by pushing it? Amnesia was very clever (frankly, they were the logical ones) and made doors only push open from one direction. Doors don't close on their own, either, that's up to you to do.

Now, there was one particular instance in which I screamed like a little girl with the mouth of a sailor and I'm going to recreate the scene for you. In the demo, you start off at the beginning of the game, exactly how it begins. You make your way and eventually you reach a "level door" which is where the game loads the next area and it skips you ahead a bit. You get your trusty lantern and head into the wine cellar of the castle and a creepy narrative of how this "evil shadow- a sort of living nightmare", is chasing you and you must stay in the light to keep it at bay. That'd be awesome if the monsters couldn't see you in the light. In fact, I found it strange that they could only see you in the light and they're blind in the dark but they hang out in the dark anyway. Hurmm. Anyway, I saw this shadow off in the distance and, having just played through Condemned 2: Bloodshot which was slightly disappointing as you literally yell people to death and it just wasn't scary and any time you saw something even remotely intimidating you had this move at your disposal called the "hobo rush" where you charge your opponent and elbow them in the face. Well, I didn't realize I couldn't do that so I charged it full-on, balls-to-the-wall, crazy fast. I got up next to it and it just dissolved. I was flabberghasted. Hang on, we're not quiet there yet.

So the game gets released and I load it up and that night I'm playing with my buddy Chris from the BK story and I get to the part where you're supposed to get the lantern and I'm looking around for it all over the place. No dice. It's not here. I should have taken the hint that the demo was just that, a demo of what kinds of things to expect in the game. So I tool around and finally find me a lantern and some drugs to heal my wounds and I make my way through the levels, not so much as once seeing a monster and I make it to that cellar again. Mind you, I'm about 2 hours into the game at this point and haven't even seen a single monster which is amazing as I was so scared that I had to put the game down twice by this point.

I enter the cellar and hear that creepy narrative again. Evil shadows, living nightmare, etc, etc, etc and I come to that room. It's noticeably darker; the layout has changed. Hurmm. This is different. Where was the monster strolling along? Well, he must be gone. I make my way forward, pulling out my lantern and I see the shadow appear and it catches me off-guard. Woah.

"Chris, I'm gonna do it." I said.
"Do what?" he asked.

"CHAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGE!"; I rushed forward, ready to hobo-rush the dissolving monster when my light reaches the creature and it STARES DIRECTLY AT ME AND SCREAMS A SCREAM SO BLOODCURDLING THAT I LET OUT THE BIGGEST "HOLY **** I HAVE EVER SCREAMED IN MY LIFE.

I 180-ed my mouse around and took off like an Olympic sprinter going for gold, hearing the pounding of my heart over the sound of the game. I was nearing the end of the tunnel and I knew I would be approaching a level door. At last! There it was! I ran straight towards it, monster in tow. I clicked on the door.

"This door is sealed. It will not open."

It didn't automatically censor the extensive line of profanity I had originally written here so let this italicized sentence stand in place for a string of curse words that would make Bob Saget blush.

I turned around. Bad idea. WARGHHERBARBLE and the monster removes my face from the rest of me and scarfs it down.

So yeah, I'm about 8.5 hours in and I'm really having trouble playing it for very long. If you want a game about raw, pure, terror, check out Amnesia: The Dark Descent. If you want a game that will give you nightmares, check out Amnesia: The Dark Descent. If you like indie games, check out Amnesia: The Dark Descent. If you like games in general, check out Amnesia: The Dark Descent.

No moanin' from me today. Today's my 21st and I plan on it being a good day :)
Have a great weekend, everybody!

So the last review I posted was April 22nd, 2009. Today is September 7th, 2010. That's a long time.
Some of you know that I'm going through what we'll call a rough patch so I needed some cheering up. I decided to review one of the games I play to cheer myself up in a manner with which I would want to read another's review. It may be silly, it may not be a great review, but it made me laugh to write it. I tried to write it in my own voice that I use when trying to cheer up a friend or family member using run-on sentences and whatnot. If you're familiar to my writing $tyle I tend to write things in the manner with which I speak- incomplete thoughts and run-on sentences. Imagine that I'm trying to explain this game with lots of hand motions. It's kind of like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-X3OIeAGpU

So, without further ado, here's my review of The Killing Floor for PC and MAC, released by Tripwire studios.

http://www.gamespot.com/pc/action/killingfloor/player_review.html?id=736317&tag=contributions;review1

My Steam account just got hacked. Awesome.

Last 30 days in review:
Girlfriend left me

Friend died last week

Steam account hacked

Wonderful :S

On a side-note, you all heard Duke Nukem's now a playable game, right? That's pretty awesome.

Speed reviews of several movies I saw over the past year (that you probably didn't) and some others

Movies that looked good and were good:

• Zombieland
• Kontrol
• Night Watch

Movies that looked bad and were good:

• The Expendibles
• Dead Sno
• Resident Evil: Degeneration
• Despicable Me
• My Name Is Bruce
• Battle Royale
• The Descent
• Pandorum wasn't bad, either

Movies that looked good and were bad:

• Fortunately, none

Movies that looked bad and were:

• Clash of the Titans

Things involving moving pictures that I look forward to:

• Venture Bros. Season 4.5
• Burn Notice Season 4.5
• The third movie in the Night Watch series

As the drama that is my incredible life unfolds I shall notify you. Any questions on these movies, gimme a holler and I'll elaborate.

OH. MY. GOD.

Is that not the greatest thing you've seen all day?

Girlfriend comes home Friday! Yay!

I've been really busy with work. I got a job with Freudenberg-NOK, a multi-national joint-venture between the German and Japanese giants, Freudenberg and NOK, as an engineer for the summer for some project work. It pays reallywell for a summer job but it gets me up at 5.30 am for a 90 minute commute up north and I don't get home until nearly 6.30 pm, so needless to say I don't do much gaming.

Not much else happened other than me going to a Streetlight Manifesto concert where I was kicked so hard I collapsed and was caught by the people around me--I probably would have died otherwise, and not much else is happening, though next week I'm going to see the live performance of the Star Wars soundtrack with some friends and the following week my girlfriend comes home from France after her 2 month trip, which I can't wait for.

So what's new with you?