That was a lot of fun!!!!!

I have never been to an event where I could could take a part  in it even though I wasn't physically there.  It..was..awesome!

Like the editors said on GS, it was better if you weren't in San Fran...and you were at home checking out the action from the comfort of your own keyboard.  I loved it.  Check out the highlights and see what you missed out on...MC Chris was my personal favorite.  Ridge Racer was really cool to see as well.

Buh Bye.

1. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died
peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown

2. Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you
get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
"Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
--Author Unknown

3. "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that.
It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey

4. "The problem with the designated driver program, it's
not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into
doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night,
drop them off at the wrong house."
--Jeff Foxworthy

5. "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball
and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the
infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."
--Dave Barry

6. "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and
we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend
wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice.
There should be severance pay, the day before they leave
you, they should have to find you a temp."
--Bob Ettinger

7. "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took
her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said,
'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"
--Paula Poundstone

8. "A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: "Duh."
--Conan O'Brien

9. "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm
halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....
I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery

10. "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of
people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime
and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough......
Let's go west.'"
--Richard Jeni

11. "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the
impersonators would be dead."
--Johnny Carson

12. "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--Paul Rodriguez

13. "My parents didn't want to move to Florida,
but they turned sixty and that's the law."
--Jerry Seinfeld

14. "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in
case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line
from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that?
What, do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson

15. "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many.
Monogamy is the same."
--Oscar Wilde

16. "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a
member of Congress.. But I repeat myself."
--Mark Twain

17. "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student.
At least they can find Afghanistan."
--A. Whitney Brown

18. "You can say any foolish thing to a dog,
and the dog will give you a look that says,
'My God, you're right!
I never would've thought of that!'"
--Dave Barry

19. Do you know why they call it "PMS"?
Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.
--Unknown, presumed deceased

20. "Everybody's got to believe in something.
I believe I'll have another beer."
-- W. C. Fields

And finally:  Why in Hell should I have to Press 1 for English???
(in America, obviously)

Despite having nearly been completely absent from the boards for the last three weeks.  I've become a Blaster Master.  Sounds appropriate since I've been blasting away at work quite a bit. 

Coming out of the long holiday tomorrow and back to the grind..for a whole three days then back to another squadron down south for a week for some more "Blastin'".

And here it is, August 11th, first day at Level 21 Rescue Ranger.

5.99% on the first day.  Took long enough, but I wouldn't ever want to have to do that again.  :P

Eighth and FINAL Update: 9 August 2006: 99.96%  I'm as close to done with level 20 as possible.  Tomorrow I will officially be a Rescue Ranger.  Thank goodness!!!:D  It's taken me over 2 and a half MONTHS to get here.  I guess I'm officially a dedicated Gamespot user.  :P

Seventh Update: 8 August 2006: 96.82%  Well, I was way off with my estimate.  Didn't have the regular access I would have liked though.  Hopefully this will be my last day as the Slimy Metal.  If not, then 2 more days definitely.

Sixth Update: 31 July 2006: 91.74%  Probably about four more days of this and I'll be done with the "Hell Level"

Fifth Update: 26 July 2006: 82.3%  Looks like about 20 percent gained over 16 days.  That averages out to about 1.25% a day.  Not maxed out everyday but I am getting there.

Fourth Update: 10 July 2006: 62.99%  Had duty on Saturday, so I was on for almost 24hrs straight.  Took a little 2 hour nap and got back on.  Getting closer everyday.

Third Update: 27 June 2006: 45.27%  10 Days later and moved up all of 13%.  I didn't hit the boards as much as I could have but that couldn't be helped.  I was hungover. 

Second Update: 17 June 2006: 32.77% and climbing ever so slowly no matter how active.  I think the most I've jumped is 2% in any one day.

First Update: 5 June 2006, I'm all of 14.46% now.  woo...................................................hoo

Metal Slime (Lvl 20) now, as of 5-21-06.  First day: 0.16%

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

1.   On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

2.   On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

3.   On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.

4.   "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"

5.   "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

6.    As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

7.    After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the over head compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

8.  From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

9.    "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite." (I heard this one on SW)

10.    "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

11.    "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

12.    "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. But please do not leave children or spouses."

13.   And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

14.    Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

15.    Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

16.    Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

17.     An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

18.    After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

19.    Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."

20.    Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

21. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine.

A state trooper spied a car puttering along at 22 MPH. So he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over. Approaching the car, he noticed that five old guys were inside, and they looked wide-eyed and terribly pale.

The driver pleaded with him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Sir," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous."

"I beg to differ, Officer, I was doing the speed limit exactly: twenty-two miles an hour!" the old man said.

The trooper, chuckling, explained to him that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the man grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out his error.

"But before I let you go, Sir, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These guys seem awfully shaken."

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute," the old man said. "We just got off Route 119."

I think the life cycle is all backwards......
You should die first, start out dead and get it out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home, feeling better everyday.   You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension
Then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.  
You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous And you get ready for High School.
You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play.
You have no responsibilities, You become a baby.
Then, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully With luxuries like central heating, spa room service on tap, larger quarters everyday.
And finally you finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case. 

- Author Unknown