Wow it certainly has been a while. Thank my poor gaming skills for my reappearance. I got stuck and was looking up a game guide when I decided to stop in and see how everything's going around GS. It seems to be a pretty sad state of affairs. Even more departures and changes from what I can see.

More and more people are just cutting loose, and they just can't be replaced. I really think the golden age is over.

But just some quick updates on my life.

Started Year 11 at school this year, and man is it hard work. I've taken up 5 TEE subjects (HSC for anyone in the eastern states, and if you're not from australia, well, I don't know) Physics, Chemistry, Maths 3A, Maths Specialist and the compulsory English. I'm also doing a Contemporary Music course which is great :D

Gaming is virtually non-existant in my life now, I just don't have the time or the interest any more. Sigh.

Been writing A LOT, songs and poetry and whatnot, and getting some tracks recorded with my sitser.

Other than that, this year has been a tumultuous one for me. For a few years now, I have been struggling with depression, and things were going pretty badly for me. All of it came to a head in February this year when I was taking a night time walk with some friends. I tried to drown myself at the beach. Thankfully they got me to come back out of the water. Since then I've found help and am taking a course of medication. Had some couselling sessions but found it didn't really help much and gave up. Everything is so much better now though, I'm much much happier, and I'm okay with who I am. Life is beginning to make a lot more sense.

Now while I might not be staying here at Gamespot long, I would very much like to catch up with any old friends, so if you're around and want to chat, PM me. Or email me at hungryjacks_burgers@hotmail.com If any of you have msn you can also add me at this address

Or add me on myspace www.myspace.com/hungryjacks92

or Twitter http://twitter.com/jackhayesb

Well, that's all for now I guess...

Also, I realise I never did a farewell blog, so I guess this is it. To all of you still out there, goodnight and goodbye.

I've had something of a relevation these last couple of days, I won't go so far as to say it was life-changing, but it has definitely shifted my perspective on things. It's very hard to describe, through a series of both tragic and happy events that happened to me and people close to me, and a strange sequence of dreams and random thoughts, my very being has been altered.

The closest thing I can think of to compare it to is Alice in Wonderland, a strange reference I know, but bear with me... she also experienced a strange dream sequence which changed her view on life, and there is a quote that comes to mind that I think sums up how I feel- "Dear, dear! How queer everything is today! I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got yp this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, 'Who am I' Ah, that's the puzzle", so I have to decided to call my condition Wonderland syndrome. This may seem strange to you, but it amuses me, so leave me be...

Now, don't worry, I'm not a completely different person... I'm still the same major you know and love/hate/(insert comment here). I've just had a slight personality change, I'll still be around. Well, I don't expect anyone to really understand that, but I felt I had to put my thoughts into words. And whether it was a personality switch, an epiphany, or a possible psychological episode, I feel like I'm a better person for it.

Well that was a very pointless ramble, and badly written too. After this I will go back to blogging as per normal. I was going to raise another rather thought-provoking topic in this blog, but it would be too long, and I don't want to start any arguments, as it most probably would... so maybe next time.

That's all folks.

Well, I decided it was about time to post something up here, since the old one's been there for almost a month. I know that blogging just for the sake of blogging isn't much of a resaon, so I'll provide you with updates on what's going on in my life.

School has been a killer, what with this being our last term, and an incredibly short one at that (6 weeks), as well us having outdoor ed camp coming up. So we have have been hit hard with assessments and I'm frantically studying for exams. Luckily I have been able to keep up with it though, so I'll I still have time for a social life, and some time to spare for gaming and GS.

I've been working a bit, but not enough to earn huge amounts of money, especially considering I spent a few hundred dollars over the school holidays. But I'm getting the hang of it more now, and getting to know the people better, so it's not as bad as it could be.

I have a shiny new laptop to replace my old one that got "destroyed" when our house flooded. It was already broken anyway, but we claimed it on insurance and I got something a lot better. So I now have my PC and my laptop, which is far superior, and will let me actually play games.

Although with gaming, there's not much going on... Been playing a lot of Zork, I love the old DOS games. And I will be getting Counter Strike: Source and Garry's Mod, because 1.6 is beginning to annoy me. I've also started playing SAMP (San Andreas Multiplayer), which is incredibly fun because of the community and modding. I don't really have enough cash to be buying new games, although I plan to get Force Unleashed for Wii, and hopefully I can convince my parents to get me a 360 or PS3 for Christmas, not sure what I want yet, still considering which has games that appeal to me more.

Apart from that, not much happening, I'm enjoying summer and being able to get out more with my friends, although today was ridiculously hot, spent most of my time indoors with air-conditioning or swimming.

I haven't had much opportunity for writing, and frankly I couldn't be bothered, although I have been researching for what my be my first editorial type blog. I know I said I would post more poetry, and that will happen soon, considering I have to write poems for school, so I will use that as an excuse to motivate me. I have been writing some music, but don't expect to see it here...

And one final thing before I wind down this blog, I am considering forming a union, because while I enjoy the one's I am in, they can get a bit slow sometimes, so I'm tossing around ideas, I have two main ideas that are drawing my interest. First of all, I would like to create a casual discussion/off topic/creatively themed union, already got some ideas for that one. But the other one which I only thought of today is more likely to happen. I consider myself something of a film buff, but what inspired me was my love of badly made films, real C-grade shockers, or anything with "technical inconsistencies". The only issue I have with that is I don't think there are that many people who share my passion, and it would be hard to get enough support to get it off the ground. So, what do you think folks? Either of them worthy of creation?

Well, apart from that I have nothing to say, although it turned out quite a bit longer than I expected. Look forward to moer from me in the coming weeks.

... for once in my life. As I said in my previous blog I've been writing some poetry lately, and with not much else to blog about, I decided to start posting some. This is a piece I wrote a while ago, one of my first poems.

Betrayal

Darkness, my true and only friend,
come hide me from the horrors of the night
Until your reign of silence comes to a bitter end
And I am left to face the new day's treacherous light.

In your black embrace, I hide away
Alone with the torments of my restless mind
But you cloak me with dreams, keep my demons at bay
And protect me from fear by making me blind

But now, on this night I wish I'd fled,
for in my dreams malicious shadows creep
And that dark horse thunders wildly through my head
Then, shaken and screaming, I wake from my sleep

In darkness, now, I hear them crawl
All around me, strange phantoms are fast closing in
Now I realise the truth, you are no friend at all,
to deprive me of sight, and let these things win

Not a friend, but not my enemy
You do this not out of hate, or from spite
A harsh lesson learned, but now I can see,
the cold, cruel indifference of the night

Comments and criticism would be much appeciated, but don't be too harsh, since this is some of my earliest work. Depending on what people's reaction is, I might post more of my poetry here. Also, with not much to write about, I'm considering starting a blog series, don't really have any concrete ideas yet, just snowballing things in my mind, but suggestions would be welcome. I thought about bringing back Word of the Week from its grave, but I don't think the time is right for that.
Alright, thanks for reading, I'll see you 'round.

Well guys, after a much lengthened break from Gamespot, forced upon me mostly by PC issues and lack of time, I have returned. I actually got my new PC up and running a couple of weeks ago, and I have delayed posting this blog due to speculation over whether or not I should come back to Gamespot. When I have managed to get online over the past few months I've seen good friends leaving, and a drop in activity in some of my old unions, so there didn't seem much point coming back. But I decided hey, there's still some people hanging around here, so why not make the best of it. Sadly, I have been seduced by MySpace, but while I may not be as active as I used to be, I will still be here frequently, and posting as often as I can.

Anyway, news from my life:
Not a lot has been going on gaming-wise, sure I've had my Wii for a while now, and I got Brawl when it was released here in Aus, as well as a few other games I've picked up, but nothing to write home about. I haven't been able to do any gaming on my PC, because the graphics card in this machine is abysmal, but I hope to upgrade it in future, and I am getting a new laptop as well :). I might get myself an Xbox 360, or a PS3, or both, if I make some money.

My life is pretty average as usual, school is boring me, but my social life has picked up since I left here, yet another reason for delaying my return. I left my (part-time) job because the hours were killing me, but I plan to get a new one working at Auto-pro, so that should be good. I've been loving my music, what with a new iPod, and getting about a thousand new songs, both through buying albums, and a few more downloads.

As for my blogs, I'll just be posting randomly, so don't expect too much. I might put up some of the poetry I've been writing lately, but don't expect anything too exceptional or long-winded. In case anyone is wondering (doubtful), Word of the Week will not be returning, at least not anytime in the foreseeable future, it's just too tiring and time consuming to do.

So anyway, that's just about it for now, guess I'll be seeing you all around.

So finally I have a chance to post an update. Sorry I've been so inactive, but my laptop has pretty much died on me, there's no hope for it this time, since the hard drive screwed itself somehow. So, looks like I'll be building myself a new PC, which I guess is a good thing, I needed to update my PC anyway so I could get some new games.

I realise that before I went AWOL, my blogs were infrequent, short and irrelevant to anything really. I'll use the usual excuses, I'm busy and tired and all that, but really I couldn't think of much to write about. So once I manage to get back online for good, I'll be writing some more serious blogs, hopefully more often than I was before. I'm trying to get up to date with everyone else's blogs, I might not comment, but I've read through most of them by now.

On the gaming side of life, the only news is that I nabbed myself a Wii, lucky me. It is still incredibly difficult to find them, only one place in town had any in stock, and I got one of the last two. So far I have no games apart from the complementary Wii Sports, which I must admit is not bad fun. I might look into a Wii Fit, and I'll be putting Brawl on preorder. The only thing that annoys me is that I haven't been able to buy any more remotes. Since the console only came with one, I went shopping around and absolutely noone had any in stock. I even looked on eBay and there were very few on there.

Now, I usually don't actually buy music, but I'm going to make an exception. There are four or five albums that I really want, so this weekend I'm going down to Sanity to buy them. Maybe I'll wirte more about that later, but who really cares?

I've been doing surfing at school, and so far it's been fun, I've been a few times outside of school, but I was never very good. So far I've managed to catch a couple of good waves, and we've only had two sessions, the first of which was boring because the ocean was completely flat. I might start boxing, not competetively, but just to get myself fit, which I've been meaning to do for ages.

That's about all I can think of for now, so I guess I'll see ya round. :D

Well, some unfaithful souls have been banished from my realm. Not as many as the last time, but quite a few none the less. However, my decision is not final. Appeal to me, and you may be returned from exile. But now you know, this is what happens to those who fall out of my favour.

Now begone!

I am tired, but I must go on. The shore is still within sight, just out of reach. I force myself to keep swimming, at the same time cursing myself for my foolishness. I meant only to go a short distance out, but the current was strong and unpredictable, drawing me out further than I expected.

As I struggle, proudly, vainly, uselessly trying to match my strength against the unforgiving might of the ocean, I see others, drawn by the pull of the tide, some of them, like me, fighting against for all their worth. But others go willingly, or else unknowingly into the rough and dangerous seas beyond, some even swimming with the current, venturing recklessly into the unknown.

After an unknowable time battling the ocean, being drawn ever further from the now distant shore, I lose my purpose. I no longer have the strength, or the will, to keep fighting what I know is a losing battle. Rather than hold on, and prolong my torment, I stop resiting, and finally give in to the pull of the unrelenting, merciless tide.

I realise too late what an error of judgement I have made, for this is worse, so far worse than anything in that initial struggle, and I have neither chance nor hope of going back. This is surely death, or hell, or something beyond. But just as it seems all is lost, darkness falls, and I am plunged into merciful, blissfull oblivion.

I wake on an unfamiliar shore, tired, broken, and defeated. How long it has been since I arrived on this strange shore is unknown. The place is forbidding and hostile, there are no signs of life. Even the harsh grey sky seems to echo what the future holds in store for me in this dismal place. After many days lying stranded on this distant shore, I decide to venture into the bleak and barren desert beyond.

To my great astonishment, before I have even gone more than a few steps, I find myself in a veritable oasis, teeming with life, and beckoning with the lure of excitement and secrets. But I remain supsicious of this vibrant place, and with a building sense of unease, I press on. Even when I finally stumble upon the friendly, welcoming inhabitants of this land, I distrust them, despite their openness and familiarity.

As I grow more used to this place and settle into the community, I realise that it can never be my home. At first, the people are friendly, but this increases my sense of loneliness. I become withdrawn and secluded, and the others keep their distance from me, ignoring me as much as I distrust them.

One day, the montony of my lonely existance is broken. A stranger has arrived, though to me he seems all too familiar. He has travelled from a distant land, arriving in a boat on the shores of the ocean which hold me here. The others show nothing but vague curiosity about this news, but I have a burning desire to return with him to the land across the sea.

The journey is short, lengthened only by my anxiousness to be home. I am welcomed with open arms by my friends of long ago. I am relieved, my dreams fulfilled, but there is something wrong, some dark shadow creeping into the deepest corners of my mind. And then I realise my worst fears, I have been changed by my travels to the other place, and I no longer here in my home.

Doubt and terror are drawing ever closer, but I do not despair, for I know what I must do. I devote myself and everything I have to building a boat of my own, nothing else is important, not friends, or pleasure, not even time. Once my work is complete, I travel once more to the strange land across the sea. I am welcomed back once again, and this time I am more trusting of the people here. This time the feeling of friendship runs both ways. But even as I hope for a happy future here, I realise that it can never be.

After many more journeys across the sea, I realise the truth. In both of these places, I will always fit in, and be welcomed by friends. But I will never truly belong, even though they accept me, I cannot bring myself to accept them, or to ever truly trust myself. In the end, I have mastered nothing but the ocean, which defeated me so long ago.

The tides of change wash away my soul.

Well, I haven't been online very much this week, but now that I am, I thought I'd let you all know that it's my birthday tomorrow. How awesome is that? And another good thing that will happen tomorrow, I will finally escape from Level 20, which is also a plus.

And I think this is my 50th blog post. What fun!

Well I ended up getting tagged, even though I hoped I wouldn't be...

The one's responsible are Mii_Wii_and_RPG and alext_b.

So, five things you may not have known about me:

1. I was born in the country of Oman, in the Middle East. My parents are Australian, but they were on holiday when they had me (I was a bit of an accident.) Since then I have lived in Australia for about 14 years. If I had been born in Australia, I would have been born a day later.

2. I have had quite a few run ins with snakes. The most notable is when I was sitting on the ground in my backyard when a 2 metre long King Brown (extremely venomous) slithered out of a bush next to me. It left me alone, and my dad cut its head off with a shovel. Another time I picked up what I thought was a small, dead snake. It just so happened that the snake was very much alive. It was a tiger snake, and I'm incredibly lucky it didn't bite me.

3. I play tennis, rugby, and volleyball. Tennis is my most serious sport, and I have been playing for about 8 years. In rugby season I play for my school. And volleyball I play in a casual tournament, with games every second week. I also go surfing regularly (I'm no good at it), and have started to go diving with a friend of mine.

4. I have never broken a bone, but I have suffered some pretty nasty injuries, some sports related, others not. I have split my head open (twice- needed stitches), sprained every single one of my fingers several times (never all at once), dislocated my knee, been hit in the mouth with a metal baseball bat, had my fingers shut in the hinge side of a door, scraped one of my toes down to the bone on the road, and I still hold a scar on my leg from trying to jump into a moving car. The list could go on and on, but those are just some of the more severe injuries.

5. I am extremely good at climbing, and shoving myself into small spaces. I also have plans for absolute global domination, and have several plans of how I will take over, none of which will be detailed here.

Well, that's all, I'm really not an interesting person so it took me ages to think of those. I am going to tag: SHACKR, Forte310, ljlrj, and OrkHammer007.

Noone is safe, so beware, or you may wake up one day to find I have stolen all your curtains. :twisted: