First off I apologize for any first time vistors who happen to visit my area and read this somber posting intead of my usual light hearted ones. I must admit that this is my only outlet anymore for gaming or even problems I face. I refuse to use MySpace, UTube, or any other contraversial internet site. I trust GameSpot only because of the people I have been blessed to cross paths with and am glad to call friends. So, if you are expecting a light hearted, humorous posting, please drop in another time and I will do my best to put something together a little more entertaining. For now, I need to share my struggle with SAD, or Seasonal Affective Disorder, in the hopes that anyone else who suffers it without knowing will find proper treatment for it before they travel the same road as me.

If you have never heard of SAD, or SDD (Seasonal Depression Disorder as it was called when I was in college), look it up in WebMD or any other web based health site. I'm not an expert on it in terms of explaining it; I only know how it feels and how it has affected most of my adult life. I notice plenty of other mental disorders I'm sure need professional help: OCD, Crowd Anxiety, perhaps even chronic depression. I received help from professionals at my work right before I was married and did notice improvements in my mood and outlook on life. The problem is, just when I began to show good improvement my counselors and psychiatrists left the hospital system. The only follow up I received from my employer was a letter stating that I could continue to receivemedication that I was on so long as I phoned into a particular line each month to request refills. Don't get me wrong about medicines, since I know first hand that they DO help. They do not, however, offer a long term help without any kind of counseling along with it. I took myself off the drug and did my best to use the few stress management techniques I had learned. I vowed never to go back this branch of this hospital if at all possible.

Four years later I find myself in a far worse situation. I've lost contact with nearly every close friend I've had since I was in sixth grade on through college, my brother is two time zones away and works an off shift, I havn't seen many of myextended family members (save one grandmother who does live in town) in nearly two years, and I realized just today at my wife's family gathering just how much I don't fit in and feel completely removed from them all. SAD hit me hard tonight and so did my anxiety about being in crowds ofpeople. As much as I tried to deal with it with what I know,none of it worked and I know I let my wife down with having to leave early since Ibattle for two hours the urge to vomit and a headache that spanned the entire left hemisphere of my brain.I want this to stop but I don't trust the help my work/insurance will provide and there is no way for me to get outside help without spending a good portion of my families' life savings on in outside network help. I'd change jobs if not for that fact that the closests hospital hiringlab techs is a two hour drive away and I have even more problems driving on interstates and battling an age old problem of falling asleep at the wheel when driving for extended amounts of time. I wonderful sub-clause on my mortgage prevents leaving the area for new employment unless I want to pay a very sizable penalty for selling the house to soon. I continue to search for hope, and new ideas, but as it has been for the past year only God knows how I'm going to get out of this. I'm just waiting around in the dark until He shares a little insight with me.

The point in all this, and there is one I promise, is not that SAD or any form of depression is incurable. What I want any reader to know is that if you do notice any symptoms of depression PLEASE get out there and get some help for it before it gets worse. Don't let it consume you like it does me. If you are still under your parents insurance take advantage of this and get some help before you get locked into having to deal with nitwits who would make better grass whispers than counselors for people who really want their help to feel better and learn ways to make themselves feel better all the time. Medicine and therapy can work so long as it you find people who are willing to search for the right ones that fit your needs. Because unlike everything medical science wants us to believe, not every one will respond the same way to every treatment.Thanks for stopping in for all w. I who do read this. I promise I'll be looking for some help too, though likely not from our own resident numbskulls.

First off, a special thank you needs to be given to Burl Ives who gave me the inspiration to create the Satellite Fields Christmas special. As much as I would have loved to have a singing snowman (ala the old Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer movie), I had to settle with Burl doing, well watch the show and just see what he does. ;) Anyways, as always the video quality had to take a slight degrade in order to post it on GameSpot (one day I might have the extra cash to subscribe and get more space but it definitely has not arrived yet) and even worse my computer experience some slow down because of the heavy snow fall and all the sims actions going on in the outdoor scenes. So if you notice some hitching and slow down in the movie don't worry, it's not your computer. It was mine during the filming process. Some outdoor scenes may even seem a little short or transition to another scene to fast. Well, this is because during many of the outdoor shot processes a visiting sim decided to pay a visit and walked right in front of the camera and/or blocked part of the action in some way. All attempts to keep the vagrants out did not succeed so I either had to reshoot some scenes or just cut them back a little bit during editing. This film fits more into the category of "cute" funny as opposed to the weird stylings of Monty Python. If you look closely you will notice, however, that all the Monty Python crew signed on to shoot this. Not to gain any sort of fame mind you, just for the free drinks and the chance to dance like the wild sims they really are. :D So grab a cup of spiked egg nog, don your Santa cap and enjoy some Holiday cheer spiced only the way the Satellite Fields can serve up!

The last scene only took a mere three hours to film thanks to weather, sims misbehavior and of course an over energetic toddler I had to help keep in check during the whole shot process, BUT it all came together finally and now Monty Python's The Lumberjack Song has found a home on the Satellite Field's movie area. Like before, the whole process ended up being far more of a pain than anticipated so my movie producing desire has been flushed down the toilet once again. It's probably best I turn the creativity centers of the old brain off for now anyways otherwise some creepy satellite laden form of holiday movie would have surfaced. :? Who would ever want to watch something that ghastly? Alright, probably a lot of people.So if the idea does resurface from the flushed realms of the Mad Cow laden brain of mine then I'll be sure to put it to video. Until then, enjoy the Lumberjack Song and be sure to keep an eye out for Bigfoot! He is in there somewhere... ;)

I thought it felt like a long time since I had last posted anything here and looking at my history it has been at least two months. I know exactly where all that time has gone to: Wizardry 8. The very afternoon I made my last post here I found a direct download version of this classic game and before I knew it I was stuck in the dungeons for two months. Or at least that's where my free time has been spent when I'm not working, cooking, cleaning, watching the toddler or getting the house ready for winter. With the holidays in full swing now I really have to plan my free time out more carefully or I'll be doing the dreaded holiday shopping at the last minute! Thank God for gift cards because every family member has given the typical "I don't know what I want response" which makes gift getting near impossible.

When free time does become more readily available I've decided it's about time to start shooting another Sims movie. I've thought about setting up a delightful "holiday" themed one with plenty of satellite gifts but the temptation to put together Monty Python's "Lumberjack Song" is beating the previous idea out. Either way I'll be sure to put something up that will fit the usual crazy antics the Satellite Fields loves to promote.

Along with the movie itch I've been getting the all too familiar desire to get something new to dive into. Mind you something "new" to me is usually a game that's been out anywhere from six months to three years so it doubtfully will be considered anything new to the hardcore gaming community. I've been setting my sights on the recent Civ IV expansion "Beyond the Sword" to rekindle this old time waster I loved to play last year (yet again it was another "new" game to me but definitely not to most of the gaming world). I've certainly learned that games now must be throughly researched and also have a few mandatory components: it cannot cost more than $30, it has to fit into my three year old PC's hardware abilities, it must have a pause function, it must have great replay value and it must be easy to pickup again after I've walked away from it from a few hours to a few years. While I'm sure I'd enjoy many other games that do not fit into these options, given my current life situation it just isn't possible. But at least I can enjoy the thought that when the situation does change I can go out and pick up used copies of all the great games I have missed over the years! I swear one of these days I will get my hands on a PS2 and complete all the Final Fantasy additions I missed out on...that was indeed the hardest thing to resist during the last next-gen consoles.

So until next time, just remember to keep an eye on the movie tab as I'm sure SOMETHING will be cropping up soon. :)

You would think after playing video games for nearly 20 years I would have learned the most valuable lesson in protecting ones favorite and classic games: be careful of what you sell. A great example, while possibly a bad example of the taste of games I have so feel free to mock as you like, is the one favorite I sold three years ago to give me some cash to dive into the Sims 2 franchise. I sold Wizardry 8 which at that time was five years old and had gone through it's gold and editor's choice re-release with all the great patches already installed on it. I believe I paid $29.99 for it and roughly a year and a half later got $8-$10 for it at a local video game redistributor. I felt slightly pressured to sell a lot of my old PC games since the store was not going to be buying back PC games ever again in a few weeks. Now just a few months later (after Sims 2 with university had cooled off and nightlife was a month away) darn it did I not get that temptation to load up Wizardry 8 again but remembered I sold the darn thing. To wrap it all up, yes you can find the game still but original re-released discs are selling on average for $65! It can be dowloaded for a cheaper $35 but still the price for this old classic is just incredible. Lesson learned and hopefully passed on to all who read this: if you have a classic or favorite that you loved to play even if you havn't touched it in years, don't sell it! Odds are if you do sell it and eventually want to revisit it you will pay out the heiny to get another copy. Just pack it away somewhere safe or better yet give it to a friend who you can rely on to keep it and still get some decent gaming time out of it.

Moving on to a promise I made earlier, I have decided to renig on posting the Sims 2 quick creature creating processes on my blog. Before anyone starts throwing stones, here's the alternative I chose: go visit the below link for access to all the processes and also check out the Sims Authority Union while you're at it. Maybe sign up and join us for some chit chat about dropping satellites on sims before you leave? :D At least I hope anyone who checks out these processes finds them as useful as I do.

http://www.gamespot.com/pages/unions/articles.php?union_id=RSA&cat_ids=36

Well the Sims 2 quick creature creation guide I was trying to post on GameFAQs has been rejected for the second time stating it was "overspecialized." So instead of trying to "dumb-down" my guide (if that was even possible) I will instead post the processes here in my blog over the next few weeks. The Sims Authority will be getting an immediate posting of all processes so if you havn't joined up here's the incentive to do so now! I'll post a process here every monday starting next week. As with most of my contributions, if I ever do manage to get some web space I'll post a link to the place where the official guide can be reached. On the gaming front I've been enjoying some time with Bon Voyage despite it's massive NPC generation flaw. If you havn't heard about this, go check out the forum for this game immediately and get the fix it directs you to! Incidently I have noticed the obvious spelling mistake in my banner page that I worked very hard to arrange, DOH! While the OCD part of my mind says "FIX IT! Fix it now!" the lazy part of my mind says "fix later and put more satellites in!" As you can see, I'm going with the lazy part for now. With all the fall shows starting up my gaming time will likely go down too. While I'm not a huge TV watcher I do like to watch some shows with my wife and it "gets me off the computer" which is one of her pet peeves with me. I also have to give the shout out to my Colts who have gone 3-0 for the third year in a row (yeah go ahead and lay your jeers on me for all those Manning haters but I live in Indy and I stand by him and the whole team). Just leave the negative comments tasteful please if you leave them, I want to keep the page clean! Well, as clean as a page that supports dropping satellites on hapless sims can be that is! :D

Talk about productivity, I think I nearly put myself into cardiac arrest with all this stuff but at least it's done.My Sims 2 Quick Creature Creation Guide has been submitted and will hopefully be available for viewing on GameFAQs soon; I'll post a link when/if it makes it through. My Monty Python movie tribute has been posted in the videos section but I'll confess the video quality is poor due to being limited to file size here on Gamespot. But at least it's there for those who are brave enough to watch it. I've got one last posting to make regarding the sneak peek info for the next Sims 2 expansion over in the Sims Authority Union before setting off to clean this house up before the in-laws come to visit. That might sound bad to some, but so long as I keep my OCD tendancies in check (ignoring my mother law making many messes in the kitchen is where it's hard) I rather enjoy having them over. Partly because it's free baby sitting which frees up blocks of time for me to pursue old gaming hobbies. While another movie is a long ways away, I will say that the chance of another one popping up again is quite good. I just need a break from trying to coerce sims into doing one particular gesture in less than 30 shots!

I've had the ole' computer offline the past week due to shutting down everything but the most essential background programs to run Sims 2: Bon Voyage "faster." I've uploaded some gameplay pics, a new video (Die by Hail), and will place a custom built beach side vacation home to the Sims 2 exchange shortly after posting this blog. On the movie front I've started building some sets and actually have some scripts worked out in my head. It's too bad there's to many good script ideas in there since I can't decide on what to work on first. Plus actually playing Sims 2 keeps me from doing any thing "productive" so there's no telling when any movie will be released. If any progress is made, I'll upload some pics as a sneak preview. I can say for sure that Monty Python is going to be reborn through the sims first; Ms Crumplebottom may run into some misfortunte on smaller levels too but nothing big for her until I get the hang of my video editor. The Quick Creature Creature Creation guide is going through it's last revisions, so long as I can keep my hands off it and refrain from making any more changes. Hopefully it will be accepted by GameFAQS, but I'll just have wait and see if it's up to their snuff.

While it took most of the morning to get the upload process done on these two mansions I'm sure it will be well worth it since I know I've spent a good deal of time in each lot. The best part is I can just set the file up and let it sit for an hour while keeping my daughter entertained and then repeat the process with the next lot. It's the set up of each one that just takes some attention from me and yet another hour to get it done. Hopefully after I've had my fill of digging into the secrets of Bon Voyage I'll get some more lots uploaded. The Creature Creation FAQ I mentioned before is done up to Seasons, however with Bon Voyage coming out in just a few days I'm holding off on submitting the file so I can contribute any quick way I may find on getting Bigfoot/Sasquatch. I get the feeling the proper way to find this sim could be far harder than the werewolf and if so a quick method will definitely be a big help to gamers like me who just can't spend to much time on a game anymore. We'll all find out soon enough though!

Gamespot should never have given me access to uploading videos, especially now that I've found even more interesting debug items during my Sims 2 Quick Creature Creation FAQ research. I'm sure more will follow though exactly when is hard to say. The FAQ is coming along but I'm beginning to wonder if it's just best to release it after Bon Voyage is out. Since undoubtably everyone will be out hunting for Sasquatch (as if the commercials weren't great already, now Sims 2 movies can get involved) I'm hoping to find a quick method for this creature too. Updates will follow with anything worth writing about, which unless I get attacked by a dust bunny while cleaning the house tommorrow I bet it will be awhile. :?