This month in review is brought to you by freezing fog, schnitzel and viral pneumonia.

 

Gridlock's Month in Review: November 2008

The Damage: New Acquisitions

DS

 

XBox 360

Other Stuff

DVD

Finally, after many long years of searching, I have found my own personal holy grail of DVD releases. A disc containing the original English dub* of Miyazaki's Laputa. The one my dad taped off ITV in the year dot. The one I watched so often growing up that I wore out the video (and then cried about it for days). The new Disney dub just doesn't cut it.  Anyone who watched the film on British telly round about Christmas '91 will know what I mean. So yeah: hunt down the *** release. It's R2, has the old dub and still has a subbed version for geek points.

* Yes, I am aware that watching a dubbed film (rather than a subbed one) is a minor form of blasphemy. But hey: it's nostalgia.

The On-Going Quest: Game Progress

Enchanted Arms (X360)

Time spent to date: 28 hours

Ninjas! A hideout of them. I still like this game enough to keep playing, even though I have come to the conclusion that it is ridiculously easy.

Fallout 3 (PC)

Time spent to date: 49 hours

Needless to say this is where most of my gaming attention has been focused. It's... bloody great. I guess I had some reservations, being a massive fan of Fallout 1 and 2, Bethesda's offering could have been a big disappointment. Worse, it could have been Oblivion: beautiful but boring. Thankfully, it is neither. It looks like the world of Fallout 1 and 2 looked in my imagination and plays like a dream. Love it. The humour isn't quite right, but nobody's perfect. I'm about halfway through the main quest, but I've taken time to do most of the side-quests and am currently just exploring the wasteland. I want those bobbleheads.

 

Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo Tales (DS)

Time spent to date: 3 hours

Just spending some time with this. Great for playing in bed. I'm trying to collect all the cards as I go along but it's like the mini-game Olympics... anyway, I'm on Chapter 3 right now.

 

Achievements

Enchanted Arms (+ 325, 500 total)

Fallout 3 (+ 600, 600 total)

 

 

Right. I'm off to scrounge the Capital Wasteland some more. With Dogmeat.

Alright. So the crappy retail job that's paying the bills has other bonuses. Namely first dibs on all the best offers instore.

Today we were handing out a leaflet with some pretty amazing deals - including £10 off with every single £30 spent. Needless to say this lifted our sagging sales... and decimated our stock levels. Luckily I hid a few goodies away in the cash office and tonight I finally bought my very own DS Lite. A silver one. The last one in stock and with Christmas right around the corner (and all the stock woes that it brings) it's even sweeter. Hehe.

Taking advantage of today's cracking offer a £100 DS and two £25 games didn't cost me £150, but a measly £100. Score.

I wouldn't have bothered usually, except that now my brother is living in a whole other country and his DS isn't within convenient borrowing distance. Grr. So I figured I might as well get my own at long last.

The games I got were Sonic Chronicles (yay Bioware!) and Dragon Quest IV which, when added to the copies of Zelda, Final Fantasy III and Guitar Hero already gracing my shelves, means I've got some serious handheld gaming to do.

Byeski.

Yeah, so my X360 stopped working last night. And before anyone starts grumbling about shoddy design and ticking time bombs... no, it wasn't the RROD. Never had any problems like that.

You see, I kinda dropped the console.

On the floor.

From a height of roughly five feet.

It rattles now and won't turn on.

Aw damn.

Good news is, I packed it all up this morning, whisked it away to Game, used my womanly wiles on the poor, defenceless sales assistant and got a brand new unit out of it. Score.

It's not quite a year old yet so technically it was still under retailer warranty. But I didn't have a receipt (since it was a pressie from my brother) so I was forced to dust off my extra-special 'poor, innocent me' look. It still works ;)

Alas, now I have the fun and games of trying to get all my downloads etc. working on a new machine. I remember hearing something about a tool MS had released to make all this kerfuffle easier... or is that just wishful thinking?

This month in review is brought to you by lunchboxes, bobble heads and I Hate People.

Gridlock's Month in Review: October 2008

The Damage: New Acquisitions

PC

PlayStation 2

XBox 360

DVD

The On-Going Quest: Game Progress

Enchanted Arms (X360)

Time spent to date: 12 hours

I really don't know what all the negativity about this game is for. Alright, so it's not ground-breaking, it's incredibly generic in places and the main character is Tidus Redux. But it's actually a really fun game. The story is okay, the characters (for the most part) are as good as in any game, the strategic combat is a nice touch and the golems are fantastic (and funny). There's not much to generate unconditional love... but what's to hate? Anyway, I'm in the Magic Lab in Yokohama at the moment... about 25% of the way through the game according to the handy completion meter.

Medal of Honor: Pacific Assault (PC)

Time spent to date: 3 hours

I don't like this game much, and I may just put it aside. I've just spent time going through Allied Assault and it's expansions for the first time and I loved the variety present there. Here it's just level after level of the same: creep through jungle, clear out Japanese camps, avoid screaming bayonet rushes and babysit your imbecilic squadmates. Medal of Honor used to be about solo missions, and infiltration, contrasted with heart-racing and original action sequences. Pacific Assault is just bland, boring and often frustrating. Where's the fun factor gone?

The Final Victory: Completed Games

Doom 3: Resurrection of Evil (PC)

Time spent: 3 hours

Bang, bang. A bit of a disappointing expansion to be honest, but hey: I didn't expect much. Three hours or so of mindless imp-hunting can't be sniffed at anyway.

Medal of Honor: Allied Assault (PC)

Time spent: 6 hours

I'm only six years or so behind the times but I just played this for the first time a few weeks back. I've always been more of a Call of Duty and Brothers in Arms type of girl, but I did like MOH: Allied Assault. Just the right mix of full-blown WWII action with some great set pieces and some good old sneaky espionage too. Nice one.

Medal of Honor: Allied Assault - Spearhead (PC)

Time spent: 3 hours

More of the same. Hated the Bastogne bit but loved the rest of it.

Medal of Honor: Allied Assault - Breakthrough (PC)

Time spent: 3 hours

And even more of the same. Hated the 'protect the wounded soldiers' bit but loved the rest of it.

Achievements

Enchanted Arms (+ 175, 175 total)

Fable II Pub Games (+ 20, 20 total)

Toodle pip.

Just noticed that my XBL Gamerscore is a perfect 5000. Never seen such a nice, round number there before.

Thanks, Pub Games. Here's to the next 5000.

And yes, before you say anything, I'm aware that a measly 5000 isn't a patch on the astronomical Gamerscores attached to some of you folk. It's taken me since last December too which is just shocking... although I did spend a good third of that time without my 360 so I have an excuse.

I need to exercise my thumbs more methinks... especially since I've got such a massive backlog of recently-purchased 360 games yet to play. Fable II, SW Force Unleashed, Too Human, Viking, Blue Dragon, Burnout Revenge, Guitar Hero II... sheesh!

I need help to settle a bet. There's one of these riding on it.

Question: Including all sequels, spin-offs and expansion packs (but not multiple platform versions of the same game), are there more video games based on the Star Wars universe or are there more based on World War II?

It's proving difficult to get a definitive answer either way. Anyone got any answers, clues or reliable sources of info other than resorting to the work of bored teens, political spin-artists and C-list celebrity publicists?

Personally, I reckon Vader 'n' co might just have clinched it. There's an awful lot of Star Wars games out there...

Here we are, now lay the burden down; we're coming to the end of our road. Sorrowful yet glorious somehow; to be humming this one last ode. So calm and still... it wasn't all that bad, or was it now? Fulfilled... it doesn't only hurt to end it now.

Great. Now I've got depressing songs stuck in my head. Anyhoo, this blog is the final entry in this little series. No idea what I'm gonna write about now. Ah well.

Oh, and before anybody says anything, I'm aware Lost Odyssey wasn't released in the western world until 2008. But I've been using worldwide debut release dates (i.e. mainly Japan) all the way through this series - and as I'm a stickler for consistency that is what I will continue to do here.

2007

Game of the Year:

Mass Effect

(X360, 20/11/07)

It had to be, didn't it? The day Bioware disappoint me will be a sad day. Thankfully Mass Effect was every bit as good as I had hoped. Gripping space-opera storyline? Check. Interesting and mostly non-irritating characters? Yes. Beautifully realised futuristic locations? Aye. Fast-paced action, a fantastic dialogue system, believable voice acting and hours of optional side quests? All present. Near-endless opportunity for exploration? Well... alright. Unnecessarily fiddly inventory system? Ah. Alright, so Mass Effect isn't perfect, but it's probably as close to my own personal 'ideal game' as any game has come for a long time. My hard-ass fem-Shep is my favourite character creation in ages. I liked the Mako, too. It's so bouncy.



Honourable Mentions:

Hardware:

- Sony PSP Slim & Lite.

Other Stuff That May Have Happened...

UK No. 1 on My Birthday:

Rihanna feat. Jay-Z - "Umbrella" (video)

Eurovision Winner:

Marija Šerofović - "Moltiva" (Serbia) (video)

Best Albums:

Best Films:

SWAN!!!

Double back in time: 2006 - 2005 - 2004 - 2003 - 2002 - 2001 - 2000 - 1999 - 1998 - 1997 - 1996 - 1995 - 1994 - 1993 - 1992 - 1991 - 1990 - 1989 - 1988 - 1987

This month in review is brought to you by a head full of bad wiring, a file full of job apps and a box full of almost-free DVDs.

Gridlock's Month in Review: September 2008

The Damage: New Acquisitions

GameBoy

GameBoy Color

GameCube

Nintendo 64

PC

PlayStation

PlayStation 2

DVD

Phew. That's a lot of DVDs. About 2/3 were free, thanks both to a CeX voucher and my brother who has just got a job working for Blizzard (awesome) in Ireland and is currently downsizing his life into the back of a rather small car.

The On-Going Quest: Game Progress

Dungeon Siege (PC)

Time spent to date: 20 hours

For some reason this crashed and died on me at about 20 hours. Nothing I do (reinstalling, messing about with settings, yadda yadda) has any effect. Call it a jinx carried over from last month's blog, I call it shoddy craftsmanship. Not that I particularly care, mind. I've not been in much of a gaming mood these past couple of weeks and the last thing I want to do is spend any more time trying to get awkward games working.

Tomb Raider (PS)

Time spent to date: 15 hours

Now, a large proportion of those fifteen hours have been spent cursing, hitting walls and throwing pillows at anyone who dares interrupt my 47th attempt at clearing awkward jump no. 1,153. I started this on a bet - that I could actually finish a Tomb Raider game, something I have never done - and I don't intend to give up yet. There's a box of Tiger in it (my favourite). I've got a sinking feeling I should have picked one of the later games, though. My thumbs are screaming for analog controls.

The Final Victory: Completed Games

Heroes of Might & Magic (PC)

Time spent: 30 hours (ish)

I've never played the first HoMM before, despite spending many happy hours with HoMM II and III. So one afternoon, after filling out a particularly boring application for a forensic lab tech position I decided to go back to basics. I spent a while gazing at all the goodies in my HoMM Collector's Edition box (again), fiddled around a bit and got this little gem running nice and smoothly in a tiny little window. Oh... but it's fantastic. Simpler than its successors and not as refined, but still a good 'un. I played through the main campaigns as a Warlock (because it's supposedly the easiest cIass and I suck at strategy games) over about a week, then spent a fair few hours messing about with random maps, smiting evil as a Knight who sadly did not say "Ni!"

Odds 'n' Sods

Picture of the Month

A water feature to liven up even the wildest, most depressingly untended garden.

Question of the Month

From a disturbingly lengthy late-night interweb discussion:

How come anatomy diagrams are always circumcised?

Ciao.

I'm morally outraged. Maybe even feeling a little feminist today. Nah. Scratch that. It's not feminism, it's common friggin' sense.

Some teenage girl round my way got assaulted or something. She was half drunk and probably wearing the fashion equivalent of an Elastiplast and may or may not be a bucking bronco in human form. Of course there's the usual slut-burning brigade out and about insisting that it was entirely her own fault. Oh yeah. I completely agree. She should have left her vagina at home. It's her own fault for walking about with it in the first place. Right? Pfft.

There was something I read today about an Amnesty International poll from a while back that showed 26% of respondants thought a woman was responsible for being raped if she was wearing revealing clothing, 30% thought she was responsible if she was drunk and 22% thought she was responsible if she'd had many sexual partners.

Really? I shouldn't need to point out that doesn't matter if she was naked and tied to a pole with neon flashing arrows pointing towards her nether regions. It's still the total responsibility of the person who raped her. It is not acceptable to screw someone against their will. Blaming them for it afterwards is just pathetic and should be treated with the same sort of contempt as "The voices made me do it." Listen up, lads. Your tackle is not magical, detached from your body or controlled by drunk women with strange mental powers over the opposite sex. Nobody else but you controls where you put your trouser snake.*

*Unless, of course, your name is Kryten and you have a head shaped like a novelty condom and a detachable penis with a mind of it's own.

Right then. 2006.

2006

Game of the Year:

Okami

(PS2, JP: 20/04/06)

It's so pretty. So pretty that I forgot to pay any attention whatsoever to any other aspects of the game. It was several hours later that I realised the gameplay was brilliant too. Bloody marvellous and a great breath of fresh air. Okami could have resuscitated a somewhat flagging and increasingly bland game industry, could have launched a whole new breed of game that dared to do something a bit different. Instead it was criminally overlooked by the game-buying masses, despite being a bit of a critic's darling.

Honourable Mentions:

Hardware:

- Nintendo DS Lite.
- Sony PlayStation 3.
- Nintendo Wii.

Other Stuff That May Have Happened...

UK No. 1 on My Birthday:

Nelly Furtado - "Maneater" (video)

Eurovision Winner:

Lordi - "Hard Rock Hallelujah" (Finland) (finest cheese) (video)

Best Albums:

Best Films:

Go on. Say it with me. This... is... Sparta!

Double back in time: 2005 - 2004 - 2003 - 2002 - 2001 - 2000 - 1999 - 1998 - 1997 - 1996 - 1995 - 1994 - 1993 - 1992 - 1991 - 1990 - 1989 - 1988 - 1987

Imagine the most amazingly, mind-bogglingly, drool-inducingly hot person you desire.

Now imagine the just-about-barely-in-second-place amazingly hot person you desire.

Hot chocolate fudge cake with toffee sauce and vanilla ice cream tastes like watching them make out. Don't argue with me on this.

2005

Game of the Year:

Jade Empire

(Xbox, 12/04/05)

Any film that combines two of my oft-indulged guilty pleasures must be good. Bioware story-telling and chop-socky action? I'm sold. Jade Empire combines every scrap of cod-Chinese philosophy you've ever heard with fist-cracking, gravity-defying action worthy of Yuen Woo Ping and weaves it around a storyline of solid gold. It's all set against dreamy backdrops that invoke every Zhang Yimou movie I've ever seen, to the melodic strains of a smashing oriental soundtrack. Then Bioware manage to go one step further and throw in monkeys, nutty professors and bisexual (and schizophrenic) princesses. What more could one possibly need? Well, another 20 hours of gameplay wouldn't hurt... but hey, we can't have everything.

Honourable Mentions:

Hardware:

- Nintendo GameBoy Micro.
- Microsoft Xbox 360.

Other Stuff That May Have Happened...

UK No. 1 on My Birthday:

2Pac feat. Elton John - "Ghetto Gospel" (video)

Eurovision Winner:

Helena Paparizou - "My Number One" (Greece) (video)

Best Albums:

Best Films:

Not even Wensleydale...?

Double back in time: 2004 - 2003 - 2002 - 2001 - 2000 - 1999 - 1998 - 1997 - 1996 - 1995 - 1994 - 1993 - 1992 - 1991 - 1990 - 1989 - 1988 - 1987