What A Monday! A Friend finds out they have a relative stricken with cancer, another Friend may be losing a pet. And George Carlin. What do they have in common? I really care about so many people I've never met, and most likely never will. I was wondering why I took this pic Saturday. Seems appropriate now.

That being said, I've had some good stuff happening. Thought I'd Shine This Little Light of Mine. :) It's about golf, the car BOOM!, and my poker buddy Barry. That's a warning in advance, in case you don't give one of those Seven Words to read about it. :)

Got The Clubs
I found some golf clubs in the newspaper. They were only 45 bucks! That's a bargain, especially in U.S. currency. I bought them from this old dude. They're really worn down, but that's okay. They're in a new bag! I asked the old dude if he was upgrading. He said he already did. Two new hip replacements! :) It was kind of a sentimental purchase. When I can call someone else "old dude," I kind of get misty. I played with the "new" clubs this past weekend. My game didn't get any worse! Okay! Enough DETAILS! :)

Boomie Got Back
You've got to go back a blog or so for the background on this one. I was in a minor car accident. Short story, I got a check for the full amount of damages! Turns out, I can get the repairs done for a bit less than the original estimate. Means I can pocket a few bucks. It's all good. :)

This Dog Will Hunt!
Finally, my buddy Barry. He's my poker buddy, the one from my "Dogs Playing Poker" blog. If you're not familiar, just scroll down. :) Short story, Barry went into bad health, and quickly landed himself in a nursing home. Here's the good part.

When we had last heard from Barry, he was in rough shape, had a hard time finishing a sentence. Well, we got a call from Barry last week, and he's coming home! Turns out, the VA (Veteran's Administration) had put him on some medication. Those meds messed him up. Somebody, thank God, saw the cause and effect. They took him off that stuff! Now he's on his way back to living his own life, on his own terms, in his own House! How often does that happen? :) I can't wait to take his money again. :)

So that's some good stuff. We've always got to look for the good stuff. It's there.

:)
TG

I played golf last weekend. First time in 20 years, give or take a few years.

The first few times I played golf, I couldn't capture the nuances of the game. Like hitting the ball.

But it was different this time. Golf is an interesting game. There's so much to keep up with. Your swing, the aim, the knees. And hitting the ball. Not to mention your attire:

I didn't even wear a collared shirt! Oh the shame! :) But I was hitting the ball. Make no mistake, we didn't even keep score. This was funzies, an opportunity to throw my back out.

Why did I suddenly have the ability to hit the ball? I even hit it where I wanted it to go, for the most part. Is it a new SuperPower? (note to Stan Lee: Robert Downey Jr. respects my work)

I Have A Theory
Years after I gave up golf, I came across this golf video game on my computer. I liked it. I played it for hours, over years. I stopped playing when I got a new computer, new operating system. Game stopped working. But, I think I honed the mental skills to guide my body in a real game!

How's that for self realization? :) I can see the day when I can whack that dimpled sphere on a course with a jury of my peers! Did I mention it's exercise? Even with the cart. Don't get me started on the cart. Vroom Vroom! :)

So now I've got to buy some clubs. I'm looking for some used clubs in the newspaper. Here's the thing. We already have two sets of clubs we don't use. One is left handed, and the other is a ladies set. I might could learn to play left handed, but I'm not having a sex change operation! Though they are nice clubs. :) I'll get my own clubs. I'll hit the driving range, and try to find the Three Stooges House of Golf Attire!

Of course, I appreciate any golfing tips from My Friends. Well, almost any!

:)
TG

On the way to work today, I stopped in this new convenience store. They had some specials.

Nice place, friendly folks. But on my way out, I had an Incident.

I was parked at the front of the store. I pull out of the parking space, and start driving off the property. Suddenly, this utility truck starts to pull out of its space, right in front of me! I braked to a stop, then had to make a decision. Should I try to hit reverse, or hit the horn?

It happened so quick, I had to make a calculated decision in an instant. If I hit reverse, there might be a vehicle behind me! So I hit the horn. Honk, honk, HOOOOONNNNNNKKKKK! I rode that honker like the last note in the National Anthem. I rode it till he slammed into me. BOOM! Not the kind of thing that happens every day. Fortunately, I had my trusty digital camera:

He jumps out first, chest out, all bowed up with attitude. I got out, and the wind abandoned his sails. :) I took a look at the damage and said, "Yeah, we gotta call the cops."

So we go inside the store and I ask them to call the police, then we go back out. No damage to his vehicle. It had one of those Super Bumpers, the kind you can stand on if you need to. He said he looked back and didn't see anybody. I told him I hit my horn. He says, "Yeah, I heard it, but I kept backing up."

..........

This is one of the unknown variables in the grand narrative of life. The Idiot Factor. I made an assumption that, if the person pulling out in front of me heard me honking, he would stop. I knew he might not hear me, a chance I was willing to take. I figured he would have to be deaf not to hear me. And deaf people are probably much more careful on the road! But I didn't calculate The Idiot Factor. He heard it, he just didn't stop! And he accepted his mistake with an almost Chase Like kind of wisdom. :)

The cops showed up and we got the police report. Now I've got to deal with the insurance and repairs. One of the things that really ticks me off is, this was my pop's car. I try to take care of it. And the perpetrator of this crash was so casual about it. Probably because it was a company truck, with company insurance. And he's an idiot. Oh well, at least nobody got hurt physically.

Oh, I have to share with you a billboard I pass by every day on the way to work. Guess who it makes me think of? :)

And why did I stop at this new convenience store? They had a special on 12-packs of Diet Coke! AHHHHhhhhhhh!!!!!

:)

TG

One of my tamer vices is Diet Coke. It's to the point where I need to go a day without drinking this addictively sweet liquid. Just to prove it's not a threat to the notion that I'm not dependent on anything, great or small.

But today, it crossed the line. I found out how really dangerous Diet Coke can be.

I had a 12-pack in my car. It had gotten really hot in that rolling sauna. I took the 12-pack into the House, and started putting them in the fridge. I noticed the first two cans I picked up, the tops were swollen out, like the Tin Man with an allergic reaction. I looked more closely, and...

BOOM!

One of those suckers blew up in my face! It was like a big firecracker, sans gunpowder! Coming straight from the top to my chops! I went "AHHHHH," and dropped the other can from my other hand. It hit the floor and blew its top! It ran around the floor like a remote control car in the hands of a five year old not on Ritalin!

It messed my right eye up a little bit, and gave me a massive, dizzying headache. It also made me dizzy, and kind of dizzy. I started losing the use of my vocabulary! :) It also bestowed upon me a new nickname,

HEY MENTOS FACE!

And I will swear, under oath, I have never purchased a roll of Mentos. But I understand the importance of Mccarthyism in our society, and accept any insinuations as a badge of honor, Your Honor.

I took a shower, and popped a painkiller. Please don't ask me what I washed it down with! And I also mopped the floor. I was wondering what it would take to get me to do that!

:)
TG

For a couple of years, I've played poker with this great group of guys. A friendly game at one of the player's House, we'd rotate hosts.

Since a picture is allegedly worth a thousand words, this legendary painting might best reflect the level of camaraderie amongst us.

I think it's titled, "Dogs Playing Poker." Genius! :)

I got into the game through my late father, and his next door neighbor. We'd play maybe once a month. But it was always a marathon affair, lasting into the wee hours of the morning. The host provided the vittles, and someone might bring a dish. It was low stakes, ten dollar buy in.

I don't know why I've been writing in past tense! We still get together, just a lot less frequently. I moved from the neighborhood, and things change. But we're supposed to get together next Saturday. It's been a while. I'll have my ten bucks and a dish! :)

One of our players, he went through some bad health problems. He moved up north to live with his daughter, then moved into a nursing home! I never got to see him after his problems started. That's the thing about the games. I only know most of these guys through a poker table! My former neighbor got a call from Barry, and he was feeling really down. This is where I'd say "I could imagine," but I can't.

So Johnny said Barry's birthday is coming up this week, and we should send him something, from his poker buddies. The painting immediately flashed in my mind's eye! But with a twist. :) Johnny got together some pics, and I assembled this bit of fun:

We have more players than dogs, so I had to become a waiter! :) We're going to make him a card, and also make a larger, framed version. I hope it makes him smile.

The Greatest Prank of All Time???
Pranks are the most delicate forms of humor. Perhaps the most callous. Very controversial. Some might say pranks have no place in a decent society. Those are the ones who usually have the "kick me" signs on their collective backs. :)

But seriously, pranks are mind fields (intentional typo), and I try to steer clear of them, either as giver or recipient. But as an observer... Last week I watched the 40 Greatest Pranks Ever, or whatever. From Candid Camera to Punk'd, and other nonsense, the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Number One Prank came from a show called Scare Tactics, I think. This guy was assisting someone who was taking inventory of a laboratory. The laboratory, now abandoned, was used for experiments in mutating animal and human DNA. Get the picture? Without further adieu, this is what I like to call Rat Boy:

Rat Boy

This segment made me laugh, big time. Here's the secret with pranks: it's all about the recipient. You have to know someone well enough, that you know they will appreciate it. If you don't have confidence in that, don't attempt it!

Let's see, what else... I guess that's about it. Oh, I made the jumbo shrimp tonight, marinated, stuffed with baby mozzarella, and wrapped in bacon! It's the only part of this blog that gets the Miss Priss Seal of Approval!

:)
TG

A couple of weeks ago we had
the opening of Shrimp Season!

I'm not sure how long it lasts. We always have fresh shrimp. The point is, it's worth celebrating!

Why is this shrimp boat not out getting me shrimp?

It's the time of year when I start thinking about fried shrimp, boiled shrimp, shrimp gumbo, shrimp poboys, shrimp jambalya, shrimp kabobs... in other words, I become Forrest Gump's best friend! :) I found my new favorite fresh seafood outlet earlier this week.

That sign works for me! The Vietnamese community has had a profound impact on the seafood industry here. It's an interesting history...

The Great Catholic Crustacean Conspiracy Theory
When I was a reporter for a community newspaper in the mid 1980's, a fisherman called me to tell about a great conspiracy. Towards the end of the Vietnam War, many Vietnamese refugees came to the states. One group became a community in east Biloxi, aided by the Catholic diocese. Here's the conspiracy part.

Now, I'm being told this tale by a lifelong local shrimper and fisherman, in his home with two of his colleagues. The living room was dark, rays of sunlight sneaking through the drapes. He wanted to tell me about something that was threatening their livelihoods, their way of life.

He told about the assistance these refugees had received from the diocese, how they not only received housing, but were loaned shrimp boats to make a living. His contention was that those higher ups in the diocese, they were also businessmen looking to control the local seafood industry! The refugees had to sell their catch to the wholesalers, aka members of the diocese!

With the increased competition, and lower overhead for the refugees, this coalition could sell seafood at lower prices! And there's only so much seafood out there to catch. The local fishermen couldn't compete, and they didn't know what to do. So he called me. But I couldn't run that story. That's like 60 Minutes material. I tried to picture the headline: Catholics Conspire with Vietnamese To Lower Seafood Prices! :) I did write a story, but didn't dig too deep.

Now for the rest of the story
These Vietnamese families, they're a pretty tight knit community. Over the years, they saved their money, built and purchased their own boats, and eventually opened their own seafood markets! They took control of every step of the process! I don't know where those local fishermen I talked to are today, but I hope their families are doing just as well.

Back To The Shrimp...
I went in wanting a pound of medium shrimp. But the lady says, "we have special catch today..." and shows me these monsters!

How could I not get a pound of those? :) They're so big, doesn't seem right to call them shrimp! But please, don't call them prawns. What's the difference, you may ask. Maybe not you, but I did. Seems it depends on who you ask. Some say prawns are just big shrimp. Wrong. Others say prawns live in fresh or brackish water, while shrimp are purely saltwater critters. Maybe. And these biologist genus loving types say the prawn ekoskeleton is different from the shrimp around the abdomen. I'll take their word for it!

All I know is, a shrimp can kick a prawn's butt! If they even have one! Tail. Okay. Can kick their tail. Shrimp are for the common man, the worker, the backbone of this great country (fill in your country here)! Prawns are for the latté sipping, sushi eating bourgeois elite! Maybe I'm getting too political with this. :)

Anyhow, I froze the giant shrimp for a future special occasion. I used the mediums to make shrimp quesadillas, with tortillas chips and guacamole on the side. Here's the shrimp quesadillas recipe:

Shrimp Quesadillas


It was pretty good, though I did add sweet red bell pepper and crushed bacon to the filling! :) Here's the guacamole recipe:

Guacamole

That didn't turn out as good. I ordered a food processor later that night! I made the dinner last Monday, special for the House Finale episode. Thank goodness for margaritas!

:)
TG

My bro sent me some pics from long ago.
Family stuff, brings back dormant memories.

One of the pics was me sitting on a Shetland Pony.
That hoofed beast almost killed me!

Yeah, that's pudgy little TG. The fella behind me is my neighbor, Mr. Reese. They had the horses, and it was fun hanging around stables. The above pic is historic, because right after they let me take him for a short ride! Changed my life.

We were between our Houses, and Mr. Reese told me to kick him a little on the sides, like a "giddey-up." He giddied alright! He took off between the Houses, and into our back yard. He kept going faster, almost galloping, and I didn't know how to stop him! I was terrified!

He gets to the end of our back yard, where there's hedges and woods. He just stops. But I don't! I flew off that esquarian nightmare, and landed face first on the dry, unforgiving ground.

It bruised me up a bit. I never lost my love for horses, but I respect them a lot more! They're like dogs that can kick your butt whenever they want! :) I can't let this passage go by without referencing a song. This is "Mr. Would You Please Help My Pony," by WEEN. Warning: It's a sick song, but I find it funny. :)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=0CUNgnwC4zc

Let's See, What Else...
Has everyone seen Iron Man, The Movie? I caught it yesterday. Some call it the best superhero movie yet, but I'd put Spiderman 2 and Hellboy above it. But still, a great movie! Here's a little secret: When you go to see it, stay through the credits at the end! After the screen goes black, they have an extra scene! And it's worth sticking around for. :)

And finally, House episode one of the two part finale. I wasn't as impressed as most everyone else. It was a good episode, I just didn't wee in my pants over it. It seemed Amber became a focal point too fast. Maybe it's to serve as a catalyst to advance House's relationship with Wilson, but to what end? I don't know, maybe part two will hold some answers. But I doubt it!

:)
TG

My New Year's Resolution was to lose ten pounds. I didn't share it with anyone, it was a personal goal. Now I'm proud to report I've made some progress! I've gained ten more pounds!

I had kind of forgotten about the goal. Then I went to the doc a couple of weeks ago. I do that twice a year to make sure I have high blood pressure. And I want to tell you, it was quite a relief!

I was afraid that all my pants were shrinking. That can be very unsettling. I can deal with one or two pair shrinking, these things happen. But when they all start shrinking at once, that's a sign of a Pants Union! They're all acting together! They will have demands! Very intimidating. Fortunately it was just my waistline, spreading nasty rumors.

The only thing I could do was what I should have done in the first place. Buy something. I thought I was above it, I could apply my willpower and sense of conviction, change my habits and achieve my goals. What was I thinking?

You need a symbol for your resolve. Which becomes a crutch, then a symbol of your failure. A focus for your psychosis! :) Usually, this is an exercise device, like a dynoflex, or a treadmill, or a weight set. I almost purchased one of these future laundry holders and garage sale items.

But I thought it through this time. If I buy a piece of exercise equipment, what will I be expected to do? Exercise! A-HA! So I avoided that trap. Instead, I decided to address the quality of my nutrition, rather than my cardiovascular deficiencies. I bought my self a juicer! And not just any juicer, it's the...

Breville 800 Juice Fountain Elite!

This baby is the best domestic fruit and vegetable juicer on the market. For me, it's a symbol of my recommitment to lose weight. But for produce, it's The Terminator! It's got a 1,000 watt motor, running at up to 13.000 rpms in two speeds. The main components are constructed of single piece die cast stainless steel, and all components are dishwasher safe. Tim Allen of Tool Time would be proud of me right now! :)

I tried it out for the first time today. I'd like to have a moment of silence for the produce that lost their juice to fill my first pitcher...

This was my inaugural mix: 6 oranges, 2 lemons, 1 lime, 6 strawberries, 1 grapefruit, 5 thin slices of ginger root, and 2 grapples. Yes, grapples. I don't know, I should have read the package. "Looks like an apple, tastes like a grape!" I just wanted some apples. I gotta pay attention.

They weren't all sacrificed today. There's still quite a few in the fridge concentration camp. Does PETA have a division for plant life? Maybe they could start one for humans! (I'm rambling now) :)

My next stop will be a vegetable juice mix. I'm looking forward to it. This kicks the dynoflex's butt! Oh, and Miss Priss is happy with it. She got a new box!

:)
TG

My cat had a bad day today. Maybe not a bad day,
but at least a challenging one.

For those of you who haven't been introduced,
this is Miss Prissy.

She's my cat. She was my Dad's cat, now she's mine. She went from living in a cage in a shelter, to thinking she owns a place! That would be my place. ahem. She had an interesting day today.

It started out when I went up to the store to get a newspaper. I get back home, get out of the car, and here comes Miss Priss trotting down the street towards the House. I had to snap a picture!

You see that behind her, by the street sign? That's the neighbor's dog! And he's not chasing her. In fact, he started walking behind her, and she would stop and look back, and he would stop. He would kind of cock his head sideways and raise his ears. They have a relationship, and it's not adversarial! They seem to be buddies, at the least! :)

When she got back inside the House, it was obvious MP was... conflicted. I'm not against cross species relationships, I try to keep an open mind. But I made the mistake of asking questions, and I could quickly tell my inquiries were not welcomed!

So I dropped it. Later in the day, I decided to hang this large mirror on a wall. It's like three feet by four feet. It makes a room feel bigger. I hung it on the wall next to the bed. A few moments later, MP is sitting on the bed, meowing like crazy! I shrugged it off and continued making dinner.

Next thing I know, she's up on two paws, trying to get inside the mirror! :) She had never spent time with a mirror before. Freaked her out! I wish I had gotten a pic of that! She ran away and curled up into a little ball for a while. But she's starting to get over it.

Between her relationship with Fido, and the mirror incident, MP had a rough day. But when all is said and done, late at night, she's still out in the hood, being a prowlin' cool cat!

:)
TG

A blog of a friend of mine reminded me of this wonderful story. I hope I haven't told it before.

You know, the old coot who keeps retelling stories, not remembering or caring whether he told them before? Every family reunion has one! :) This story needs a little bit of background.

I dropped out of college to go to Colorado with my older bro. This was in 1982. Our destination was Stillpoint. This little community was what some folks might call a commune! The figurehead was Gia-Fu Feng. This dude was most noted for an english translation he made of the Tao Te Ching, and as a teacher of Taoism.

Okay, that's a lot to digest! :) At the time, I thought of it as an adventure. My bro was going no matter what, and I decided to tag along. We went by Greyhound Bus! There's lots of stories about the trip itself! When we got there, I quickly realized I wasn't in Mississippi anymore.

Here's a quick take on the scene: We were sleeping in a tent on the side of a mountain. There was a main house and small cabins around it. The routine included bedtime at sunset, and waking up a couple of hours before sunrise. In the early morning darkness, we would eat peanuts and talk... taoism, I guess.

The most interesting thing to me, was that most of the group was European. They were really into Gia-Fu! Most spoke english, but they would slip back into their native languages at the drop of a hat. I figured they must be talking about me! :) But still, there were all these European girls, many of them trapesing around naked, looking for enlightenment! :) Sadly, it was all too weird for me.

I only lasted three days! :) Got a Greyhound home! But my bro stuck around for about three years. He left the "compound" and got around more secular folk.

Here's the Funny Story
One of the routines at the compound was the Daily Hike. It was about 20 miles worth. I did it once, and puked. Well, my bro who stuck around, he took many hikes with the gang. And when there's that many people hiking, they break into groups, couples, or individuals. Kind of like worker ants.

Well this one particular hike, it was the beginning of Spring. In the mountains of Colorado, there was still snow on the ground, slowly melting. My bro is hiking along, and he happens to see a girl who has stepped off the trail.

She was squatting over a patch where the snow had melted, and flowers had bloomed from the barren ground.

He thought it was so lovely, so special, he walked over and kneeled down to appreciate the beauty with her. He looked down at the new life, and smiled back at her. She looked back alarmed, concerned and intimidated. She was taking a whiz!

:)
TG