happy holidays to my friends here at gamespot. I know i have dissappeared yet again. The ever elsuive hellcat. I have been trying to focus on real life adventures and doing my schooling and trying to enjoy life. Succeeding? Right now.. .not really. School is goin ok, but life just sucks eggs. The only good thing thus far is that my kids had a wonderful christmas. I am thankful for that, so dont get me wrong. But right now.. life just seems to keep stomping on my throat and pretty soon my necks gonna break. Oh another thing that sucks is that I cant afford my anti depressant meds so thats probably why im being stupid right now and depressed. Doesnt help that some people are also just big ugly jerks.

Anyways, happy flippin holidays to yall, I hope your all better off then I am.

Hello again my friends,

I have been out of the hospital for about a week now, but my hand is messed up from the iv. It hurts a lot. Apparently it will for a few months.... yaaaaaaay. Flavitis i believe they called it. But at least I am home!

We got dumped with snow yesterday and its still comin down today. So much in fact that a tree had snapped in half, hit my old van (thankfully only removed the bug shield) and landed between our metal shed and my van.... dad is pretty happy it was the van and not his shed. lol. We have more trees that look like they could go at any time. Not so awesome- my kids are sad cause I wont let em play outside till the snow comes off the tops of the trees - but its starting to. They got a lot of time outside yesterday. They had so much fun!

I started school monday. Lets see if I can stay focused on it.

hello all my friends

I am currently in the hospital. It sucks. I will be here for a few days. Just figured id let yall know so you wouldnt think me dead.

luff yous all.

oh and gamespot doesnt load right for some reason here so i cant get on it really and post much. :( or else i would.

Today brings us to a cold and windy, and zomg its snow in Wisconsin kinda day. However, I am not letting that dampen my spirits. You see, today, I am supposed to be getting better internet. Sometime today. I am not too sure when... but it is to be today. This rocks, because I will no longer have a cap on my useage - unlimited baby, and even though it is supposed to be the same speed (512), it will most likely be much faster. Cause what im running now can be slower then dial up at times... if it wants to work at all. Also, as opposed to paying 60 bux a month, it is only going to be 30 bux a month. 1/2 price for better service? I think so. *nods*

Oh im also excited for halloween. I will be goin out with my friend and her boyfriend (who ill be meeting for the first time... lets see if he can put up with me and her together... cause we are terrible). And I will be dressing as a Nymph (which is a cooler word basically for fairy and fits the description a lil better). We will be goin to 2 casinos (cause they are offering free money when you walk in the door if you dress up... so why not?!) and one is having a big party with a band. Then we will be going to 2 bars... if there is enough time in our day/night. Thank god we have a designated driver. Cause I know I wont be staying sober.

Then Sunday its trick or treating with my lil ones :).

Well, of course, something health related has to happen to me and my family. Go figure.

Apparently dad has a blood clot in his lower intestines, so he has to have emergency surgery to remove it this morning. They dont tell anyone of course, so none of my aunts know, or uncles, or my brothers even. Just me. And if i say anything to anyone of course I get yelled at. Well people should know, i think, but whatever. I can post it here... cause none of my relatives will see it and my parents wont either. so :p @ them. Yay for blogs.

OH and I was gonna say too that in about 2 weeks, if my loan money can be restored (which they think it should be with no problem) then I will be taking my schooling back up. No more military scholarship tho cause i am no longer a spouse, and he also has been discharged, so yea. So that bites, but all well. Wish I knew how to get a scholarship :| im not so very good at figuring that out and applying for them. :(, and especially right now since im sickly. ... Yes... sickly still. Its getting worse, which means i should be better soon... i flippin hope.

Well the other day I went to the dr. again, and they came to the conclusion i have a severe sinus infection. It sucks. Makes me dizzy ect. So I have just kinda been resting and tryin to get better and taking my meds. My dr also perscribed an antidepressant for me finally. It was my first time at this clinic, and thus far I like it, they didnt really jerk me around or anything. Its nice. Well I may post a lil in ot.. or just zone out on the tv.

So thanks to a good friend of mine, I will now be getting better internet. They have assisted me in raising the cash to cancel the contract, thus making it possible to be able to afford to get the other service that is 1/2 the price, better quality, and unlimited! Im happy. Indeed I am! No more having to go to the coffee shop after hours sitting in my car in -50 f weather, shivvering, dying, hypothermic - just to get some school work done! *dances*

... *dances!*..

So apparently I am 16 again. ... Really. I have a cerfew of midnight. ... wtf. I am 26 years old... and have a cerfew, or else i get kicked out of the house. ... You know... its rediculous. Nothing in this world makes me more angry than this bullcrap my parents are putting me through. I love them but my god do i wish they would just back off. They arent the only ones going through things right now.

Today..i just have been goin through my music collection and ripping my cds, so as if they are scratched i can recover them. I have found out there are many that have been damaged and i cant save, and also, i am missing many. :(.

I think i will play either fable 2 or call of juarez tonight. *sighs* :(

I quit my job. I had to tho. My mom hgoin up to duluth for radiation 5 days out of the week sort of demand more of my attention, and grave shift on top of that is one of the biggest reasons. Another big/good reason is that im always sleeping when my girls are awake and vice versa. Its again, hard. that and they are all jerks.

The wtf part of this story, is that someone broke into my house or just let someone in, and took my parents Evil Kenivel Collectors Edition bmx bike. Its pricy. I found it tho. Cause im not stupid.

ok im super tired and falling asleep right now but ill be round tomorrow. :wink: like yall wanna know.

When your parents tell you at the very last second they are going to be going for the weekend, and you have to work, and you cant get ahold of anyone to watch your kids. It just sucks. Why must they add this stress to me? Why?

Anyways, aside from my parents doing the obviously just stated, I had a regular day off the other day. I dont even know what day it was anymore lol. But it was nice. I went to my bro Andy's, his brother was there, and then our old classmate and good friend and awesome guitar player showed up. It was a great time. I had a blast. I needed it really, I was getting super depressed and really was starting to just not care about important things anymore. But they made me laugh the whole night, to the point of where I was almost throwing up. It rocked.

So yay good times!