Pizza is now a Vegetable

From the Article/Editorial:

On Tuesday, Congress decided that pizza is a vegetable. I have to imagine that this news instilled confusion in many Americans, as many Americans are (a) familiar with pizza, (b) familiar with vegetables and (c) sane.

But, to provide specifics that will in no way dispel your lingering thoughts that we are governed by morons but at least allow you some anthropological insight into how a group of morons who have been given permission to sit in a fancy room in Washington, D.C., and grunt at each other actually think, here is their thinking: Pizza is a vegetable for the purposes of determining what goes into public school lunches by virtue of the fact that pizza traditionally includes a schmear of tomato paste. (Botanically speaking, tomatoes are actually fruit, but we're going to have to just let that slide.)

At any rate, you may still be wondering how it came to pass that Congress arrived at the conclusion that pizza could count as a serving of vegetables. Wonder no more! Congress was guided along this path by lobbyists. And lobbyists can do all sorts of things, by magic! (Except provide nutritious lunches for children.)

From the Associated Press:

The final version of a spending bill released late Monday would unravel school lunch standards the Agriculture Department proposed earlier this year. These include limiting the use of potatoes on the lunch line, putting new restrictions on sodium and boosting the use of whole grains. The legislation would block or delay all of those efforts.

The bill also would allow tomato paste on pizzas to be counted as a vegetable, as it is now. USDA had wanted to only count a half-cup of tomato paste or more as a vegetable, and a serving of pizza has less than that.

Nutritionists say the whole effort is reminiscent of the Reagan administration's much-ridiculed attempt 30 years ago to classify ketchup as a vegetable to cut costs. This time around, food companies that produce frozen pizzas for schools, the salt industry and potato growers requested the changes and lobbied Congress.

Best Part of Article:

Here's a fun fact! If a child incorrectly identifies "pizza" as a "vegetable" on a standardized test, there's an entirely different group of lobbyists who will argue that public school teachers have failed America's children.

-

Full Article/Editorial: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/16/pizza-vegetable-school-lunches-lobbyists_n_1098029.html

The funny part is a tomato is actually a fruit.

The funny part is a tomato is actually a fruit.

junglist101

so ... in order to be healthy i need to eat 5-9 slices ofpizza on top of my fruit meat and grain reqs? looks like congress is trying to get me to increase my caloric intake by 1800 calories a day....

It's tehm evil Pizza lobbists! Teh evil masterminds behind large pizza companies want to corrupt the law in order to corrupt them children!

so ... in order to be healthy i need to eat 5-9 slices ofpizza on top of my fruit meat and grain reqs? looks like congress is trying to get me to increase my caloric intake by 1800 calories a day....

surrealnumber5

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"]

so ... in order to be healthy i need to eat 5-9 slices ofpizza on top of my fruit meat and grain reqs? looks like congress is trying to get me to increase my caloric intake by 1800 calories a day....

Planet_Pluto

Best goddamn vegetable known to man.

Best goddamn vegetable known to man.

supa_badman

I've been saying that forever. Carrot cake should be a vegetable too!CammiTac

They're not classifying pizza as a vegetable, they're classifying the tomato paste in it as a vegetable. Although there isn't nearly enough of it to really count for anything, it still makes a world of difference as far as how stupid this is. As far as the fruit vs. vegetable thing, it's technically a fruit, but used as a vegetable in cooking.

But it's a great reminder of why we're 15 trillion in debt and sinking deeper every day. I mean, the decisions about this stuff couldn't possibly be left up to the parents and the local school boards. Oh no, this needs to be handled at the federal level.

I mean, the decisions about this stuff couldn't possibly be left up to the parents and the local school boards. Oh no, this needs to be handled at the federal level.

Jackc8

Parents raise their children.... but the teacher knows better.

The teacher spends weeks and months with the children.... but the district knows better.

The district spends years with the children and understands the community.... but the state knows better.

The states spends (in some cases) a lifetime with the children (into their adulthood) ..... but the feds know better.

They're not ****fying pizza as a vegetable, they're ****fying the tomato paste in it as a vegetable. Although there isn't nearly enough of it to really count for anything, it still makes a world of difference as far as how stupid this is. As far as the fruit vs. vegetable thing, it's technically a fruit, but used as a vegetable in cooking.

But it's a great reminder of why we're 15 trillion in debt and sinking deeper every day. I mean, the decisions about this stuff couldn't possibly be left up to the parents and the local school boards. Oh no, this needs to be handled at the federal level.

Jackc8

lol

Oh, America....

This is so cute :3

Should a milk chocolate bar count as dairy?

Should a milk chocolate bar count as dairy?

Planet_Pluto

Should a milk chocolate bar count as dairy?

Planet_Pluto

Wow just wow, I mean really Congress? I am glad to see my tax dollars are going to valuable things that can better the country.:roll:

[QUOTE="Planet_Pluto"]

Should a milk chocolate bar count as dairy?

Engrish_Major

[QUOTE="Planet_Pluto"]

Should a milk chocolate bar count as dairy?

surrealnumber5

Wow just wow, I mean really Congress? I am glad to see my tax dollars are going to valuable things that can better the country.:roll:

PunkAntiHero

Who knew that I could get 8 servings of vegetables from a large pizza! :o I'm going to start this diet right away.

They must be talking about a supreme pizza, because my meat lovers aint no dang vegetableNiKva

The funny part is a tomato is actually a fruit.

junglist101

[QUOTE="Planet_Pluto"]

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"]

so ... in order to be healthy i need to eat 5-9 slices ofpizza on top of my fruit meat and grain reqs? looks like congress is trying to get me to increase my caloric intake by 1800 calories a day....

surrealnumber5

can i get a packet of pizza seeds to grow in my garden? :):lol: :P

The Daily Show did a pretty good bit on this last night. Stewart was showing how Congress will argue over anything but "the one thing they can agree on...is that pizza is a vegetable". JML897

I hope no one pulls the plug on Pizza...I still want it to live.spazzx625

[QUOTE="spazzx625"]I hope no one pulls the plug on Pizza...I still want it to live.surrealnumber5

It's tehm evil Pizza lobbists! Teh evil masterminds behind large pizza companies want to corrupt the law in order to corrupt them children!

Masculus

So let me get this straight, childhood obeseity and obeseity in general is on the rise in the United States, and Congress wants to make the claim that a processed sauce that has little nutrional value on a processed, sugary, refined grain slab, topped with processed chese is acceptable to serve at lunch because the processed sauce is a "vegetable"? I would love to serve Congress that terrible processed pizza every day for thirteen plus years for one meal a day, and see how much they enjoy it and how healthy they stay. It isn't right to feed our children thirteen years worth of garbage. We should be serving them actual vegetables and actual fruit, not fries, pizza, and processed grabage. I'm very curious to see how attention spans, grades, diabetes, and childhood obeseity are affected if we switched our lunch programs to natural and healthy food. I'm going to take a while stab that attention spans, and grades would increase while diabetes and childhood obeseity would decrease.

So let me get this straight, childhood obeseity and obeseity in general is on the rise in the United States, and Congress wants to make the claim that a processed sauce that has little nutrional value on a processed, sugary, refined grain slab, topped with processed chese is acceptable to serve at lunch because the processed sauce is a "vegetable"? I would love to serve Congress that terrible processed pizza every day for thirteen plus years for one meal a day, and see how much they enjoy it and how healthy they stay. It isn't right to feed our children thirteen years worth of garbage. We should be serving them actual vegetables and actual fruit, not fries, pizza, and processed grabage. I'm very curious to see how attention spans, grades, diabetes, and childhood obeseity are affected if we switched our lunch programs to natural and healthy food. I'm going to take a while stab that attention spans, and grades would increase while diabetes and childhood obeseity would decrease.

DarkGamer007

Not that it would happen, but I'd love to see Mrs. Obama be asked a question about this by a reporter during one of her many "Let's Move" presentations.

Planet_Pluto

Not that it would happen, but I'd love to see Mrs. Obama be asked a question about this by a reporter during one of her many "Let's Move" presentations.Planet_Pluto

I'd love to see this happen too. Seeing her attempt to put a diplomatic spin on it would be amusing. I love pizza, but classifying it as a vegetable is just idiotic.

So let me get this straight, childhood obeseity and obeseity in general is on the rise in the United States, and Congress wants to make the claim that a processed sauce that has little nutrional value on a processed, sugary, refined grain slab, topped with processed chese is acceptable to serve at lunch because the processed sauce is a "vegetable"? I would love to serve Congress that terrible processed pizza every day for thirteen plus years for one meal a day, and see how much they enjoy it and how healthy they stay. It isn't right to feed our children thirteen years worth of garbage. We should be serving them actual vegetables and actual fruit, not fries, pizza, and processed grabage. I'm very curious to see how attention spans, grades, diabetes, and childhood obeseity are affected if we switched our lunch programs to natural and healthy food. I'm going to take a while stab that attention spans, and grades would increase while diabetes and childhood obeseity would decrease.

DarkGamer007

[QUOTE="Planet_Pluto"]

Not that it would happen, but I'd love to see Mrs. Obama be asked a question about this by a reporter during one of her many "Let's Move" presentations.

Engrish_Major

[QUOTE="DarkGamer007"]

So let me get this straight, childhood obeseity and obeseity in general is on the rise in the United States, and Congress wants to make the claim that a processed sauce that has little nutrional value on a processed, sugary, refined grain slab, topped with processed chese is acceptable to serve at lunch because the processed sauce is a "vegetable"? I would love to serve Congress that terrible processed pizza every day for thirteen plus years for one meal a day, and see how much they enjoy it and how healthy they stay. It isn't right to feed our children thirteen years worth of garbage. We should be serving them actual vegetables and actual fruit, not fries, pizza, and processed grabage. I'm very curious to see how attention spans, grades, diabetes, and childhood obeseity are affected if we switched our lunch programs to natural and healthy food. I'm going to take a while stab that attention spans, and grades would increase while diabetes and childhood obeseity would decrease.

Jandurin

stop the presses! :P i dont get why people give her such an ear, but whatever good for her and those that like her.

surrealnumber5

I always suspected. :P

No in all honesty this is rather dumb.

[QUOTE="surrealnumber5"]

stop the presses! :P i dont get why people give her such an ear, but whatever good for her and those that like her.

Engrish_Major