Post your best jokes here. I'll rate them out of 10.

Go on, make me laugh as hard as you possibly can. Whether it's something that happened to you in real life, or just a joke you saw on the Internet. Give it your best shot and I'll rate it out of 10.

I've got a joke: Why does Jesus hate hockey?

He's afraid of getting nailed to the boards. :P

I've got a joke: Why does Jesus hate hockey?

He's afraid of getting nailed to the boards. :P

dracula_16

I've got a joke: Why does Jesus hate hockey?

He's afraid of getting nailed to the boards. :P

dracula_16

2.7/10

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this a joke?" I think I've told this one here like 50 times. I'm lazy to steal different ones.cd_rom

1.6/10

(Probably just because I didn't get it...)

Two men walked into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've seen it.

Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player??

A hockey player showers after 3 periods.

Two men walked into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've seen it.

Calvin079

3.3/10 - A mild chuckle.

Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player??

A hockey player showers after 3 periods.

Chrypt22

3.2/10

I remember another. What do you call a psychic midge that escaped from prison? A small, medium at large.cd_rom

2.1 / 10

Just in anticipation, of course.

Here's a good one:

10 signs you're an Internet geek
10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.

9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"

8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food.

6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.

5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.

4. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife" and refer to your children as "client applications".

3. At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server".

2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so colon-right parentheses!"

And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:

1. Two Words: "Pizza's Here!"

kdawg88

4.6/10

Well there's no secret that the best thing about secrets is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to your secret collection of secrets, secretly..

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face and sharpen the old straight edge while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room."

She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that."

The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference." She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."

1. A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender looks at him and says "Pardon me sir, are you a piece of string?" The string nods and sits at the bar. A second piece of string walks in and the bartender says "Are you a piece of string too?" The string nods and sits at the bar as well. A few hours later after both strings have left a third piece of string comes in, but he looks really messed up. Parts of him are sticking out at odd angles and he can barely walk. He stumbles to the bar and the bartender looks at him and says "Pardon me sir, but are you a piece of string?" The string looks at him and says...
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"No I'm afraid not."

2. What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
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WATAAAAA!

Why did the boy fall off his bike?

Because his grandma threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

how does bob marley like his donuts?

with jam in

There was once a man called Richard Bates.He had a son,a wife and a daughter.He wanted to admit his son in Harvard.

So,he went to meet the Principal with his family.He said,"Hello,as you know,I am here to get my son admitted in this big and well reputated school.I am Mister Bates,this is Missus Bates,this is miss Bates and this is master bates!"

1. A piece of string walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender looks at him and says "Pardon me sir, are you a piece of string?" The string nods and sits at the bar. A second piece of string walks in and the bartender says "Are you a piece of string too?" The string nods and sits at the bar as well. A few hours later after both strings have left a third piece of string comes in, but he looks really messed up. Parts of him are sticking out at odd angles and he can barely walk. He stumbles to the bar and the bartender looks at him and says "Pardon me sir, but are you a piece of string?" The string looks at him and says...
.
.
.
.

"No I'm afraid not."

2. What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
.
.
.
.
.

WATAAAAA!

Film-Guy

the Bruce Lee joke was pretty funny. :D

Best joke EVAR.

What is green and looks like a bucket?

A green bucket!

What is red and looks like a bucket?

A green bucket in disguise.

[QUOTE="XD4NTESINF3RNOX"]A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's destroying his family did I do it right? :P Sigh_han

The only one that made me laugh :lol:

[QUOTE="XD4NTESINF3RNOX"]A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's destroying his family did I do it right? :P Sigh_han

The only one that made me laugh :lol:

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's destroying his family did I do it right? :P XD4NTESINF3RNOX

Why did the boy fall off his bike?

Because his grandma threw a fridge at him.

-------

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Blake_H15

first one was funny

Two peanuts were walking down a road. One was assulted.

[spoiler] assulted? a salted? get it? [/spoiler]

TC forgot he was supposed to be rating jokes? :|jalexbrown

There were some army soldiers stationed in Korea. All of them liked going to the brothels in Seoul except for one soldier. He was too shy to talk to the prostitutes so he came up with a plan. He went to the red light district and soon enough a prostitute came up to him and asked him, "Hello sir, what is your name?". He answered "Rick Peanus". The prostitute said "Lick Peanus?" and the soldier replied "Yes how much?"

A rabbi and a catholic priest are walking down the street when they see a boy walking across the road. The priest says "hey, let's screw him". The rabbi asks "out of what?" ... (no offense intended :D ) F1_2004

Hahah, a catholic and jewish joke at once.

I have a Micheal Jackson joke, can't really talk about it anymore since the guy died and everything. I heard it at work.

How do you know when it's bed time at Micheal Jackson's Neverland ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth ducks.

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bad/10