Why Nice Guys Finish Last

[QUOTE="Video_Game_King"][QUOTE="The_Mac_Daddy"][QUOTE="Video_Game_King"][QUOTE="The_Mac_Daddy"]

[QUOTE="Video_Game_King"]Yea, but if you become a jerk/confident, the girl's gonna say she doesn't want to be with you. The universe always finds a way to screw you over.clyde46

You don't have to be a jerk.. it's just that a lot of jerks possess a similar attutude. You can have that quality about yourself without being a jerk in nature.

What is this quality? Confidence? You're gonna need more than confidence. Women often say, "Oh, sorry, but I'm looking for more in a man." And to quote a cartoon:

Nice gets their attention, but mean puts the hook in 'em.Mandy

I think you mis-interpret what they mean by confidence. You can be confident but boring at the same time. You just got to know how to be with women.. i can't really explain it through text.

Basically.. grow some balls and BE A MAN!!

I've tried growing some balls, but that backfired horribly. (I am assuming that by "grow some balls" you mean "become assertive and confident".)

Ditto, last time I tried it I ened up with a slap.:|

Last time I tried that, my life become much, much worse.

[QUOTE="mrbojangles25"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

[QUOTE="Video_Game_King"]Yea, but if you become a jerk/confident, the girl's gonna say she doesn't want to be with you. The universe always finds a way to screw you over.Sajedene

OMG. How many times do we have to say (even the article) that it doesnt mean you become a jerk.

sorry but real-life examples disagree. If you are a jerk, the hot ladies will come flocking. When are women going to grow up?

Oh please - so many guys I know cry "but I'm a nice guy!" But they all can and have been jerks! Heck, being in this forum is proof of that. A girl breaks their heart and goes to the other guy - he automatically becomes a jerk in their eyes. A girl complains about a guy in their relationship - the guy they say it too assumes oh they're definitely a jerk.

You can be a saint of a man and do all those things but ask your gf's friends and I can guarantee you she has and always will have something to complain about.

When will boys become men?

I wasnt generalizing, I can give you numerous, specific examples:

1. My roommate constantly threatened to break up with his girlfriend if she didnt do what he said. She should have called his bluff, but she didnt.

2. A guy in my major made his girlfriend pay for all his drinks at the bars, all the time. She would complain and stuff, but she always gave in. I dont feel the guy should always buy his date stuff, but it should be 50:50 imo.

3. Look at all the jerky celebrities out there, then look at their girlfriends.

The list goes on.

As for having something to complain about, well...duh. Its called a relationship, it is a work in progress, so there is always something to complain about. This applies to both sides.

Listen, I am not saying you have to be a jerk to be attractive to a girl. I am just saying that jerks always seem to have cute girlfriends, so maybe there are some characteristics girls are attracted to, hence the reason I think young ladies get off on a bit of suffering.

[QUOTE="The_Mac_Daddy"][QUOTE="Video_Game_King"][QUOTE="The_Mac_Daddy"]

[QUOTE="Video_Game_King"]Yea, but if you become a jerk/confident, the girl's gonna say she doesn't want to be with you. The universe always finds a way to screw you over.Video_Game_King

You don't have to be a jerk.. it's just that a lot of jerks possess a similar attutude. You can have that quality about yourself without being a jerk in nature.

What is this quality? Confidence? You're gonna need more than confidence. Women often say, "Oh, sorry, but I'm looking for more in a man." And to quote a cartoon:

Nice gets their attention, but mean puts the hook in 'em.Mandy

I think you mis-interpret what they mean by confidence. You can be confident but boring at the same time. You just got to know how to be with women.. i can't really explain it through text.

Basically.. grow some balls and BE A MAN!!

I've tried growing some balls, but that backfired horribly. (I am assuming that by "grow some balls" you mean "become assertive and confident".)

As have I. I really don't understand why girls don't like nice guys, it doesn't make sense. I could be a total **** but then I would just be...a total ****

Honestly, I'm a nice guy naturally; it's the way I act around my friends and it's the way I act around girls. If I have to change my personality for when I'm with a girl...I suppose i'll have to become homosexual.

Soo....Video_Game_King....whatcha up to tonight ;)

[QUOTE="clyde46"] you been on the end of "jerk" treatment before? Sajedene

Not really ... I'm more upset at the fact that so many guys cant accept the reality of this article because they think that their failed relationships or lack thereoff are because of the women who refuse to pay attention to them.

I love the part when one of them HAD to put "hot women" - its like, have they not thought of becoming more confident in themselves? Not using movies and videogames as references to real life (that just SCREAMS loser right there). Or maybe their standards for women are too high? I mean lets be honest - your phyisical attributes do play a factor here. If one is going after a 9 when they are a 5 - then they have to play it right - and if they already come off as desperate at the very beginning then it really will never happen.

The girls I like don't want to date me cause I give off the nice guy/friend vibe. It does suck.

[QUOTE="clyde46"][QUOTE="Video_Game_King"][QUOTE="The_Mac_Daddy"][QUOTE="Video_Game_King"][QUOTE="The_Mac_Daddy"]

[QUOTE="Video_Game_King"]Yea, but if you become a jerk/confident, the girl's gonna say she doesn't want to be with you. The universe always finds a way to screw you over.Video_Game_King

You don't have to be a jerk.. it's just that a lot of jerks possess a similar attutude. You can have that quality about yourself without being a jerk in nature.

What is this quality? Confidence? You're gonna need more than confidence. Women often say, "Oh, sorry, but I'm looking for more in a man." And to quote a cartoon:

Nice gets their attention, but mean puts the hook in 'em.Mandy

I think you mis-interpret what they mean by confidence. You can be confident but boring at the same time. You just got to know how to be with women.. i can't really explain it through text.

Basically.. grow some balls and BE A MAN!!

I've tried growing some balls, but that backfired horribly. (I am assuming that by "grow some balls" you mean "become assertive and confident".)

Ditto, last time I tried it I ened up with a slap.:|

Last time I tried that, my life become much, much worse.

Seems to me like the both of you assumed aggressive and confident = act like a jerk.

You guys have much to learn ... but its not going to happen sitting in front of the computer b****ing about why the world is against you here on gamespot.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="mrbojangles25"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

[QUOTE="Video_Game_King"]Yea, but if you become a jerk/confident, the girl's gonna say she doesn't want to be with you. The universe always finds a way to screw you over.clyde46

OMG. How many times do we have to say (even the article) that it doesnt mean you become a jerk.

sorry but real-life examples disagree. If you are a jerk, the hot ladies will come flocking. When are women going to grow up?

Oh please - so many guys I know cry "but I'm a nice guy!" But they all can and have been jerks! Heck, being in this forum is proof of that. A girl breaks their heart and goes to the other guy - he automatically becomes a jerk in their eyes. A girl complains about a guy in their relationship - the guy they say it too assumes oh they're definitely a jerk.

You can be a saint of a man and do all those things but ask your gf's friends and I can guarantee you she has and always will have something to complain about.

When will boys become men?

you seem bitter, you been on the end of "jerk" treatment before?

you see, thats another problem I have with the "jerk treatment"...guys, specifically the nice guys, tend to pay for it when the girl finally wisens up.

As have I. I really don't understand why girls don't like nice guys, it doesn't make sense. I could be a total **** but then I would just be...a total ****

Honestly, I'm a nice guy naturally; it's the way I act around my friends and it's the way I act around girls. If I have to change my personality for when I'm with a girl...I suppose i'll have to become homosexual.

Soo....Video_Game_King....whatcha up to tonight ;)

chrisrooR

More often than not, you'll have to change your personality to get a girl. One rule of relationships: no girl likes you. They always like the other guy, even if he's incredibly like you.

[QUOTE="chrisrooR"]

As have I. I really don't understand why girls don't like nice guys, it doesn't make sense. I could be a total **** but then I would just be...a total ****

Honestly, I'm a nice guy naturally; it's the way I act around my friends and it's the way I act around girls. If I have to change my personality for when I'm with a girl...I suppose i'll have to become homosexual.

Soo....Video_Game_King....whatcha up to tonight ;)

Video_Game_King

More often than not, you'll have to change your personality to get a girl. One rule of relationships: no girl likes you. They always like the other guy, even if he's incredibly like you.

That's bull****. I just want to be myself! :cry:

Seems to me like the both of you assumed aggressive and confident = act like a jerk.

You guys have much to learn ... but its not going to happen sitting in front of the computer b****ing about why the world is against you here on gamespot.

Sajedene

No, from my side, it was aggressive, assertive and confident. But even if it was jerk from another perspective, the situation deserved it. Things became much, much worse and the "world against me" view was reinforced.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"]

Seems to me like the both of you assumed aggressive and confident = act like a jerk.

You guys have much to learn ... but its not going to happen sitting in front of the computer b****ing about why the world is against you here on gamespot.

Video_Game_King

No, from my side, it was aggressive, assertive and confident. But even if it was jerk from another perspective, the situation deserved it. Things became much, much worse and the "world against me" view was reinforced.

Agreed. Read my new blog post, It heavily relates to this subject.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="mrbojangles25"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

[QUOTE="Video_Game_King"]Yea, but if you become a jerk/confident, the girl's gonna say she doesn't want to be with you. The universe always finds a way to screw you over.mrbojangles25

OMG. How many times do we have to say (even the article) that it doesnt mean you become a jerk.

sorry but real-life examples disagree. If you are a jerk, the hot ladies will come flocking. When are women going to grow up?

Oh please - so many guys I know cry "but I'm a nice guy!" But they all can and have been jerks! Heck, being in this forum is proof of that. A girl breaks their heart and goes to the other guy - he automatically becomes a jerk in their eyes. A girl complains about a guy in their relationship - the guy they say it too assumes oh they're definitely a jerk.

You can be a saint of a man and do all those things but ask your gf's friends and I can guarantee you she has and always will have something to complain about.

When will boys become men?

I wasnt generalizing, I can give you numerous, specific examples:

1. My roommate constantly threatened to break up with his girlfriend if she didnt do what he said. She should have called his bluff, but she didnt.

2. A guy in my major made his girlfriend pay for all his drinks at the bars, all the time. She would complain and stuff, but she always gave in. I dont feel the guy should always buy his date stuff, but it should be 50:50 imo.

3. Look at all the jerky celebrities out there, then look at their girlfriends.

The list goes on.

As for having something to complain about, well...duh. Its called a relationship, it is a work in progress, so there is always something to complain about. This applies to both sides.

Listen, I am not saying you have to be a jerk to be attractive to a girl. I am just saying that jerks always seem to have cute girlfriends, so maybe there are some characteristics girls are attracted to, hence the reason I think young ladies get off on a bit of suffering.

Actually, I'm not going to lie.. I was kind of like that with my last girlfriend. I wasn't afraid to break up with her and she knew it... it basically put me in control and i had her wrapped around my finger. I mean, I wouldn't want to break up or anything, but I wouldn't be timid to do it. I just don't like to take any crap in relationships..

It's not really being a jerk... it's just being fair to yourself. Don't ever get whipped.

[QUOTE="Video_Game_King"][QUOTE="chrisrooR"]

As have I. I really don't understand why girls don't like nice guys, it doesn't make sense. I could be a total **** but then I would just be...a total ****

Honestly, I'm a nice guy naturally; it's the way I act around my friends and it's the way I act around girls. If I have to change my personality for when I'm with a girl...I suppose i'll have to become homosexual.

Soo....Video_Game_King....whatcha up to tonight ;)

chrisrooR

More often than not, you'll have to change your personality to get a girl. One rule of relationships: no girl likes you. They always like the other guy, even if he's incredibly like you.

That's bull****. I just want to be myself! :cry:

I agree, I dont want to roleplay to get a date. I have had girlfriends before, but I gotta admit it would be a lot easier to just act as one of these "confident" guys.

The funny thing, though, is that I look at these "confident" guys down at the bars and I know theyre faking it lol. For example, I will bump into a guy at a bar or party (on accident) and I will smile and say "excuse me" and then he will glare at me and say "watch it". Then I will bump into him again (on purpose) and he may or may not throw a punch lol. Its fun giving those guys reality checks.

Its OK, girls will learn the hard way. The only friends I know of that are married, are married to nice guys.

I wasnt generalizing, I can give you numerous, specific examples:

1. My roommate constantly threatened to break up with his girlfriend if she didnt do what he said. She should have called his bluff, but she didnt.

2. A guy in my major made his girlfriend pay for all his drinks at the bars, all the time. She would complain and stuff, but she always gave in. I dont feel the guy should always buy his date stuff, but it should be 50:50 imo.

3. Look at all the jerky celebrities out there, then look at their girlfriends.

The list goes on.

As for having something to complain about, well...duh. Its called a relationship, it is a work in progress, so there is always something to complain about. This applies to both sides.

Listen, I am not saying you have to be a jerk to be attractive to a girl. I am just saying that jerks always seem to have cute girlfriends, so maybe there are some characteristics girls are attracted to, hence the reason I think young ladies get off on a bit of suffering.

mrbojangles25

Well are those jerks in the hotness range of the hotness of the girls? It has been studied that guys will be able to get a girl hotter than them. But to do this, they need to be able to provide the things the girl needs emotionally and phyiscally (as it is said that girls are more likely to look past the physical traits of a man - but then everyone will still have their standards).

In regards to your list:

1. Did you ask the girl why she put up with that? And what about your room mate? what was his complaints about his gf? And if she did call his bluff - then they would just be the couple who broke up and then got back together consistently -

2. Besides drinks - was there anything else the girl paid for? Was there anything the guy provided?

3. OR boyfriends? Jerks can go either or and lets face it - in regards to celebrities - we only know what we see in the media.

And that goes for any relationship - do you know what these "jerk" boyfriends provide to this women that keep them staying? Lets face it - people would rather b*** than glorify - but in reality after letting off some steam, these people they complain about, at the end of the day, are the ones who hold them the right way, make em laugh the right way, understand them the right way, etc ... .

And what is your obsession with cute and hot girls? You can get one too if you played your cards right.

[QUOTE="chrisrooR"][QUOTE="Video_Game_King"][QUOTE="chrisrooR"]

As have I. I really don't understand why girls don't like nice guys, it doesn't make sense. I could be a total **** but then I would just be...a total ****

Honestly, I'm a nice guy naturally; it's the way I act around my friends and it's the way I act around girls. If I have to change my personality for when I'm with a girl...I suppose i'll have to become homosexual.

Soo....Video_Game_King....whatcha up to tonight ;)

mrbojangles25

More often than not, you'll have to change your personality to get a girl. One rule of relationships: no girl likes you. They always like the other guy, even if he's incredibly like you.

That's bull****. I just want to be myself! :cry:

I agree, I dont want to roleplay to get a date. I have had girlfriends before, but I gotta admit it would be a lot easier to just act as one of these "confident" guys.

The funny thing, though, is that I look at these "confident" guys down at the bars and I know theyre faking it lol. For example, I will bump into a guy at a bar or party (on accident) and I will smile and say "excuse me" and then he will glare at me and say "watch it". Then I will bump into him again (on purpose) and he may or may not throw a punch lol. Its fun giving those guys reality checks.

Its OK, girls will learn the hard way. The only friends I know of that are married, are married to nice guys.

Unfortunately, you're gonna have to roleplay. Girls never like you. They like somebody else. The world never adjusts to you, but rather forces you to adjust to it.

[QUOTE="mrbojangles25"][QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="mrbojangles25"][QUOTE="Sajedene"]

[QUOTE="Video_Game_King"]Yea, but if you become a jerk/confident, the girl's gonna say she doesn't want to be with you. The universe always finds a way to screw you over.The_Mac_Daddy

OMG. How many times do we have to say (even the article) that it doesnt mean you become a jerk.

sorry but real-life examples disagree. If you are a jerk, the hot ladies will come flocking. When are women going to grow up?

Oh please - so many guys I know cry "but I'm a nice guy!" But they all can and have been jerks! Heck, being in this forum is proof of that. A girl breaks their heart and goes to the other guy - he automatically becomes a jerk in their eyes. A girl complains about a guy in their relationship - the guy they say it too assumes oh they're definitely a jerk.

You can be a saint of a man and do all those things but ask your gf's friends and I can guarantee you she has and always will have something to complain about.

When will boys become men?

I wasnt generalizing, I can give you numerous, specific examples:

1. My roommate constantly threatened to break up with his girlfriend if she didnt do what he said. She should have called his bluff, but she didnt.

2. A guy in my major made his girlfriend pay for all his drinks at the bars, all the time. She would complain and stuff, but she always gave in. I dont feel the guy should always buy his date stuff, but it should be 50:50 imo.

3. Look at all the jerky celebrities out there, then look at their girlfriends.

The list goes on.

As for having something to complain about, well...duh. Its called a relationship, it is a work in progress, so there is always something to complain about. This applies to both sides.

Listen, I am not saying you have to be a jerk to be attractive to a girl. I am just saying that jerks always seem to have cute girlfriends, so maybe there are some characteristics girls are attracted to, hence the reason I think young ladies get off on a bit of suffering.

Actually, I'm not going to lie.. I was kind of like that with my last girlfriend. I wasn't afraid to break up with her and she knew it... it basically put me in control and i had her wrapped around my finger. I mean, I wouldn't want to break up or anything, but I wouldn't be timid to do it. I just don't like to take any crap in relationships..

It's not really being a jerk... it's just being fair to yourself. Don't ever get whipped.

ya I know, it works. But it is manipulative.

But ya, dont get whipped lol. There is a point I reach where I basically say "**** you, do it yourself" to a girl if she is too needy lol. Not literally, of course ,but you get what I mean.

I'm not sure how much I believe this. A "dating expert" is hardly an expert in anything except sounding like they know something. While there's no doubt that some girls flock towards the bad boys I find it hard to believe that most girls prefer men who are rude to them over men who actually care about them. Even assuming this trend is for real (that girls tend to prefer jerks over nice guys) and not simply due to observer/selection bias one there are just too many lurking variables to conclusively say that being nice causes you to not get girls. For example, a jerk may just be more assertive than a nice guy. While a nice guy (god this term is getting annoying) may let opportunities to elevate his relationship with a girl passby in fear of offending her a jerk would probably be very aggressive in getting closer. Another possibility if we believe the "nice guys bore girls" line is that nice guys are by their nature boring. They don't take chances, they behave exactly as expected so as not to risk getting into bad situations or offending anyone, etc. A jerk is less inclined to obide by society's rules (otherwise he wouldn't be a jerk) and thus would be expected to do the exact of opposite of the nice guy.

Finally, assuming that this author is, by some miracle of god, correct, let's think about this for a second: Do you really want to be in a relationship with a girl who's so immature that she prefers going out with a guy who's likely to turn into an abusive partner over a guy who's shown that he cares about her?

Ahhh, basically what I've been saying for the past few years:

If you kick, they lick. If you lick, they kick.

Sadly, I tend to go against my own advice very often. I'm a very good person by nature, know what I mean? However I do agree with the article 100%. Women don't want the kind of guy who's literally giving himself to her...it's boring and downright desperate!

[QUOTE="mrbojangles25"]

I wasnt generalizing, I can give you numerous, specific examples:

1. My roommate constantly threatened to break up with his girlfriend if she didnt do what he said. She should have called his bluff, but she didnt.

2. A guy in my major made his girlfriend pay for all his drinks at the bars, all the time. She would complain and stuff, but she always gave in. I dont feel the guy should always buy his date stuff, but it should be 50:50 imo.

3. Look at all the jerky celebrities out there, then look at their girlfriends.

The list goes on.

As for having something to complain about, well...duh. Its called a relationship, it is a work in progress, so there is always something to complain about. This applies to both sides.

Listen, I am not saying you have to be a jerk to be attractive to a girl. I am just saying that jerks always seem to have cute girlfriends, so maybe there are some characteristics girls are attracted to, hence the reason I think young ladies get off on a bit of suffering.

Sajedene

Well are those jerks in the hotness range of the hotness of the girls? It has been studied that guys will be able to get a girl hotter than them. But to do this, they need to be able to provide the things the girl needs emotionally and phyiscally (as it is said that girls are more likely to look past the physical traits of a man - but then everyone will still have their standards).

In regards to your list:

1. Did you ask the girl why she put up with that? And what about your room mate? what was his complaints about his gf? And if she did call his bluff - then they would just be the couple who broke up and then got back together consistently -

2. Besides drinks - was there anything else the girl paid for? Was there anything the guy provided?

3. OR boyfriends? Jerks can go either or and lets face it - in regards to celebrities - we only know what we see in the media.

And that goes for any relationship - do you know what these "jerk" boyfriends provide to this women that keep them staying? Lets face it - people would rather b*** than glorify - but in reality after letting off some steam, these people they complain about, at the end of the day, are the ones who hold them the right way, make em laugh the right way, understand them the right way, etc ... .

And what is your obsession with cute and hot girls? You can get one too if you played your cards right.

Ahhh, basically what I've been saying for the past few years:

If you kick, they lick. If you lick, they kick.

Sadly, I tend to go against my own advice very often. I'm a very good person by nature, know what I mean? However I do agree with the article 100%. Women don't want the kind of guy who's literally giving himself to her...it's boring and downright desperate!

the_one34

So you essentially have to be a cold, distant jerk. That's what girls like, that's what girls want.

Finally, assuming that this author is, by some miracle of god, correct, let's think about this for a second: Do you really want to be in a relationship with a girl who's so immature that she prefers going out with a guy who's likely to turn into an abusive partner over a guy who's shown that he cares about her?

gameguy6700

What makes you think that just because the guy doesnt give the world to the girl before the first date that he will be abusive to her? Why do you assume that just because a guy doesnt fawn attention to a girl prior to a first date that he is rude?

I'm a nice guy, but I'm not shy...so I'm fine :Pfrankyfitz

I'd image that theres a waiting list for girls to go on a date with a man of your status:P

I'm a nice guy, but I'm not shy...so I'm fine :Pfrankyfitz

im a nice guy, and im not shy, but im not fine :(

[QUOTE="the_one34"]

Ahhh, basically what I've been saying for the past few years:

If you kick, they lick. If you lick, they kick.

Sadly, I tend to go against my own advice very often. I'm a very good person by nature, know what I mean? However I do agree with the article 100%. Women don't want the kind of guy who's literally giving himself to her...it's boring and downright desperate!

Video_Game_King

So you essentially have to be a cold, distant jerk. That's what girls like, that's what girls want.

No, I don't think you have to be a jerk. You just have to find a balance between them, you know? Try and always keep her wanting more :P

[QUOTE="the_one34"]

Ahhh, basically what I've been saying for the past few years:

If you kick, they lick. If you lick, they kick.

Sadly, I tend to go against my own advice very often. I'm a very good person by nature, know what I mean? However I do agree with the article 100%. Women don't want the kind of guy who's literally giving himself to her...it's boring and downright desperate!

Video_Game_King

So you essentially have to be a cold, distant jerk. That's what girls like, that's what girls want.

Again with the bitterness... and it reflects. You dont hav to be cold and distant - but you dont want to give her the world when you havent even gone out on a date. The point of dating and being in a relationship is for both of you to learn about each other as each day progresses to see if you're meant for each other.

[QUOTE="gameguy6700"]

Finally, assuming that this author is, by some miracle of god, correct, let's think about this for a second: Do you really want to be in a relationship with a girl who's so immature that she prefers going out with a guy who's likely to turn into an abusive partner over a guy who's shown that he cares about her?

Sajedene

What makes you think that just because the guy doesnt give the world to the girl before the first date that he will be abusive to her? Why do you assume that just because a guy doesnt fawn attention to a girl prior to a first date that he is rude?

Its called chivalry.

Idunno, maybe its the fact that my parents were born before baby boomers, but they sort of raised me to be a gentleman and always treat women right.

In the words of Dave Chapelle: "Chivalry is dead...and women killed it". There used to be a time when a guy would go through a door, see a woman coming, and hold it open for and in turn receive a smile.

Now, if you hold the door open, chances are the woman will A.) glare at you, or B.) assume youre a rapists and use another door. And while I do have a natural scowl and I look threatening due to my size, I am not creepy at all so I do not ask for that treatment.

Idunno maybe that guy is right; maybe I do have to roleplay and adapt to society and not be myself. But therein lies the problem: eventually, I do have to be myself and what if the girl likes my fake side and not my real, genuine side?

[QUOTE="Video_Game_King"][QUOTE="the_one34"]

Ahhh, basically what I've been saying for the past few years:

If you kick, they lick. If you lick, they kick.

Sadly, I tend to go against my own advice very often. I'm a very good person by nature, know what I mean? However I do agree with the article 100%. Women don't want the kind of guy who's literally giving himself to her...it's boring and downright desperate!

Sajedene

So you essentially have to be a cold, distant jerk. That's what girls like, that's what girls want.

Again with the bitterness... and it reflects. You dont hav to be cold and distant - but you dont want to give her the world when you havent even gone out on a date. The point of dating and being in a relationship is for both of you to learn about each other as each day progresses to see if you're meant for each other.

But again, the girl is more likely to go to the cold distant jerk. Look at FF7. Cloud couldn't give a crap about any of the girls, yet he's got all of them lined up to sexually pleasure him.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="gameguy6700"]

Finally, assuming that this author is, by some miracle of god, correct, let's think about this for a second: Do you really want to be in a relationship with a girl who's so immature that she prefers going out with a guy who's likely to turn into an abusive partner over a guy who's shown that he cares about her?

mrbojangles25

What makes you think that just because the guy doesnt give the world to the girl before the first date that he will be abusive to her? Why do you assume that just because a guy doesnt fawn attention to a girl prior to a first date that he is rude?

Its called chivalry.

Idunno, maybe its the fact that my parents were born before baby boomers, but they sort of raised me to be a gentleman and always treat women right.

In the words of Dave Chapelle: "Chivalry is dead...and women killed it". There used to be a time when a guy would go through a door, see a woman coming, and hold it open for and in turn receive a smile.

Now, if you hold the door open, chances are the woman will A.) glare at you, or B.) assume youre a rapists and use another door. And while I do have a natural scowl and I look threatening due to my size, I am not creepy at all so I do not ask for that treatment.

Idunno maybe that guy is right; maybe I do have to roleplay and adapt to society and not be myself. But therein lies the problem: eventually, I do have to be myself and what if the girl likes my fake side and not my real, genuine side?

And you've experienced that personally? I always smile and thank guys who do stuff like that for me - and have even dated some of those guys. And so have my friends. But then again, they also ask me out or for my number immediately and not wait to get to know me BEFORE the first date, giving me their all - so that could be a difference. They just get to the point. They want to date me so they ask - they dont wait until we become friends and I get to know them enough that the mystery is gone and I just dont see them as dating material anymore.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="Video_Game_King"][QUOTE="the_one34"]

Ahhh, basically what I've been saying for the past few years:

If you kick, they lick. If you lick, they kick.

Sadly, I tend to go against my own advice very often. I'm a very good person by nature, know what I mean? However I do agree with the article 100%. Women don't want the kind of guy who's literally giving himself to her...it's boring and downright desperate!

Video_Game_King

So you essentially have to be a cold, distant jerk. That's what girls like, that's what girls want.

Again with the bitterness... and it reflects. You dont hav to be cold and distant - but you dont want to give her the world when you havent even gone out on a date. The point of dating and being in a relationship is for both of you to learn about each other as each day progresses to see if you're meant for each other.

But again, the girl is more likely to go to the cold distant jerk. Look at FF7. Cloud couldn't give a crap about any of the girls, yet he's got all of them lined up to sexually pleasure him.

Wow dude... just ... wow.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"]

[QUOTE="Video_Game_King"]Yea, but if you become a jerk/confident, the girl's gonna say she doesn't want to be with you. The universe always finds a way to screw you over.mrbojangles25

OMG. How many times do we have to say (even the article) that it doesnt mean you become a jerk.

sorry but real-life examples disagree. If you are a jerk, the hot ladies will come flocking. When are women going to grow up?

Basically it's because jerks, guys with an attidude and guys who mistreat women (not all the time) are supposedly superior to nice guys. According to nature, they are generally stronger, more successful in life and more likely to be able to take care of the woman and the baby, so that means a women will more likely have sex with such guys rather then boring, dull, average, etc, nice guys.

[QUOTE="frankyfitz"]I'm a nice guy, but I'm not shy...so I'm fine :Pdreamdude

I'd image that theres a waiting list for girls to go on a date with a man of your status:P

[QUOTE="frankyfitz"]I'm a nice guy, but I'm not shy...so I'm fine :PPremier1101

im a nice guy, and im not shy, but im not fine :(

[QUOTE="dreamdude"]

[QUOTE="frankyfitz"]I'm a nice guy, but I'm not shy...so I'm fine :Pfrankyfitz

I'd image that theres a waiting list for girls to go on a date with a man of your status:P

[QUOTE="frankyfitz"]I'm a nice guy, but I'm not shy...so I'm fine :PPremier1101

im a nice guy, and im not shy, but im not fine :(

that joke thing didnt work once... i got one chuckle, and then itnwas ignore....

[QUOTE="mrbojangles25"][QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="gameguy6700"]

Finally, assuming that this author is, by some miracle of god, correct, let's think about this for a second: Do you really want to be in a relationship with a girl who's so immature that she prefers going out with a guy who's likely to turn into an abusive partner over a guy who's shown that he cares about her?

Sajedene

What makes you think that just because the guy doesnt give the world to the girl before the first date that he will be abusive to her? Why do you assume that just because a guy doesnt fawn attention to a girl prior to a first date that he is rude?

Its called chivalry.

Idunno, maybe its the fact that my parents were born before baby boomers, but they sort of raised me to be a gentleman and always treat women right.

In the words of Dave Chapelle: "Chivalry is dead...and women killed it". There used to be a time when a guy would go through a door, see a woman coming, and hold it open for and in turn receive a smile.

Now, if you hold the door open, chances are the woman will A.) glare at you, or B.) assume youre a rapists and use another door. And while I do have a natural scowl and I look threatening due to my size, I am not creepy at all so I do not ask for that treatment.

Idunno maybe that guy is right; maybe I do have to roleplay and adapt to society and not be myself. But therein lies the problem: eventually, I do have to be myself and what if the girl likes my fake side and not my real, genuine side?

And you've experienced that personally? I always smile and thank guys who do stuff like that for me - and have even dated some of those guys. And so have my friends. But then again, they also ask me out or for my number immediately and not wait to get to know me BEFORE the first date, giving me their all - so that could be a difference. They just get to the point. They want to date me so they ask - they dont wait until we become friends and I get to know them enough that the mystery is gone and I just dont see them as dating material anymore.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="Video_Game_King"][QUOTE="the_one34"]

Ahhh, basically what I've been saying for the past few years:

If you kick, they lick. If you lick, they kick.

Sadly, I tend to go against my own advice very often. I'm a very good person by nature, know what I mean? However I do agree with the article 100%. Women don't want the kind of guy who's literally giving himself to her...it's boring and downright desperate!

Video_Game_King

So you essentially have to be a cold, distant jerk. That's what girls like, that's what girls want.

Again with the bitterness... and it reflects. You dont hav to be cold and distant - but you dont want to give her the world when you havent even gone out on a date. The point of dating and being in a relationship is for both of you to learn about each other as each day progresses to see if you're meant for each other.

But again, the girl is more likely to go to the cold distant jerk. Look at FF7. Cloud couldn't give a crap about any of the girls, yet he's got all of them lined up to sexually pleasure him.

Wow dude... just ... wow.

What the hell do you mean by that? Cloud's a butthole the whole game, yet Aeris quickly falls in love with the guy, gets killed off, and then Tifa falls in love with him.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="Video_Game_King"]But again, the girl is more likely to go to the cold distant jerk. Look at FF7. Cloud couldn't give a crap about any of the girls, yet he's got all of them lined up to sexually pleasure him. Video_Game_King

Wow dude... just ... wow.

What the hell do you mean by that? Cloud's a butthole the whole game, yet Aeris quickly falls in love with the guy, gets killed off, and then Tifa falls in love with him.

Okay... I think its time you go outside. Turn the computer off, turn the consoles off... and go outside, hang out with some friends, meet new people....

[QUOTE="gameguy6700"]

Finally, assuming that this author is, by some miracle of god, correct, let's think about this for a second: Do you really want to be in a relationship with a girl who's so immature that she prefers going out with a guy who's likely to turn into an abusive partner over a guy who's shown that he cares about her?

Sajedene

What makes you think that just because the guy doesnt give the world to the girl before the first date that he will be abusive to her? Why do you assume that just because a guy doesnt fawn attention to a girl prior to a first date that he is rude?

I'm referring to "jerk" as the article describes it: A guy who couldn't give a flying **** about the girl he's dating and who treats her like crap. So if a guy is like that at the start of a relationship what's he going to be like later on when he cares about her even less and feels less inhibited to use more severe mistreatment?

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="gameguy6700"]

Finally, assuming that this author is, by some miracle of god, correct, let's think about this for a second: Do you really want to be in a relationship with a girl who's so immature that she prefers going out with a guy who's likely to turn into an abusive partner over a guy who's shown that he cares about her?

mrbojangles25

What makes you think that just because the guy doesnt give the world to the girl before the first date that he will be abusive to her? Why do you assume that just because a guy doesnt fawn attention to a girl prior to a first date that he is rude?

Its called chivalry.

Idunno, maybe its the fact that my parents were born before baby boomers, but they sort of raised me to be a gentleman and always treat women right.

In the words of Dave Chapelle: "Chivalry is dead...and women killed it". There used to be a time when a guy would go through a door, see a woman coming, and hold it open for and in turn receive a smile.

Now, if you hold the door open, chances are the woman will A.) glare at you, or B.) assume youre a rapists and use another door. And while I do have a natural scowl and I look threatening due to my size, I am not creepy at all so I do not ask for that treatment.

Idunno maybe that guy is right; maybe I do have to roleplay and adapt to society and not be myself. But therein lies the problem: eventually, I do have to be myself and what if the girl likes my fake side and not my real, genuine side?

Same here

OK the FFVII reference made my day. I was starting to get a little depressed (just moved, dont know anyone, dating situation sucks!) and this thread didnt help my situation lol...but now I am happy.

Thanks guys lol

"wow...just...wo" lol

[QUOTE="Video_Game_King"][QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="Video_Game_King"]But again, the girl is more likely to go to the cold distant jerk. Look at FF7. Cloud couldn't give a crap about any of the girls, yet he's got all of them lined up to sexually pleasure him. Sajedene

Wow dude... just ... wow.

What the hell do you mean by that? Cloud's a butthole the whole game, yet Aeris quickly falls in love with the guy, gets killed off, and then Tifa falls in love with him.

Okay... I think its time you go outside. Turn the computer off, turn the consoles off... and go outside, hang out with some friends, meet new people....

What are you saying? That video games are incapable of teaching valuable life lessons? Mind telling me the reasoning behind such a crass statement?

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="gameguy6700"]

Finally, assuming that this author is, by some miracle of god, correct, let's think about this for a second: Do you really want to be in a relationship with a girl who's so immature that she prefers going out with a guy who's likely to turn into an abusive partner over a guy who's shown that he cares about her?

gameguy6700

What makes you think that just because the guy doesnt give the world to the girl before the first date that he will be abusive to her? Why do you assume that just because a guy doesnt fawn attention to a girl prior to a first date that he is rude?

I'm referring to "jerk" as the article describes it: A guy who couldn't give a flying **** about the girl he's dating and who treats her like crap. So if a guy is like that at the start of a relationship what's he going to be like later on when he cares about her even less and feels less inhibited to use more severe mistreatment?

The article specifically said dont be a jerk. What the article is asking for is to not give the world to the girl too soon. Its not about not caring - its about not caring too much too soon.

So what this article is saying is if I act like an arrogant ass I'll get the ladies?Vax45

Yea, pretty much.

[QUOTE="Vax45"]So what this article is saying is if I act like an arrogant ass I'll get the ladies?Video_Game_King

Yea, pretty much.

Everyone of you guys who think and continue to think that way will remain lonely. Good luck to you all. Its pointless trying to make you understand when you're so set in the idea that you're nice guys (who's to say when the judge is yourself) and all the other guys who get the girls are jerks - and ofcourse its never your fault - its always THEIR fault when its obvious the problem is personal.

[QUOTE="Vax45"]So what this article is saying is if I act like an arrogant ass I'll get the ladies?Video_Game_King

Yea, pretty much.

Thats what I thought at first.

But now I realized the author is just an idiot that is confusing confident nice guys with wimps. She has a point, its just wrong and she makes generalizations. Alas, I guess you have to stoop to such measures when YOU WRITE ABOUT BULL****

My mood has gone like this after reading this thread. Up, down, up a little, down a lot and now up a little.

[QUOTE="gameguy6700"][QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="gameguy6700"]

Finally, assuming that this author is, by some miracle of god, correct, let's think about this for a second: Do you really want to be in a relationship with a girl who's so immature that she prefers going out with a guy who's likely to turn into an abusive partner over a guy who's shown that he cares about her?

Sajedene

What makes you think that just because the guy doesnt give the world to the girl before the first date that he will be abusive to her? Why do you assume that just because a guy doesnt fawn attention to a girl prior to a first date that he is rude?

I'm referring to "jerk" as the article describes it: A guy who couldn't give a flying **** about the girl he's dating and who treats her like crap. So if a guy is like that at the start of a relationship what's he going to be like later on when he cares about her even less and feels less inhibited to use more severe mistreatment?

The article specifically said dont be a jerk. What the article is asking for is to not give the world to the girl too soon. Its not about not caring - its about not caring too much too soon.

Ah, I see. To be honest I stopped reading after it became apparant that the author was writing of her ass/trying to pass off a widely held belief as her own original idea.

[QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="gameguy6700"][QUOTE="Sajedene"][QUOTE="gameguy6700"]

Finally, assuming that this author is, by some miracle of god, correct, let's think about this for a second: Do you really want to be in a relationship with a girl who's so immature that she prefers going out with a guy who's likely to turn into an abusive partner over a guy who's shown that he cares about her?

gameguy6700

What makes you think that just because the guy doesnt give the world to the girl before the first date that he will be abusive to her? Why do you assume that just because a guy doesnt fawn attention to a girl prior to a first date that he is rude?

I'm referring to "jerk" as the article describes it: A guy who couldn't give a flying **** about the girl he's dating and who treats her like crap. So if a guy is like that at the start of a relationship what's he going to be like later on when he cares about her even less and feels less inhibited to use more severe mistreatment?

The article specifically said dont be a jerk. What the article is asking for is to not give the world to the girl too soon. Its not about not caring - its about not caring too much too soon.

Ah, I see. To be honest I stopped reading after it became apparant that the author was writing of her ass/trying to pass off a widely held belief as her own original idea.

OMG, this definatly just helped me out alot in the situation I'm currently in.USSJAndrew

Same here, i m so bookmarking this thread, nice one TC :p