LOL Duke Nuken 5.5 @ IGN, 3/10 Eurogamer!

:lol:This portion of the Eurogamer review is hilarious:

"In 1996, Stallone and Schwarzenegger were on the wane, so Duke's beefcake eighties action movie clichés carried some satirical weight. In 2011, he's a parody of something that no longer exists, the gaming equivalent of an embarrassing uncle who still says "Whaaaaassup?" and pretends to breakdance at wedding receptions."

And with that, Duke Nukem, perishes in the pages of history. Never to be heard or seen again.

I'm surprised that the argument of it being 'from an other era' or 'dated' is prevalent in it scoring low. Seriously, look at Serious Sam HD. It's literally unchanged from its first 2001 release, which at the time was a throwback to the 90s school of shooter design. Serious Sam 3 looks to be a trend of continuing that. Crass low brow humour, people don't like it? Bulletstorm. It just seems as though the game is weighed down by faults and poor design choices, which is a shame really. As we all know long development periods don't equate to good games, Too Human for instance. If anything it's more of an opportunity for things to go wrong.skrat_01

You enjoy when games do bad? This is a shame and honestly the project should have been cancelled.

A 3 at Eurogamer.

Even worse.

:lol: Thats worse then Infamous 2.

VensInferno

:lol:This portion of the Eurogamer review is hilarious:

"In 1996, Stallone and Schwarzenegger were on the wane, so Duke's beefcake eighties action movie clichés carried some satirical weight. In 2011, he's a parody of something that no longer exists, the gaming equivalent of an embarrassing uncle who still says "Whaaaaassup?" and pretends to breakdance at wedding receptions."

ironcreed

A 3 at Eurogamer.

Even worse.

mitu123

Out of ten???!!!!! :shock: :o

:lol:This portion of the Eurogamer review is hilarious:

"In 1996, Stallone and Schwarzenegger were on the wane, so Duke's beefcake eighties action movie clichés carried some satirical weight. In 2011, he's a parody of something that no longer exists, the gaming equivalent of an embarrassing uncle who still says "Whaaaaassup?" and pretends to breakdance at wedding receptions."

ironcreed

That doesn't surprise me. I'm not knocking the game, but this game is so hyped that there's no way it can live up to it.

[QUOTE="ironcreed"]

:lol:This portion of the Eurogamer review is hilarious:

"In 1996, Stallone and Schwarzenegger were on the wane, so Duke's beefcake eighties action movie clichés carried some satirical weight. In 2011, he's a parody of something that no longer exists, the gaming equivalent of an embarrassing uncle who still says "Whaaaaassup?" and pretends to breakdance at wedding receptions."

bobbetybob

[QUOTE="skrat_01"]I'm surprised that the argument of it being 'from an other era' or 'dated' is prevalent in it scoring low. Seriously, look at Serious Sam HD. It's literally unchanged from its first 2001 release, which at the time was a throwback to the 90s school of shooter design. Serious Sam 3 looks to be a trend of continuing that. Crass low brow humour, people don't like it? Bulletstorm. It just seems as though the game is weighed down by faults and poor design choices, which is a shame really. As we all know long development periods don't equate to good games, Too Human for instance. If anything it's more of an opportunity for things to go wrong.LOXO7

[QUOTE="mitu123"]

A 3 at Eurogamer.

Even worse.

glez13

Out of ten???!!!!! :shock: :o

[QUOTE="mitu123"]

A 3 at Eurogamer.

Even worse.

glez13

Out of ten???!!!!! :shock: :o

Reading the interview and then the review is absolutely hilarious. :lol:

I swear this is the most fun I've had with reading game reviews in a LONG time.

Knew it when I played the demo and it felt like Call of Duke.

Poor Gearbox. Hopefully they're working on Borderlands 2 to make up for this mess.

Duke Nukem Forever - Review

"The king is dead."

Randy Pitchford is thinking of me. "I would not want to be a journalist on this one," the Gearbox studio boss told Mr Minkley in our Duke Nukem Foreverlaunch day interview. "I would not want to be a critic. It's going to be tough."

His concern, presumably, is that Duke Nukem Forever is such a monumental event, such a literally game-changing, epoch-shaking moment, that the pressure to accommodate its many facets in a single review - to boil down 14 years of expectation into a fair critical summary - is too terrible a burden for any writer to bear. Duke Nukem Forever! It's here! How can things ever be the same again?

...

--- Interview ---

"We know the game's great. Any journalist that decides to try to go... To lowball it is gonna be held accountable by the readers.

"It's also Duke frickin' Nukem frickin' Forever. One could not be a gamer in this world without consuming that and having that experience. You're just missing out on a ginormous aspect of videogames history if you fail to participate."

It's not just finished, but it's worthy," insists Pitchford. "It succeeds at its goal. Which is astonishing, if you think about it. So much better than the other story, which was, 'It's over and that's it', and it fizzles out."

------

Except, with joypad in hand, reviewing Duke Nukem Forever actually proves incredibly simple. Everything else becomes a sideshow when the main event is so obviously, heart-breakingly disappointing on almost every level. The toughest part is deciding where to begin.

:lol:

[QUOTE="ironcreed"]

:lol:This portion of the Eurogamer review is hilarious:

"In 1996, Stallone and Schwarzenegger were on the wane, so Duke's beefcake eighties action movie clichés carried some satirical weight. In 2011, he's a parody of something that no longer exists, the gaming equivalent of an embarrassing uncle who still says "Whaaaaassup?" and pretends to breakdance at wedding receptions."

bobbetybob

I still love those flicks as well. I was making reference to the comment about the crazy uncle who looks and acts like he showed up to the party about 20 years too late. I just found the comment itself funny.

As I have stated in previous comments, criticizing the game for its technical and design flaws is completely understandable and should be expected. However, criticizing Duke for being Duke is ridiculous. Sure, the humor is immature, vulgar and over the top. It is supposed to be. What were people expecting, for them to turn Duke Nukem into a game with some deep and compelling storyline, lol?

If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is someone who cannot loosen the tie, lighten up and have a good time with a little vulgar and over the top humor here and there. Especially when we are dealing with video games. I love a rich storyline with a mature and compelling tale just as much as the next guy, but sometimes I just want to lighten up, have fun and laugh. That is all this game is really about and I plan to enjoy it, knowing full well that technically it is going to be a flawed and dated mess.

As a side note, what do you want to bet that when Shadows of the Damned is released next week that all of the crass and over the top vulgarity will suddenly be "awesome"? People will be talking about how great it is to have to stand in ethereal, demonic horse poop in order to beat a boss. Or how great all of the "Johnson" references are, etc. In other words, it is on the same level humor-wise. Yet I bet it will be praised in this game far more than it is derided.

Man, that Eurogamer review was harsh!

DNF should have been released at least seven or six years ago. At this point, I plan to get this game only via a Steam sale.

5.5 from IGN? How bout THIS from eurogamer?

5.5 from IGN? How bout THIS from eurogamer?

Heirren

[QUOTE="bobbetybob"][QUOTE="ironcreed"]

:lol:This portion of the Eurogamer review is hilarious:

"In 1996, Stallone and Schwarzenegger were on the wane, so Duke's beefcake eighties action movie clichés carried some satirical weight. In 2011, he's a parody of something that no longer exists, the gaming equivalent of an embarrassing uncle who still says "Whaaaaassup?" and pretends to breakdance at wedding receptions."

ironcreed

I still love those flicks as well. I was making reference to the comment about the crazy uncle who looks and acts like he showed up to the party about 20 years too late. I just found the comment itself funny.

As I have stated in previous comments, criticizing the game for its technical and design flaws is completely understandable and should be expected. However, criticizing Duke for being Duke is ridiculous. Sure, the humor is immature, vulgar and over the top. It is supposed to be. What were people expecting, for them to turn Duke Nukem into a game with some deep and compelling storyline, lol?

If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is someone who cannot loosen the tie, lighten up and have a good time with a little vulgar and over the top humor here and there. Especially when we are dealing with video games. I love a rich storyline with a mature and compelling tale just as much as the next guy, but sometimes I just want to lighten up, have fun and laugh. That is all this game is really about and I plan to enjoy it, knowing full well that technically it is going to be a flawed and dated mess.

As a side note, what do you want to bet that when Shadows of the Damned is released next week that all of the crass and over the top vulgarity will suddenly be "awesome"? People will be talking about how great it is to have to stand in ethereal, demonic horse poop in order to beat a boss. Or how great all of the "Johnson" references are, etc. In other words, it is on the same level humor-wise. Yet I bet it will be praised in this game far more than it is derided.

I think it would've been better if this game was release...I don't know...10 years ago.

[QUOTE="Heirren"]

5.5 from IGN? How bout THIS from eurogamer?

mitu123

My fault. But anyways, something tells me the game just can't be that bad. The bad scores almost make me want to play the game, because I had no desire to before I read how bad it was.

[QUOTE="ironcreed"]

:lol:This portion of the Eurogamer review is hilarious:

"In 1996, Stallone and Schwarzenegger were on the wane, so Duke's beefcake eighties action movie clichés carried some satirical weight. In 2011, he's a parody of something that no longer exists, the gaming equivalent of an embarrassing uncle who still says "Whaaaaassup?" and pretends to breakdance at wedding receptions."

SkyWard20

Well something about the game has to be entertaining:P

Duke Nukem Forever - Review

"The king is dead."

Randy Pitchford is thinking of me. "I would not want to be a journalist on this one," the Gearbox studio boss told Mr Minkley in our Duke Nukem Foreverlaunch day interview. "I would not want to be a critic. It's going to be tough."

His concern, presumably, is that Duke Nukem Forever is such a monumental event, such a literally game-changing, epoch-shaking moment, that the pressure to accommodate its many facets in a single review - to boil down 14 years of expectation into a fair critical summary - is too terrible a burden for any writer to bear. Duke Nukem Forever! It's here! How can things ever be the same again?

...

--- Interview ---

"We know the game's great. Any journalist that decides to try to go... To lowball it is gonna be held accountable by the readers.

"It's also Duke frickin' Nukem frickin' Forever. One could not be a gamer in this world without consuming that and having that experience. You're just missing out on a ginormous aspect of videogames history if you fail to participate."

It's not just finished, but it's worthy," insists Pitchford. "It succeeds at its goal. Which is astonishing, if you think about it. So much better than the other story, which was, 'It's over and that's it', and it fizzles out."

------

Except, with joypad in hand, reviewing Duke Nukem Forever actually proves incredibly simple. Everything else becomes a sideshow when the main event is so obviously, heart-breakingly disappointing on almost every level. The toughest part is deciding where to begin.

:lol:

SkyWard20

[QUOTE="bobbetybob"][QUOTE="ironcreed"]

:lol:This portion of the Eurogamer review is hilarious:

"In 1996, Stallone and Schwarzenegger were on the wane, so Duke's beefcake eighties action movie clichés carried some satirical weight. In 2011, he's a parody of something that no longer exists, the gaming equivalent of an embarrassing uncle who still says "Whaaaaassup?" and pretends to breakdance at wedding receptions."

ironcreed

I still love those flicks as well. I was making reference to the comment about the crazy uncle who looks and acts like he showed up to the party about 20 years too late. I just found the comment itself funny.

As I have stated in previous comments, criticizing the game for its technical and design flaws is completely understandable and should be expected. However, criticizing Duke for being Duke is ridiculous. Sure, the humor is immature, vulgar and over the top. It is supposed to be. What were people expecting, for them to turn Duke Nukem into a game with some deep and compelling storyline, lol?

If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is someone who cannot loosen the tie, lighten up and have a good time with a little vulgar and over the top humor here and there. Especially when we are dealing with video games. I love a rich storyline with a mature and compelling tale just as much as the next guy, but sometimes I just want to lighten up, have fun and laugh. That is all this game is really about and I plan to enjoy it, knowing full well that technically it is going to be a flawed and dated mess.

As a side note, what do you want to bet that when Shadows of the Damned is released next week that all of the crass and over the top vulgarity will suddenly be "awesome"? People will be talking about how great it is to have to stand in ethereal, demonic horse poop in order to beat a boss. Or how great all of the "Johnson" references are, etc. In other words, it is on the same level humor-wise. Yet I bet it will be praised in this game far more than it is derided.

The day Randy Pitchford's ego was put on a spike and and left out to be stabbed at. Honestly "We know the game's great. Any journalist that decides to try to go... To lowball it is gonna be held accountable by the readers" is one of the most amazingly arrogant things I've heard.skrat_01

I don't think he was serious. From what I've seen in the trailers and read interviews he seems to be quite funny guy.

You enjoy when games do bad? This is a shame and honestly the project should have been cancelled.

Mercenary848

Yeah, i enjoy when bad games do bad :P

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"][QUOTE="Upparoom"]

I'm honestly not surprised it scored that way judging from the way the gameplay looked, but the reviewer seemed incredibly condescending and pretentious. I literally felt like I was reading an Armond White review :|.

eboyishere

+Good Graphics

+Online is even better then MW2

+Redefines the FPS genre

+Guns have life like Recoil

-Story ended to early wish it was longer

11.5

Yeah I will never defend these reviewers after that same thing happened at Gametrailers.. People were ranting and complaining that this guy gave Uncharted 2 a 9.3... because wihile everything it does, it does very well, nothing in it is very original or unique.. He said you can't just copy what others are doing add it to your game and expect the same score, so until it really does something refreshing and original a 9.3 is as high of a score a game like uncharted is going to get...which I 100% agree with, not to mention 9.3 is an incredible score.....

BUT THEN... THE SAME EXACT GUY... Gave Modern Warfare 2 a 9.5/game of the YEAR a MONTH later... Ridiculous.

I don't care what it scores anywhere, I'm getting it and will thoroughly enjoy it. Heil68

[QUOTE="Heil68"]I don't care what it scores anywhere, I'm getting it and will thoroughly enjoy it. Birdy09

Yeah I hate how it makes fun of Halo... Says IM DUKE.. Then copies Halo and uses regen health and you can only carry 2 weapons at a time.. like wtf. Yet people for some reason took that as the reviewer being offended that it was making fun of Halo.. Do people not even read? Or do they just like to misinterperate things on purpose just so they can attack reviewers for no reason.

I was hoping this would be a return of the FPS from the days of old but it isn't at all..

As I said in another thread, I really like this game, it takes me back to duke3d/postal 2 kinda fun. My jaw literally dropped and stayed there for 10 seconds as I accidentally punched a whining dude, then I found myself laughing, and I don't usually laugh very easily.

Sure it has some flaws, but in my book laughter > few flaws.

Alright time to kick some a...well you know the rest. (Playing it right now).

Looks like a terrible game anyway.

[QUOTE="ironcreed"]

[QUOTE="bobbetybob"] Eurgh, see that's just stupid, just because it's not relevant to the 12 year olds that most shooters are marketed at doesn't mean everyone else has suddenly forgotten those movies. I still love Schwarzenegger movies, and the one liners are the best bits, so I'm not allowed to enjoy that part of the game anymore because those films are old? Right ok, guess I'll never let my kids read any classic novels because they're old and not relevant so they must suck.Ninja_Odin

I still love those flicks as well. I was making reference to the comment about the crazy uncle who looks and acts like he showed up to the party about 20 years too late. I just found the comment itself funny.

As I have stated in previous comments, criticizing the game for its technical and design flaws is completely understandable and should be expected. However, criticizing Duke for being Duke is ridiculous. Sure, the humor is immature, vulgar and over the top. It is supposed to be. What were people expecting, for them to turn Duke Nukem into a game with some deep and compelling storyline, lol?

If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is someone who cannot loosen the tie, lighten up and have a good time with a little vulgar and over the top humor here and there. Especially when we are dealing with video games. I love a rich storyline with a mature and compelling tale just as much as the next guy, but sometimes I just want to lighten up, have fun and laugh. That is all this game is really about and I plan to enjoy it, knowing full well that technically it is going to be a flawed and dated mess.

As a side note, what do you want to bet that when Shadows of the Damned is released next week that all of the crass and over the top vulgarity will suddenly be "awesome"? People will be talking about how great it is to have to stand in ethereal, demonic horse poop in order to beat a boss. Or how great all of the "Johnson" references are, etc. In other words, it is on the same level humor-wise. Yet I bet it will be praised in this game far more than it is derided.

So, what you are saying is that the humor is unacceptable because the game is a technical mess, but it would be okay if it were a technical and modern marvel in the gameplay department? LOL, that makes no sense. As the humor would be the same either way.

The game deserves to be called out for being a technical and dated train wreck, but to criticize Duke for being Duke is ridiculous. What else is he supposed to be? This sort of coarse humor is to be expected out of Duke Nukem, therefore, it is not a negative for this game... bad gameplay and design or not.

[QUOTE="Birdy09"][QUOTE="Heil68"]I don't care what it scores anywhere, I'm getting it and will thoroughly enjoy it. VendettaRed07

Yeah I hate how it makes fun of Halo... Says IM DUKE.. Then copies Halo and uses regen health and you can only carry 2 weapons at a time.. like wtf. Yet people for some reason took that as the reviewer being offended that it was making fun of Halo.. Do people not even read? Or do they just like to misinterperate things on purpose just so they can attack reviewers for no reason.

I was hoping this would be a return of the FPS from the days of old but it isn't at all..

The game was smaking fun of The Chief, not Halo. The whole damn game plays like a bad Halo 2 clone. The "beserk pig cops" attack like the flood or brutes, the other aliens act like grunts, etc. There is even a control scheme that mimics Halo called MC. The Hive level could have been ripped straight from Halo 3.

To me the whole point of that scene is that even though the game is tottally influenced by Halo with the weapon designs, drops ships, and enemy behavior, ego/shield system (The damn loading screen says think of ego as your shield and let it charge.....) the Duke still breaks it's balls just because thats what Duke is all about. Just like the Space Marine jab in D3D, which is basically an awesome Doom clone!

Duke makes fun of everything, calling this game out on that Halo refernece is ****ing stupid especially with everything else thats not polished in the game. I'm a Halo fanboy and even I think it's funny. That's the Duke being an Ego maniac, not saying Halo sucks.....this game want's to be Halo, Half Life, and COD combined. It fails at that since it feel unfinished but the jokes are not trying to take anything away from the games that this one is so inspired by.

Why is this still a hot topic ?

A 3 at Eurogamer.

Even worse.

mitu123

oh man

abysmal

[QUOTE="skrat_01"]The day Randy Pitchford's ego was put on a spike and and left out to be stabbed at. Honestly "We know the game's great. Any journalist that decides to try to go... To lowball it is gonna be held accountable by the readers" is one of the most amazingly arrogant things I've heard.Icarian

I don't think he was serious. From what I've seen in the trailers and read interviews he seems to be quite funny guy.

They should of delayed the game to make it better, oh wait :(

AGM3002

Well it's official. Duke Nukem Forever = biggest flop of all time.Master_ShakeXXX

LOL yea, i think the Too Human developers are happy now to get the spotlights turned away from them :P