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"Mi Lord! Mits' troops are on the hill but mits has abandoned them whilst he treats his injuries!"
"Zhang Jiao! NOW!!!"
*Zhang Jiao has appears among Mits' troops*
"Ahhhh my chiiildren. Why followwww and officer that abandooonsss yyoouuu! Freee Yelloww turbans for those who become myy FOLLOWWERRSS!!!"
*Mit's troops have defected to Zhang Jiao!*
*Shu-Hanzhong Morale Falling*
*Zhang Jiao's Unit Morale Rising*
Excellent, Lu Bu's raid has thrown the enemy into chaos, now we wait for Diao Chan to sow dissention in the ranks of the enemy, as the pathetic fodder fights over who gets to keep her as their peice of the loot.
Zhang Liang - Excellent idea, mi Lord!
Course its a good idea! I thought of it didnt I?!
You should pay more attention to your own peril, cow!!!
(Lu Bu brings his halberd down with eneough force to chop mits in two, but will mits react in time?)
Meanwhile, in lone wanderers camp..........
Hey boys, who wants to get me some dinner?
troops: wwwwWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! (i.e. really excited)
Soldier A: She's mine!!
Soldier B: No, she mine, idiot!!
Soldier C: Stop fighting guys, its so immature!
A + B: Shut up, what are you, gay?!
(A riot amongst the troops ensues, confusing it and lowering unit moral.
Aw shucks, no need to fight over lil 'ol me! Oh well, looks like my job is done.
(Diao Chan makes her getaway back to the Qin Camp.)
Ahh Seems like Qin Is here. So Zhang Jiao You think that is Pure magic? We'll see once I stop it. Don't you have a cult to preach?
This seems good. I think Zhuge has a plan.
No really? Who knew that he just said it outloud.
We must maintain Our foothold here. We can't let the fool He Jin gain anything here.
Well said Brother! Charge!
"There's so much smoke and confusion on the battlefield that I cant tell what's happening?"
"Mits is firing arrows at Qin all by himself, while Lu By slashes at him from behind. Lone's unit is going downhill, away from the battle apparently, but he's surrounded by smoke and thinks he's going toward the battle. Zhang Jiao is helping what used to be mits' men try on their turbans."
"Indeed. The Chaos of our Time."
ARRGGHH!!! Get the men and provisions out of here! Lu Bu must silence those archers if we are to relocate to a more secure position!!
HAHAHAHA FOOL, you're MINE!!!!
(Mits, having foolishly forgotten about his battle with LU Bu's unit, is seriously wounded by Lu Bu's Blow, Lu Bu's unit rides down the now exposed ranks of archers, giving the Qin troops enough time to evacuate in an orderly fashion)
We will relocate the camp to that hilltop, follow me!
"Zhang Jiao! Stop that Fire-Attack on the Qin Base!"
"As you WIIISSSHHH!"
*Zhang Jiao's Elemental Powers Summon a Raincloud over the Qin Camp, Putting out the flames*
"MEN! CHAAAARRGEEE!!!"
*Yuan Shao's Unit is Charging Lonewanderer's Unit*
Zhuge Liang - So Much Chaos.....
Lu Xun - Indeed Lord...The Perfect time too....STRIKE!
-Pang Tong Appears Behind the han Forces-
Pang Tong - Have you guys forgot about me From Xu Chang? Nevertheless My name is pang tong. I have been waiting for along time to strike. Now attack Zhang jiao And Destroy that Tornado!
Zhuge Liang - Ahh its never a fight without Tong. Good to see you finally made it. Now one more surprise.
Yue Ying - Looks like you guys forgot about me...Well Its too late now. Hey boys Why fight for the mean han when you can join me?
Soldiers -I wanna join!
Soldier- No Me!
Soldier- We all will fight for you!
Yue Ying - My plan has gone well I have defected many han troops.
You may of Beaten hanzhong....But i'm not that easily beaten...
All Shu Officers - No We are not....Now Battle positions, make up for what we have lost!
Wu officers - You have our Help Lord Voork. Now Charge!!!!
Gan Ning - Now To The Han Main Camp I Run!
"I never thought i'd see the day when Yu Ying of all people could make people defect."
"YOU FOOLS! She's known for her brain not her body!"
*The defecting men are stopped in cunfusion. They are rendered useless to both sides*
"ARG! I'll deal with them later... Yuan Shao! LoneWanderer's unit is finished! Return to the hill and help fight-off whatever the Shu are doing!"
Gan Ning - I think it may be too late He Jin....
- Gan Ning Strikes Yuan Shao Injuring him and stopping him from Combat-
Lu Xun - Those Fools! The plan Has succeded Now Charge the Main Camp!!!
"Damn this sea of endless peasant hordes! I must withdraw!"
*Yuan Shao has withdrawn from the battle*
"Pang Tong is too close to our camp! Fire the Catapults!"
*Pang Tong is hit with a boulder and is knocked unconscious*
With our position secured, it is now time for this game of chess to end. Signal Dong Zhou's unit to strike,............................. NOW!!!
(Dong Zhou's unit appears behind the charging army of Shu. Already tired from the previous fighting, and exhausted from the long charge on the Han camp, Shu troops begin to rout.)
Hunt them down, HUNT THEM DOWN!!! Leave no survivors in this place!!
Excellent, now Lu Bu will close in on the Shu in a double envelopement!! Heh, checkmate!
Hmmm, I still cant find that musou wine......., I beleive I may have been tricked, curses!!
Aie, Lu Bu's unit is still confused?!?!
(Lu Bu's unit is still confused.)
"Ahh if the five post idea is in effect, then Yuan Shao will return to battle after the next post! Bwahahahaha!"
"My Loorrdd! The Chaos of this battle is greeeaatt! We shoulld do soommethingg!"
"Both forces have taken heavy losses. Perhaps we should have a truce and return to out kingdoms. Send forth the messenger!"
*A shadowy figure approaches the Shu lines*
"My Master He Jin the Great bids thee welcome. He suggests that both our sides return to our kingdoms and lick our wounds in preparation for the battles sure to come. Hisssss, what say you Voork Shu-Man?"
Gan Ning - Tong! (Appearing out of the shadow's Gan Ning Grabs Pang tong and Takes him to the Camp) Your safe here buddy!
Pang Tong - Thank....You....
Zhuge Liang - the heavens bid us to withdraw....Wu, hanzhong Back To Xu Chang. Prepare for another fight!(sorry about the double Post)
"Hmm... I'm feeling much better!"
*Yuan Shao has been healed by five posts*
"Hisss... Attention Han, Qin, Wei... All forces of evil... The enemy have apparently agreed to withdraw back to their kingdoms. This battle is over... For now. We should go home and rest and scheeme." "That was a tough battle men. We must report to the Han at once!"
"TROOPS! TO LUO YANG!"
*The Han Forces have left the Battle*
Officers, I think it would be a wise choice to Scower the streets of Xu Chang looking for peasents to fight for us.
-Zhuge Liang and a few Shu officers search Xu Chang for talent-
All I've found were a few peasents and this old man.
Huang Zhong - Who are you calling Old, nevertheless i shall help you fight.
Hmmmm, so the battle is ended? Unlikely, but withdrawl and some consolidation may be in order anyway. Lu Bu, Dong Zhou! Gaurd the armies rear, least we be stricken from behind by treacherous foes. Guo, Zhang, Han!! Prepare the troops, we return home as soon as we are able.
HUA!! BY YOUR COMMAND!!!
My lord, a messenger from-
Yes I know, a propsed alliance, except everyone else now knows of his proposal as well!! How dare he request treachery of me (in the open)!!!!
Meanwhile, at the Impenitrable Fortress of Luo Yang...
"What say you, warrior..."
"MY LIFE FOR HAN!"
*Han has recruited Wen Chou*
"Our forces are strong My Lord."
"Yes my dear. Soon the rebellion will be crushed and the Alliance Officers will be ours. Bwahahahahahahahaha!"
Meanwhile, at the Qin Palace in Chang An....
Yes, our position is most easily defensible. It is only a question of which direction to expand in, South by crushing the city state of Hanzhong, then annexing Shu, or eastward by seizing the Iperial city of Luo Yang, then the central plains and Hua Bei region. East is risky but rewarding, whilst south is easy but less rich. I suppose Qin shall wait and take advantage of any opportunity that comes. PULL!!!
(In the palace square, a catapult launches a random peasent, seized from a village near the last battle as the army marched home, high into the air.)
FIRE!!!!
(One thousand archers stationed in front of the catapult fire in perfect unison, releasing a volley of arrows that rips the peasent sailing in mid-air to shreds. Not a single bolt misses the target.)
HAhaha, what an excellent way to drill our archers! They are the finest in the world!!
"It is ready Mi Lord"
"Ah, Come Forth my dear...Ah, yes. Your new weapon is a masterpiece Zou Ci."
"Thank You Mi Lord. The LASH OF DOOM will serve her most mightily in battle. It has magical powers. It cannot be taken from her and she cannot be kidnapped. Those powers are in addition to its obvious badassery"
"Yes, it is indeed a great weapon Zou Ci."
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