The Writers Lounge Weekly Writers Challenge

And the winner is Foolz3h, because uhh ... because he is!

This weeks challenge extending from Saturday November 28 - December 4 (a new one put up on the 5th) is the following:

- Create a Proverb (a concrete statement which expresses a truth, (some examples are: For there to be peace there must first be war, All is far in love and war, nothing ventured nothing gained, etc. etc.)

- Then create a story either in narrative or poetic form about how this proverb came to be.

"For there to be war there must first be peace."

Once upon a time there were a group of people that lived in perfect happiness together---well perfect happiness presumably going by archeological evidence, and of course their women weren't very happy---going by archeological evidence. This evidence consisted of tools and cave paintings and from these two pieces of fact we can in fact formulate aninterpretation that is scientifically probable and indisputable. For example the fact that male skeletons were buried with knives we know for sure that they were hunters and the fact that women were buried with crushed pelvises we know for sure that mating consisted of brutal rape. Well, that one skeleton anyway.

Monsieur Beviree was a young anthropyologist new to his field. He wanted to prove himself so began work on his new theory: that the fact that these skeletons (beyond the female ones which were generally in bad condition) meant that humanity was previously in a state of constant peace. He did this by looking at latter skeletons where the male ones were often found in worse condition---in different areas and thus obviously members of different tribes! Indeed he conclusively concluded that this was the case, and then indeed theorised that this meant that as the micro-societies grew in size that there was greater competition for the women and this explained the better condition of the female skeletons because their caveman lust could be instead spent beating each other instead of the women, and it also demonstrated that humanity could begin to grow at a faster rate as a broken pelvis isn't very good for reproduction.

This weeks challenge extending from December 7 - December 11 (a new one put up on the 12th) is the following:

^

that's one crazy poem!

Ladies and gentlemen
I thank you for your vote
Even if blindshot, ain't much of a bloke
But do not worry, gentlemen
Don't don't cry too much ladies
For unlike Blindshot, I do not have rabies
So, my dear gentlemen
The first thing I suggest
Is that we call up the police
And force them to arrest
Our dear, dear friend blindshot and deport him to New Orleans
Then the world will be a better place
Well, except for that poor place.

Obviously I win by default! :P

The next challenge is: you wake up tied to a chair with a cigarette lighter in your hand. But it's empty! What do you do? Tell us in short story form!

This weeks challenge extending from December 19 - December 25 (a new one put up on the 26th) is the following:

Tell us in any format how we can make the Writers Challenges more appealing.

Obviously I win by default! :P

Foolz3h

You win possibly, but not by default. BlinDShot didn't say specifically that you had to write a poem, so I didn't.

[QUOTE="Foolz3h"]

Obviously I win by default! :P

waZelda

You win possibly, but not by default. BlinDShot didn't say specifically that you had to write a poem, so I didn't.

Yes, he's right. He wins. I don't have rabies ><

This weeks challenge extending from December 19 - December 25 (a new one put up on the 26th) is the following:

Tell us in any format how we can make the Writers Challenges more appealing.

BlinDShoT95

Sacrifice BlinDShoT. There is no other way. Period.

[QUOTE="BlinDShoT95"]

This weeks challenge extending from December 19 - December 25 (a new one put up on the 26th) is the following:

Tell us in any format how we can make the Writers Challenges more appealing.

lerfish

Sacrifice BlinDShoT. There is no other way. Period.

i second this.

[QUOTE="lerfish"][QUOTE="BlinDShoT95"]

This weeks challenge extending from December 19 - December 25 (a new one put up on the 26th) is the following:

Tell us in any format how we can make the Writers Challenges more appealing.

Foolz3h

Sacrifice BlinDShoT. There is no other way. Period.

i second this.

No no no Ben. It's spelt like this: "Nay" ... go ahead, try again.

[QUOTE="Foolz3h"][QUOTE="lerfish"][QUOTE="BlinDShoT95"]

This weeks challenge extending from December 19 - December 25 (a new one put up on the 26th) is the following:

Tell us in any format how we can make the Writers Challenges more appealing.

BlinDShoT95

Sacrifice BlinDShoT. There is no other way. Period.

i second this.

No no no Ben. It's spelt like this: "Nay" ... go ahead, try again.

Aye, I second this.

The answer was so obvious that no one saw it.

How? How could they make the weekly writers' challenge more appealing? What did they need--what would it take, to reel in the likes of the union's more auspicious writers, such as the infamous grinning devil lying nude on the front porch: iloveflash?

There were some plausible considerations. Sacrifice, brutal rape, christmas gifts... The union clamored together with countless hormone-driven ideas, but they just couldn't hit the golden mark. Of course there were a few worthy ones in the mix, such as extending the challenge from a weekly affair to a grand monthly one, akin to having a new, full-fledged competition with the coming and passing of each month. Or getting rid of the singular tense of the challenge entirely and switching to more plural interests, which would allow each member to tackle the event of their choosing. Even the idea of having challenges where members took direct shots at one another--a possible indirect improvement upon the "collaboration" feature introduced by ero-man iloveflash in 2009--would've pleased the demons for many a dusk or dawn.

However, the master solution was clearer than all of those, but it happened that the loungerinos were really sort of innate outside of their infrequent moments of plush inspiration, and ultimately had too short a collective attention span to see it. Despite all of their many ideas and suggestions, none came close to the fact.

The solution was simply... pants. Just pants. No more writing, no more reading, just... pants. With pants, every challenge would be fun, and every challenge would be worth doing. Because pants is supreme. Pants, is the way of life. Pants is breakfast, pants is lunch. Pants is life, love, and then, ultimately, death. Without pants, there is only shorts. And we all know shorts is for girls. Nobody wants to be a girl wearing shorts. We want to be men wearing pants. Walking, talking, and fighting in pants. The pants of the house, even. Think about that! With a belt around each waist and a Boost'd, Bling'd out phone in each pocket, there is no challenge unheard of by pants. Every great leader wore pants, and conquered nations with it. With pants, we may very well become Gods.

"Place not the pants on the floor, but by our very sides, for they can only guide us there." - iloveflash

Put that in your PSP and play it!

Which one is this? BOTH!

They'd tied me down with pants. All to try and make the union better. By they I mean blindshot95, or whatever he goes by now. He knew that we had planned to suffocate him with pants as a sacrifice to iloveflash's chastity belt, and he wasn't going to go down without a fight. Little did he know that in my cigarette lighter I had hidden a knife. I used that knife to cut the pants away and escaped. He was going down, and the union would be better for it!

I put all the pants in my pants' pocket, and went looking for the traitorous lecher. I found him exactly where I'd expected him to be: obsessing over the prestige points. He was sodistracted that I managed to sneak up behind him and gag him with the pants then tie him up. But I knew it couldn't be so easy. I tore his mask off and found that I had just tied up irmeleeman! I imagined he'd be pretty pissed, and decided to use this to my advantage.

Luckily he hadn't seen me when I gagged him, and I saw the seal rage in his eyes.

"It was Sp---blindshot that did this to you!"

I untied him and without a word he disappeared with his seal-magic. Then I realised that he wouldn'tsacrifice blindshot95! The seals are a politically correct non-denominational killing force. I swam after him and found him playing with a ball. I double checked to make sure that the ball wasn't blindshot95's twisted and broken body, and luckily it was only iloveflash's. I let him carry on, then continued my search for blindshot95.

This time I knew I'd found him! He wasn't in TWL, of course wasn't! No, he'd been banned. But he was on msn. I lured him with discussions about the poetic prodigy competition then just as he went into a long description of the elliptical sonnet I pounced. Pants were tied around throats and the sacrifice was made. Luckily he came back on a different account---this time with the motivation to stay and not post any more porn suicides, and TWL truly was better for it.

Why do I keep coming back here ...BlinDShoT95

You're addicted. it's what we like to call the ILF-effect.

First challenge fo the year:

What catastrophic New Year's Eve related event has befallen our poor old BlindShoT95? Tell us, and you will get prestige points.

Blindshot lost his will to live after reading an upsetting topic on TWL discussing the sacrificing of his own life. So as he watched the fireworks from the near by town from his bedroom window, he decided to end it himself before they could. he packed his bag with 13 pairs of underpants, ILF's chasity belt (which he had stolen) and a single sock. Sliding his way through the slippy snow andice he made his way to the village bridge. Upon the bridge he took the underpants and tied them in a long line then made a loop around his neck with the belt. He tied the other end to a lamp post and somehow tied binded his own hands with the last of the dirty underpants and the sock. He took his place up upon the wall and prepared himself.

Slowly he counted himself as his watch told him the year was about to end...

10...

9...

8...

7...

6...

5...

4...

3...

2...

Then suddenly a car comes charging round the corner on to the bridge and out jumps ILF.

"I'LL TEACH YOU FOR STEALING MY BELT" he bellows reaching for the belt around his neck.

"Oh no" thought Blindshot stepping down from the wall in misery.

Just as his foot hit the floor he slipped on a patch of ice and fell backwards over the wall to his death.

ILF hauled the corpse back up, took back his belt and drove away

THE END.

Winner Lerfsh!

In honour of the runner up and the subject of the winning poem we have a challenge constructed by the runner up himsef!

"Write an affectionate poem to tell of the vast greatness of Foolz3h"

The strawberry candy we call foolz
Is the leader for all us fools
Always there when sparky's not
Always making iloveflash hot
Posting tons of work from time to time
Oops, sorry for this desperate rhyme
May you never grow old and never die
Hooray for you - here, take som pie

----

PS: If you don't get the reference at the start of the poem, it refers to him being level 50.

PS2: Notice that I didn't consider it a chance he would not get the refernce himself.

PS3: Why do I talk about him in third person when hardly anyone but him visits this thread.

Foolz3h is awesome, no really he is
Leader of the writers lounge, discipliner of kids
(That is, the other members)
He does, all the work even the officers sit back
(Who only post regularly in December)
While he posts challenges, prestige points and does crack
All because of the stress of the job
But his dedication is relentless so he hasn't yet stopped.

Winner waZelda: "I say the other fellow for this cunning use of Swedish
 "take som pie"

New Challange Alakingkilla3:

"Write the plot summary of a movie for Jack Black, may he finally change character archetype. (Ie. it must not be a goofy rock comedy!)
 And make it awkward!"

"Write the plot summary of a movie for Jack Black, may he finally change character archetype. (Ie. it must not be a goofy rock comedy!)

 And make it awkward!"

Foolz3h

That's not a part of me quote!

[QUOTE="Foolz3h"]"Write the plot summary of a movie for Jack Black, may he finally change character archetype. (Ie. it must not be a goofy rock comedy!)

 And make it awkward!"

kingkilla3

That's not a part of me quote!

I added it in due to your lack of iteration as it need to be iterated on so now I had to iterate.

The film opens with Jack Black awakining in the bed of a woman he doesn't know. He freaks out, and despite there being an axe on the wall he doesn't go into a sorrowful rock solo. The woman freaks out, and does. He notices she's strangely beautiful and tries to remember what happened the previous night. The film continues as they reluctantly eat breakfast together. He finds a strange machine in the closet. There's a clock on it and a flux capacitator. The woman comes up to him and tells him she's pregnant. He's confused, how could she know soon? She tells him it's one of these new instant pregnancy testers in the toilet that analyzises your urine as you urinate. To calm himself he reads the newspaper and finds that it's the year 2099! He freaks out again and realises he must be a time traveller, though the bottles of alcohol in the house would say otherwise. He walks past more rock instrument as he tries to get his head around things, but then the woman says that she has to go back to the year 2050! HE wasn't the time traveller after all! As he stumbles through the house in his hung over stupor he finds a photograph that looks a lot like the woman when she's older---his grandmother.

DUN DUN DUN!

Quite an unsuccessful challenge! I would write something, but... kingkilla3

And it is entirely your fault!