The Writers Lounge Weekly Writers Challenge

When given the wrong pizza
through a devilish ploy
I have no other choice
but to eat my model of Troy.

 :P

BlinDShoT95

Doctors say you can get herpes like that. Helen was no virgin, you know!

[QUOTE="BlinDShoT95"]

When given the wrong pizza
through a devilish ploy
I have no other choice
but to eat my model of Troy.

:P

iloveflash

Doctors say you can get herpes like that. Helen was no virgin, you know!

Not after she met Troy anyway.

I've heard rumour that Troy was the first recorded case of herpies, and Helen was the second. The irony.

I open the box, expecting a wonderful pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and eight medium slices. What I find is an anchovi pizza with no cheese and four tiny squares. I have been given the wrong pizza. Revenge must happen.

I pick up my pump action shotgun and run out into the rain, lightning and snow. Feeling the weather pelting against my skin, I remember the $8 tip I'd given the pizza boy. The thief. Thinking about it makes me mad, and I turn super saiyan and jump into the air and fly away at supersonic speed.

I arrived over the pizza place, only to find that it is closed. Enraged, a throw my shotgun at it and a massive explosion erupts, obliterating the pizza place. I scream into the air and then start shooting hadouken fireballs at the pizza place. Suddenly I see a man standing to the side of the road, watching me shoot down the place with a horrified expression. It is the manager of the pizzeria. I aim my hand at him and fire another hadouken.

He slaps the sides of his face in shock and leaps awkwardly out of the fireball's range, causing it to miss and hit a firehidrant instead. Now I'm going to be fined by the fire department... Enraged even further, I become an ascended super saiyan. Sadly, all the electricity turns me into a human lightning pole, so I get struck by lightning. Angered like never before, I ascend even further to super saiyan three, then I see the moon and half-transform into a golden oozaru, before finally shrinking back and becoming a super saiyan 4. All the rapid transformations eff up my digestive system, and so my hunger fades away.

I swoop down and shove the box of pizza (it was in my other hand the whole time) up the manager's ass. Then I beat him at chess and become the new chess champion. That makes me happy, so I go home and sleep butt-naked on the cold, hard floor. Still being super saiyan 4, however, one sneeze during the night causes me to blow up my entire house by accident. I would later make an underground lair and become a villain of all things pizzeria. No, wait, a SUPER-villain. With ray guns and stuff. And a cute secratary.

I pick up my pump action shotgun ... and I turn super saiyan and jump into the air and fly away at supersonic speed.iloveflash

Why would a Super Saiyan have a pump-action shotgun? It just perplexes me ... If I could throw a fireball, I'd throw a ***** fireball, not use a shotgun --- hell i'd be the shotgun :P

I'd be greater than the shotgun. I'd be an ascended super-shotgun.iloveflash

Still doesn't answer why you have a pump-action shotgun :P

[QUOTE="iloveflash"]I'd be greater than the shotgun. I'd be an ascended super-shotgun.BlinDShoT95

Still doesn't answer why you have a pump-action shotgun :P

Because what's cooler than a super saiyan? A super sayain with a pump-action shotgun.

it's the safest way for him to pump-action anyway, if he were to try pumping-action himself the world would probably be destroyed.

Challenge:

So, you're starving hungry, and finally the pizza arirves, only it's the wrong pizza! The driver's already gone, and the pizza shop has closed. (It was the last delivery of the day.) Describe what you do next.

Foolz3h

I jump up and start punching the wall until my knuckles bleed, then I think "what the heck", eats the pizza anyways and discover that I like it even more than the one I ordered. After that, I go to the hospital to get my knuckles checked.

And the winner is ......

 To Be Announced!

 The writing challenge for the week of Oct 10 - 16 (new one put up on the 17) is the following:

Write a short story that includes a sewing kit, a broken lock and an argument.

Go, go, go!

"I'm not going to!"
"Oh yes you are!"
"Why?!"
"Because you're the only one that fits!"
"But it's all your fault!"
"So? Don't inside too?"

We continued arguing while our neighbour unknowingly snuck up into our conversation:

"Problem Mrs. Rogers?"
"Oh .. no me and David just can't get into the house. We can't get it to unlock, I think its-"

I couldn't pass up an oppurtunity to be a smartalec, "David and I"

Mom didn't like this too much, and our neighbour, whatever his name was, wasn't either. Though he a thing for my mom so I guess he's not too bad -- meaning if I need something, I can problably get it from him.

Our neighbour looked into the lock, and quickly ran back to his house.

My mother took this an opportunity to further try to exploit me: "You just need to climb up and go through your window"

"Oh that esay eh? Just do it yourself!"

"David, you know I can't."

"Well, niether can I"

Just then our niehgbour reappeared with a green garbage bag; "This should do the trick."

Finally someone studipder than the kids I went to school with; "With a garbage bag?"

He kneeled down, smiling, "No, its what inside the garbage bag. I use it all the time, it gets me through the night you know?"

Too easy, "Your porn?"

My mother shot me that look you get when you go too far, but our neighbour didn't see it, and thus couldn't be insultated. I mean he didn't want to seem like a jerk if my mom didn't care. Laughing he said, "Oh no David, its my sewing kit!"

"A sewing kit?"

"Well yeah, it's a life saver you know"

He took out a long threading needle from the kit, and began to prod and prod inside the key slot. We moved in closer and closer to see what our neighbour was doing, but then it hit us like a ton of bricks ....

To Be Continued

Note: I will probably never continue this story so here are a bunch of possible endings:

- Bomb:

It hit us like a ton of bricks ... it was, well a ton of bricks. We must've triggered a bomb. or something ....

- Uselessness:

It hit us like a ton of bricks ... our neighbour had no damn idea what he was doing. He was so wrapped up in impressing my mom that he just ending up wasting our time. Worst Christmas ever.

- Stupidity:

It hit us like a ton of bricks ... this wasn't our house, no wonder our key didn't work.

---

And the winner is ......

Meeeee 

^ Default! Default! Default!

Anyway, the writing challenge for the week of Oct 17 - 23 (new one put up on the 24) is the following:

Write an advertisment targetted at an age group for a product they really don't need [or doesn't apply to them] (Ex. A Credit Card for a toddler; etc]. This can be done via poem, ganster-rap (just for you foolz), or any other form that you deem appropriate to market your product!

Go, go, go!

Are you tired of masturbating :avatar:

Does your vagina burn when you rub it too hard? :avatar:

Is your right arm too big to fit in those green jammies you got from mommy last christmas because you whack off way too often? :avatar:

Well, masturbate no more! Introducing the new Personal Computer by Fischer Price! Using microchip technology in conjunction with a wide screen display, you can masturbate painlessly and effortlessly with your eyes, reaching an orgasm of goody good goodness inside your head EVERY TIME!

Just turn on your Personal Computer and log into Windoors, use the attached Optical Mouse peripheral to move the arrow on the screen, get to clicking, and you're off to the land of no return! Enjoy countless hours of brain pleasure in the comfort of your own home, with software such as: F***ingfox, Internets Exploring, Vagina Safari, and more! You'll never have a bad experience with masturbation again!

Forget those clunky devices that you have to plug in and then Shove In to get your five minutes of happy time. With the Personal Computer by Fischer Price, you can have happy time all the time; just pay for internets and electric bills! It's that easy!

Products by the leading pron companies will charge you hundreds of dollars for devices that just don't work. But if you call now, you'll get the Personal Computer by Fischer Price for only ten easy payments of $19.99! Just pay shipping, handling, internets and electric bills! You won't find a product like this in stores anywhere! EVER!

To get the Personal Computer by Fischer Price, just call 1-800-KIDS TOY. Rush delivery availible! Don't spend another minute bulking up that right arm; get the Personal Computer by Fischer Price, and send the simulated pleasure of sexual intercourse straight to your brain!

Call now! Call now! CALL NOW! :avatar:

*television screech*

[Please stand by, we are experiencing technical difficulties.]

I was going to enter, but then I realised there was Flash's entrry! Damn it.Foolz3h

 You still have a few hours to post! Enter anyway!

How many times have you slept the whole day only to wake up hungry as hell? How many times have you slept through the most exciting moments in your house only to lay awake in the scary darkness of night? How many times have had you had to someone half-asleep change your diaper because you didn't cry earlier?

Well fear no longer, your go-gahs have been answered! New from Baby-Best Friends is our one-of-all-fully-durable-waterproof-and-simply-phenominal Baby Alarm Clock! It comes complete with songs by Metallica, Johnny Cash and DJ Tiesto. You will wake up every day loving life and rocking out! No longer will you be suppressed by inconvienant naps that just flat out ruin your day.

And the winner is ...

Flash ...

Because I can't win!

Anyway, the writing challenge for the week of Oct 24 - 31 (New one will be put up on the first of novemeber) is the following:

Write any piece with the following criteria:

- Your first line is:

I believe that it began as I ...

- Your last line is:

And that is where _______________

----

^ (My favourite is 'and that is where babies come from')

Note: You can change the tense of the words I gave you, but that's it!

Go, go, go!

I believe it began as I found out where babies came from. It was first hand experience. it was the fifties, and I really had no idea. So believe my surprise when nine months after putting something in hte area of question something came out!

This obviously should have meant marriage for me, but luckily this was the fifties, so the baby was merely adopted and sent away. Much better for all parties involved, especially as she was a crack ****. Thank God for social services.

However I was in for another surprise when thirty years later this child---now a man---appeared on my door step. He blamed me for bandoning his mother, and I tried to reason with him that it was the fifties, and we were paving the way for the sexual revolution, and it wasn't our fault, but he wouldn't liste.

And this is where I found out that had to start paying for his tuition at University---God damn social services.

And the Winner is Foolz3h. Yay.

The writing challenge for the week of Oct 31 - Nov 6 (new one put up on the 7th) is the following:

Write absolutely anything, the only stipulation is that it the location (and time) if your story must be Writers' Lounge 2852

Hm, difficult one. I'm sure honkyjoe's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son's son will be writing a story set in the early twentyfirst century while all flash's 1 235 693 offsprings will be writing random comedy pieces with titles like Clang and Bipo-bipo. There will also be a proof-reading club in the union called "children of Foolz."

Oh, and of course the union will have its own country by then. The country will be ruled by president sparky (who in 2058 invented a cure against aging, which he only used on himself). When he is not around (which is 90 percent of the time), the country will be governed by the Aberinkulas clan whose power will have increased a lot by then - they even managed to get voted through a law that says all reviews are to be subjective.

Pornographic suicides are just the beginning
There's head shaving, vlog and dirty living
And he is the one that used to lead them?
Turning them into his own perverted children.

Take a look at Flash
That poor poor man
Too far gone; he must be hanged!
But even so his last word would be :avatar:
And he wouldn't stop fapping as he departed here.

Then there's mprezzy who found he couldn't change the game
Or was that Clandiestien?
Another example of in-jokes and references that nobody gets
It must be Foolz3h: clinically diagnosed
As being sick in the head.

His sister's even worse
Posting one flash fiction every few months
Then spamming the board with pictures of Summer
Just so Flash can confess that he loves her
Nevertheless there's many left
Yet all is said, and not much has been done
So I'll stop now; I've had my fun.

:X You're late! You're late! There has been no challenge throught the seventh OR eighth!

I'm back! At least for today, anyway...

And the Winners are waZelda & Foolz3h, yay!

The writing challenge for the week of Nov 8 - Nov 13 (new one put up on the 14th) is the following:

Critque the quality of the air around you

As of late, I have been repeatedly let down by the atmosphere that I live and breathe in. Confined to my petite 3x4, it really strikes hard when the very fumes that enter my nostrils become, for a lack of a better word, displeasing. Whether it may be due to an abundance of noxious gases released by a factory a dozen miles away, or the comparably uninviting scents of the local flatulences - the other inhabitants of my cage being the culprits of such phenomena - any unwanted disruption or alteration of the air is, simply put, quite amplified.

However, those particular maladies is rudimentary and trivial in the overall scheme of things; the air is not only fickle and unstable in its composition, level of hazard and scent, it is also, quite simply put, boring. To think that such an entity so essential to our lives - no matter where we belay our bodies - is, at the same time, so dastardly uninteresting is a travesty! Where are your expressions, hmm, air? From whence come your whooshes and your phews, and why does it produce little sound greater than that which it does by nature?

And, yet, we can see that it has massive potential; from the very nature of all that envelopes us, we have forged our whistles and our fans, our exhaust pipes and our cigarettes. But rarely does the air itself aspire to be more than its dormant, inactive self; not often does a storm of furious wind sweep the Earth's landscapes bare, or a cyclone cleave a swath of trimmed and tamed material through this world's green and grassy surface.

So, we can therefore conclude that the air, unfortunately, is unambitious, choosing a life of unmoving stillness dotted by the occassional tale of fury - wait, wait, have I just described man? :o

It's hot and sticky. After a violent heatwave it's clear that it's going to rain. Surely that would be some sort of relief? No, a humid 25 is far worse than a dry 35. To make matters worse it's dusty, so even if rain can't creep its way in through the window, the moisture can collect on the dust and you may as well be stuck out in the warm rain with it dripping down your body like sweat.

In fact it's thick with the smell of my own sweat. A game of tennis has only made matters worse. Outside not far away there's a strong smell of rancid tea. What the hell is it and how it got there who knows? It's right next to the rose bush too, surely that should sweeten the air a little. But it just seems to magnify it. 

The clouds hang about like big leviathians of fog and slip thickly into my lungs. I missed my atrovent this morning, so it sits on my breath with phleghm and coughs and makes me wish I had some antibiotics and antinflamatories and any sort of anties which would help the situation. But all that would is air conditioning, which would just make my bones ache.

Air sucks, if only we didn't have to breath it.

As I sit in a dorm room,
the air is choking me,
and suffocating my soul.
I cough and sneeze-
reactions eyond my control.
And I open my eyes,
blinded by everything around.
Then I take off the shopping bag,
and put it on the ground :P

For the record, I didn't actually have a plastic bag on my head :P

And the winner is .... Barbriser

Simply because ... "therefore conclude that the air, unfortunately, is unambitious,"

Thanks to all those who participated!

- Barbriser, Foolz3h, and myself (BlinDShoT!)

The writing challenge for the week of Nov 14 - Nov 20 (new one put up on the 21st) is the following:

Write an ode to an unlikely object of your love.

For the record, I didn't actually have a plastic bag on my head :P

BlinDShoT95

But the air still choked you!?

My Entry:

Oh my lovely lamp,
How your existence dazzles
The most simple minds.

Yay! We're all winners!

Thanks to all those who participated!

- Foolz3h and BlinDShoT95

The writing challenge for the week of Nov 21 - Nov 27 (new one put up on the 28th) is the following:

Write an Acrostyic Poem using the letters of our unions name (in order):

W
R
I
T
E
R
S

L
O
U
N
G
E

Writing toward
Revolution,
It is ever so fun, and not much of a
Test.
Either you join, or you cannot gain
Redemption, or
Salvation in the face of your coming death.

Love the community,
Or not.
U really can be the one to choose,
Not that we like haters anyway.
Glad you joined,
Everyone is excited to see your work.

... I actually hate this, but it makes me laugh so it is almost acceptable.

Wiggler'll squirm
Ramram be hit by fruit
Iggi must bow
Thwomp'll miss
Eggbert be thrown back
Rex be stomped twice
Seems no ones stopping Mario now

Lakitu will fall
Octo be wiped away
Unagi be tricked
Ninjoe be beaten
Gombas be stomped
Everyone must bow to king Mario

(Special thanks to Super Mario Wiki for providing such a grand list of Mario enemies).

Felt like writing another entry ...

Would writing compel you
Right now to join, to rise
In such a celebration
That every friend and foe has come to enjoy.
Even Ethertwilight has emerged from the trenches,
Rendering poetic beauty with the mere flick of his wrists.
So alas I implore you, right now to join.

Lounge in the writing world,
Or take effort to heart.
Understand that within these walls
No one is out of place. With
Greatness our goal that always, always
Ensues.

Not bad for a first try, I guess. I tried to keep each line as short as possible, 'tis how I prefer my acrostics.

Wrists
Red from typing
I think it's
Time
Essay writing
Requires
Sleep, at least some

Lying
On the concrete mattress
Under the paperthin comforter
Nah, I think I'll
Go write another
Entry

What
Ridiculous
Internet
Types
Envying
Robust
Snakes

Like
Or
Unlike
No
Grammar
Escapes

Edit: Ja, I did it the hard way.

Loldead just owned it.iloveflash

lerfish just took it.iloveflash

Horray for a new winner every post!

[QUOTE="iloveflash"]Loldead just owned it.BlinDShoT95

lerfish just took it.iloveflash

Horray for a new winner every post!

And you wanted him to judge on the poertry comp!

[QUOTE="BlinDShoT95"]

[QUOTE="iloveflash"]Loldead just owned it.Foolz3h

lerfish just took it.iloveflash

Horray for a new winner every post!

And you wanted him to judge on the poertry comp!

who?

and yayyyyyyy

[QUOTE="BlinDShoT95"]

[QUOTE="iloveflash"]Loldead just owned it.Foolz3h

lerfish just took it.iloveflash

Horray for a new winner every post!

And you wanted him to judge on the poertry comp!

He'd have been a figurehead, and nothing more :P

This is awesome guys! I love the amount of participation this week! It's totally like awesome and such :P

What was that?
Rambunctious youngsters
In the internet
That's a typo! It should be on the internet
Er, my mistake, don't take offence
Really, you should take the time to proof read!
Sorry again, I'll try harder next time

Lord, there's iloveflash, flashing his avatar
Or...oh God! That's not his avatar he's flashing
Unrelenting in his pursuit of fapping
No escape from his mental rape
Good God make it stop!
End this now!