...is wow. I'm not proud of it but I was really pissed off for the second time with week and decided to get drunk alone again. I ended up sobering up around 4 but not before I threw up twice and accidently dented my wall. So anyway my parents are really pissed because they saw how much I drank and are making me go triple time on my counseling sessions for it because supposedly I'm dealing with anger through drinking but I'm not, I was bored. It wasn't even that bad, I remember most of it but I'm kind of glad to be getting rid of drinking 'problem.' My name is Donna and I'm an alcoholic. :\

Everything is much much better now. Life's good again. So my boyfriend did absolutely the cutest thing ever. Well weird and kind of mean, but cute. He is NOT the type to sing and I use to love singing, and I always try to get him to sing a little for me. Anyway this morning at like 7 he calls my phone (which was on vibrate so I didn't hear it) and leaves a message and he sang the entire "Just the Girl" by Click Five song for me. I was CRACKING UP sooooooo hard. It was really cute cause if you listen to the lyrics it's soo me. I'm such a biitch to him and he still loves me. Well it was really really cute and I love him for that. I wanted to forward it to my friend but I pressed 7 instead of 8 and it deleted :-\ Looooooooooove, Dizz! P.S. I'm baaack in the game in case anyone missed me not posting for two weeks :P Except I'm on Saturday next week for another weeklong trip.

Everything is much much better now. Life's good again. So my boyfriend did absolutely the cutest thing ever. Well weird and kind of mean, but cute. He is NOT the type to sing and I use to love singing, and I always try to get him to sing a little for me. Anyway this morning at like 7 he calls my phone (which was on vibrate so I didn't hear it) and leaves a message and he sang the entire "Just the Girl" by Click Five song for me. I was CRACKING UP sooooooo hard. It was really cute cause if you listen to the lyrics it's soo me. I'm such a biitch to him and he still loves me. Well it was really really cute and I love him for that. I wanted to forward it to my friend but I pressed 7 instead of 8 and it deleted :-\

5:30 and I'm so awake. This is bad. School is in 3 weeks and if I keep going out at night like this, then that'll be a problem. New York with some friends tomorrow. I don't know if I want to go. I'll probably change my mind last minute, knowing me. Things have definitely been better than they are now, a trip to New York while all my friends party and I just sit out will not make anything better. Update: (7:30 am) Well I didn't sleep last night. I tried and all but I have so much on my mind it just keeps me up. I refuse to be one of those pathetic women who cry themselves to sleep at night. I'd rather just stay awake. So anyway I'm going to take a run. It's really cool outside, so better now than later. And update on the New York situation, I'm nooooot going. :D Donna.

This is so not good. I'm really not doing so well. -Donna.

Almost at my goal. http://dgrassiparadise.proboards61.com/index.cgi PLEASE JOIN. It has no rules and has all these different layouts (even a TvT replica) and it rocks. We need you all. We have around 50 members I think, and it's active and everything. COME. NOW. Dizzzzzzzz

I still feel really gross and sick. I promised myself I'd tell my mom if this feeling didn't go away, but I think I already know why I'm feeling like this, and if I go get checked up it'll just confirm what I'm dreading. Dizz.

One of my best friends growing up, Becca, should be celebrating her 17th birthday today. She can't because she's in South Carolina in rehab. Just wanted to dedicate that to her. Anyway, I'm so dead tired I don't know what wrong. I haven't been eating and I've had no energy. I know, I probably have no energy because I haven't been eating but I'm just not hungry. I've been avoiding the kitchen because everytime I go near there I feel sick. I don't know what's wrong. Anyway, if I don't get better by tomorrow, I'm going to tell my mom and then I'll have to see my psychiatrist and go to the doctor because this are probably severe side effects of my medications or some bullshiit like that. My friends and I were going to go party to celebrate Becca's 17th even though she's not there, but since I'm not feeling well, I'm going to stay home and rest. Blah, Fizzler.

I know this is a sore subject but I seriously want to know your take on them. It's just that I've always said to myself if I get pregnant as a teenager I'd never have an abortion, having a kid wouldn't be so bad. But now the more I think about it, the more I think I'd definitely want an abortion. I'm not pregnant, but it's just been on my mind. I could NEVER in a million years EVER give a child up for adoption (where is he/she now? Is he/she okay? Does he/she know about me? Does he/she want to meet me? Is he/she living a better life I could ever give them? Can I go find them? You get it...) but my life is as amazing as it can get right now and I don't want a child who will fuuck it up. I've been working for a six pack and I'm getting there. I also drink and party a lot, am I ready to give that up? I'm doing so well in school and I'm thinking about college and I'm excited for it. I'm starting to play soccer again and I use to be really good and I'm going to take up my WAGS division team which has three practices a week and two games sometimes. A kid will ruin all this for me. I'm on the pill so I shouldn't be worried, but I am because I don't take birth control all the time because when I'm angry taking my medications for my disorder I just don't take any pills at all. This happens often. Then there is the fact that I'm scared to have an abortion because I am bipolar and I know coping with be 100 times worse for me. I'll be in therapy for weeks straight. I don't know but this subject just hit me and I want to be ready. Any thoughts? Sincerely yours, Miserable Dizzy.

No, it's Super-Friend! Yessir, I'm on Level 8. I'm getting closer to my goal of Level 15 by the end of summer. I've been basically leveling up every day or two, so I'm on schedule. Anyway, I had my birthday yesterday. Not my real one, long story, but it was like a real one. I did reeeeeally well in the gifts department, lol. I'm not going to Miami because it conflicts with another two trips I'm taking this summer. So I'm done working out. I was going to dye my hair black again this morning, but I realized late last night that by the time school comes around, my roots will already be out and everything so I decided to wait. Maybe I just chickened out because I secretly like my hair the color it is originally? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure I want to color my hair black again. It looks cute I guess. I'm lisening to Back To One which is my song with Chase. It's making me cry. I miss him. Dizz out.