Um...so...Lani wrote that fic that TaZ challenged her to. Some of you may know TaZ as Stacy but Lani calls her TaZ cuz its like 'rawr sexy'. *is stalling* Um...so here it is...Um...continue rocking out.

I was gonna either ramble/rant or pull a Lil for part three. But I pulled a LIl like all day on my bday and I'm having too good of a day to rant

My older sister is here. :):) She is a piece of awesome. I will have quotes by the time she leaves. My brother called me on my birthday and said 'be all you can be, when you're 20.' And my dad wrote on the package tht Ellen and Lil sent me. They got me a Batman Dark Knight action figure which I'm going to keep in the box and put on the wall. So, today has been pretty good so ar. We shall see.

Happy hunting ;)

Part one was a ray of sunshine, no? *lol cuz I put sunsh!t* :lol: Thanks for the encouraging comments I really needed those. I always depressed around my birthday. Well I'm over it and was gonna do an icon post on TWB's creative LJ but, *points to blog title* I WAS going to post some here but photobucket gets fisted. Yes. So I'm thinking of creating a 'boo photobucket' club. Who wants to join?

UPDATE: Mkay, I posted the icons to my own journal. This is the link. If you have LJ go ahead and friend me but this blog will be locked after today.

Happy birthday to me ;)

This is part 1/3 blogs that I'm doing to celebrate/mourn this day.

This is probably the most depressing blog I've written so far.

I asked my mom if I was an @sshole She honestly replied with 'sometimes'. Well, sometimes, I hate being an @sshole Sometimes I hate being dubbed the @sshole of the Wendy Bunch. I hate being the rudely honest one because everyone else wants to be nice about it. I hate the way it makes me feel. I hate that its only accepted from me because I never was a nice person anyway. What is nice exactly? Life sucks. And the people who know that fact and are brave enough to face it are the ones who are successful. The ones who don't feel like its even worth it kill themselves. Still brave. I don't know about you but I'm a coward regarding suicide. Sure, I tried to kill myself with damn near choking on sleeping pills that I could barely swallow. Tried to bleed out by slitting my wrists...funny thing regarding that is when it seemed like I was finally going to be successful with that, I was scared. Took back all the times I cut myself. Never did it again. Ever since I refused to be that selfish. Ever since I've been living for other people. I didn't move to Oklahoma when I graduated high school because I couldn't leave Nels by herself to deal with her f*cked up parents. I didn't stay with my dad after mom moved back to the states because she had a drinking problem and I felt that I had to take care of her. I never do anything for myself anymore. Maybe that's why finding a balance between you guys and real life will never work. Because I hate my life. I hate my life and just about everyone in it. You guys make me feel loved and wanted, whether I'm the designated b!tch or not. In real life I feel like I'm just a function. 'Go here' 'do that' etc etc etc. It's never about me and when it is its always something bad. Leilani is a screw up who will never find her nitch in life. She'll always have to depend on other people. She'll never be like her brother, who has a great life with his spouse, a good job and a son with another on the way. Leilani will never be able to survive on her own, like her sister who was put out at age 16/17 and make a living and will eventually end up better off. Leilani will never be like that. Leilani doesn't even know what she wants to do with her meaningless life. She doesn't even know why she keeps on living...until she logs onto the computer. I swear if anyone really knew how much you guys save me, I wouldn't be getting any sh!t over talking to you guys all the time. If people knew all the sh!t I've ever done...they wouldn't look at me the same. And honestly I don't think I could live with crushing everyone elses image of me. I can't really be who I truly am around everyone. And when I am I'm labeled. B!tch, rude, sarcastic, smart ass, witty blah blah blah. Why can't I just be me to other people? Why can't I just be Leilani, the depressed, insightful, sarcastic, maladjusted and unforgiving girl who would rather be invisible? Why can't I just be her? Why? Because no one likes the truth of the matter. No one likes who Leilani really is. Not even Leilani.

Happy birthday to me.

I'm done with CSI Miami. It's not even hiphugger's fault really...well ok it is, but not entirely. Its mostly because Calleigh can't move her face. No really, she can't. And it annoys me greatly to the point where I can't watch the show anymore. That was just the icing on the cake for me.

First, it was the loss of meaningful cases. Seriously, if you're poor in Miami you're safe. They don't follow through with a story arc at all. And then the way people died was like 'really writers? Really? Oh, you're serious?' I think the writers hate the show. They want it to tank so they can move onto something else. Which is sad.

Then it was the characters. Horatio got on my ever loving nerves after season 3. He cannot stand still and that worries me. Like, he needs to seek help for that cuz that's not normal. And then Calleigh...I can't stand the character now. Ok yeah, I get that she changed after Speedle died but COME ON. WHY ARE YOU STILL WEARING ALL BLACK YEARS AFTER HE'S BEEN BURIED?!?! Even Alexx, who was Speed's HOMIE FOR LIFE, didn't mourn that long. Eric...the manhoe. It's a shame really. Adam Rodriguez is quite attractive...but Eric probably has an STD. Alexx left and I was like 'damn this show is going to REALLY suck now' which it does. Granted, the new M.E. knows what she's doing, but she didn't bring that authority female figure that the show needs because Calleigh and Natalia are NOT the ones for that job. And she seems to have flirted with Eric. A very bad sign indeed. I'm troubled by it. Valera...well she redeemed herself but her new hair style is like...I wondered if she was a man the first time I saw her. Like 'that is one curvy ma- omg that's Valera!' And poor Ryan. Why is he on the show? He just appears now to rattle off some results and laugh at suspects. Nothing in the world is that funny Ryan, nothing. He has less lines than Horatio does. That is not ok, seeing as how Horatio had no more than like 15 lines in this last episode.

I would try and keep watching the show, but like it has become the Mac and Stella show in NY, these Hiphugger episodes make me sick. Ok, Eric wants him some Calleigh. So does half the lab...and some of the females for that matter. I can tolerate that. What I can't deal with is that Calleigh knows he wants her and she won't talk about it. She's stringing him along which is SO out of character for her. But the real reason I can't watch the show anymore is stated above. Calleigh can't move her face. She tried to wag her eyebrows and her ENTIRE FACE moved. Botox is not the answer Emily Proctor. It's just not.

So I'm done with Miami. Let me know if there is going to be an episode with Sofia Milos in it. I'll watch that.

Happy hunting. ;)

'Sup. This is the EOTM blog. We have a lot to catch up on I'd imagine. Mind if I ramble? Well I'm going to do it anyway.

Crazy lady

Well, I feel like an ass regarding her. I stopped 'working' for her. Let me explain why, yeah? First off, she thinks she knows me when she really doesn't. I mean really, no one is in my head like she thought she was...accept my aunt but that's different. Basically, the crazy lady put herself up on a pedestal that she had no right to. She tried to call me her daughter. Yeah...I have two moms so....uh, no. Then she tried to call herself my 'spiritual mother'. Like ok, wtf is that? In any case, it upset me. There are few people in this world that I call Momma *insert name here* and those people earned it. Crazy lady didn't earn squat. Moving on...I wasn't getting paid enough. $25 dollars a week, three days a week for two hours isn't enough for sh!t. And I was cleaning her house. Add onto the fact that I live far from her...she was basically paying me to see her and nothing more. Forget the CLEANING I did. Yeah, ok, 25 is better than nothing but after all that crap and then have to endure her mood swings where she was all possessive...I don't think you understand. Quotes (thoughts in my head are in red):

*cleaning the office*
CL: you're just too good.
me: *tries not to pay attention*
CL; You know you're good. I want you all to myself
me: :|

CL: you know you have a bedroom you could stay in back there.
Me: *in my head* I will never be that intoxicated to ever consider this place a safe haven

CL: you're late
me: I had to take my gramma home because we went to the hospital to see my grandpa
CL: he's in the hospital
me: no sh!t. Yeah...
CL: well next time I'll go up there with you...and tell him that you're mine
Me: :|

CL; you had something you needed to do?
me: yeah
CL: what?
Me: that is none of your f*ckin business. I'm going to help my friend's aunt move
CL: why
Me: because her daughter is my goddaughter
CL: why?
Me: *leaves*

CL: were you going to cook for me?
Me: Yeah
*twenty minutes later*
CL: I need you to cook for me tomorrow because I'm going to a funeral and we have to bring a dish
Me: no
CL: *swells up* What?! You're not going to cook!!! You just said you were
Me: I said I'd cook for you and your husband, not a bunch of people I don't know
CL: *mad face*
Me: *doesn't care* *walks to kitchen*
CL: *follows in my face**trips on fan*
Me: *catches CL* You ok?
CL: *points* You...you
Me: Uh, no you did that to yourself.

Cherry on top: You know that thing you do to baby's tummy's and they giggle like crazy. Yeah, she did that to my neck when I hugged her, then again when I hugged her to leave, then again the next day. Uh...no. Haven't spoken to her since. I needed an adult. LOL I texted Jenne when she did it the second time and Jenne, bless her, was like 'tell her I said stop'. :lol:

Uncle

I think I hate the man. No, seriously. Its not even the pissy smell anymore. He tries to psychoanalyze me. It's **** irritating. Some of you know about the video game incident where he stepped in front of the TV while I was 'in the zone'. Yeah...he pulled that 'I thought we were friends' sh!t again. Sometimes I wanna yell 'STOP TALKING TO ME OLD MAN. I HATE THE AIR YOU BREATHE'. And please, someone, tell me wtf happened in 1975 that was just so damn amazing that he KEEPS BRINGING IT UP. In every damn conversation we have 'I could take you back to 1975'. I could care less but then I'd be dead. He thinks I know nothing about everything. I recently told him that I was going to get him hooked on the Justice League ya know. I'm just trying to let him in my world, something he so desperately wants. He responds with 'well you know I was a Marvel (comics) fan and' blah blah blah. I mean if you don't wanna watch it, don't f*ckin watch it. But don't give me the history on Spiderman just because you think its relevant...because its sooooooooo not. The man is stuck in his past and its so sad.

Plus he's sensitive. Like, b!tch sensitive. Ok, for the females here, image you on your period. You want some **** chocolate. You have no way of getting any and you have a hissy fit about it. He's like that. All. The. Time. After some drama that went down in the family, my brother called me. It was early morning so I'm asleep. Apparently my brother said something like 'hey, where's Leilani'. My uncle got offended. 'He didn't even speak to me' blah blah blah !thc b!tch b!tch At least he said 'hey'. Assh*le runs with my siblings I swear. My brother is a big enough ass to just be like 'Where's Leilani?' Serious, bro was being nice. So an hour after I get off the phone with my brother, my uncle calls him like 'I didn't appreciate the way you talked to me and I'm a cry baby who cries about dumb sh!t because I have nothing else to do so everyone should pity me.'...ok he didn't say all that but that's basically the point. I don't like whiners...unless they amuse me...but if they do it too often I want to kill them. And I want to kill him. Anyone have any advice for not getting caught.

LANI FACTS OMG

Yeah, this blog is backwards.
1. My feet are nice on top, but not so nice on the bottom
2. I have a focus problem
3. I miss my best friend and little sister
4. Stupid people don't think they're stupid until they have a conversation with me
5. I haven't stolen a quiz in awhile...think there's something wrong with me?
6. I don't remember the last time I was truly happy
7. Heat makes me irritable
8. I've seen porn...and it makes me sad and want to vomit
9. I have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many guy friends
10. I find that I'm not as interesting as others may think

Lanisms

-Older siblings, take care of your younger siblings. One day you'll be the only one they can turn to.

-I seriously need to change my phone number. The crazy lady keeps calling me

-Wisdom is practicing something you already know to be true

-Am I the only one that laughed at the beginning of Miami's episode We Don't Get Fueled Again?

-Delicate by Damien Rice is the sh!t. Why? Because I can apply it to two of my OTPs. Yes.

-Making people nervous is one of the greatest joys in life.

-I've given up on trying to make people understand me

-A question for Calleigh, who died? The black makes me worry about her

-Why can't we be friends? Because I don't like you. That is why.

Just Something a Bit Random
The power went out in my neighborhood about a week ago, possibly more. Loki was at my house so we went out into the darkness. Because that's what it was, darkness. The whole block was pitch black. The stars were lovely by the way. We hopped in Alice, his truck (twenty points for the person who tells me why its named that) and drove around. Quotes anyone?

Loki: what if this is the end of the world?
Me: hell no. If I see a zombie we're strapping up
Loki: can you imagine us in a world like that
Me: if we weren't the reason for the end of the world in the first place?
Loki: :lol: yeah
Me: Dude. K We'd be raw
Loki: yes we would be.

Me: Dude, roll your window up.
Loki: Why?
Me: because if this is some post apocalyptic world, I'm gonna need you to roll up your window

*back home*
Mom: you guys are crazy. Going in that
Me: that's what we do. If we stayed here we'd be normal

Recent news
IT'S MY DADDY'S BIRTHDAY!

Song of the Month: Overcome by Tricky. It amuses me that no one will bother to listen to it. Seeing as how just about every EOTM blog title is a lyric from the song of said month. Notice how there isn't one this blog, because I didn't tell you last months song.

I've been working on a lot of icons lately. Some random, some from shows and such. Anyway, I'll be doing a kickass icons post, hopefully soon. It'll be posted on LJ so I'll get you guys the link to that when I'm done. And Kris, fics have been updated while you were 'out of commission'. Have fun with that.

Happy hunting. ;)

Yeah I don't know where the title came from so dont' ask. Since I will be participating in the Black out of TV.com on the 30th, I won't be posting the EOTM blog here...but I will be posting it on gamespot.com. If you have an account here, you have one there. Loopholes are love.

Happy hunting. ;)

There will be an End of the Month blog. Just becuase I'm 'taking a break' doesn't mean I'm gonna break tradition. Well...if tv.com will stop being a whore there will be a blog. If not I'll just link you to my LJ. I was gonna post it there too anyway. So yeah...I'm kinda working on it now...

Happy hunting ;)

Hey. Eric tagged me. 10 facts yeah?

1. I dig in my ear when I'm bored.
2. tv.com won't let me rant because it knows I hate it right now
3. I hate it when people tell me I'm smart
4. I walk around the house in my underwear when I'm alone.
5. I should cut my fingernails
6. I'm depressed at the moment
7. My family is more screwed up than I thought
8. I recently found out that my father has an irregular heartbeat
9. If the layout of this damn site doesn't change back, I'm done with it
10. I don't want to go to school because I'm not a student type person.

I'm not tagging anyone. Go on with your lives.

...this is for my Charcoal Charlie.

Ok, so the night my friends were unleashed upon our fair city we had a lot of random moments. I care to share.

*at dinner*
Loki: Dude, WTF? *points to buffet*
*we all see some man rubbing on his wife's butt*
Lani: Well ok then
Lysa: Dont just get kinky in front of everyone by some food. Like that's nasty
Lani: He's probably rubbing a bruise on her ass.
Loki: 'Yeah you eat tonight. But when you get home...'
Lysa, Lani, Nels: :lol::cry::lol:

*in Wal-Mart*
Nels: OH I WANT A BOUNCY BALL *takes one out of display**tosses it to me*
Lani: *tosses to Loki in next isle*
Loki: *tosses to Nels*
Nels: *tosses to Lysa in next isle*

Everyone: *mixes ice cream with steak sauce, apple pie, ketchup, and something else*
Lani: I'll give you a ripped up ten dollar bill if you eat that.
Lysa: Um, hell no.
Nels: I'll do it. *takes spoon* *sniffs* Ew.
Loki: *takes a scoop* On three. *counts to three* *eats it*
Nels: *does not*
Lani: Chicken sh!t
Nels: what does it taste like
Loki: Ice cream and then steak sauce
Nels: *eats it**gags*
Lysa: *records*

WARNING: WE WERE IN AN ADULT STORE DURING THIS CONVERSATION. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
*looks at random 'woman self pleasuring' device*
Lani: WTF? What the hell is the difference?
Lysa: I think that instead of reaching down you just move the handle up and down
Loki: So you're not reaching I guess.
Lani: Oh. *nods* Must be better for her back.
Nels: You know, I'm kinda disturbed at this conversation.

*outside adult store leaving to go home*
Lani: *to Loki* Alright dude, I'll meet you at my house.
Lysa: No hug? No kiss?
Lani: Oh I'm sorry. Did I interrupt you guys making out? I didn't mean to.
Lysa: Were you...were you guys gonna kiss? Cuz you know I can leave. I can go.
Lani: *to Loki* Get your girl. Get her.
Loki: I'm gonna leave since I'm feeling the lesbian vibes between yall. I'm just gonna go.

I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART!