Well hello. *waves* No you're not seeing things, this is the end of the month blog. There was a lot going on last month and the first post of this won't do it justice but I will be adding onto it.

Thoughts (I know there aren't many this time, no jokes about me going stupid please)

-sweeping is an art form

-I'm too old for my age

-if someone can get drafted into the armed forced, go through some serious sh!t, come home and not have a beer, something is wrong

-bills make me wanna change my name and flee the country

-After a conversation with Jenne Byrd, we have agreed that we are all prisoners of everyone elses opinions. Retarded kids dancing to their own rhythm are more liberated than we are.

-fingers linger

-One of the worst things you can say to someone is 'I'll pray for you' when you have no intention of doing so.

-You can tell a lot about someone from how they swear

-You know you love someone when you stay with them even after their identity was stolen

NEWS...kinda more like a story but not really...
Some of you may know that I'm 'working' for this lady that's like 60 years old. She...oversteps her boundaries. Often...like everytime I go over there. This is what she thinks:

-I'm upset with my mom for leaving me with my dad to go to Germany

-I don't like my step mother

-I'm upset with my dad for remarrying

-I don't like going back and forth between my parents

-I'm upset with my mom for taking me away from my dad when she came home from Germany

For the most part I can ignore that knowing that it's all false. But one conversation threw me off and I wasn't feelin' sitting on her couch with her. Went like this:

Her: You staying by yourself
Me: with my mom.
Her: well that's good but you need your own place. But you have to be careful because that's when the wolves come. And I won't have you out there spreading your legs for someone who's not about nothin'
Me: :|

Needless to say I wasn't too comfy around her after that. Then she gets mad at me if I don't eat her food. You can barely walk, how the hell do you cook? But what ever, it's a job right? I told Loki and he was like 'she sounds **** lonely. This is not a Lifetime movie'. :lol: Love him.

To celebrate Nels going to college, on Wednesday my best friends Nels, Lysa and Loki...along with me...went out to eat. Now if you didn't know, me and Loki is good times. Me, Loki and Lysa is like go get a camera. But ME, LOKI, LYSA, AND NELS IS LIKE WHAT THE HELL WHERE THEIR PARENTS THINKING?!?!? We behaved...well I did. Loki and Lysa (whom I ship not so secretly) are a flippin riot. After we were done eating, they played catch in the parking lot with a softball. Then they got into a breakdance battle. Needless to say I was amused. After that we raided Wal-Mart because we felt like it. Be took pics with little Hannah Montana dresses :lol: Then we lost Lysa, so me, Loki and Nels went through the clothes section like we were SWAT. Nels slid on the floor even, I wish I had recorded that. Afterwards we went to the adult store which was across the street. That was beautifully awkward. Nels freaked out every time some old beat up looking guy came in. I was like 'what else do you expect if these guys aren't getting any?' I had fun smiling at them. LOL Here's a small taste of our convo:

Lysa: Can you square root a negative number?
Me: No
Nels: Yes.
Lani: How? If the number is negative it can't be square rooted because that means it was squared but stayed a negative. A negative times a negative is a positive.
*silence*
Loki: it can be done, we just don't have the tool
Lani: no it cant
Loki: Are you a master mathematician?
Lani: :| f*ck you.

Like how I posted the quote that makes me look smart 8) :lol:

ICONS OMGYAY
Yeah, I made these.

There were more screencaps but I wanted to just go ahead and post them now. They'll be up for a week, in which time I'll be adding more. After that, tell me what you want :)

And what blog would it be if I didn't leave you with a quote from Loki.
"I unleash evil thoughts upon you."

Happy hunting. ;)

As some of you may, or may not know, today is the seven year anniversary of Aaliyah's death date. She was the foundation of my love for music, so I took her death really hard. If you don't mind, I'd like to have a moment of silence...

*silence*

Anyway...I found some bomb diggidy pics that I'm making into icons. Yes.

Happy hunting. ;)

:|

Happy hunting :|

No Phone by Cake was the last blog.

Yes, another 'oh look icons blog'

OH LOOK! FLASHY ICONS! :lol:

Heather Feather and I made the Starbucked one :):):) and GREATHER BABIES!

Happy hunting ;)

For some reason I always get deep thoughts when I'm writing fics. It's like WTF? Anyway...

I've come to the conclusion that we're all hypocrites. Each and every last one of us in our own way. Take me for example, I'm the first one that wants to know if someone is going through some crap so that I can help. Yet, I hate talking about my problems with people. I hate it more than I hate certain people that will go unnamed. Another example, I drink. Not much, I'm not an alcoholic. What I am is a 19 year old with problems who sadly enough has access to enough alcohol to make grown men pass out and die from alcohol poisoning. But I don't want anyone in TWB to drink before they're old enough. It's insane.

At the same time, it makes us human, no? I mean, if we weren't hypocrites, the world would probably be in turmoil and no one would like anyone. At least, that's my opinion. What's yours?

Happy hunting ;)

Just a really quick blog this time. Mum and I had a moment today while she was doing my hair. She wanted to do something different to it and I wasn't feeling it. Here's the convo

MOm: You should have it up like this and then down in the back.
Me: I look like a ghetto girl with long hair
Mom: No you don't. It adds depth because you have no depth.
Me: :o...:lol: Wow. That was like the ultimate insult
Mom: :lol: you know what I meant
Me: Seriously. That's the kind of insult that stays with people and makes them question themselves 'Do I have depth?' 'What did she mean by depth' That could screw up someones mind...I'm gonna start using
Mom: Oh no... what have I done? :|

Meh, it was funny at the time :lol:

Happy hunting ;)

DA FRIKKIN UPDATE I HOPE YOU'RE SITTING DOWN OH SH!T FACE DRUNK!!!!

Mkay, so today wasn't that bad. I had a moment with mother and we had some good times. Had an interview with at&t. I don't think I did well but I'm staying optimistic. Hung out with Loki for a few hours. Good times.

Things changed when I went to go get my uncle. Well, more like after. We were listening to Rabbit in your Headlights right. It was near the end of the song when I turn a corner...and a RABBIT jumps in the street, sees my headlights and jumps back on the curb, taking off down the street. I bullsh!t you not. My uncle will testify to that. I had to pull over. My mind is still completely blown from the whole thing.

I told Loki. his response was 'Was it white?' No, it wasn't. Thank God. If it were, I would be a lot more nervous than I already am. Funny thing is, I had just got done telling my uncle the name of the song before I got to the corner where we saw the rabbit.

Life is insane. Just felt like sharing my healthy helping of randomness.

That is all.

Out.

Apparently the End of the Month blog is 'tradition' and I have to do it. Well, I got nothing even remotely thoughtful to say right now. I'll update this when I do but until then...

UPDATED
Ok, here we go. I still don't have anything to say. So I'll keep adding to it as see fit. :) And, ya know, seeing has how I've given like two rants and a ramble in one month, that should be enough, right? I deserve a break from angst? Ok, not really and now I'm rambling again. So, to what I wanted to share:

Don't Judge Me has been updated, two chapters.

And Song Byrd's fic is up.

I have updated HHT, for those of you without accounts and alerts *cough*WEIGHTS*cough* I'm still working on it but it's gonna take longer than I thought. I'm currenlty angsting and I don't want it to come out in my fics. Because at this point, everyone could die and I wouldn't think twice about it :lol:

That's all for now. I'm still putting my thoughts together

ANOTHER UPDATE!

I've come to the conclusion that I don't really need to do an end of the month blog. I gave yall TWO rants AND a ramble That should be enough. But I will update yall on why there was no EotM blog this time around.

I went to traffic court. Lots of fun there :roll: The lady at the window thing was so frikkin nice that I didn't swear (out loud) when she told me that I owe 152.40 to the court for my violation. Yeah, sure lady, let me pull that outta my ass :roll: Anyway, I have until the 17th of this month to get the moeny.

Icing on the flippin cake. My insurance was up two days ago. And I can't clear the violation ticket with out insurance. So on top of the money I owe, I have to pay my insurane which is like 68 bucks. Fun times for Lani. Am I stressed? You bet your ass I am. So that is what's going on with me. I'm about ready to pull a sofia. But you guys keep me sane, well, you guys help me hold onto the shred of sanity I have left.

Happy Hunting ;) (yes I am being optimistic)

Last blog was Renegade by Jay-Z and Eminem.

This is a f*ckin rant. And for those few of you that wonder why I have a life, be greatful. Sh!t keeps happening to me in this 'life' and I'm able to supply you with such rants. Did you think I was kidding when I said 'I have a life, it just sucks'?

For the past few weeks my freedom has been taken. Freedom meaning my car. The battery died and I had no way of transportation. Therefore, I was stuck at home listening to Mary Ellen and her brother b!tch and moan about sh!t they had no control over. Add to that the fact that I couldn't escape...you get the picture.

Well recently my dad bought me a new battery. It worked fine...for like two hours. So we charged it and today (Tuesday) was the first time I really drove it since. The battery light did not come on so I thought it was all good. I had to get the tags for my car, which got me pulled over last month because they expired. So I get there just fine...it's when Loki and I left that the trouble started. I get a block from the f*ckin DMV, and my radio goes off. Loki is like 'your battery dude'. So, we think we have enough juice to get back to Stockton at least. No, not at all. My battery dies on the effin freeway...two lanes people. Bad times.

So we sit there for maybe an hour. I had already called my dad (who is a champ by the way) and he shows up. Thank God his car battery is in his trunk. So he charges me and we make it to the nearest freeway exit, when the friggin thing dies again. People are sooooooo smart that when they see my hood and my dad's hood up, they get right behind me like we're gonna make the light. No dumass, we're not. So we signal for people to go around. I get charged and we make it to the turning lane to get the a Pep boys autoshop. I break down at the light in the left turning lane. Fan f*ckin tastic. Once again the f*ck tards get behind me and think we're gonna make the light. :roll: By the way, I love it when people stare. Seriously, I started yelling at people to 'have a blessed day'.

Eventually we charge up enough to get to the autoshop. Its almost $400 to fix the alternater, which charges the battery as I drive it. So we do that, dad pays half, mum pays the other. They say it will take 3 hours to do this. So dad, being the champion that he is, takes me and Loki to see Dark Knight. (which was TEH SH!T) So we get back to the autoshop. Everything is working great right? No. I get barely a block away, when THE F*CKIN THING DIES ON ME AGAIN!!! I call father figure and he shows up at the gas station I pulled into before the car went out completely. He calls the autoshop, they send someone with a portable battery charger and he makes it back to the shop. They charge the battery for a half hour.

It worked fine after that.

But I'm not f*ckin done. I get back home, Loki still with me. We hang out for a bit...and then he gets a call from his cousin to come over. I take him over and hang out for a bit. I have to pick up my uncle from his job so I start my car, and pull out of the apartment complex. My airbag light comes on. Followed by my battery and brake light. I throw the car in reverse and park in a parking spot. The damn battery, you guessed it, DIED!!!

So, now I'm home (because Loki borrowed his aunt's car) I have no car. I have no ride to court tomorrow and (cherry on the f*ckin pie) I have NO idea where the courthouse in Lodi is. Did I mention Lodi was racist? Oh I didn't? Oh...well it's racist. They still burn crosses out there (KKK activity) And...well, you guys know what I look like. BAD F*CKIN TIMES!!

However, today would have been a whole lot worse if:
a. Loki wasn't with me
b. My dad wasn't as awesome as he is
c. and if I would have broken down on my way to get my uncle at midnight...when father lives almost an hour from me.

*sigh* I really want a drink right now, but I'm trying to make some personal changes. BUT I REALLY WANT A SHOT RIGHT NOW!!!

Me and my dad had a moment by the way. We talked about him and his role as a father and not a sperm donor. He takes his job as dad seriously, and he'll never know how much that means to me. Not just because I consider him my kinght in shining armor, but because he loves his kids through all our messes and our flaws. That man deserves so much more than what any human can EVER give him. I thank God for my father. Yes I am tearing up right now.

Hunting. You know why happy is overrated.

Last blog was Heartbroken by Aaliyah. Strange how both myself and Jenne did songs by Aaliyah.

Meh, it's a rant. I'm slightly disappointed by it. No drinking, just in case.

You know what I love? No? Well that's because I didn't tell you yet. I love when people stare at me. I dig that to no end. Yes I do drive a Bug. No you don't know me. Apparently watching the road isn't as important as staring at me. And I'm serious about these people not using blinkers. Are bombs somehow attached to the lever and if they flip it they go boom? Mine must be broken or something.

Why do people not answer phones? I mean, ok, sometimes we just cant and we may have no signal. But can you not call someone back? Is that against some random unwritten law? Because EVERYONE I know abide by that rule. I called my dad yesterday and he has yet to call me back. I left him a message and everything. No call back. And don't get me started on Loki's phone. It's like its conspiring against us. I called him, like I said I would. He didn't answer. I called back 4 times. No answer. I left a message, something I rarely do. He didn't call me back I had to call him back!!! Wanna know why he didn't call me back? He didn't check his effin messages because people that he didn't want to talk to called him and he thought it was them. I wanted to punch him. And he has the nerve to get mad at me for not calling him back when I get to my dad's house. Forgive the f*ck outta me for spending QT with father figure and step mama. And then there's my friend Lysa. We call her No-text-back. Mainly because she doesn't text anyone back. She's one of those people that make you wonder why they have a phone in the first place.

I don't like people in my business. If I invite you in, that's fine. But don't call me about some sh!t that does not concern you. Example, my uncle (the one who has no aim) calls me and asks "What are you doing?" Really? You need to know what I'm doing? Well, the whole neighborhood is having a sex orgy party. I'm currently engaged in that. Oh, and I'm downloading porn on your laptop while smoking all your stash. But no worries, what can I do for you. Because the world and all its inhabitants revolve around your ass. He called me another time and asked "Did you get a job yet?" I wanted to respond with: Have you gotten your own place yet? Have you learned to clean up after yourself yet? Have you learned how to wash and fold clothes yet? Hm? Have you? Oh you haven't? That's too bad. Instead, I just hung up on him.

I think you guys have figured out that I don't like him.

Apparently, 3 dollars of gas fills my tank. He gives me 3 dollars to take him across town. I looked at him stupid. I can't even get a gallon with three dollars. If I gave that to the gas attendant he'd look at me crazy. WTF am I gonna do with 3 effin dollars? I can barely buy gum with three dollars and you want me to use that to get gas to take you somewhere? Are you effin serious? You can't possibly be. There's no way. My car does not run on happy thoughts and miracles. Because if it did, it still wouldn't work. I'm so damn pessimistic...

The question was asked on Yahoo if The Dark Knight was too dark for kids. I couldn't stop laughing. May I be a big Batman geek for a second? The Joker is in it. NO SH!T IT'S TOO DARK! Don't mistake me, I have not seen it yet. But if they portrayed the Joker the way he should be (and if by any indication, Heath Ledger's death says he did a good job) the movie should be banned. The Joker is the same SOB that kidnapped a bunch of newborn babies and killed a woman for trying to catch the baby he dropped. Shot her in the head. The Joker is probably the worst of all comic villains. And I love him. He's sick and twisted and has no regard for human life. He doesn't even come with a catch. He's just insane and does what he wants. My brother and I have come to the conclusion that Ledger OD'ed on sleeping pills because he couldn't sleep; he lost his mind in the role. I'm done being a geek.

I was gonna rant about something else, but I forgot :oops: Maybe later.

Happy hunting. ;)

'Ello mellow yellow fellow. How art thou? Some things have happened. And Leilani's in that lovely grey area of life where she's pissed off most of the time, couldn't care less other times, and is happy for no reason in particular the rest of the time. This is a ramble, not a rant. You'll get one soon. Promise.

Let me start off with saying that I can tolerate some things. What I can not tolerate is a funky person. I mean if the person is homeless, the way they smell is not a priority. But if you have access to a working shower, towels, soap and shampoo who in their right mind would pass that up? That said, let me tell you something about a problem I have. Mkay? A family member combs her hair, but with my comb. I don't dig that. She showers, but bundle the wash cloth up so that it doesn't dry out all the way. That's not ok. She sleeps in her own clothes. That's not ok either. She eats all our food and she's picky. I wanna slap her on those days. But I can tolerate that, for the most part. What I can't is that she doesn't us deodorant. WTF world do you live in where you don't need it? Even if I did live in that world, I'd STILL use deodorant. Mkay? It drives me nuts! And I'm supposed to be the kewl cousin that doesn't judge and what not but if she doesn't get some act-right I might have to slap her with Secret. I handed her some and she was like 'are you saying I stink?' Me being the master of deflection said 'did you use any today?' I don't do smelly. And I need to tell her about herself ya know? Out of love. Because I will franjanjan anyone that's not family if they come at her stupid. That's just how I am. But I have no idea what to say.

I understand that I'm not working with the same equipment that guys do, so I don't understand the whole 'miss the toilet entirely' thing. But from conversations with a few guys, I understand that its sort of normal. Whatever. What isn't normal is for a full grown man to miss the seat, piss all over the toilet seat because he didn't put it up like he was supposed to, and to not flush the toilet. Did I mention that he doesn't clean up the missed piss? Oh I didn't. Well, he doesn't. Worst of all he did this in my bathroom, which is upstairs and right by my bedroom. I can smell the piss in my room, ok? That's nasty. He sleeps downstairs and there is a bathroom right next to it. He doesn't flush that toilet either. It stinks something nasty down there. And guess who gets blamed. Leilani Blank Reed. Yes mom, because I stand while I pee and piss all over the place. And I refuse to flush the toilet too. I dig taking a whiff of old piss, gets my juices flowing. Why should I clean up after him and his nasty piss? Sure, it's my bathroom and I'll clean it because its mine and I like it clean, but the downstairs bathroom is not my problem. I don't even use it.

Speaking of dear old mother figure, she made me feel like a waste of space a few days ago. Usually after times like that I sink into these stages: analyzing what she said, agreeing, self depreciation, depression, self mutilation. Usually I only get to depression before I get a pickmeup. Thankfully, Heather texted me 10 minutes after the whole thing and I only got to the analyzing stage. Anyway, I cried after I got the text. Why? Because I'm thankful. I'm thankful I have you guys to remind me that I matter. You guys remind me that someone does actually give two sh!ts about me and not going through the motions. It may seem strange that someone like me, who is usually the voice of encouragement to you guys, would break down and forget. I got a message from Lil at like 2am that same night, and I cried some more. You guys have no idea how grateful I am for all of you.

No, I did not just pull a Lil. Shut up.

I stayed with my dad last weekend. Good times. I missed him. We didn't get to talk about stuff we should have but it was still nice to be around him. His wife is the bomb diggidy sh!znit. I had the sudden urge to call her mom on Sunday. But I caught myself. It's a lot to think about, ya know? That's a big step to take. I've still got to think it over. I know if I asked her if I could call her mom she wouldn't mind. Mom is a big leap from Non Parental Unit, isn't it? I don't want to think that's its because what's going on with my actual mother. I have a ton of thinking to do.

My brother called me earlier and told me that they're having a boy instead of a girl, like what we all hoped for. But that's fine. I don't really care as long as mother and child are both healthy. And you (ya'll know who I'm talking about) stay the hell away from my nephews.

I miss Loki.

I think that's all for now.

Happy hunting ;)