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Geek to Chic - Part 4

The definitive guide to selecting jeans
Picking up blue jeans should be one of the easiest things for a guy to do. Unfortunately, the days of selecting either a Levi 501 or 550 are gone. The women who judge us recognize a man who takes pride in his appearance, and jeans today vary greatly.

Quickrules: No tapered jeans, no stovepipes, no powder-blue colors, and no slim-fit. Look for boot-cut jeans in a mid- to dark-blue that appear relaxed without being frumpy. The key is a balanced appearance.

EXTENDED RULES
Thou shalt...
...not wear tapered jeans. These jeans are tight around your ankles and wide around your waist. The result is that you will either look fat, or like you are smuggling two baby seals in your pants.
...not wear low-rise jeans. Low-rise jeans are for women, not men. Exposing your underwear went out of sty1e with Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch. Exposing your Happy Trail is only in sty1e when you are actually in bed with your partner. Or a stall in a bar. Or a plane. Really, any place where your partner is also exposed.
...not wear powder blue jeans (unless you are the kind of man who powders your face). I own a pair of powder blue jeans, and my wife hates them. This is for good reason: they're ugly. They have since been decommissioned. Stick to the color spectrum between blue and navy blue. Charcoal jeans are also acceptable.

Below, from left to right, tapered jeans, low-rise jeans, and powder blue jeans. Horror upon horror.

...wear denim that is blue only; not white jeans, not black jeans, and definitely not brown jeans. Unless you are a model for Diesel or a very hot chick, stick with the color spectrum mentioned above.
...not wear slim-fit jeans. Please, do not make me accidentally check out you rear because you bought a pair of slim-fit jeans. Only Audrey Hepburn is allowed to wear them. Men look like women in slim-fit jeans.

Below, from left to right, brown jeans, white jeans, and slim fit jeans. Note also that the slim fit jeans are ironed with a crease on the front, a capital sin in some countries.

...consider distressed jeans. Even though your mom and your wallet tell you not to buy half-broken jeans, they are female-approved. Distressed does not necessarily mean holes, it can just mean that the jeans have "wear marks" in key areas (like the horizontal fade lines near the pockets on the front). Distressed jeans give you a "manly" appearance, like you've been working in the garage or riding horses all day, cowboy. Confoundingly, jeans with paint on them do not look good. They make you look like a painter. Painters are only hot if their name if Alejendro, they're pumped like Timberlake, and it's all occurring within her head, rather than reality.
...wear boot-cut jeans. These jeans lend you a cutting figure, are proportional to your body shape, and are currently "in." Flare jeans are also okay for men, but remember that you're a man with taste, not a man out of time. Keep the flare minimal. If you are concerned, stick with boot-cut.

Below, from left to right, are mildly distressed jeans with a slight flare (good), excessively distressed jeans (bad), and regular boot-cut jeans (good).

...forget stovepipe jeans. Unless your age begins with "teen" and the rest of your clothes are from Hot Topic, stovepipe jeans will only appeal to a tiny fraction of the female population, and that fraction shops at Torrid (if this is obscure, let me explain now that Torrid is a Hot Topic focused at plus-size, teenage goth and emo chicks). Sidenote: You can sometimes get away with stovepipe jeans only in ultra-casual situations and only if you wear a form-fitting top, like a tight rugby shirt. This is rare, though, and blending sty1es is a bit advanced for the geek. Employ a chick for help, if necessary.
..."baggy" is okay, but not great. Baggy is not the same as stovepipe. A boot-cut, baggy jean is a relaxing look and fit. The jeans should be loose without being airy enough to act as chimneys. Again, a baggy jean needs to have a tight top to offset the baggy bottom, or you will come across as frumpy, or worse, pudgy. Even better, wear a button-down shirt to offset the casual bottoms.

Below are stove-pipe jeans (bad) and baggy jeans (okay if you're between 14 and 20). On the far right (front and rear shot of one pair) is an ideal pair of jeans: they are a relaxed-looking boot cut with minor distress that fit well.

Putting jeans on the geek
Let's take our geek and put on some better jeans.

He keeps improving; now maybe his wife will be willing to be seen in public with him. What more can we do to improve his appearance? Check back later for another Geek to Chic (original geek before and after below)!

Shopping suggestions
Jeans do not have to cost a fortune. While GStar and Lucky Brand Jeans look good, they cost a fortune. If you are a geek just trying to look good and fit in, just head over to American Eagle or Aeropostale and pick up whatever they have on their mannequins. Also consider Pacific Sunwear, though it'll likely be a bit pricier, and you'll need to work around the stovepipes and slim-fit jeans. If you're still having trouble, ask the hottest female worker for help selecting jeans. On one hand, she'll be flattered even though you will feel embarrassed. On the other, she'll think it's cute you're trying to dress better (especially if you're dressed really geeky). It's a win-win.



I'm a conformist
Ryan106 stated in a comment in G2C 2 that I was a conformist. Well, I am. This series is for those geeks that - like me - need fashion help so they can fit in, get a date, get a job, or who are otherwise tired of being teased. While they teach you in school, "It's what's on the inside that counts," you are judged by what is on the outside. Every first grader finds this out their first day on the playground, and it does not stop until your dead.

And if you have ever been to a wake and heard someone say, "They did a great job, he looked nice." then you know you can even be judged by your appearance after you are dead.

Everyone gets GAS sometimes

Have you ever played a game right up to the very end before stopping entirely? Not just completing the game, watching the credits roll, and sitting in self-satisfaction (as if you actually accomplished something of value). No, after the days and weeks you spent - hours upon hours - working through a game, and completing 95% of it, you put down the controller and walk away, never to return.

Game Arrest Syndrome (GAS) is the onset of ambivalence that occurs from either A) overdosing on a particular game or B) intense frustration over a particularly challenging portion of the game. In its worst form you might be in the middle of attacking the final boss and turn off the console. Forever. This is called Sudden GAS (SGAS), and has happened on a number of occassions:
:: Metroid Prime - I blew through most of the game and even defeated Meta Ridley, only to encounter Metroid Prime. When I got to it, I tried to defeat it twice, looked up the solution on GameFaqs, and put down the controller forever. For some reason, I was just done.
:: Ninja Gaiden - After traversing multiple levels, timing my jumps just right, and avoiding the malicious (and abundant) birds, I reached the final boss of one of the most difficult NES games ever. Then I stopped playing for no particular reason.

:: Pikmin 2 - I spent a lot of time completing every single nook and cranny of this game, arrived at the last boss at the last level of the game, and stopped playing. I had no urge to pick it up again except to play with my spouse in cooperative mode a few times. I had already completed Pikmin, and had no desire to defeat the boss of Pikmin 2.
:: Unreal Tournament - I fought through every bot without cheating until I reached Xan, kept getting blown off the spaceship that you duel upon, and gave up. I cheated to complete the game, and never once regretted it, until just now when I told you.

Not just me
I thought that it was me that was admitting defeat all the time, but it turns out this is not the case. My wife is notorious for picking up a game and playing like crazy, only to put it down seemingly overnight. In fact, we both gave up on the following:
:: Grim Fandango - We each played Grim Fandango separately, loving every minute of its unique atmosphere and quirky humor. We both considered ourselves proficient adventure gamers, having been through King's Quest VI and a few others, but gave up in the middle of Grim Fandango. For some reason, with this game both of us would rather have given up than cheat to move on. This was sad, because we both so loved Manny.

:: Harvest Moon - Harvest Moon is a very long game. It is not difficult, but after a while it really began to feel like work. I made it through only one season. My wife made it to the end of the second season (of three), but gave up mid-way through because there was no challenge, she was already cranking out tons of cash and had trees planted everywhere. She owned everything worth having.
:: Twilight Princess - After hitting the Sky Cannon Glitch, my wife lost a lot of the energy she had put into Twilight Princess. I have not really started playing yet myself, but I can hardly blame her. She lost a lot of the bugs she had collected, some heart pieces, and other side-quest extras. For some reason her not completing this game bothers me, possibly because she completed all the Zeldas since Ocarina of Time without much difficulty. I'm still rooting for her.

You're not defeated, just out of GAS
I love video games, but they are just games, after all. I gave up throwing the controller across the room long ago. Today, I just put it down and never pick it up again. I complete many games, but sometimes, if I have had my fill, I get an attack of Sudden GAS and never return to what was once great fun. Do not feel bad for me, there are plenty of other games to keep me distracted.

Advice: Interviewing for a job

Knowing most of Gamespot is populated by males 16-24, the following should be useful when looking for employment. I am always trying to think of what I can write to benefit readers. My wife has always said that job interviewing is one of my best skills (too bad I cannot put "job interviewing" as a skill on my resume).

Assumptions
You submitted your resume (have a great resume, I cannot emphasize this enough) and a cover letter to a job, you have followed-up with a call a week later, and landed an interview. Now you need to perform at the interview itself. But what do you wear? How do you act? What about that mole on the tip of your nose?

Prepare
You will be asked questions about how you think you would fit the position, so read about the job in detail. Asking questions about the position is a great way to take control of the interview and let them know you are interested. I am not talking about the ordinary questions. Ask them what a typical workday is like from the time you arrive to when you might leave. Ask them to show you where you would be working. After all, if you are going to be sitting there for eight or more hours every day, it might be nice to know if you have any windows nearby or not and who else is around you. Read up on the company, but do not go crazy. You do not need to know when it was founded, just who their typical clientele are and what they do.

The Interview
Do not lie. Lying will always get you in trouble eventually. Beyond telling the truth, try the following:
Attire: Wear a suit, even if you're applying to a job at Best Buy. A suit shows that you care about the job, that the interviewer commands your respect, and that you know how to present yourself. Wear a black or navy suit, black wingtip shoes, a matching black belt (belts always match the shoes), white shirt, and modest tie. Your shirt should have collar stays, and not button down. Button-down collars are too casual for an interview. Do not try to be creative with your tie, you can differentiate yourself in other ways.
Hygiene: Take a shower, comb your hair, take out your piercings, your haircut should have been within the last four weeks, remove jewelry, and clip your nails. There will be a lot of eye contact, smiling, and talking, so right before the interview put a drop of Visine into both eyes to make them "pop" and eat a breathmint. It can't hurt.
Posture: Sit up straight, do not slouch, fold your hands in your lap if you have nothing else to do with them, and keep your elbows off the table, if applicable. Slouching makes you look like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons. When you own a nuclear power plant, then you can slouch, but not in an interview.

Smile: Smiling shows that you are a pleasant person. Smiling also tends to put people in a good mood, including yourself. I would say, "Be personable," but you cannot teach personality and it would be lying to fake it. Faking it comes off as just that: fake. So smile and be yourself.
Handshake: Give a firm handshake without crushing your interviewer. In the U.S. the handshake is still critical for many interviewers, and can cost you a job. Every follow-up call I've made to an interviewer has noted that I had a great handshake, so don't discount it. This is pretty easy, just shake hands with a couple friends and use varying degrees of strength until they tell you what's firm, weirdo.
Resume: Have a half-dozen copies of your resume on hand. You'll need one for yourself to follow along, if necessary for the "laundry-list" interviews, you'll need one for the interviewer, and multiple interviewers if they decide to shuffle you along to superiors and coworkers.
Leave baggage at home: If someone cut you off on the way to the interview, you spilled coffee on yourself, or you girlfriend dumped you that morning, too bad. The interviewer is seeing you for the first time and will not forgive your situation. Even better: leverage your bad situation. For example, "I apologize for my appearance, but I was nervous on my way over and it spilled. At least I get to pick up a new paid of pants." This reaction shows you can let stress go, that you recognize an error in your appearance, and demonstrates an ability to deal with that stress in a positive manner. If they notice you are stressed at the interview, crack a joke. "My girlfriend and I broke up yesterday, so I'm a little off my game today. Don't worry, though, it was time to upgrade to a new model anyway."
Knowledge: Don't even worry about it. Your resume landed the interview, so they already know you're qualified. Just answer the questions they ask about your previous employment, apply what you have done to what you will do for their firm, and ask a few questions about grey areas in the job posting. I'm not going to coach you on answers to question like, "Why should we hire you?" or, "What about the position appeals to you." because the best and most honest answers generally occur at the interview. They know when you have studied.

Follow-up
The day after the interview mail cards to everyone who interviewed you thanking them for the opportunity. Use proper titles and write them by hand (i.e. "Mr. Boswell, Thank you for taking the time to interview me for the position of x. I look forward to working at Widget Company. Sincerely, Joe Interviewee." This adds polish to the interview and can even correct mistakes. My first job called me after the received the card. They said, "We were waiting for the card so we could ask you if you'd like the job."

If you do not hear back in 10 days, call and ask them when you should expect to hear back about the position, even if they told you not to call. Ten days is enough time that you should be scheduled for a second-round interview or, at the least, notified.

Second round
Wear a different suit to the second round of interviews (navy or pinstripe). If you do not own a different suit, wear the same suit with a different understated tie. Add a pocket square. You can also wear a blue shirt and matching understated tie to a second-round interview. Do not try to differentiate yourself by appearance. A screaming orange tie, puppies, or Jackson Pollock will come off as unprofessional, even when interviewing at Moe's Tavern. Follow all of the above instructions again, answer their questions, and ask any that you missed the first time around. If you have no questions, I have found the following result to elicit smiles, "I asked all of my questions in the first round of interviews. I am here today to eliminate any doubts you have. I should really ask if you have any more questions."

Practice
Do not worry about getting turned down, even multiple times. It takes time to land a job. The average period of unemployment between jobs is three months when you are actively looking. Practice interviews with friends, your career department at your school, or just take interviews for a slew of jobs you are not interested in for practice. The more you interview, the easier it becomes to do them.

I will not delve much further into interview content (what is actually said during the interview). However, be ready to answer the question of what you are doing with your time while you are unemployed. Playing video games is not a response. Personally, I picked up a "bridge job." A bridge job is inconsequential employment you take between jobs to fill your time, learn new skills, and get some money. I went to Circuit City. It was fun, I worked with good people, met a lot of customers, and developed people skills. It was great, and it showed in my interviews.

I hope this helps some people. If you want more tips on typical questions that are asked and how to answer, you can find hundreds of better-written articles through Google searches. Best of luck, job hunters!

Advice: Overcoming the crisis of your 20's

Today is my 4-year wedding anniversary. On this day I look back on what have been the highs and lows of the past four years of marriage and eight years together, and wonder what I might write from which readers might learn.

The crisis
If you are a man under 30, you are likely to go through an internal crisis at some point (if you have not already). You are going to completely freak out that your life is no longer your own. You will feel like everything has already been planned out. The worst part will be that it is absolutely true and that you will need to come to terms with that fact. Most modern men feel the same way you will at some point in time (Zach Braff made a movie centered around these feelings with "The Last Kiss").

When you meet your significant other and move in together, everything is new and special. You will be going on vacations together, hanging out with each others friends and meeting the families. Eventually, however, things will begin to fall into a pattern. You begin to realize that you are stuck. You got engaged, have a mortgage, or even a child (or five). Your fate is intertwined with another person and you can no longer go wherever you want whenever you want unquestioned.

You drink less.
You see your friends less.
Your friends are all getting married.
You think about old girlfriends but cannot seem to figure out why.
You start to notice all the things about your partner that annoy you.

Getting over it
Some men will cheat on their partner at this point, buy a luxury item like a sports car, get hammered with the guys too often, or do something else to recapture their independence and free-spirit. You will stay up until 2:AM just to do it. You wish you were back in college. It is kind of like a pre-mid life crisis.

But, you have a partner. You might get annoyed with that person, but you are in love, you made a commitment, and that person has made the same commitment to you. Talk to your partner about these feelings, and they will become easier to deal with. Communication is the most important aspect of any relationship, yet is the point of contention for the vast majority of couples (we are still working on it, and probably always will be).

Why marry at all?
Marriages are as disposable as toilet paper. You can get an annullment or divorce with the same ease as you would get married. With marriage meaning less, why do it at all?

The worst thing that can happen to you in life is to be alone. If married, when you are sad, you have someone to share that sadness with and make you happy. When you are angry, they will listen to your problem(s). When you are happy, they make you happier. Everything is better when I do it with my wife.

A quick story: my wife and I vacationed in Paris in January. The weather was pleasant and we had our week all planned out. Everything was paid for. We spent the first two days walking around the city, seeing the sights, taking a night tour on the river, and all the other touristy things that vacationers do. The second night of our trip I woke up with an eye infection.


Me, at the Paris eye hospital

My eye was in severe pain. My wife got an internet card and looked up the symptoms. We went to the hospital and she sat with me and talked with the doctors. When we made the heartbreaking decision to fly home on our third day in Paris, we cried on each other's shoulders. She helped me with the medication they prescribed, which required two different drops in the afflicted eye every hour for 24 hours, including on the flight. She stayed with me, held, me, comforted me, and I was able to comfort her in return and make her laugh. I can't imaging going through everything without her.

For me, my wife was the best thing that ever happened to me. She takes care of me when I am sick, loves to do the same things I love to do, and is bright and challenging in conversation. She is insightful, laughs at my jokes, respects my private time at home (Starcraft!), and criticizes me in ways that help me grow as a person. Plus, she's an awesome cook.

Your significant other will do the same, is doing the same, or will someday when you meet one. And you will find someone; there are enough people on the planet that everyone can find someone if they try.

From Geek to Chic - Part 3

Alright you IT, Comp Sci, and Engineer majors, I confess that I should have focused more on an intermediate shoe. My wife was correct to point out in the previous Geek to Chic entry that the black shoes and white T-shirt were just not cutting it for her. Dress shoes with a T-shirt may clash depending on the color.

This is why I would recommend a hybrid shoe with a T-shirt, because white sneakers are only really appropriate for the gym or exercise. As mentioned earlier, a hybrid shoe blends elements of a dress shoe and a sneaker. I use Skechers as an example because they made their name on these types of footwear (see below). The first is more casual, and might be most appropriate with Khakis or a shirt with some brown in it. The second is a nicer shoe appropriate for casual Friday followed by a night out. If you wear a belt, make sure it matches the shoes.

Ditch the T-Shirt
T-Shirts are not the only tops available to men. I know, it might sound surprising but it is true. I'm not just talking about polo shirts either (a Polo is a golf-shirt, solid with three buttons at the top). A button-down, collared shirt is almost always just as comfortable as a T-shirt while looking about ten times better. In the summer you can replace the T-shirt with a short-sleeve, collared shirt. Some patterns are more popular than others, and many go out of sty1e rapidly. Therefore it is best to stick with solid colors and vertical stripes - which are slimming - if you are a low-maintenance kind of man. Let's switch our model out of his T-shirt and into something he might actually want to go out in after work.

I think it is fair to say that our Geek is looking pretty good. The shirt also matches the shoes better, being slightly off-white and slightly more formal. Any cotton, linen, or synthetic blend will look fine, but cotton will be the most comfortable. This shirt was from American Eagle, so it was not that expensive.

Fit is key
Shirts (button-downs with a collar) have different sizing than regular T-shirts and Polos. If you have never bought one, you will need to know your collar size and arm length (if it is long-sleeved). You can measure yourself, or walk into any Filene's/Macy's or JC Penney's to get measured. Our model is a 14.5 (neck) and 32/33 (arm).

Different brands have different fits, so you will have to try on a bunch of shirts to decide what you are most comfortable with. I have found that Express Men, H&M, and Pink tend to have shirts with a great fit, but are more expensive. You can find affordable dress shirts at TJ Maxx and Marshall's.

When in doubt, buy white
If you're clueless about dress shirts, buy five white collared shirts and call it a day. You can wear them with dress pants, khakis, and jeans. You can tuck them in for work (with a belt, man!), untuck them for beer, or roll up the sleeves for a more casual look. Dress shirts are very versatile, which is the great thing about them.

The geek, chic?
He's not quite there yet, but he is looking much better. At this point the geek is good to go for a drink. However, he could use some help with some better (i.e. more sty1ish) jeans or a different pair of pants. Maybe next time.

Humor: On large umbrellas

Dear Gentlemen of Boston:

I know it is raining, but please close your umbrella, walk 5-ft. to any convenience store, and buy a $5 regular sized-umbrella. Yours was designed for the beach, not for the sidewalks of Boston. It would be put to much better use by lining the interior with mirrors to replace the aging Hubble telescope. You might also consider donating it to SETI so they might finally contact alien life. You might even bring down our health insurance costs, as hundreds of passersby - to whom you appear oblivious - nurse their eyeballs from the gauges of your umbrella's pointy tips.

I'm not sure why only men seem to use the jumbo umbrellas. Maybe they're compensating. Maybe they were asked at McDonald's if they would like to super-size their umbrella. Maybe they got it as a gift at the annual corporate yuppie convention. But I have never seen a lady carrying an umbrella the Roman Legions would have envied under a volley of arrows.

It is possible that women just like smaller things. They seem to like tiny boxes, often with little flowers painted on them. They like small dogs. They like small people. They like any item small enough to fit in their already small boxes. Maybe they like their umbrellas the same way.

In any event, large-umbrella men might learn something from the fairer gender. Not only to wash their hands when exiting the bathroom, but to also use a smaller umbrella. Nobody will think less of you.

From Geek to Chic - Part 2

Fixing common geek attire mistakes

The original geekSlightly less geeky
Our Geek did not get much more attractive in the first post. In fact, the black shoes and oversized t-shirt was not a great combo. So let us delve into size.

Clothes make the man If your clothes are anything other than your size, you will look like a fool to the people around you. Of course, this is partly determined by age and demographic. Urban attire has its own set of rules. But, if you have graduated from High School, it is time to consider some clothing that fits.

The Geek The geek is wearing a T-shirt three-times too big. A quick change of T-shirt to one that fits can work wonders.
Big T-shirt!Fitted Shirt
Wearing clothes that fit seems like a simple concept, but it escapes many people. This geek may be almost 30, but he still fits into a Men's Small or Boy's Large. Getting over a fear of being seen shopping in the boy's department can also keep your wallet heavier, as adult clothing tends to have adult pricing. Of course, this option is only open to scrawny geeks like our model!

Five reasons to buy clothes that fit
1 - You look sharp
2 - Smaller sizes can be less expensive
3 - They wrinkle less (fitting more snugly)
4 - You can do a larger load of laundry
5 - You can (sometimes) get away with white sneakers

White sneaks, the horror!White sneaks: not as bad
As stated in the first Geek to Chic, white sneakers are generally appropriate for the gym and chores, but not much else. Still, clothes that fit will let you get away with some laziness, so a trip to the mall in white kicks is not out of the question.

He is still kind of dorky
Our geek could stand to improve his wardrobe from a T-shirt, jeans and shoes. They might work on a Saturday afternoon lounging at home, but how would he ever pick up a chick? This can wait until next time.
The original geek Fitted Shirt

From Geek to Chic - Part 1

Correcting basic attire mistakes

One of the most important investments you can make as a man is having a decent selection of shoes.

Preface: Your age determines your uniform
Choosing clothing is all about context, such as your age, the event, the location, etc. Sure, you can get by in high school in your Converse, Emo boots from the Matrix, or high heels (you wild man!), but once you hit your senior year of college you had better head to DSW and pick up a pair of wingtips. You should really consider a pair of dress shoes even in high school for weddings, funerals, and formal events like graduation. But you will not want a sport coat for cl@sses in high school any more than you would want to see your grandparent in JNCOs.

You don't believe me?
Do you still think sneakers, jeans, and a t-shirt are the outfit of your generation? Open any men's magazine (Esquire, GQ, Maxim, Cargo) and see how many male models are wearing sneakers, jeans, and a t-shirt that are not in an advertisement for jeans. If you need further evidence, visit an engineering school like MIT or Rensselaer and look for the dorkiest kids you can find. I can virtually guarantee they will be wearing tapered jeans, a t-shirt, white sneakers, and white socks. You can also watch the makeover episode of Beauty and the Geek, or any of the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy episodes.
Cap toe from EccoWingtip
Above is a Cap Toe and a Wingtip shoe (left to right).

Investing in appearances
You can forget everything they said in school about judging people for who they are, in the real world people judge you based on appearance. If you want a good job or to catch the interest of an attractive woman you need to dress well (then they can get to know you for who you are). You do not need expensive clothes or name brand stuff, but you should think beyond white sneakers and jeans, and stop wearing white socks with black shoes. You can still shop in the clearance section of TJ Maxx and look good.

Why focus first on shoes?
The most overlooked aspect of most men's wardrobes is their footwear. You can get by in jeans and a T-shirt if you have a solid black cap-toe or flat-front casual shoe. If you absolutely must have something sneaker-like, head over to Skechers and look for a hybrid shoe, which combines some of the appearance of a dress shoe with a sneaker.

What you need
You should own a minimum of one pair of sneakers for exercising and lounging around. One pair of casual shoes such as a cap-toe or flat-front shoe is appropriate for going out in the evening, visiting friends and family, and meeting someone casually. Casual shoes can be worn with almost anything, too, such as jeans, khakis, and dress-pants. Wingtips are formal shoes appropriate for weddings, funerals, job interviews, prom, and other important events. However, the wingtip can also be dressed down with jeans and worn with a jacket for a semi-formal event like a cl@ssy dinner. That is three pairs of shoes; not too expensive. Other footwear will be necessary depending on climate (obviously you will want boots in New England and flip-flops in Florida).

Applying theory to reality
Below we have our prototypical geek.
What a dork!
We'll call the first shot O.G., Original Geek. We'll have him untuck his shirt, since you should never tuck a t-shirt shirt into your jeans, particularly without a belt (more on that in future Geek to Chic). Funny how an act as simply as untucking can make someone look better.
Dork with shirt untucked Still dorky
Take off the sneakers and put on some casual dress shoes (in this case a flat front shoe from DSW, about $20), and he does look a little better. Not much, though.

We'll keep working on him and make him look a little better in the next Geek to Chic.

Financial Tips: Edition Fifteen

Buying a car
Minimizing your loss on the worst investment you will ever make

The worst investment you will ever make will likely be each car you buy, in succession. More than a house, cars are a money pit. They lose value immediately upon purchase, both new and used. You will inevitably be forced to perform repairs on top of regular maintenance work. The maintenance and repair work you do will not add value to your newly purchased asset, like they would to a home. Insurance prices are always rising, plus registration and inspection costs. You might also be subject to taxes on the vehicle. All of this, and I still have not yet mentioned that the price of gasoline is at an all-time high. But most people in the United States either do not have access to public transportation or it is a major inconvenience to use it. Also, having a car gives you immense freedom to roam about at leisure, so most of us own at least one. So; how to pay for the car?

Before I get into paying for the car, make sure you do a few things before buying:
One, get the car history via the VIN number if your car is used.
Two: Buy used. It is less expensive, more practical, and still new to you.
Three: run your existing car into the ground before buying a new one. Until repair costs exceed $2,000, it is generally less expensive to keep your current vehicle.
Lastly, buying a car might be exciting, but the less emotional of an experience you make it the better decisions you will be able to make.

Cold, hard cash
Having cash in the bank to buy a car feels great, but it pales in comparison to the satisfaction of being able to say to a car salesman that you will not only not need financing, but that they will need to lower their price if they want your money.

Cash gives you leverage. Dealers may tell you, "We make more off you by financing." but the truth is that you have money, they will not need to run a credit check, and you are standing in their dealership. If they give you an offer you are unhappy with, you can give them your contact information and walk away. Wait a week and make sure they will not go any lower before reconsidering their bid.

The final benefit: you owe nothing because you have paid for the car in full.

Financing
If you cannot afford to pay the full amount of a vehicle, reconsider whether you really need a new car. If you still do, pay as much as you can and finance the rest through a third party. The dealer will almost always give you a poor deal from a financing standpoint. Also, if you need to stretch the financing out over more than a three-year period, you are likely exceeding your price range by buying more car than you can reasonably afford. Financing for periods over three years also suggests that you are paying more for the car than it is worth.

Consider multiple sources of financing. Drawing equity out of your home might soundfaily crazy, but mortgage rates are generally less expensive than car loans. If this is not an option, visit online lenders who specialize in car loans such as . Financing through the dealer generally works out in the best interest of the dealer, not you.

Before you accept a loan, find out what the payments are and calculate the present value of the stream of payments. You need to do this because it will tell you how much you are actually paying for the car in today's dollars. For more information on how the time value of money can help (or hinder you), please refer to my entry on how a $2,300 HDTV can cost $1,600, or wikipedia.

Lease
Leasing a car is foolish. You are taking an already poor investment that drains you of money and - after making years of payments - you still own nothing. Leasing with an option to buy mitigates this somewhat, but lease terms are inevitably less favorable than financing through a third party. Avoid leasing at all costs.

Sell your soul
If you have a soul, you might want to consider selling it for a car. While a soul is important, it is of little use to you if you are unable to get from point A to point B. Some individuals lack a soul and would gladly give you the cash equivalent, which should be enough to pay for a car. Consider approaching lawyers, plastic surgeons, and recent convicts that might be interested in replacing their own corrupt soul. You might also consider celebrities, lottery winners, and successful artists who have lost their souls. If you are still unable to come up with money for a car after exhausting your options for paying in cash, financing, leasing, and selling your soul, you might consider selling a family member. You might love them, but it will still feel pretty good dropping them off with their new owner in your new car.

Tips
Payments aside, I found what worked best for me was to find the exact car I wanted from a year when the car was likely coming off its lease. In my case, it was 2001 and I was buying a 1999, since 3-year leases are fairly common. I faxes a description of the car I wanted - manual transmission, make, model, year, etc. - to every dealership in a 30 mile radius. I received a number of responses, picked through a couple, and got a good deal from a dealer about an hour south of my city. I highly recommend this method.

The last tip I'll give you is to peruse the following site for more helpful information:
Car Buying Tips

I've killed you, and no, I don't feel bad about it.

I have never once felt guilty for pumping another human being full of flak in Unreal Tournament. Quite the opposite, I feel the greatest of satisfaction as that individual is torn into unidentifiable giblets of flesh. Of course, my target was attempting to eviscerate me as well, but there are plenty of video games that cannot claim self-defense.

I love you, Unreal! Don't ever change!

What's wrong with me?
Nothing. Conflict is how we and the rest of the animal kingdom have resolved every major issue since the beginning of life. Single-celled organisms fight each other for survival in perpetuity. If you do not prescribe to evolution, even God has settled issues through violence from time-to-time, such as smashing Sodom and Gomorrah into oblivion. Only since society has come into existence have we as a race been able to mitigate violence through political debate and judicial rulings.

Our entertainment is rooted in conflict. In football, players battle for possession of the ball. Boxing, Fencing, Soccer and numerous other contests based on skill, strength, and aggression make up a multi-billion dollar entertainment industry. Movies, books, and our own history are littered with violence and conflict. Half of high school history is memorizing dates of key battles in history, how they were fought, and won or lost.

Of course, courtroom dramas and international politics do not translate well into video games, unless you include Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.

Games that Teach
There are games that have no violent content at all. Simcity, Bejeweled, Harvest Moon, and four-out-of-five Wii Sports minigames all lack violent content. Of course, I had to rack my brain for these exampes as Command & Conquer, Asteroids, Commander Keen, and hundreds of violent games flooded to mind. Even the most innocuous titles, such as Pikmin, Mario Kart, and Gran Turismo have some violent content. Still, games that foster cooperation and teamwork - even when based in violence - have numerous positive benefits (Effects of Video Game Violence on Prosocial and Antisocial Behaviors, Mickey Suhn Lee and Rachel Barr, Ph.D, Georgetown College). Also, games do exist where certain moral decisions affect the game directly, such as Black & White and Wootex's aforementioned Fable. But I'd be pretty bored without some Serious Sam from time to time.

Care for some farming?

What's the point?
We know that violence is pervasive in society. Violence in books has been around since humans first committing ink to cave wall. Violence in movies has been around as long as celluloid. I'm not violent, but I enjoy violence in my entertainment. Why the big stink about video games?

There have been studies conducted that link violence and video games. Video games have a physiological impact on the player. There is also evidence showing that video game violence desensitizes players to real-world violence. Parents are worried about their kids.

When games with realistic violence are targeted at children too young to discern between right and wrong we do not know what the long-term effects will be on those kids. This is why the ESRB is so important. Violence in gaming is entertainment, but we need to protect those that may not be able to tell the difference or who might learn inappropriate behavior from the games. It may not always be enforced, parents might not do a great job interpreting it, but it's there. Just like the MPAA's ratings, the ESRB's ratings are not perfect, but it is the best system we have to help parent's decide what games are appropriate for their children.

Real vs. Unreal
Even my wife worries, not about games like Unreal where there are men in spacesuits and aliens, or Zelda where the violence is cartoony and enemies vanish in a puff of smoke. She worries about situations based in reality, such as Grand Theft Auto III, where the people look and dress like people on the street, use weapons available today, and commit crimes that would have consequences in the real world. Wootex's example of the Janitor was excellent: a regular person doing a normal job and you, the player, have the option to extinguish their life.


Which is more easily discernable as fantasy, GTA III or Zelda? Personally, I see more people wearing do-rags in Boston than Minish Caps.

Just because you and I know the difference between right and wrong does not mean that the kid down the street "gets" the difference. As long as crazy people shoot up their high schools and colleges, parents and other authorities are going to look for any reason outside themselves to use as a scapegoat. After all, it can't be the parents' fault that they were never around when their son or daughter was growing up, that they fought all the time, drank too much, or beat their child; it must have been those damn video games!

The truth is that gaming is just a factor, a small component of any individual's life. Maybe they are a little more aggressive or even little more angry from gaming. Maybe. But no game is going to push a sane person over the edge to blow up a building or take their own life.

Don't blame the game.

Wootex recently posted his question over whether video games should incorporate the psychological impact of taking life virtually. If it was central to the gameplay and fun, I say sure. The aforementioned was not necessarily a response, but was inspired by his post.

Resources
http://www.apa.org/releases/videogames.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_game_controversy
http://mentalhealth.about.com/cs/familyresources/a/vidgameviolence.htm
http://mentalhealth.about.com/od/cybermentalhealth/a/vidviolence805.htm
http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn8449 http://news.google.com/news?um=1&tab=wn&hl=en&q=violence+%22video+game%22