Anyone watching it? I just picked up the season one DVD (because I missed about half the season 'cause of work :P), awesome show. If any of you guys are fans of the Shield, I highly recommend it. Heck, if you enjoy great dramas, this is a must have. Just...you know, not something you'd want to watch with the kids ;). Anyway, take care guys.

Not in a literal sense, mind you. I mean, I'm sure we've all done it once or twice: you see this amazing gadget, and rush out to buy it, and pat yourself on the back for a wise decision. A few years later, a sleeker, better version comes out that does even more amazing things. God knows I've done it a few thousand times: cell phones, iPODs, Gameboys, PSPs, computers, well, the list can go on for pages. At times, I like to think of technology as a fashion sense. As time goes by, what you thought was awesome a year ago is obsolete. Heck, if you ask me, I think it's moving a little too fast. I remember ten years ago, my first "big boy" gadget was a pager. I felt so bad ass when my mom paged me, then I had to hunt for a phone, just to hear her say she'd be late picking me up from school. A year later, everyone had cell phones. So, with the right amount of begging and doing chores for free for a fraction of my life, I got my sweet Nokia ( the one with the changeable face plates). Then, it was all about the Motorolla, then the PDAs, and just when I thought my Blackberry Storm was the phone of my dreams, now I want to trade it in for an iPhone. Heck, five years ago, Xbox was the king of draw dropping console graphics on a crappy, twelve inch television. Now, I can't get my money's worth unless I fork over the dough for a Bravia the size of a freakin' wall. They say, when technology improves, life gets easier. I'd like to meet the guy that said that, and smack him. Technology is getting to demigod status, yes, but my wallet's going anorexic on me. I guess that inventors believe that by the time their patent comes to reality, everyone in the world would be millionaires. One one hand, if we buy those things, we get broke...if we don't buy it, they lose the money. So, really...I think we're way over our heads with the whole technological advancements nowdays. Unless someone high up doesn't truly know the value of a dollar, they have to...you know, slow it down a couple years ;)

Anyone know what Skype is? Anyway, it's a video chat I used to talk to my ex over (yeah, I decided to stay the heck out of this woman's life), and occasionally lie to her sister that I'm still waiting for her (hey, she's 15...she could do without the grim fates of adults). And stupid me has my profile to auto log in, so when I boot up my computer, sometimes I don't even know I'm online. For the past week now...I've been getting weird invitations to some very beautiful women. The catch? After twenty seconds of chatting, I'm invited to join the online sensation of going to their ameteur porn websites. You know, that "watch me strip in front of the webcam" shows you have to pay money for. I mean, I can get that for free right here :P. There's only so much of "Hey, I think you're cute! Wanna be my friend?" I can take before I get the urge to uninstall the damn thing. God, the evils my baby has to put up with when I fire her up...and don't get my started on Facebook. Man, I got so many stories of weirdos adding me to their list, it's not even funny. It's the "I think I went to your school" and the woman's from freaking England kind of freaky. I always used to joke that one day, I'll get all the broads...but I didn't mean on the INTERNET!! :( Anyway, take care guys.

I never quite understood that phrase, much less poked fun at the musician who had to put that line in his song. Still, I feel the effects of that quote. To elaborate more, I'm sure you all remember of my ex-fiancee who cheated on me, isolated me, and just recently, came back to me. And we had a good thing going on for a while. But, I couldn't help but to pull her over one day and ask her why she was so hesitant...why everytime I looked into her eyes, the magic just wasn't there like it was back then. It turns out that she just couldn't get over what she did all that time ago. How that guy hurt her so bad, to this day she can't get over it. I mean, the cat was married, had a kid, and played this poor woman. And I'm trying to relieve her stress, showing her that I still care like I did all those years ago, and she wants time for herself. While I respect that decision, and I can also understand...I don't want to pass up on other opportunities while I'm waiting for something that has a slight chance of never happening. It's like, everytime we get a little closer, she pushes herself back because I remind her of an awful past. Everytime I talk to her, it feels dead because the conversations have no meaning. While I will wait...I mean, I love her so much that I will wait for her to come back to her right mind...it's just that waiting is the ultimate test of endurance: you see the better things in life walk by because you desire this one specific thing...and you start to wonder if all that waiting is really worth it in the end. Not to mention that I'm waiting for something that's not one hundred percent guaranteed.

Well, it's been a few days of looking at the world at a different angle. I never though I'd have a reason to quit smoking, and now I'm clawing at the desk trying to beat addiction. I'm planning to go back to college next year (for real this time :P). And, I had a crazy idea of shooting for a motorcycle licence. I saw this sweet Slipknot helmet and one day just imagined how sweet it would be for me to tear ass with a two wheeler on the freeway. Okay, I'm not exactly going to pop wheelies or drive like an ass, but I have to admit...bikes are awesome. And I don't have to give people rides. Anyway, other than that I've been tearing out my hair trying to get some stuff done before my girl gets back from her tour. Which even to this day, still trips me out. I get back with my ex, and the broads at work gush over me at how cute this situation is. You know...women that have more than two boyfriends are looking at me like a hero because I go back to a girl that cheats on me. Man, how ironic. I'm telling you guys...I'm living the sick fantasies of an evil romance novel writer. And he's laughing at the fact that his main character is a spineless prick who's suprised himself he didn't blow his own brains out over the hard work he's doing trying to please said woman that cheated on him. But, I'm a man of second chances, and believe that mistakes are something you learn from, not hold a grudge against. And hey...if she left a rich guy to go back with me...well then, I must have SOMETHING no ordinary man has. :)

This has been one crazy week. Oh, where to begin...well, first my ex called me up a few days ago, and got back on good times. I mean, I swore I would never talk to this woman again, nor did I expect her to come back to me. Still, she was there, and I just couldn't be a total dick to her, despite the past. I mean, the guy she was with hurt her real bad, and I just didn't have the heart to hold a year old grudge. I mean, one day we're talking, catching up on one year's worth of no communication, and figured out what happened in the first place that made us enemies. The next day we're making out in the park. :D. I won't lie. Despite the fact that she was dead to me all this time, I still thought of her. And now, it's like a subconcious dream come true. I just wanted to find out for myself that despite the anger that was built up inside all this time...if I really was angry. If all those moments where I blew off the chance to move on with another woman was a sign of something other than a lack of confidence. I had exactly three days to find the answer. Friday, she goes back to Kuwait to finish up her tour, and comes back in August...and all I want to know for myself is if I can fulfill the promises that I've made in that short of a time. I mean, these are things that I've turned my back to for years, and only now am I embracing them with a new take on them. I'm more determined to do them, but I do have my limits. I never thought that having a wish fulfilled would feel like a burden sometimes. I mean, I am happy...but for how long? How long can I keep this woman happy without history repeating itself? I'm trying to fix what made us separate in the first place, but I can only go so far in such little time.......................................................................................................... I'm aggressive in my goals as of now, but I'm only human. I slack off, I won't deny it. I just don't want to make it seem like I just sweet talked my way back into her life and then degrade back into my old self. I mean, this woman accepted me as the person unchanged from the last time she saw me, yet offered me a chance at redemption. Which REALLY caught me off guard, because I've given up on everything during the past year. I was someone with no direction in life. Nothing to look foward to. And yet here I am, with so much hope...so worried that one flaw will brush that sliver of happiness out of my grasp. Truth be told, I haven't been this scared in my life. My one chance to live the life I've dreamed of, under a strict deadline....................................... You know what it's like, having every wish you ever had granted all at once...but there's a catch. You have to face every overwhelming goal that you've walked away from, and can't make a single mistake? It's like having to make friends with your mortal enemy. While you have the positive mindset, time hasn't exaclty been generous during your absence. I'm 24 years old...and I have to face all the demons I've ignored since I was 18. While it's great to lift every burden in your life, it's intimidating when you have something at stake. I was given the ability to turn back time...but have to solve the problems of the past in the present day in order to wield that power........................................................................................................................................................... I've been juggling work with budgeting what time I can spare to get some things done earlier, just to have a little breathing room to do another thing, trying to combine THAT with something else I have to do. It's like knowing you have the ability to finish a task at that very moment, but you have to convince the harshest critics in order to succeed. In other words, I can have this done in no time...but my progress is being recorded at a snail's pace so I have to actually WAIT for an answer only to have to do it again because one simple mistake was reported at the last minute. Think of it as getting your driver's licence: first, you have to learn the feel of the car. Then, you have to practice until you know the road by heart. Then you have to repeat the proccess in order to convince Mom that you can operate a vehicle safely. Then you have to take the actual road test. And one minimal mistake means you have to do the entire process all over again. It's exhausting, yet I don't have the luxury to rest................................................ Now, I know it's my fault for allowing everything to build up all at once, then take the challenge to complete them in a set time. But it's not everyday that we get a chance to live the lives we've dreamed about. You either take the challenge and emerge victorious, or take a gamble and lose everything. There's no "almost there" or "so close" for this moment. So, honestly...I don't know if this was a blessing in disguise or an insult to injury. I feel like a rookie being required to know the skills of a supervisor on his first day at work. Anyway, it's going to be a while until I get back to Gamespot. I really have to get this done. I don't mean to pour my emotions out like this, but it's relaxing knowing I'm getting this off my chest, even though I'm only staring at a computer screen.

I just want to talk about boss battles...more specifically, what the hell happened to them? I remember back then, fighting a boss was equivalent to watching two superheroes duke it out. In other words, the face-off was intimidating, brilliant, and the aftermath really made you feel like you've conquered a total war on your lonesome. Nowdays, chances are, 8 times out of 10 the boss battles are lame. I mean, the only time I know I was fighting a boss was the fact that this special guy had a flamboyant entrance, an evil voice and took longer than usual to take down. In other words, they have the impression of squaring off against, say, Magneto in an open city, but in the end it just feels like you called him names, and he walked away because he couldn't think of a better comeback. Nowdays, fighting a boss simply requires you to dodge a few fireballs, wait for an opening, and attack...and do this monotony for fifteen minutes or more. Or, just trade blows until you realize that the only reason why you won this brainless violence is because you can heal yourself, while he can't. In other words, fighting that towering behemoth who is tearing skyscrapers apart with little effort loses that "Wow" effect when all you do is toss endlessly spawning grenades at its weakspot. I mean, where's the pride in that? Would you really feel like a hero knowing that you've trudged through hell to smack the most powerful villain in the galaxy who is capable of causing the world to implode if he snapped his fingers, just to see him run into his car and crash into a wall? To me, it's always been the Last Stand that will make or break the conclusion. And it's extremely dissapointing to see the biggest threat to the world die without going down in flames. For example, the Snake VS Liquid duel on the downed Metal Gear on the PSone was epic because you had absolutely nothing to back you up, and you had to win the fight solely on kicking his ass with your bare hands. While this contradicts everything I said I didn't like about boss battles, it was the atmosphere that set the mood that I really was being a hero in an action game. Waiting for someone to pop out of cover and unload your pistol in slow motion just feel like a chore. If you've played Wanted, you'll know where I'm coming from. Taking on fellow assassins sounds good in theory, especially when you've seen what the movie offered, so you'll feel like tossing this game in the microwave when you find out how these supposedly professional killers never break from their failed routines. Curving bullets is fun, but if all the enemies do is wait for you to kill them, it feels like a lost cause. In other words, the last boss is supposed to symbolize that you've pushed him to the point of desperation where he's not interested in destroying the world, but that he knows he's defeated and just simply wants you dead by any means necessary. Very few games successfully capture that feeling. There's nothing imposing about chasing someone in a preset pattern and relying on good aim to deplete his health bar. While I won't deny that there are a ton of awesome games in my collection, I'm just saying that I feel cheated knowing I didn't pat myself on the back for saving the world.

I won't lie: I was pretty pumped for the Terminator game until I read the review. Come on now...Gears of War with perhaps the world's greatest robots (number 2 next to Robocop. lol). Hell, I was thinking of renting the game just for the trophies that are ridiculously easy to get as well as rewarding as hell: every trophy is gold, idiotically simple to obtain, and I'll get my first Platinum in a couple days. Still, after reading the review (which is rather sad: the iPOD game actually blew the console versions out of the water in reviews) I'm not as ecstatic over watching the movie as I once was. One is the fact that it's PG-13 (Bleh!), and reading about a crappy tie-in just added to that mixture. This actually reminds me of a childhood memory: I was a huge fan of Ninja Turtles, Terminator, Power Rangers...well, just about any hyper violent, cheesy children's cartoon. Before I played videogames, I had to settle for imagination and a handful of badly assembled hunks of plastic that vaguely resembled their respective character. Heck, back in the day, Darth Vader was the new Black Ranger, Leonardo was the new Green Ranger, Spawn was just some dude that kicked ass in that synthetic universe, and Optimus Prime was the Megazord's secret lover, and bore children of Terminators that for some reason, were on a mission to kill the X-Men, which Professor X was replaced by a T-Rex ( I called him Professor Rex. :P ) Anyway, point of the story is, movie cash-ins are the new action figure craze, and just like said action figures, are cheaply assembled, not worth the price, and you'll feel like a doofus the moment you pop the disc in (or move the toy's arm, and watch your childhood dreams burn to ashes as you accidentally break the arm off). Which are two sides of the coin: Terminator made me develop a lower standard for the film, opposed to the Wolverine game, that makes me want to stop procrastinating and just see the movie already. Anyway, I'm back from vacation (and don't ask me about it...it was HORRIBLE. Let's just leave it at that) and I'll just say that during those four days, I actually wished I was at work. Honestly...I had the "hunchback, cellar dwelling mutant, embarassment to the family because he dropped out of college" treatment from people I haven't seen in ten years. I just want to go back to work and get the Hero's Treatment and make me feel better. Anyway, take care fellas.

My jokes can be lame, but at least they're clever. So can my pickup lines. Believe me...you don't want to know what the worst ones were. 1. "You got a fever? 'Cause you're looking HOT!" 2. This one works only when a woman walks through the door: "Holy crap...I'm only 24 and the gates of Heaven are already opening up for me..." 3. "I'd take you to the movies...but I'd be wasting my money. I'll only be looking at you, baby." 4. "I'm a little lost. I'm looking for Saint Peter...oh, my bad. I thought you were an angel." 5. Give her a diamond, then say, "I bought you this really expensive mirror. No, really. It's a mirror. The label said Perfection." 6. When a waitress takes forever with your order. "It's okay...the longer I wait, the longer I get to admire you." 7. The Fonz...Everyone loves the Fonz. 8. Talking to a fat chick: "You're like the Grand Canyon: huge and magnificent." 9. Look really pissed off...then when the woman tries to comfort you, say, "I'm just mad...mad about you, baby." And add a smile. 10. "I have no heart...I gave it to you." Note: Don't try to actually use these...I was just pissing around today, and wanted to make a few people laugh.

Well, now I'm feeling that cold, unforgiving, sadistic chokehold of the horrible economy: nothing can beat waking up in the morning to buy some breakfast, swipe your card in the local ATM, and see that big, smiling -$62 in your checking account. I can go both sides of the coin and say that it was partially my fault for going plastic crazy for the past week, and neglecting to take an accurate measure in my spending habbits. (still, I did buy some nice things...a couple games, that sweet pilot joystick to play HAWX on...a duffel bag full of ten year old movies...) Well, that and my paychecks aren't getting any larger as of lately. But perhaps the most perplexing is the fact that "cash" and "disasters" are now homies, people are getting the bright ideas of raising the prices on everything during this situation. I mean, I pooped my pants when I saw how much they're charging for liquor. A carton of cigarettes cost more than what I carry in my wallet nowdays. And food? Oh, man...don't get me started on how I feel anorexic when I see this scant little turd on my plate that costs $25. In a way, I'm kind of glad that I'm single. Heh. That would be breaking my balls if I had to do the above, times two. It's pretty degrading having to ask my own mom to borrow money because I somehow managed to implode my earnings into the negatives. If there were any good to this story, it's the fact that out of the three girls I have a crush on, it's the big, hairy DUDE that wants my number. That's right...as punishment for having a lousy two weeks, I'll never have hopes of getting laid by the opposite gender. So the moral of the story is this: save your money, or towering, gelatenous homosexuals will flirt with you at work. On a lighter note, I'm taking a vacation next week...I need one BADLY. Anyway, take care people!