The second most useless blog ever in history!!!!!

(or perhaps THE most useless blog ever..since I'm just repeating it, there isn't as much impact)

Lately I've been having the most weird dreams I ever had. To start it up, I know I am not alone who ca do this, but alot of people say they can't. I'm talking about controlling your dreams. You know, control yourself, do what you want, think what you;re going to do and then do it or choose not to do it. Alot of people told me they can't control themselves within dreams, and some say they can and I'm part of those who can which might add to my dream problems. Let me tell you about it.

For the past few weeks, my dreams have become more and more realistic to my mind. Feeling real, when I wake up I actually wonder if I am dreaming, or if I actually did it. When I wake up I do have a really hard time telling if all of this was a dream basicaly. Days after days it gets worst. Any of you heard about that illness very few people have (i forgot its name) that makes them unable to see the difference between a dream and reality? I'm slowly becoming that way..if you want. On with the major part related with the topic title.

Lately in my dreams I've been dodging death alot. Seeing MY car crash on the road and burst in flames..somehow I'm in another car right behind it..seeing people come to kill me..somehow I go blind and I wake up..basicaly when you see yourself die in a dream..you wake up..right? Well 2 nights ago was different..I actually died..and the dream kept on going further. I died and I could live death, experience death in my dream, how I was after death, living that suposed life after death. Might sound spooky in a way, but let me say I found it pretty sweet. Anyway my problem is..I did actually tell myself "that's it..I died..my girlfriend recently dreamed I died out of cancer and she was dreaming right..I just died..I finally crossed to the other side" and I kept going on being dead, living my death to the fullest. When I woke up, as strange as it is I didn't know what was happening, where I was, what was I doing here, why was I alive when I just died. After what seemed such a long period of time..I finally realised I was only dreaming..that I had just woke up. My girlfriend was sleeping next to me and only thing I could do is hold her tight and I actually had tears coming down my cheeks telling myself I didn't lose her.

Anyway, it doesn't happen only with dreams about death or near death experiences..it happens with every dreams I have..I never know wether or not they are real or just dreams before a good lenght of time. I see stuff that we usually don't see in real life, yet they feel so real..they seem so real..I can truely breath in them..turely feel the things I touch..truely think..truely live and do the same as I can do in my everyday life. I know this might be a really bad thing, but nothing yet as been REALLY wrong with me while I am awake. I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head and put em somewhere. This is where I decided to post them. It just totally freaks me out. the only way I truly can tell whether or not they were dreams is because dreams usually are much shorter than an actual day in my life..but everything just gets along together starting from the day I had to the dream making it seem like tomorrow's actual day and stuff..it's just..scary.

So I have come to two conclusions on this..either I'm going crazy..or I have an over developed sub conscious making my dreams seem more than just a dream. Or perhaps I simply have too much imagination? I'll probably never know. Even if i get declared as crazy, I'll be crazy, a crazy person doesn't realise they are crazy which then I wouldn't believe a word of it. Thinking I'll never figure out probably is what freaks me out the most.

Conclusion: Either my dreams truely are changing to be more realistic, or I'm thinking too much. Man, I could write a novel! I am totally unable to analyze my dreams anymore, they are too real and **** up.

This shall be a very small blog. I revisited The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass forum board and it angers me. Why? because people still complain about the stylus controls of the game..after SO long..people sill find the time to complain about it..I'd enjoy it if one day..just one day..people could stop complaining about a game that isn't even near being released hence that they never even could try. End of my short blog.

S o I just got back and I've got one thing to say..man is this job ever boring..but gotta win the money if I want new video games! lol. Basicaly, we do mouldings (i think that's how it is called). Ya know them things you put at the bottom of a wall question of fashion lol. It's boring. really boring..plus we're only 2 to run the whole thing and theres 2 machines..but basicaly I gotta inspect eahc moulding so it is good for packaging..i also gotta pakcage em..i gotta fill the machine with plastic mix for it to make mouldings..i gotta make the mix..i gotta sorta cook the mix..i gotta make sure them bands that prints on the mouldings never runs out..i gotta make boxes for packaging..basicaly when you're not used to it, it's allot of stuff to do. But I'll get the hang of it sometime. I work again onight at 11pm, the shifts rotates every 2 weeks so yeah. It's pretty well paid but you'd expect that from a very repeatitive and boring job. The dude told me I'm doing pretty well but that I still lack the speed they got, but that's normal, it was my first day, or night should I say. Anyway, it's just for the winter, so yep..but let's say if I had any other job at the tip of my fingers..I'd dump this one pretty quick..had no problem stayin up by the way, I was wide awake the whole time but now my legs feel REALLY tired lol I can barely walk straight. Anyway that's it for the Job blog. Last log about it. Metal Gear Solid Portable Ops and Final Fantasy III, here I come whenever I get my pay! lol.

So today some girl called me for a new job, since I wasn't there, my dad got the call instead of me, he called my girlfriend's cell, and I called them back. I have yet to know what's my job, but I'm starting right tonight at 11 PM, finishing at 7 AM tomorrow morning. Yep, a night shift. I'm used to working on night shifts in the winter (for the record, in summer I am a landscaper, plan ona ssociating with my boss next summer hence making more profit for myself ;p) but this time around I didn't plan on what happened. I was wondering why there weren't any factory calling me back since it's usually pretty darn easy to get a job in a factory, ya'll have to agree with this (unless over here is the only place where it is easy to get in). Thing is, they'd usually call me and ask me to come the next day for my first, but today they asked for me tonight and it's really hard on my body. I've slept all night, woke up earlier today cause I had to drive my girlfriend to her school for some project, I waited outside in the car, that's when she got the call from my father. So basicaly tonight I'm going to work from 11 PM to 7 AM with an entire day unslept behind me which will lead me to be PRETTY tired by the end of the job. Will I make it this far? Sure will..simply because I have to and getting some money sure as hell won't hurt my bank account. All I know is this is probably the plastic factory I applicated for..but I'm not really sure. Not knowin what I'll do is the reason for this to be "part 1" of my blog. I'll write a second part tomorrow morning, or whenever I wake up from sleep tomorrow, to tell ya'll friends what I do exactly. I expect this to be a boring job, but since it isn't my main job (landscaping is, of course) I don't really are what I'll do, as long as it gets cheddar in my pockets. Wish me good luck for stayin awake buddies! Till Part 2, ya'll have a good day and night of sleep while I discover what's my new job.

I updated my PSP. I know alot of people totally whine bout the later firmwares because they can't run emulators and what not. It's their opinions..I am quite sastified of all the updates Sony makes for the PSP.

This time it has big updates..new features which I can't wait to try.. There's a new option under Photo in the menu. It's called "Camera" and it allows you to connect a USB Camera on the PSP, you cna record videos or take still images, use it for some chat I believe stuff that I don't plan on using it for..I really just want tot ake pictures with it. Unfortunately, no signs of a camera by Sony that fits the PSP. I even checked Playstation.com japan for the PSP accessories and not race of it.. I thought maybe japan had it since the NA doesn't. Too bad, I'll have to wait longer.

Another feature, well two features, that I'll be able to try someday.. Under Network, you can choose "Remote Play". It allows you to connect to the PS3 (if you own one..I will one day..one day next year) and use the PSP as a remote I believe. The other feature is playing PS1 games on the PSP from what I've heard..you connect the PSP to your PS3, and download PS1 games from the online store right on your PSP. Must be sweet.

I just can't wait for my PS3 nor for the camera.

I finally beat Metal Gear Solid 2 again, which now I will jump on the third title, Snake Eater, and try to beat it before the release of Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops for PSP. So yep, I finally udnerstand the story behind MGS2. The first time I played it..I didn't understand **** about it. Now I do understand, perfectly. Rose leaves me begging for death, she's just so annoying, Raiden is supsoedly gay from what Reilly says, secret identity thing. Could be entirely possible. Still, it is a good game. End of the blog, small one. Snake Eater is amazing.

God is Rose **** anoying I can't believe how annoying she is. How can Raiden even be with her? I'd slap the **** and dump her uncounscious body in a coffin to bury her alive just to hear her scream till she dies. Yes, she is THAT **** annoying. He's trying to save the world and she's all "bla bla bla jack, bla bla bla OPEN YOURSELF TO ME JACK bla bla bla" CANT YOU SEE HES GOT A THOUSAND TERRORIST CHASING HIS ASS ONLY DREAMING TO TAKE AWAY HIS LIFE AND THREATENING THE ENTIRE WORLD OF A NUCLEAR STRIKE YOU DUMB **** **** IS IT THAT HARD TO SEE THIS!?

Thank you, I feel much more lighter now that I have spoken my mind about that freaky annoying attention whore.

So I finally came around buying Final Fantasy XII. Only Final Fantasy game I haven't played was FFXI and that's because it is an online only game and since I never had any connection on my PS2 and had a really weak PC, I never played it.

Anyway, so far so good. The story of FFXII seems rather nice (although I am not far in the game) and the gameplay is...different. Instead of having that screen fight you go to everytime a random battle appears like most FF games, this time you actually see the enemies and battle them on field right away, but the action-time battle is still being used which makes for an interesting mix.

I shall play more of that game and who knows, maybe I'll write a review..we'll see in the future.

This sure will be a short blog, it is just to let you know that I have given up my anger on Megaman Zero as I have beaten it and finally seen the existence of the secret Cyber-Elf: Jackson. Now what? I'm going to try and beat the game with an S-Rank through every missions on Hard Mode (last time I finished with an A-Rank) and also will play my game with the Jackson elf to gain the Ultimate mode, which will be by far much easier to get that than the elf itself. Whoop! whoop!