I know, I know I still havent posted part 2 of my other blog but im working on it and trust me its gonna be good when its down. For now though I was talking with another poster on the GGD in the thread "what games would you like to see made" and this is what I came up with: I picture the game as a third person action style game with an over the shoulder camera view a la RE4. There are lite RPG elements to the game such as improving your driving, your shooting, your hand to hand combat, your investigation skills, interrogation skills and so on. Rewarded over time just by doing those things over and over a la San Andreas or Oblivion for example. The plot starts you off as a rookie going through the academy as the turorial section and the game opens up into ultimatley taking down a tightly knit drug syndicate, serial killers, etc. You could also have the choice later on to be corrupt or not, ferret out corrupt cops as part of some quest. Oh and the game should have some sort of morality meter that measures your actions towards either corrupt cop or hero cop! Killing civilians, arresting innocent people, causing wanton destruction makes the meter go down but doing opposite things makes it go up. You would get rewarded with ranks after doing so many missions going all the way from rookie to police cheif over the course of the few years the game would take place as. And the game would still be playable either if you're a corrupt cop or not- it would just evolve differently. If given the right voice actors, story, and character development, with the mix of some lite rpg elements, a sandbox feel, and tight combat a game about being a cop could be done so right it would be incredible. And im talking about a realistic high production value style game with awesome characters and choices to make... not some cartoony GTA ripoff either.

Well im a little bored and searching for a new blog idea (well new for me anyways) usually I stick to talking about games, strippers or beer. Or games you play with strippers and beer. Or beer you drink with strippers, or stripping while playing games with beer... or something. So below is 10 random people, places or things I hate- featuring my trademark wit and panache. If it was a crime to love yourself too much they'd 'ave locked me up years ago they would! Since im a little time constrained im gonna split this blog in half and give you my top 5 some other time cooming soon. But for now here is 10 random things I hate! Numero Ten Fish Thats right fish. I can't stand them, they disgust me. The feel, look, taste and smell of them. Its like a nuclear assault of gross to every one of the senses. And look at this one! Two mouths! Thats what happens when you live in a huge oil industry city where rivers and lakes become the dumping bed of waste. Mega oil corporations run this place so they keep any law enforcement or environmental agency in their pocket. Nice. Now imagine frying this little fella up and eating him? *barf* Numero Nine Tequila Did you ever wake up naked on the subway beside another man with michael jacksons face tattoed on your ass and a homeless guy stealing your pants? If you have experienced something similiar than it was probably because you drank too much tequila. Lets just say ive learned the hard way that nothing good ever comes from drinking Tequila. Numero Eight The ukulele ukuleles. Annoying to play. Annoying to hear. Annoyingly small. Annoying word to spell. I was forced to play one of these in band growing up in elementary school. Yeah man this thing is rockin, I had so many friends and hot girls throw their underwear at me because of my mad ukulele skills. Oh wait that was in bizarro world. Numero Seven Fake Brittish Acents No no Austin is ok because it works for him. To everyone else using a fake brittish acent on planet earth: You sound like a godamn idiot. If you are not brittish than do not speak with the accent. It seems like a pretty obscure thing to hate, but once you meet 5000 girls from farmsville Canada that speak with such an acent you want to curl up into a ball and cry yourself to sleep because such idiocy runs rampant. Numero Six The Llama What the hell are these things supposed to be anyways? A giant rat mixed with dog and goat and horse? Whats worse than them looking creepy and insidious is the fact that they were designed this way-- by SATAN. Thats right know how everyone thinks the goat is the beast of evil? The llamas caused that rumor. Remember WW2? Llamas. Remember that time you caught your wife with another man? He was secretly a Llama in disguise.

Ahhh sexual innuendos you make my life complete! Well with that out of the way welcome to a GME megablog extravaganza! Now that my weekend of mega debauchery is at an end I thought id start out everyones week with an awesome blog from yours truly filled with innuendos, impressions, reviews, updates and some strange itch you just cant get rid of. Thanks Valek... First on to the business. Inspired by a friend who recently did the same thing im doing some spring cleaning. I have nearly 200 people on my friends list here. Thats quite a bit. Fairly odd then that I get... oh 8-10 replys per blog I write, next to no review recomendations, pms or anything else. Im not some cheap floosie you just add to your friends list to say you tapped that then, dont call me in the morning! :evil: So if you are not leaving a reply in this blog you will be deleted. Obvious exceptions to my long time real friends and associates here, but to everyone else you are dead weight. So if you are looking for some kind of thrill I suggest you leave me the hell alone and go rent pirate goat for an hour or two. Pirate goat knows no mercy! Now then on to the next order of business. Some game reviews! Ive recently finished two games (as in like today) so heres my thoughts on my experiences: I can do game reviews like gamepro too!: This game is so awesome it will give you a constant erection for 8 hours and have supermodels come over to your house to sex you up! Hold on. Before I go into the review I feel a rant coming on. Do you see this cover? Well unless you are a blind leper messiah disguised as a grilled cheese sandwhich reading this by brail then I assume so. Gamepro calls this...and I quote "the perfect shooter" Its a good thing that I base absolutley everything I do and buy in my life from Gamepro because its obvious they couldnt be overexaggerating any. Thanks Gamepro! I guess the rushed sloppy game filled with bugs I got was an elaborate conspiracy game made by one of Ubisofts rivals to spoil their franchise and ruin their stocks- devious! Seriously this industry exists in such a vacuum of ****ing corruption, lies, buyoffs and idiocy I am surprised the sheer level of stupidity dosent cause a rift in the universe and create a blackhole timewarp that summons an elder god of **** to defecate on us all. When it happens you know who to blame. Anyways, yeah. RSV2 is an obvious rushed game and you can feel it the whole way through. The first game was a fantastic game but this one not so much. The story like the first one is merely ok but continues on with the plot hooks left from the first title. The graphics are good and the sound effects are nice. The guns sound and feel different, loud, and powerfull. The voice acting is decent and actually one of the best parts of the game is sneaking up on a room with some soliders talking to each other like regular people, sometimes talking about some pretty funny things. The gunplay is good but a lot of it takes place at long range which makes any gun without a scope on it pretty useless. I never used a shotgun or close ranged weapon the whole game. However the gunplay falters in a lot of areas because of a stuttering, ridiculous framerate. Just to give you an idea of how annoying this is im going to paint you a mental picture! Picture this: you are on a hot date with the girl (or guy) of your dreams. You have taken her (him) out to dinner and a movie, have wooed them and are on the couch together at your place starting to get intimate. Things are pleasent... awesome... life is great. All of a sudden your mentaly incompetent drunk roomate runs into the room and throws up hotdogs and spaghetti o's all over her. Spaghetti o's!! Yeah its like that. Fail. 5/10 Another short Gamepro review of pure awesome: This game is so cool that it cures cancer, solves the worlds economic problems, heals the sick, washes your stanky underwear and gives you the supernatural mutant ability to control goats with your mind! Yay I finished a good game for a change! Seems all ive been playing this year is refined pirate goat droppings, so anything remotely good is like a shining beacon of light piercing through a bleak wasteland of pure assery. Thats right assery- best word ever. Ok, so the graphics are a little dated by todays standards and thats not a good thing for a game only a couple years old. But to be honest most games I stop paying attention to the graphics after about a half hour when im sucked into the gameplay so unless its really bad looking its not a big deal to me. The story pits you as Nathan Hale, a solider in WW2 except instead of nazis attacking aliens invade and apparently you are the only one who isnt completly useless left alive on earth to defeat the enemy and... whoa wait a second. Did this story just mix WW2 and the alien invasion scenario story used in every first person shooter ever into one? Its like theres some contagious disease going around that everytime someone thinks of an original idea their genitals fall off. Ok so I dont care about story in a FPS game not named Half Life anyways. I usually turn the sound off and listen to music. When characters talk onscreen I pantomime my own voices usually depicting the characters in sexual situations. Oh come on, im not the only one who does it. Its like developers arent even trying anymore when it comes to storylines, plot or character development. Do you have any idea how many FPS games ive played that involve either killing nazis or aliens? No me either, I lost count after I reached a number so high my ass turned itself inside out and farted on me in protest. After all this complaining though the gameplay holds up. Theres no tech issues, the battles are fun and fairly larged scaled and epic in feel. The game is also tough as hell too which is a nice change with all of todays games made for whiny losers. Everything is solid and fun, no real complaints. Thank you for a good game Insomniac- I mean it 8.5/10 Now onto some shorter impressions of the games im currently playing but havent finished yet: A Gamepro first impression: This game was so awesome it automatically made me a super spy and now I travel the world with james bond fighting half man half spider creatures that shoot acid out their ass. Ok im gonna get the good stuff out of the way here first before I go onto my rant for this one. The graphics are amazing. Im playing this in 1080p and its gorgeous. The voice acting is great and the music creates a good atmosphere. The guns and sound effects are top notch. Now that thats out of the way: the story couldnt be any farther stuck up its own ass if it tried. Seriously ive finished the other 3 games at least twice each and I have very little clue as to what the hells going on in this game. A smoking money? A talking hand that mind controls people? Weird mech things with women legs that toe stab people? A sentient computer that controls all the worlds soliders through nanomachines? (whatever the **** they are) Seriously im just waiting for the part where I get my own pet goat sidekick that speaks with a scottish accent and the supernatural ability to grow gigantic boobs and slap people to death with them. Im so done with japanese games. A Gamepro first impression: This game.....uh...is so wicked that.....uh.. hot angels came down from the sky to touch my tiny gentials. How much am I being paid again? Picture this. You are walking down the street minding your own business when all of a sudden someone runs up and kicks you in the nuts as hard as they can, laughs in your face, and then steals $60 from your wallet. But wait! Thats just the start to the day! Then this same person later breaks into your house, makes out with your girlfriend, kills and eats your dog, steals your car and then sets your house on fire. Just in case you arent following, the person in this analogy is Too Human. I feel mere words can't properly convey the epic level of hatred this game inspires within me- but godamn am I gonna try. Everything about this game is the most epic level of failure known to mankind. First of all whoever came up with the idea that the right analog stick should be used for combat instead of a camera in an action game should be sexualy violated by a rabid seaturtle. I hope you like having hordes of enemys swarm you only to get a pleasent view of the ****ing ceiling or wall while your trying to fight. Yeah me too. I ****ing love it. ESPECIALLY when it kills you and you are forced to reload. Which involves some cyber angel coming down from the sky, lifting you gently into her arms, and flying slowly away. Seriously cyber skank take your ****ing time why don't you. Whos idea was this? I guess it can't be too bad if you dont die that often. OH WAIT YOU DO! Only one class in the entire game can heal itself so expect to see miss cyber whore all godamn day long, while you're trying to save the world. Save the world you say? Sounds exciting! Actually no, you are saving the world from the same four robots over and over. So its not, its tedious. What's really awesome is fighting a hoard of enemys that swarm you in melee and having a group of rocket launcher weilding robots far in the distance sniping you with rockets and causing you to fly all over the place, while the camera goes completly insane. Oh yeah you get a gun though. Although its completly useless and does no damage, especially when you are swarmed in melee with enemys. Awesome. You may as well stick it straight up your own ass and make super plasma happy time in your butt for all the good it does. And when all this isnt happening you are running through gigantic empty areas that serve no purpose at all- other than to FURTHER PISS YOU OFF, because they are so big and take so long to get through. Also all the areas look the same and its easy to get lost and wander around in circles. Also the animations are horrible and it feels like you are ice skating everywhere, there is no sense of physics or weight to anything. And you move slowly. Wicked. You could simulate the experience this game provides by sticking your godamn head in the oven and praying for the sweet sweet release of death. Id rather change my name to big bertha and sell myself to the sex trade than finish this game, but sheer godamn hate is gonna force me through this one- I hate it that much I can't let it win. Just call me bertha I guess! My sex specialty is super happy plasma time in the butt while pirate goat watches and metal gear trys to explain an insane story and Rainbow Six runs around in godamn circles all day long like a kid in third grade thats been sniffing paint for 3 hours.

Welcome to the world of darkness. Where nothing is what it seems: manipulation, debauchery and other pits of human depravity shall soon encompass your every waking moment.

Vampire The Masquerade Bloodlines is an open ended, western flavor role playing game based on White Wolfs popular pen and paper game. The story starts you off as a newly created vampire whos sire gets destroyed, and embroils you in a plot of political intrigues, back-stabbings, and betrayls almost immediatley. You start off the game by creating your character male or female, from one of several clans in the game that effectivley is your "class", what bloodline you choose detrimines what supernatural powers you will have to develop, and wether you are more or less inclined towards a social manipulater, physical brute, or a mixture of both. Each clan has its own long and varied history, and indeed having several different ones available will make you want to play the game multiple times through as there are a myriad number of ways you can tackle any given situation. Some clans can turn invisible, dominate humans into commiting suicide on the spot, cast powerful blood magics, move extremly fast or walk into swarms of bullets and just shrug it off. And thats just for starters. How each character reacts to you also depends on several other things, like wether you are male or female, how high your seduction, intimidation or persuasion skill is and what faction you belong too. Welcome to LA neonate, be carefull whos toes you step on or you may find yourself in the kiss of final death The game takes place in modern day Los Angeles, with all the grit and dirt represented to an extreme level. There are four different sections of the city to explore starting off in Sant Monica, then moving into Downtown, then Hollywood and finally Chinatown. There a large number of sidequests to complete and most of them are really varied, fun and original to partake in. Finishing all the sidequests and soaking in the game will take you around 40-50 hours to finish your first time through. The game runs on Half Lifes source engine and conveys very realistic facial expressions and emotions just like Half Life did. What this effectivley accomplishes is a deep level of immersion and sense of feeling and true emotion for the characters you interact with. Because the source engine is so flexible and well crafted the graphics still hold up fairly well in todays gaming world, especially the characters. This presents us to Vampires largest strength: the atmosphere. Everything about the game feels meticulously and loving crafted to create a belivable, albeit supernatural world. This is one of the games where you can feel the developers labor of love gone into it. Everything is about drawing you deeper and deeper into the world where its just an absolute joy to come back to.

Remember young one, as a rule of thumb not everyone is what they appear to be....

Its other great strength is how open ended and flexible it is. There are often several ways to approach and handle any given situation. Although there is a fair share of combat and you will have to fight from time to time there are many instances where you can use stealth, seduction, persuasion, intimidation or supernatural means such as domination to solve the problems and quests presented to you. The musical score is made up of licensed songs by mostly gothic and heavy metal bands with some original work here and there and does the trick in conveying a twisted and dark atmosphere. The sound effects are likewise top notch with sickening blood and gurgling sounds when you feed on your victims loud and powerful weapon effects, and excellent top of the line voice acting. So how do you fight something thats already dead, quite insane and on fire? The game originally shipped with a lot of bugs that hindered the otherwise great game but years of dedicated fan patches and the like have solved every glitch and the game runs smoothly with no noticable glitches anymore. I downloaded this off of steam which is nice because it auto patches the game for you after it downloads and I had no problems getting it to run. In summary this is perhaps the greatest role playing game I have ever played, and if you are at all a fan of open ended role playing this one can't come reccomended enough. All the bugs are fixed, and whats left behind is an overlooked masterpiece of utter brilliance. 9.5/10

Stupid weather attacking my manhood! Back foul beast! *cough* oh I forgot this thing was on er now that we're all here... I was at EB the other day because some jackass on the forums said that Force Unleashed was out so like a fat kid hearing about a candy store sale I drop my delicious tuna sandwhich (Tuna FTW!) mid bite to run down and buy a copy. Only to find ive been had! "Cursed internet!" I screamed. "First you fooled me into that sexual experiment with a goat and a pirate and now THIS?" "YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME!!" So I swore out loud, got some dirty looks from a soccer mom and her little kid and headed out the door. I seen the kid holding a copy of Too Human and laughed to myself "kid if I have no idea whats going on in that ****ing game you have no hope hahaha sucka!" Anyways on my way out I seen a poster: trade in your old xbox 360 and 3 games and get a new 60gig xbox 360 and Gears of War Immediatley one of the two devils on my shoulder appeared. (The angel has long since commited suicide after given up hope on me) and said: Devil: Hey dont be a girly man! you remember that 360 with those 3 red lights sitting on your closet shelf, do it!!! ****ing do it! Me: But what if they check to see if the system works when I bring it in, then ill have to come up with some lame excuse like "ooooh that just happened wut u do ta mah siztem?!" Devil: But think of how hilarious it will be to pull one over on this stupid store. I mean for *cough* goodness sakes you can buy Mercs 2 for $59.99 new or $54.99 used. Thats not a savings its a godamn kick in the junk! These idiots deserve a fleecin! Devil: And for godsakes put on some pants, everyone is laughing at us! Me: I cant help it if its cold outside! T_T So now I sit in a state of wonder? Could I get away with this? Do I have the stones to pull this off? I need engouragment of dissuadment! The outcome of this situation depends entirley on the opininons of you the reader, people on the internet I sorta know but not really!

Yeah thats right. Just a few days ago I was laughing at one of my friends here and his sleep problems, being awake all hours of the night when he had to get up early and do stuff. Well ladies and gentleman, that has come back full circle to kick me in the ass harder and faster than my manly man pecs get women to take their clothes off. Yep its 3AM right now, im sitting here with only 3 hours sleep in me from last night and in just 3 hours I gotta be going to a brand new job I got hired for yesterday. The good news is despite my growing insanity and insomina that I dont need that $1000 anymore, im going to be raking in the cash so im very excited. Its a lot more money and its a computer related job running books, shipping and recieving which is more of my profession anyways. But im nervous now. I mean im gonna be walking into that place a freakin zombie trying to learn their system and all that fun "first day at a new job" wish me luck. Fellow gamespotians have you ever faced a similar situation, pulling all nighters due to insomnia and then having to work the next day? Red bull, coffee and cigarettes have pretty much replaced my normal bloodstream at this point. In other news im also settled into a new apartment with my fellow gaming nerd brother and our bachelor pad is pimping so far ill have to get some pics up soon so you guys can see the place and our mad awesome gaming setup. The apartment is more expensive than where I was living before but its in the center of the city as opposed to the outskirts and its a lot better overall. Oh and one more thing, I know you are somehow behind my insomnia Inop. I dont know what you did but im gonna spam your mailbox with dirty pics until it stops :evil: Everyone wish me luck, im pulling the all nighter! *goes to make a cofee*

So I can buy all the great PC games ive missed out on over the last 5 or 6 years. Seriously. Having recently moved in with my brother and his uber awesome gaming PC its time to go back full throttle into a modding hermit who shuns the daylight and screams obscenitys at a monitor about circle strafe, alt fire and epic l00tz. So at the moment here are some must have games I want to pickup but im looking for other suggestions too as I havent followed PC gaming in quite a while and I know I missed something great. I love RPGS, FPS's, Adventure games and Strategy games (preferably turn based but im open) in about that order! Im looking at picking up Neverwinter Nights 2, its expansion, Crysis and maybe rebuying The Orange Box for the PC. What else should I get?

all around me are familar faces, worn out places, worn out faces, bright and early for the daily races....going nowhere, going nowhere their tears are filling up their glasses, no expression.....no expression, hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow, no tommorow...no tommorow And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad the dreams in which im dying are the best ive ever had. I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take when 360s run in three red circles its a very, very mad....mad world You've brought this upon yourself. See you in hell. *considers leaving console gaming*

ITS BACK BABY!!!! *poses* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *drinks*

Taken from a recent GGD post I thought id share with you something I find rather amusing, And since no one commented on my epic Titans Quest impressions blog (which took quite some time for me to write T_T) I decided to share something with all of you. I can say with the upmost confidence that no one on this site, and I mean no one can match my epic backlog of ub3rnez. With great pride I present to you the list of games in my collection still sitting unplayed! Nintendo DS Front Mission Professor Layton And The Curious Village Hotel Dusk: Room 215 Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Rings Of Fates Apollo Justic: Ace Attorney Age Of Empires: The Age Of Kings Nintendo Gamecube Viewtiful Joe 2 Killer 7 Metroid Prime Prince Of Persia: The Two Thrones PC Starcraft Starcraft: Brood War Sam And Max: Season One Age Of Mythology Age Of Mythology: The Titans Evidence: The Last Ritual Unreal Tournament 3 Psychotoxic Mafia Company Of Heros Dragons Lair 3 World Of Warcraft Stalker: Shadow Of Chernobyl Civilization IV Dragonshard Playstation 2 Onimusha: Warlords Bully Summoner Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories Half Life Silent Hill 3 Odin Sphere Viewtiful Joe Final Fantasy XII Manhunt Manhunt 2 Nintendo Wii Trauma Center: Second Opinion Shining In The Darkness Super Paper Mario Paper Mario Zack And Wiki: Quest For Barbaros' Treasure Bloody Wolf Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn Gradius Shining Force Ninja Spirit R Type Light Crusader Metroid Prime 3: Corruption Shinobi III: Return Of The Master Ninja The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess Xbox 360 Dreamfall: The Longest Journey Tomb Raider Anniversary Marathon Durandal Bully: Schloarship Edition Ecco The Dolphin CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Beautiful Katamari The Simpsons Game Far Cry Instincts Predator Timeshift Burnout Revenge Call Of Duty 3 Lost Odyssey Wik: Fable Of Souls Tomb Raider Legend Tom Clancys Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter Condemed: Criminal Origins Perfect Dark Zero Project Gotham Racing 3 Prey Outpost Kaloki X Hitman Blood Money Two Worlds Rockstar Games Present Table Tennis Everytime I beat a couple of games I buy like 4 or 5 more this has been going on for years I CANT STOP. What is wrong with me? T_T