yesterday was a horrid day. After only sleeping a few hours for about a week and a half I hit my limit yesterday. I couldn't take it anymore. I was half coherrent and whenever I had something coherrent to say I lost my train of thought mid setence. I was at the level of mentally handicapped. But I did get soem good studying done. I had heavy bags under my eyes and I can;t figure out why I can't sleep anymore. I had to take benedryl just to sleep last night thats how bad it is. I'm crashing physically and I got finals coming up. I'm getting worried.

In other news the insomina has helped me finish Enders game in record time for me. About 5 days I was able to finish the book. 320 pages of pure epicness. I was like :O I orderd the next book of the Ender series. I'm pretty excited. I also got Confessions of an Econmic Hitman. and a cd by insomnium I just foudn them and I really like them. An impulse buy maybe. but I need new music.

Dreams are the worst part about sleeping they bring the best and worst out of me. But they generally leave me exhausted for some reason. I feel more tired when I wake up after a night of heavy dreaming then when I go to bed. I've pin pointed that I dream because of stress. My dreams make for some weird times that I generally try to spend at least 2-3 hours trying to piece it together to try and have it make some sort of sense. It truely sucks. I hope i can have peaceful sleep tonight.

Wow what a book. I started it Monday and I'm already up to page 100 . I'm notmuch a reader, that last books I enjoyed were all my Junior year of high school and that was Timeline and A Beautiful Mind. I'm glad I've started reading I just got to find some new books. My brother gave me enders game about 4 years ago cause he said it was awesome. I got to page 40 and enjoyedi t but stopped due to video games or something. Its a new hobby. I friend gave me a book 3 years ago,

I got up to page 100 and it was a great book with its own world. I will definatly start that up after I finish enders game and at this pace, I'll finish it this week probably. I'm doing about 50 pages a day, and its only 4 o clock. I'll probably read another 50 or so today. That means a trip home oh well.

Well, I've turned myself around 100% from being a pissed hateful person. A lot has happened in a few short days, and I must say I feel a lot better. I'm at a stand still and thats ok. I'm not ready to put myself on the market and I'm not chasing after her. I'm just standing still while I finish school. Odd thing, I was being very hateful towards her in my mind, got to church and it was about hte commandment of Jesus to love one another. I was like :O . It hit me like a ton a bricks. He said. To love others no matter how much pain it brings. It was just like wow. Right message right time. Was it God, I think so. So thats that. Pretty powerful, to me at least.

I spent the last two days in an extreme desperation building up a hate, cause I feel like I'm standing still in life and there is nothing worse to me than standing still. I need to move forward, I'm a very goal oriented person, and it just bothers when I'm not sure where to go with things. So I spent the last two days building a hate for her, and I just felt empty and desolate. It wasn't me and I knew it but I didn't know what else to do. I broke down last night(I didn't cry) It was more of a spiritual thing during this whole hate manner it was also a distancing from my religion. Its a mess, so once again I'm at my stand still. Circles again. I'll get school done for the semster then move somewhere. I think thats the best.

Without a doubt it is Riviera: The promised land.

I love this cd so much. I just came back to it and everytime I listen to it I'm blown away truely a master piece for a game on the gba.

I haven't been working out lately, I've been really all over the place really. Pissed, sad, indifferent, so are the feelings that come with a paper. My history paper has changed topics about six times over the course of my writing. That is ok, I have finally found one. The death of local markets in the 1920's due to mass production. There its awesome. I've found a ton of articles on it. I'm extremely happy with my paper. so far two more pages to get and I can say f yeah give it a nice little proofand, send that f'er off to my brothers Fiance' and then to another friend for the best paper ever. Not really.

So as it turns out I had 3 missions left... I beat the game, and man what a trip. Getting back into my old AC it just felt natural. I made some modifications to it. Gave it some more agile boosters and a better targeting chip. It felt great. I beat the game last night I couldn't put the game down, well it only took an hour to beat but thats besides the point. The point is that the game is awesome and I'm excited to build some new AC to win the simulation battles.

The sim battles are putting you up in a one v one arena against another pre made AC , since you both are on equal footing it all goes down to play style and overall skill. I tend to use a Areial sniper. I keep a distance of 400-600 to avoid small arms fire and to able to dodge extremely heavy arms, but I'm low armor so a few good hits f's me up.

I'm beating the game on hard now, because there are achievements and well I want to play the game more. So I'll post up picks of my main AC it looks pretty cool and has a nice green paint job. It is fun fun times.

Vivia Pinata

Guitar hero III

call of duty 4(complete 1000 achievement points)

Mass effect (anotehr play through)

Eternal Sonata (another playthrough) amazing soundtrack btw

Armored core 4 About to be started

Project slypheed

halo 3(working on it)

lost planet (another play through)

cod2(completed 1000/1000)

and assassin creed(completed)

Making steady progress with my games. But still staying school focused so thats really cool. I've been meaning to jazz up my banner. I'll get around to it someday. But I just got soo much work. Two tests this week. Two papers due at the end of the month. A lab exam coming up. and a lab report due. Soo much I'm really swamped, but I had to beat assassin's cread. The games story was just too awesome. Its soo good.

In other news I messaged her on facebook, she wrote back. I'm not getting my hopes up but I'm glad at the very least a friendship can start up again. I'm excited for that.

I'll be starting up armored core 4, er well I got half way through it and stopped. So I'll finish off this next half. It shouldn't take too long. I'm doing halo 3 co op with my brother, we do a mission every so often. Its good times indeed.

I've had this pic for a long time. It had a white background and i've always loved it. One of my favorite pictures. I thought the relationship between the two just fascinating. Claude and Rena, I loved star ocean the second story. So I got a creative wave tonight and made it using all my photoshop cunning. I know its not much but it took like 40 minutes to get it right. I'm very proud of myself. Hope everyone likes it.