Wow what a movie. The first of the Evangelion rebuilds has been F'ing amazing so far. I'm an hour into it and its been nothing short of the best experience of this semester. yeha a lame semster eh? Its true. They really helped bring Shinji's struggle into light a lot earlier.

Me and my friend have taken it upon our selves to beat http://www.gamespot.com/xbox360/action/ikaruga/review.html?sid=6189075&om_act=convert&om_clk=multimodule&tag=multimodule;picks;title;3

Ikaruga..The hardest game I have played. Yet as hard as it is, its soo addicting. We spent an hour getting the second level down. We don't have it perfect yet we gotta learn the boss but it will be awesome when we master it. We are gonna work on the second level some more and move on to the third. It'll be quite a learning experience. always fun.

I've caught up with the normal pace of life. Its truely a nice time. Of course I'm avoiding issues and I know it. But thats ok. I figure it can't be drama all the time. I'll give myself a few weeks to unwind, do school work. then I'll tackle issues well I probably won't. Somethings are better left untouched. Haha, we'll see how things play it.

Well, with all the crap in my life sorted out I'm back to the youthful optimism that I have. It never lets me down... Anywho I'm more dedicated to the school work, I'm not worrying about girl problems cause I'm just gonna focus on school work for the rest of the semester. Ladies can come later. Am I rite? Yeah I'm right. I've grown a lot in faith, so it seems when it all comes crashing down I still rock. It just takes some time for me to start rocking again. I'm pretty happy with everything. So I'm eager for the future.

My ex's mom works in the same hospital as my mom. My mom is a nurse her mom is a pharmicist. So like usual they ran into each other. My mom said it was an awkward time but as they ended the convo her mom said. She will probably try to get back with him in the summer.

WTF

I went when I was thirsty, its been soo hot here. I got

2 grape juice

2 apple juice

5 weird water thingies 1 liter each

a case a of water

and some sparkling cider..

mm hydration

I'm feeling good right now. I picked up Marvel Ultimate alliance and me and my roomies have been playing it. Its been fun and its gotten my mind off of things. I still miss her but a friend has been helping me out with all my drama and my sorrow. The advice has stopped the hate from forming. It was all I knew what to do. But its stopped and I can continue my course. w00t w00t.

Yesterday was the definition of a **** day. I didn't get into a nursing school, I can't talk to my best friend, and I'm failing micro (well the majority of the class is. I have a D ) anyways it was such a rough day. Given a few other things I don't really want to talk about it threw me down and kicked me in the nuts repeatedly. It lead me to a personal reflection and talking with some friends I got some good advice. I'm a good path I think, stuff is still going on but I'm feeling better and more confident in myself. I have been growing my beard out for about two weeks now. I look horrible but it feels great. I'm gonna cut it, make my self look better. any who, I'm doing better but I gotta learn that I can do things. and do the best I can do.

Much love for all who read. :)

I've figured out why I am why I am. I depend too much on others and can't stand my own two feet. I'm a weak individual, I've developed survival tactics that rely on others to pull me through. Instead of having faith in my self I look to others to get me through. I'm gonna try to rid myself of this. I don't need others. I'm not gonna to take this to an extreme , I'm just in a massive personal reflection state so I'm looking at my self. Finding out what is wrong. Why I am why I am. Its a good process but its not answering much for me, thats ok. We shall see how it goes.

Its pretty awesome I think. I'm soo happy. I like this cd even though its not the same as teh old stuff Rock on!

I've deceided to get my cna over the summer. Its a certified nursing assistant. Since I didn't get into nursing programs I'm gonna start working in the field at the very least. I'll work durin the summer and hopefully during school. I'm really excited as it will be another step towards my goal.

I was feeling on top of the world. Confidence, self esteem, the glory of the world stood before. I was no longer tied to the bonds of the past that held me down. I looked at the stars with determination, I dreamt I'd reach the moon. I took my two steps forward into the unknown and got scared. I've regressed into the similiar pattern. I still think of her now more than I have before. Why, I ask myself this regularly. I know in my mind its over. I must the battle to convince myself its over, nothing will ever come of it. We won't talk again. Just move on and it will all be ok.But the half of me says no. This is merely a growing period of us. Maybe later on down the road.

Both sides provide convincing arguements and that makes for a rather harsh decision. Maybe this is just the next phase of Gods plan or whatever he is doing. I do see an order to the chaos in my life and for that I 'm grateful. I keep my eyes on the moon. One day I shall reach it. I'm drifting in a mess that I can't figure out if I could just pick a side my life would be so much better and when I say pick I side I mean just give her up and never think about it again. But I'm in the middle. Not that its bad, I'll adjust. I'll take my two steps forward and look in the mist, and look back at what was. I'll never know what lies ahead. *cheers* here is to a new beginning.