Okay, so it's not a real conspiracy, but it has "conspiracy" in the name.

I find myself more and more stressed out at Christmas time as I get older. I see all these commercials peddling the newest piece of **** nobody will care about in a month and hear all this whining about grocery stores saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" and see all these screaming little brats who can't fathom not getting everything they want that I just wanna scream. Christmas has turned into nothing but Valentine's Day 2.0 in that it's nothing more than a corporate sham to make more money.

Is it September yet? Yippee! Christmas stuff for sale in stores!

All people seem to care about anymore during Christmas is whether or not Mommy got them an HDTV or a new iPod. This ultra-materialistic bullcrap really gets to me.

How long can you go without laughing? I can't make it past the first sentence.:lol:

I just got back from seeing the IMAX version of Avatar, and my mind was BLOWN.

I am thoroughly convinced that James Cameron cannot make a bad movie. He's like Pixar for adults. I'm not a fan of Terminator and I flat-out dislike Aliens, but both are great movies. Titanic is fantastic. And now there's Avatar.

I mean, wow. Yes, the movie is visually gorgeous: some of the scenes in the jungle of Pandora are absolutely beautiful, with their plants and animals. The Na'avi look awesome and live within their own culture, which is similar to the native American indians' in some respects.

The movie is also full of emtotional roller coaster rides, particularly near the end. The most emotional part, however, is that point in the movie where it suddenly hits you and you're like "Wow, this isn't actually real."

The movie is cliche; there simply can be no denying it. It's very reminiscent of Disney's Pocahontas. Of course, everything is cliche to some extent, so this isn't a complaint of mine. Cliche, when done right, can be just as spectacular (or moreso, depending on the competition) than an original idea (if such a thing exists anymore).

Forget every negative thing you've read or heard about Avatar; they're wrong. The only thing I'd call "negative" about this movie is that it moves too fast in the beginning. That's it. Go see this movie and love it.

And though I hate to admit it, the trailer for Percy Jackson and the Olympians looks awesome.

As for the IMAX, this is my first IMAX experience and it's probably going to be my last; yes, it was really nice, but I just can't see this 3D crap without getting a splitting headache afterwards. Avatar was only playing in 3D here, so I figure, might as well go for IMAX.

The next Titanic? Not really. More like the next Wizard of Oz.

Have you not heard of that madman who lit a lantern in the bright morning hours, ran to the mushroom kingdom, and cried incessantly, "I seek Mario! I seek Mario!" As many of those who do not believe in Mario were standing around then, he provoked much laughter. "Why, did he get lost?" said one. "Is his princess in another castle?" said another. "Is he hiding? Is he afraid of us? Has he gone on a voyage?" Thus they yelled and laughed. Then the madman jumped into their midst and pierced them with his glances.

"Whither is Mario," he cried, "I shall tell you. We have killed him--you and I. All of us are his murderers. But how have we done this? How were we able to drink up the Mushroom sea? Who gave us the Fludd to wash away the entire horizon? What did we do when we unchained this Earth from its Sun?Whither is it moving now? Away from all suns? Are we not plunging continually, as he did? Backward, sideward, forward, in all directions? Do we not feel the breath of empty space? Has it not become colder? Must not fire flowers be ate in the morning? Do we not hear anything yet the noise of the gravediggers who are burying Mario? Do we not smell anything yet of Mario's decomposition? Mario does decompose. Mario is dead. Mario remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we, the koopas of all koopas, comfort ourselves? What was holiest and most powerful of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives. What festivals of atonement, what sacred stars shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we not ourselves become Mario just to seem worthy of it?"

At last he cast out a fireball from his hand, and it fizzled and went out. "I come too early," he said then; "my time has not come yet. This tremendous event is still on its way, still wandering--it has not yet reached the ears of Toads. Lightning and thunder require time, the light of stars require time, deeds require time even after they have been done even before they can be seen or heard. This deed is still more distant from them than the most distant stars--and yet they have done it themselves."

It has been said that on that same day the madman entered diverse pipes and sang his mourning. Led and called out to the account, he is said to have replied each time, "What are these pipes now if they are not the tombs and sepulchers of Mario?"

http://fanfictionblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/showdown__hp_vs__twilight_by_empressfunk.jpg

There's some swearing.

The ending is especially funny.

Rofflcakes.

I remember when I would watch The Nanny when I was ten and just laugh my ass off despite not understanding half of it. Now that 23, I still laugh my ass off and understand all of it. The Nanny was the perfect sitcom: it developed over time instead of piling a bunch of useless crap in every episode (lookin' at you, Seinfeld!), the characters grew and changed, the jokes were hilarious (and most of them HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX, a concept most sitcoms can't even fathom these days), and the interactions between Niles the Butler and C.C. Babcock were challenged only by the quips of Jeffrey from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (A close runner-up for best sitcom ever).

Even the Jew jokes are funny.

I had a panic attack at school that I mistook for a heart attack (a common mistake, apparently), and was rushed by ambulance to the hospital where I waited for six hours for someone to tell me that there's nothing physically wrong with me, here's some Ativan and that'll be $5,000.

Isn't life just grand?

Remember a few months ago when I said I'd pass my math class with an A this semester or I'd paint a square root sign on my balls? Here are the grades to my tests this semester (there's one more test plus the final, then the semester is over):

97
100
97
93
100
100
85
96
102
100

Hard to believe I previously failed this course.

List of stuff I'm thankful for goes here. Enjoy the turkey.