My professor is arranging a trip to Italy. The stops are in Venice, Florence, San Gimignano and Rome (specifically the Vatican Museum and St. Peter's Basilica). I would absolutely love to do that.

It's four thousand dollars.

(RAH)² + (AH)³ + RO(MA+MAMA) + (GA)² + OH(LA)²

Watch yo bad romance

2 + 2 = 4.

There is no evidence for this statement. This statement cannot be proven using external sources; you cannot analyze a fingerprint or check with scientific journals or confirm with witnesses or repeat in a laboratory any possible experiment that would prove this statement to be true. Its truth is self-evident; this defies the very concepts of science and evidence.

There is no evidence that the number 2 represents anything of physical value. The number 2 is a symbol, ink on paper, not a physical manifestation of any object, person or element. You cannot measure the number 2. The word "two" is meaningless. If I hold up my thumb and index finger, I can say that I'm holding up seven fingers and it would be just as valid as saying that I hold two because language is a set of symbols with no inherent, quantifiable meaning.

If faith is belief without evidence, you use faith every time you speak, write, or do mathematics. Because evidence cannot apply to any of them, because they are all either self-proving or meaning-ascribed symbols with no quantifiable justification, your only possible way to use these things is by your baseless, unfounded belief in their validity.

Summer's upon us, and already I just want it to end.

It is hot. Very hot. Too hot to do anything. The air conditioner doesn't work either. So I'm sitting here in front of a fan that does nothing but blow hot air at me.

In addition to being way too hot, it's also the stormy season. It literally rains every single day, in drenching thunderstorms that serve only to make it hotter by making the atmosphere humid. It's thundering right now. I'll be driving in the middle of thunderstorms soon, and I've talked before about how paranoid I am in that kind of weather.

I just want late Fall to stay forever. That's the best time of the year. The bugs are gone, the temperature is crisp and cool (but not cold at all), the wind is always blowing, the foliage is turning but the trees don't look dead yet, the sky is clear and the sun is bright but not scalding. Early Spring is nice too, but the bugs are coming back and the allergies are taking over at this time. Summer is the worst time of the year, with Winter coming in a close second simply because it's too freaking cold.

Drumroll, please.

The most horrific, pants-pissing, psyche-crushing, nightmare inducing, mommy-can-I-sleep-with-you-tonight-I-had-the-dream-again children's movie ever made is. . .

[spoiler] [/spoiler]

Yup. This movie sets a new standard of horror in animation. Of the three movies on the list, this is the only one that STILL ACTUALLY FRIGHTENS ME. I'm not ashamed to admit it, because I'm fully justified in my fear.

I'll start off by saying that the entire atmosphere of this movie--beginning to end, even the "happy" parts--is extremely dark. When they're happy, you can't help but feel that very soon this happiness will be dashed into utter pieces. And it usually does.

The movie begins--begins, mind you--with the animal equivalent of two convicted felons breaking out of prison. The main character, Charlie, meets up with his crime partner, who is clearly a drug lord. His partner doesn't like this, because he gets less money for some reason, so he has the main character get drunk and RUN OVER.

We don't actually see him get run over. We see the truck edging ever-closer. Then we see the aftermath.

Being a dog, he goes to Heaven. Which is a very weird place. Realizing that he was murdered and a little miffed about it, he dupes the queen of heaven (or some such; exactly what she is is something I never understood) into making him go back to Earth, where the party at. When he's falling from Paradise he hears "You can never come back. . .!"

So he's alive again, and he's planning revenge. He uses a little girl who can talk to animals to rig the horse races and opens up a little system to get back at his murderer.

Every second of the movie is creepy, but there are two scenes that stand out. The first (and worst) is in the middle of the movie. After a cheery song about sharing with a bunch of fatherless puppies held up by their weak mother who may or may not have been a doggy prostitute, he goes to sleep. . . . .and has a nightmare that makes The Brave Little Toaster's look like a fun day at the circus. I can't find a clip of this (perhaps the Internet won't take it for being too disturbing), so I'll describe it.

HE ****ING GOES TO HELL.

He plummets down into the Earth onto a bone ship slowly sinking into lava. Out of the lava appears a bunch of little demon things and a huge demon dog that tips the ship and sinks it faster. The main character, who is being prodded by the demon creatures while holding on for dear life, is slowly sinking into lava, the mouth of the giant demon and eternal suffering and damnation. He's the only thing that hasn't sunk when he wakes up.

THAT **** IS ****ING MESSED UP.

I had nightmares about this scene for YEARS. There is nothing--NOTHING--more frightening than this in animation, mature or juvenile.

SURPRISE: Don Bluth made this movie.

It don't end there, though. A few misadventures and character developing later, the girl is kidnapped, threatened, and almost caught on fire. To save her life, the main character drowns.

Now. Nobody has forgotten at this point that he's not allowed back into Heaven. For about ten minutes of film, that leaves one place. He's never shown in Hell. . .but there's nowhere else.

His spirit checks on the girl (whom he assures willl not have to worry about his immortal soul) before the second creepy-ass scene occurs: a huge red dragon (presumably Satan) appears, seeming to get ready to attack the world, and just whispers "Charlie"as though to take him back to Hell.

Then the dragon breaks up in the presence of heavenly light or something and Charlie goes to Heaven. Cue credits.

:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|

THIS MOVIE IS SCARY

Take the cutest little furry animals you've ever seen in animation. You know, the walking, talking, anthropomorphic type. Like in Once Upon a Forest.

Imagine these little furry creatures being crushed, exploded, ripped apart, struck by lightning, set on fire and committing suicide.

Now change those furry creatures into household appliances. Congratulations: you just made The Brave Little Toaster.

The Brave Little Toaster is based on a book written by a man who later killed himself. It begins happily enough: the Toaster and his appliance friends are cleaning the house to Tutti Fruity. Their fun is interrupted when the cynical air conditioner wakes up and tells them they all suck, then he's reminded he's stuck in a wall and kills himself. By exploding.

The appliances, including the Toaster, the Blanket, the Vacuum, the Lamp and the Radio, leave their home for the big wide open world.

A few misadventures here and there that left the vacuum temporarily insane and the blanket nearly eaten and the lamp struck by lightning later, the most frightening scene in the entire movie comes up. This scene actually caused a good deal of controversy when the film was still fresh.

I am fully convinced that this scene is responsible for my fear of clowns. Why the living hell was it put in there? When the Satan-clown gets up close and whispers, "Run,"I still get freaked out. I distinctly remember having nightmares about that one scene when I was little.

Anyway, while that is the creepiest scene in the movie (and one of the creepiest in history), the **** doesn't stop there. The appliances get caught by some fat parts salesman who is shown in shadows to rip apart with pliers the antennae of certain radios. Remember: in this movie, appliances are ALIVE, and while it's implied (not explicitly stated, but still implied) that they can't actually feel pain, they still don't like having their parts ripped off of them and sold.

They escape, go through some nonsense about how obsolete and useless they've become, then get dumped into a junkyard full cars that get flattened while they reminisce about the days when they were liked. Imagine the "When She Loved Me" song from toy Story 2, only it ends with Jesse in a trash compactor.

The movie has a happy ending, but only after surviving some of the most horrific events in any children's movie. Like I said, if this involved furry creatures then it never would have been released to the public, ever.

It's a great movie, don't get me wrong. It was made by the same guys at Pixar, and it shows. It's just scary as all hell.

But it STILL is NOTHING compared to the single most horrific children's film ever made in the history of filming.

I decided to do a little review of the top three movies that made me piss my pants when I was little. They still creep me out a little today. Note that all three will contain spoilers for their respective movies.

At number 3 on the list is The Secret of NIMH.

(How can you even look at the cover and think it won't be scary?)

Ah, Don Bluth. You took children seriously, and so you produced a good few high quality films and spawned an entire generation of traumatized basket cases.

The Secret of NIMH is a creepy-ass movie. It is completely morbid the entire time: the widow of a hero mouse goes off to find medicine for her fatally sick son. The only ones with this medicine are genius rats who were experimented on in a laboratory called NIMH. Along the way, the mother mouse (Mrs. Frisby) nearly gets stabbed, crushed, eaten, and used for evil experiments. FOR SCIENCE!

The creepiest parts in this movie will obviously involve the rat and owl with the ****ING GLOWING EYES. Mrs. Frisby has to meet the owl for some reason and she knows very well that he will probably want to kill her, thus setting up a hugely suspenseful moment that climaxes with the arrival of the creepy owl, who is quite menacing. Thankfully, he turns out to be cool and doesn't eat the mother mouse.

Then yadda yadda yadda, we meet the rat. who is strangely (but cooly) called Nicodemus. He is ridiculously creepy because he apparently knows everything and spies on Mrs. Brisby and her children with his crystal ball (:|). Luckily, he also turns out to be cool. Until he's crushed by a cement block.

Oh yeah. Apparently some rat wants to kill him. So he drops what humans would consider a goddamn army tank onto his back before being stabbed to death himself.

Lovely.

This isn't the creepiest children's movie (duurrr, ya think) I've ever seen, but it sure scared me when I was little.

What. The hell.

She--!

With her--!

And he--!

AAAAAUAAUUUUUUUUAAAAAAUGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG

I'm gonna have nightmares. :cry:

Misogyny

Terrorism

Corrupt government

Burned toast

Windows 95

Freezer burn

Twilight

Cancer

Global warming

Attention Deficit Disorder

Glitchspot

Mods

Hair in my soup

That mole you need to have checked at the doctor's office

Male pattern baldness

Salmonella

The WBC

The WB

Tom Cruise

The cancellation of The 4400.

Bad LOST episodes

Tooth decay

Gout

The common cold

Your little snowflake's F in English

RuPaul

The Legend of the Seeker

Deity_Slapper

Twitter

Ulysses

The Haiti earthquake

High gas prices

AIDs

Kanye West

The Eye of Argon

Walls of text