I wanted to post this last night, but Photobucket wasn't working. I did build the comic last night. Sorry for the size of the comic. Photobucket automatically resizes it. I forgot about that. It makes it a littl hard to read. It shouldn't be too tough, though, I don't think. There are also 2 new reviews up. Devil May Cry 4 and Metal Gear: Ghost Babel. Check them out while you are there. Also, join the forum and drop your thoughts in the weekly comic thread. We do have one more comic scripted, and I e-mailed some ideas for numbers 40 and 41 to Eric. Enjoy it

http://fpte.topcities.com/frames.htm

*WARNING! THIS BLOG CONTAINS MINOR SPOILERS FOR METAL GEAR: GHOST BABEL*





Violence in video games has been a hot topic of discussion in politics and the media ever since Exidy released Death Race in 1976, an arcade game about running over pedestrians based on the movie Deaht Race 2000. It has died off a little and come back at multiple in the 32 years since then, but it has never gone away. With the release of Mortal Kombat came the earliest incarnation of what became the ESRB and their rating system used for video games today. The topic won't go away until something like, God forbid, there are no more video games. I hope politics and the media go away before video games do! Haha!



Anyway, it is easy to understand why the rating system is in place. Ever since about 1998 with the release of Metal Gear Solid, things such as sexual themes, smoking, cursing and violence have found an increasingly large home inside the world of video games. These things do help make a game more adult or mature. It makes them aimed at a more adult audience, but I've been thinking lately. Are they the only things that constitute a mature game? Are they the only things that can gear a video game toward an older audience? Allow me to explain.



Recently I picked up Metal Gear: Ghost Babel, a non cannon Me tal Gear game released for the Gameboy Color. It was released outside of Japan under the name of Metal Gear Solid. I have no idea why. Anyway, anyone that knows the Metal Gear series knows that they are mature games. They more than earn their mature rating. Sexual themes? Check. Violence? check. Smoking? Check. Cursing? Check. All of that stuff is there to continually earn the games an M rating. I pulled the cartridge out of my Gameboy Advanced SP last night and looked at it. The rating on the game is E. Yes. It is a Metal Gear game rated E for everyone. Why is this? Well, at face value, the reason is obvious to those that have played it. The smoking and cursing has been removed, and the violence lacks the intensity of the console games. It may be due to it being on an 8 bit handheld system, but it does lack the more realistic violence that the other games feature.



When you look deeper into the game, however, you will take note that the game is, just by nature of being a Metal Gear game, geared toward a more mature audience. It features a lot of your typical Metal Gear themes, such as the ever present threat that nuclear weapons present, and the horrors of war. the game does not go to the in depth detail of it's console counterparts (How can it? It is a GBC game after all. You are limited in what you can do) but the game does have some fairly descriptive representation of these horrors. One character in particular describes how the human body burns when set aflame, while another describes seeing her friends and family hacked limb from limb in a field. This type of thing is features in pretty much all of the Metal Gear games. Various characters have traumatic experiences that resulted in what they became today. A prime example of this would be when Drebin calls you to tell you what happened to each member of the Beauty and the Beast squad to make them what they are. While Ghost Babel isn't as descriptive as that was, it is very much still present.



With this being said, I ask again, why is this game rated E? Should it be rated E just because it lacks the violence and language of the console games, or does it still push forward more mature ideas that you would not want your kids thinking about? As far as I am concerned, the horrors of war and the threat of nukes are something that people shouldn't really be presented with until they are actually mature enough to understand it. Should this game not at least earn a rating of T? It makes me wonder just what the ESRB was thinking when they rat ed this game. How did something like this slip through their fingers? How did they miss these things in the game that, quite clearly, gear this game for a more mature audience? Does this mean that there is a massive flaw in the rating system? Should they reconsider how games are rated and take a long, hard look at the rating system as it exists today and, quit possibly, rework it from the ground up? What does it take to make a game mature? You decide.

I am just copying nad pasting this piece by piece from something I wrote in a chat box on another forum:

I swear I have the worst luck in the freaking world and I cannot get anything to go right for me right now. It pisses me off. Every time I think I have finally dopne something that will get me out of this **** I have been in for hte past several months, it falls through. It's a never ending cycle and I have been trying tp keep my spirits up and stay hopeful but it's taking it's toll on me. Big time. My patience with my situation has worn thin and I am frsturated and stressed out to the point where I do not sleep much at night. My muscles are constnatly tense. I need a break from everything and I know damn well that I will not get one any time soon. Stress is causing me to wake up daily with pounding headaches and I feel almost powerless to change anything at this point because every attempt I make falls through my fingers like sand. Ugh. I hate this life. I hate the way things are right now. I can't keep doing this. I I have to keep pushing myself, but I fear my emotional and mental strength are growing weak. Almost as if I have virutally nothing left in my tank, you know what I mean? My constant attempts to change my status always end in failure, and it kind of makes me wonder if I even can change what I know needs changing? But I know if nothing changes, it is only going to get worse - particularly when I become homeless in 40 days. I'M ONLY HUMAN DAMN IT! Just how much punishment can I take before I throw it back in the face of someone who is completely innocent. Built up rage. That is what it is more than anything. I feel like.....like I am going nowhere and, despite my attempts to fix this, I am going to continue to go nowhere until it costs me everything, and that pisses me off more than you know. Almost as if I have virutally nothing left in my tank, you know what I mean? My constant attempts to change my status always end in failure, and it kind of makes me wonder if I even can change what I know needs changing? But I know if nothing changes, it is only going to get worse - particularly when I become homeless in 40 days. I'M ONLY HUMAN DAMN IT! Just how much punishment can I take before I throw it back in the face of someone who is completely innocent. Built up rage. That is what it is more than anything. I feel like.....like I am going nowhere and, despite my attempts to fix this, I am going to continue to go nowhere until it costs me everything, and that pisses me off more than you know. I FREAKING HATE MY LIFE THE WAY IT IS RIGHT NOW DAMN IT! I NEED CHANGE! I NEED IT BEFORE I TAKE MY RAGE OUT ON SOMEONE UNDESERVING! I NEED CHANGE DAMN IT AND I NEED IT NOW! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO BE ABLE TO EARN MONEY AGAIN! JESUS! THAT ALONE WOULD LIFT THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD OFF OF MY DAMN SHOULDERS! ****! I AM SO SICK OF THIS!

It's not long, detailed and structured in paragraphs like my typical blog posts are and I don't freaking care. I am just pissed off, stressed out and depressed. Life can go screw itself.

*EDITED BY A MOD*

I really hate to pay this toll
Should be strong, young and bold
But the only thing I feel is pain

Helloween - A Tale That Wasn't Right

I am just going to come out and say this. I am depressed. I am pissed off. I am stressed out. I am irritated. I am angry and I am frustrated. It feels as if I am on an endless streak of bad luck. It seems like things just keep getting worse for me, and, no matter how hard I try to fix things, nothing I ever do works. Believe me when I say I am trying. I am not only trying. I am desperate. I will get to that in a bit, I could say it sucks, but that is a vast understatement. The only reason I sleep at night right now is because I take sleeping pills to make me go to sleep. I am that stressed. If I fail to take one of them at night., I have alot of trouble getting any sleep at all and I am tired all day the next day. It's like I am being tested to see just how much I can take before I release all my frustrations and anger by punching a random person in the face. Hell. I can just feel how tense my muscles are and it causes headaches ALOT. Anyway, on with the reasons.

The biggest reason, as I have mentioned before, is my job hunt. I am trying to find a job. I really am. I cut 5 inches off of my hair. 5 FREAKING INCHES! I sacreficed that much of my hair to get a job. I look at myself in the mirror now. I see how much shorter my hair is (it reaches just a bit below my shoulders now) and it pisses me off. It angers me that we have to conform with societies wishes to accomplish anything, and that's what I see when I look in the mirror. I also shaved off my beard and mustache in hopes that that would help me get a job. I am keeping myself clean shaven. I am going out to large parking lots with alot of businesses and walking from one to the next for several hours, filling out applications in each. I filled out atleast 30 applications last week. How many of those places called me back? Exactly 0. What gives? Why can't I find a job? For God sake, I do everything I have always done. I revisit places that are hiring. I speak with managers. I dress nice. I CUT MY HAIR AND SHAVED! WHAT DO YOU WANT! WHAT MUST I DO TO GET A JOB! Jesus I hate how society works. "Oh. Your hair is long. We don't hire people with long hair." SINCE WHEN HAS THE LENGTH OF ONES HAIR EFFECTED HIS PHYSICAL ABILITIES, and don't give me some BS about Samson and his hair....besides that. That was the exact opposite. He was told to not cut his hair. It's beside the point anyway. The length of my hair does not effect my ability to work

I am sure I already mentioned this, but my brother moved out. My friend John and I helped him move. John's girlfriend was getting kicked out and my brother told her to let him know if he needed a place to stay and he would get a place with 2 bedrooms instead of 1. She waited to ask him if she could live with him until after my brother signed the lease for a one bedroom apartment. That was a dumb move. She lives in my brothers kitchen now. They put a curtain up so she could have some privacy. She does not have a job. The only income she has comes from working at the Ren Fair on the weekends, which brings in about 50 bucks a week. That is not a serious job. It won't get the bills payed. My brother pays for everything as a result. She is, basically, living there free. I am not entirely convinced she is looking for a job. Recently she was discussing with my brother about wanting a cat. My brother kind of shrugged it off, thinking that she meant they would talk more seriously about it when she had money to pay for a cat (He is not a big fan of cats). She went out and bought a cat pretty much the next day. This angered my parents. Her name isn't on the lease. Theirs is. If they want to keep a pet, the pet needs to be on the lease, and it costs more per month. She does not have the money to feed and take care of it. She even had the gull to ask my brother to change the litterbox. HEr reason was "hermalphrodide is bad for women." My brother did exactly as I would have. He told her now. The last time I was over there, the litter box had not been changed in a week. That's gross. Furthermore, there was a pile of boxes, many of which were hers, that she refused to eitehr take to the garbage while my brother was at work or help my brother. When she got hime on Sunday from working the fair, she griped at Adam about the kitchen not being clean. We had just eating nad he didn't want to do it right then because we were watching hockey. He wanted to wait until after the game. I don't know what my brother told her, but I would have told her, but I would have told her that if she wants it clean so damn bad, she can clean it herself. Adam, being the sole bill payer right now, is, understandably, a bit anal about doing things like making sure the TV and the lights are turned off whenever you don't need them or are not home, but he has come home atleast once to find her not home and various lights on as well as the TV. Getting back to the cat, shortly after they got the thing, my brothers allergies flared up. They have waivered since then, but never gone away. I think he may be allergic to cats (no one in my family likes cats so we never had them. How would he have known?). All of this is kind of pissing me off. It seems to me that she is simply taking advantage of my brother,. He doesn't want to upset her, largely because her boyfriend is also his best friend. I wish I could tell her to get rid of the cat. I would too. I would be blunt as hell. "My brothers allergic to that thing. Get rid of it." My dad wants to talk to her about it. He would be even less nice than I would. Alas, I have not said anything. It's not my apartment. It's not my place to.

Speaking of John. He is supposed to be my friend too. Ever since my brotehr moved out though, it is a rarity that he actually hangs out with me. This bothers me. It makes me think. Did he just hang out with me because he wanted to hang out with my brother and I happened to be there? Sure he will go over to my brothers place. My brother and his girlfriend are there. I have invited him over here numerous times, but it seems he is always busy, too tired or at work. That seems a little suspicious for my taste. I can't visit my brother all the time because I do not have a job yet, thus I do not have money for the gas that it would require to get over there. Why, though, doesn't he want to hang out with me? It puzzles me and bothers me at the same time. I really need to get out of here. I need to move the hell away for a while. I don't want to leave Texas because it is almost all I have ever known, but I will. I will go live in Ohio with my friend Eric. First I need a job and money to move, though.

Oh. I finished A Game of Thrones by George RR Martin earlier today. I would highly recommend it to anyone that likes fantasy novels. It was absolutely excellent. IT is very well written and filled with great characters, as well as some very surprising plot twists. IT doesn't follow any normal fantasy novel formula, which makes it unpredictable. I also ordered the se3cond and third books in the Song of Ice and Fire series (Game of Thrones is the first) as well as the third and fourth books of the Nightside series by Simon R Green. Those books are interesting, though I do not enjoy them as much as I did his Deathstalker novels. Speaking of which, there are 3 novels that got released as a final trilogy in that series that I need to read. I have heard Owen comes back. That's so awesome. He was a cool character. I have to wonder how, though. IT is set some 1000 years or so after the original 5 novels. I am going to miss some of the otehr characters for sure, but I am sure he has sone new good ones. Anyway, my new books should come on Friday I think. Until then, I will start reading Dialblo The Sin War book 1 Birthright by Richard A Knaak. It looks interesting and I enjoy the Diablo lore, though I have heard mixed things about it

It seems like the only time I am happy right now is when I am doing something that distracts me from the fact that the bill collectors call me several times a day to try to get payments out of me that I cannot make because I do not have a job. I don't even answer my phone and it is on vibrate most of the time so that I do not hear it ring. I have turned back to my old friend known simply as music. IT is what got me through high school, and it is helping now. When I am listening to music, I can forget about everything and absorb myself. The power of the riff compells you. I forget who said that. It's true though. I pulled out some of my records and have been listening to those lately. I had forgotten how good some of them are. Keeper of the Seven Keys pt 1 by Helloween is AMAZING (A Tale That Wasn't Right is from that album). Metal Massacre 2 (a note about this one. It has the first bands of Cliff Burton and Marty Friedman as well as the first recordings of Overkill and ARmored Saint. Very cool)( reminds me of why I am a metal head in the first place. I have to wonder what happened to the band Third Stage Alert. Their singer had a good voice and Mind Invader was a cool song.

Anyway yeah. Screw society and it's stupid BS. I NEED A DAMN JOB! Someone give me a job before I punch random people on the street

http://fpte.topcities.com/frames.htm

Check out the news post if you want. Join the forums. Let us know what you think. This weeks comic features a new character, as I am sure many of you may have already guessed.

A word of warning. Conversing on the comic with Eric is proving to be tough once again. We do not have a comic for next week written. I would like to try to get it written before then, but I can make no promises at this time. I will do my best. You have my word on that. I shall try to talk to Eric next week. For now, though, enjoy this weeks strip

The Return...as in From Pong to Eternity is finally back. There is a news post about hte hiataus from a little while back. There is also a news post for today and a new review for you to read. This one is of Folklore. Anyway, check out Billy and Kain's latest brush with a lack there of. Hope you like it. Join the forums nad let us know what you think. Thanks for reading

http://fpte.topcities.com/frames.htm

It's a meaningless end to the story
got no time for my forgotten glory
and now just when i know what i'm after
it just brings me to laughter

The above is the first verse of the song Clerks by Love Among Freaks. It is, to no one surprise, the theme song from the movie of the same name. I recently pulled that movie back out and watched it for the first time in quite some time. I have always quite liked the song (it plays at the very begining, starting right after Dante hangs up the phone) and I was listening quite closely to the lyrics. I realized something....it's my life. That song almost feels like it was written about the life of every poor kid out of high school, every college student working for wages taht are not high enough to live on and every person who is or needs to save up money for college (I am currently in the third catagory. I need money before I can go to college...and I need to move before I can start saving money....and I need to get caught up on some bills before I can move). The title of this blog post is actually the first line of the course, and is the soul purpose of the song. We live day to day, paycheck to paycheck and month to month. It's a tough life I know, but we all have been through it or will go through it at some point during our lives. The good news is that there is alot of fun to be had.

Anyway, I have two very strong possibilities for a job. My brother works at Valvoline. I went up and picked up an app. I gavce them a copy of my resume when I turned it in and I talked to the boss. He says that I will have a job if I get an inspectors lisenses. There is a bit of a problem with that. It costs about 10 bucks. I am about 9 dollars and 75 cents short of that. I can get the money, but I cannot go to the school until Thursday. This is the lesser of the two. I will take it if my otheropportunity does not pan out, but I would rather have the other one

The other opportunity is a position at Sears. I would be making 6 dollars an hour plus commission after training. During training,. I believe I would be making 8 dollars an hour. Do not quote me on it, though. I am not sure on that figure. Anyway, I knew they were hiring. A good friend of mine who recently returned from a mission to Detroit, of all places, just got a job there. His name is Joe and he has been working there for about a week now. I have a second friend named John that got hired there, but has not started yet. I think I have a good chance of being hired there. I acutally have a third friend htat has worked there for about a year or so. His name is Jeremy. I worked with him both at Wal Mart and at Sbarros. I put down in the app that I was refered to the job by him. I think that may go over well, especially since him and I have worked together before. Anyway, my interview for this job is Monday at 2 PM. I am going to wash my best clothes tonight so that I can look my best for it. Wish me luck. I desperately need this. I want this job. With 3 good friends, it would be a fun experience for me. It wouldn't be like I don't know anyone going into it.

My brother is moving to Dallas. He is going to go to school there and work at a car dealership. He is going to leave Valvoline at the end of next month and start at the car dealership. I am not sure when he starts school, but he got himself a student loan that is enough to live on if he spends it wisely. Ontop of that, he will have a room mate (who doesn't have a real room because she spoke up after he applied for hte apartment despite him asking her about it before hand) who will pay for half the bill...once she gets a job anyway. He actually moves on Tuesday. I have not seen his new apartment yet and won't until that day. I am going up there to help him unpack. My friend htat I mentioned earlier (John) and I helped him pack up most of his stuff today. All that is left is the stuff that he wants to ensure will not break in the back of the U Haul. Today was a long day as a result of the packing, but whatever.

Speaking of moving, it looks like I will be moving to Ohio on June. I have a good friend that lives up there. Him and I found town houses not far from his place that we believe we will be able to afford if we room together. I am a bit excited about that, living on my own. I would really like to get out of this house. None the less, I am also scared about that. If my brother has problems, he isn't far away. If I have problems, I am on the complete opposite side of the United States from my parents. How will I come home for holidays such as Christmas? It's not like I will have enough money to just road trip back to Texas and flying isn't cheap either. I hope my parents will help me with that. I will also need help with the trip up there in the first place. Moving is not a cheap thing to do, and I am sure to have so much stuff that I will also need a U Haul. IT will cost quite a bit more than for my brother because I am moving a much greater distance than him. Part of me also is not looking forward to leaving Texas. It's damn near all I have ever known for my entire life. Texas is my home. Ah. Well. Maybe Eric and I can move back to the DFW area some day. I certainly hope so. Incredible cold isn't really my thing :P

Lets see....what else. Oh. My brother tripped over my component cables for my Playstation 2. I will lack the ability to display it in 480p until he replaces them. HE promised he would. Until he does, the best I have is S-Video. It's not BAD, but it is a bit disappointing. Unless you can get the PS2 to display the games at 480p (and not many do) they look like crap on an HD TV...and htat's what I have. It will work though. He says he can replace them on Saturday. Until then, I can play Devil May Cry 4 on the 360. Speaking of which, I beat the 4th mission earlier today. This game isn't as hard as DMC3 was and I, for one, am glad. The difficulty in DMC3 was ludacris. Oh. Baseball season started. Hell yeah. Go Rangers (their pitching has been surprisingly good through the first 6 games, though they are only 3 and 3) and Braves! The Dallas Stars kind of stumbled through the last month. they ended the season with a strong win today over the Sharks, though, and really showed alot of that spark that they had all through Febuary. They don't have home ice advantage i nteh first round against the Ducks, but, if they play like they did in Febuary, they probably will win. Go Stars. I am looking forward to watching Brad Richards in the playoffs. HE is a proven playoff performer. He was amazing in the Lightenings cup run a couple of years ago. This paragraph is jumping rapidly from one subject to another, and I think I finally ran out of things to say. Wish me luck in my interview!

I have alot that I want to talk about. As a direct result of this, this will be quite a long post, so bear with me. I imagine you are all used to me doing long blog posts, however. IT seems all of mine are quite long. Anyway, here we go.

While watching a recent hockey game between the Buffalo Sabers and the Florida Panthers, I caught the aftermath of the worst sports injury I have ever seen (I actually saw the incident later on on youtube). About half way through the third period, Florida forward Ollie Jokinen was knocked off his feet. His foot came flying up and it caught fellow team mate Richard Zednik on the neck, slashing his catorid artery. That is a very serious and life threatening injury. Richard probably saved his own life by skating to the bench under his own power. I have to admit. It takes a real man to do this. He was stabalized and sent to the emergency room where they performed life saving surgery on him./ He is continuing to recover in the Buffalo hospital. His condition was recently upgraded from 'stable' to 'good,' and he was moved to a private room where he is currently resting and getting well. I am a huge Dallas Stars fan. I love hockey and this was very sad for me. You can keep up with Zednik's status here as well as send him a well wish letter if you want. Get well Richard. You are in the thoughts and prayers of every hockey fan on the globe

It appears that another school was shot up today. This time the Northern University of Illinois was the target. Last time I checked, 5 people had died. This crap has got to stop. I mean, seriously, it seems we get multiple school shootings every year. It's sad and it pisses me off. You wopuold think we would have done something to be able to stop this kind of thing from happening ever since Columbine happened all those years ago. Something needs to be done. It has gotten to the point where it is no longer a freak occurence. It's like 'who is going to be the target this year?" Screw that. That pisses me off. What the hell would motivate someone to do something like this in the first place? Watch the media blame it on video games because...you know...all those gamers taking their anger out on a bunch of polygons. Oh the horror. Argh. Anyway. Send your thoughts and prayers out to the families of the victims of this latest school shooting.

On to my own personal life. My cousins and my aunt came to visit over the weekend for my grandmothers birthday (she lives about 10 minutes from me). HEr birthday was actually tuesday but, when you are working, it is kind of hard to come down during the work week, so they came down for the weekend before. IT was nice to see them all. My younger copusin accidently left her wallet in the car and was mad at herself when I sent her a text message saying 'nice wallet.' Hah. I told her that I would return it to her in a bit. I was playing Timeshift at the time. Little did I know that dodging missles on the last level of Timeshift would be such BS. IT took me well over an hour to beat a 3 minute section of game. She was probably wondering where hte hell I was by the time I got around to leaving. Oh well. I spent about 5 hours just sitting and talking to them that night. IT was fun.

The following morning, we were supposed to go out to eat lunch for my grandma right? My mom hwever told me when to wake up. I asked her when I should wake up and she said 'lunch time.' Ok mom. I am not psychic. I have no idea what 'lunch time' means. IT is a vague term that could mean 11, 12, 1 or even 2. How the hell am I supposed to know? I sat up and waited for her until about 3 AM so I could ask her again and, hopefully, get a better answer. Low and behold,. she didn;t get home until about an hour after I gave up and went to bed. I woke up at about 12:40 the next day and no one was here. I messaged her and she didn't reply to me....because she was eating. Thanks alot mom. If you can't tell me when to set my alarm, you could have atleast woke me up but nooooooooooo. It was a bad day, to say the least. I went with my cousin to buy a birthday present for her as well as candles and whatnot, or she was the one buying the present rather. I lack money. I didn;t get to eat anything at all that day until about 4 PM. On the way over to her house, I got a flat tire. Great. Just great. I had to put the spare on. That's never fun. You know that if you ahve ever done it. I was just impatiently waiting for that dreadful day to end.

I had decided to go to Seers the next day because I had a lifetime tire deal there. They told me that all four tires needed to be replaced. They pulled it into the shop and they are asking me what I want to do. Since I am not using my own money for this, the decision is not up to me. I call my mom. She says to call my brother. I call my brotehr. He says to wait and get tires the next day because it was his day off. Great. I had to pull it back out of the shop. I hate driving on the donut. I mean, what if it blows? You no longer have a spare tire. Wonderful. Besides that, those tires are just meant to get you from poiunt a to wherey ou get your tire replaced. Minimal driving. They are not good tires. Anyway, I did get my tiures replaced. They are supposed to be good in wet weather and they are 80000 mile tires. Nice. They should last me a while. I also got a life time replacement deal on those as well, so that's good. My car has brand new tires on it. All 4 of them to be exact. Yay.

While my car was in the tire shop, I used my brotehrs truck to go visit my grandma. It was, after all, her birthday. She has always lived in the middle of no where in Oklahoma. It is kind of hard to visit her on her birthday in that case. As such, I believe this is the first time that I have ever actualy been there on her birthday. It made her very happy. I only stayed for about an hour because I had to go get my car before the shop closed, but it was nice. She had 2 kinds of birthday cake. I had a piece of both. They were ok, but she cannot have sugar. They had some kind of artificial sweatener in them instead of sugar. Needless to say, a cake with real sugar is better. It always tasted better that way. She was really happy to have me there. I told her that I was going to buy her something for her birthday when I started making money. She said I didn't need to and that it was enough just to have me there. I think I am going to wind up doing the exact same thing that I did for my mom for Christmas. There is a store in the mall that sells beautiful wood carved sculptures of all kinds of animals. I may get her something from that. She's sure to like it. She loves pretty things like that.

I started job hunting again yesterday. I went to a few places and filled out a few apps. I also brought a few home with me with plans to fill them out and bring them back today, which I did. When I brought back the Quizno's app, she told me to come back later that afternoon. I did have a dr.s appointment today, which ate up an hour or so of my day. As such, I couldn't get back to Quizno's until about 3:30. I had gotten a phone call from a coffee shop in Virgin Megastore in the mall for an interview at 4 as well. I went to the Quizno's interview. IT lasted a little longer than anticipated, but I did get the job. IT is only 7 bucks an hour, but that is better than nothing. I would like more. I wanted 8 or more, but I cannot hold out. I need money. The interview lasted long enough that I wound up being 30 minutes late for the interview at the coffee shop. She didn;t mind though. She said she was busy at 4 anyway. This one also sounds promising and she said that she would call me tomorrow to see just how much they can offer me. They said 6. I may not turn them down. I may go with 2 jobs. More money you know. Lord know I will need it.

Anyway yeah. That about wraps it up for me. I am sure that there are minor details that I am missing here and there, but I am pretty sure that I did not miss anything major. Life has been confusing as hell lately, hence the title. That is a refgerence to Pelican by the way. Lost in the Headlights is a song on their latest offering City of Echoes. It is great insturmental rock if you are into that sort of thing. It has sojme metal influence and some prog. The tech skill is high, but there is alot of heart in it as well. Maybe things are finally looking up for me. One can only hope, right? Until next time people!

It's been a while since I have updated this. There is alot to talk about, and alot of it isn't good. I am going to start off by copying and pasting something I posted on a message board. I stress that this was a few weeks ago, so, despite it saying things like 'tonight' or 'this weekend' it did not happen then.

Not sure how many of you know, but my dad works in New Jersey and flies home every weekend. He flew home thursday night and marches up stairs and starts yelling at me because my car isn't parked where he thinks it should be. My brothers truck was there. He didn't even bother to say hi. He just started yelling at me. He was cursing at me, threatening to kick me out and all this other **** over where my car was parked. I did move my car and hoped that would be the end of it. Of course not. After a nap, he turned his attention to my mom. He accuses her of having no backbone and says that if things do not change by June, he will leave her. I go to my room so I won't have to listen to it anymore.

Today, he yelled at my brother. His tone of voice and things he said seemed to mean, "I am not proud of you. I am disappointed in you." He has been blaming us for stuff we did not do, and he has no proof behind his claims. He was insulting me and my brother behind our backs to our mom. He was calling us fat and lazy and all these other things. He is also contnuing to have at it with her as if she is causing all these relationship problems and **** He was saying she always says she never gets stuff done with the excuse that she never has time and was insisting that she spends all her time on the compute, which is bull****. She only gets on her computer at night.

My mom said he was pissed off at work for one reason or another. If that is true, he needs to deal with it, not **** take it out on us. He pissed me off and I haven't spoken a single word to him since he yelled at me on Thursday.

That;s my story. That weas one weekend about 3 weeks ago. I have not said a word to my dad since he yelled at me then. That's quite some time to keep silent, but it goes to show just how mad I am at him. It's all true. Every word of it is true. THinking about it makes me angry

I do have to be out of here by the end of June. This botehrs me alot. Why is my dad in such a rush to kick me out? He ios gone 5 days a week. That means that my mom is going to be here all alone 5 days a week. I don';t meant to brag, but our house is sizable. She is going to be completely by herself in a big house 5 days a week. She is going to be lonely, and I do not think my dad even cares. This bothers me.

On another note, I recently found out that my parents have been going to a swingers club for a while now. This news disturbs me greatly and makes me loose respect for both of them. I mean. I still love my mom, but...it's just not right. I have never cheated on a girlfriend. I never would. Even if I had her consent I wouldn't. IF she was in the room with me urging me to do something like that, I would tell her no. That's how strongly I oppose such things. The people that raised me would never have even considered such a thing. It disgusts me that they do. It's as if their morals have gone in the toilet or something. It's wrong on so many levels. It serves as a good way to catch something vile. I don't even want to think about it

I would like to think that I have a job, and, officially I do. I got hired at Albersons. They had me do orientation and never gavem e a time to come in. I called them and they had me go in on Friday. I went there and they had no idea what to do with me or where to put me. They had me stocking shelves all day. It was boring. I do not have an official job title, and they never gave me a schedule. I ahve no idea when I am supposed to return to work because they didn't set me up a schedule. It's bull. It feels like I still don't have a job. Woo. I may have a pay check with 9 hours on it now. That';s exciting. 9 hours won't pay the bills. They haven't told me how much money I am making either. Ontop of all of this, I got called into my office on the first day so that the store director could gripe at me about two things. The first is that he thought that my sitting on teh floor to reach the bottom shelves instead of bending at the knees to do it would look bad the the customers. Excuse me for concerning myself with my own personal health. I don't want to have bad knees later on in life. The second thing was to gripe at me about me doing my job slow. What;s that about? It;s my first day on the job. I have no idea where anything is. Every single item I put on the shelves, I have to look for where it goes. LEarning this kind of thing takes a while, and it certainly cannot be done in the few hours that I had been working there. I am going to go apply at a place called Going Bonkers. I would probably get better treatment there and more money. I've worked one day and htis job is already BS.

Back to me getting kicked out. The thought scares me. It means I will ahve to move into a cheap apartment. Whether or not I will have enough moen yfor things like air conditioning, which is very important in Texas, is still up in the air. In Texas, it gets hot enough all summer that you NEED air conditioning. People die because of the heat. It happens. IT seems I hear about it on the radio every summer. This scares me. Ontop of that., I worry about not having money for anything besides cost of living. I want ot go to college. I want to move up in the world. Where am I going to get the money for that if I am too busy working my ass off to pay rent?! IT also means I may have to live without new video games. That's like asking a drunkard to not drink. I need video games. They aren';t just entertainment. They are my life. They will be my career. Teh yare my escape fro ma life that pretty much seems to try to drag me down further all the time. Thanks for nothing dad.

I went to see Cloverfield recently. If you like giant monster movies, this is an extremely good one. IF you don't, check it out anyway. It isn't a cheese fest like they quite often intend to be. The movie is quite intense and hte action is very cool. The camera is dizzy though.For those that do not know, ti was shot as if the camera man was a person caught up in the chaos created by the monsters attack. This means there are loads of things like bad camera angles and shakey shots, and it's all intentional. It works to the movies advantage, if you ask me. It gives it a feel of fear and dread over the entire film. IT was very cool. Ther was also abits of humor here and htere to break it up. The monster was very cool, and it took great care to never show too much of it right up until the end. I highly recommend this movie

I also saw Rambo today. I saw alot of people saying this movie sucked for reasons like it lacked a plot. To me, this screams that these people did not watch any of the previous Rambo movies. Any fan of the series would have told you that there would be very little plot. That's not why we go see movies like this. We go to see people get shot and to watch stuff blow up. Alot of people got shot and alot of stuff blew up. I don't understand all of the negative reviews. It delivers what it promises: lots of action. IT also had his trademark bow and arrow. What more could you ask for from a Rambo movie? It was awesome and, if you like action flicks, especially the 80's stuff like Commando, go see this movie. You won't be disappointed

Dark Messiah of Might and Magic Elements - PArt of me wants to like this game. I can tell that there is a great game hidden somewhere in here, but it is burried under a multitude of problems. The controls are shoddy at best. Just try to impale someone and you will see what I mean. The voice actign was poor and hte game was glitchy. Enemies are dumb. One of them stoped attacing me out of the blue and just stood there as I whacked away at him. I played through the demo as botu a mage and a warrior. The mage as a bit more challenging and more fun because his weaker physical strength forces you to rely more on magic. The entire thign feel like wasted potential

Kingdom Under Fire: Circle of Doom - This is Gauntlet. It is. You run through linear paths that are the outdoor equivalent of corridors and beat the crap out of everything htat moves. The game felt button mashy and repetitive. The level up system felt tacked on in an attempt to make it seem like some kind of RPG, which it isn't,. IT is weakk. Only 3 stats that you can upgrade? What's that about? where are all my skills I can gradually upgrade over time? It kind of leaves a bad aftertaste in your mouth. Before the demo was done, I was going "Is this ever going to end?" I read the prologue to this game and thought "Just how many RPG cliches can they cram into the back story?!"

FEAR Files - I am sure you are all aware that, despite being repetitive, I liked FEAR. The enemies are smart and fun to fight against, and that has not changed with FEAR Files. Everything I liked about FEAR is still in tact. IT would be nice to see some things change, but more FEAR is not a bad thing. I wasn't amazed, but it did keep my interest enough to make me consider buying this one. As a side note, I like the FEAR story and want to know what happens next. I am also looking forward to Project Origin

Condemned: Criminal Origin - My initial impression of this game was not good. During hte evidence gathering segment, it just kind of throws you in and says "Do it" without telling you giving you any clue as to what you are supposed to shine your green light on. I was steps away from saying "eff this" when I found hwat I was looking for. I am glad I did because this game actually wound up seeming like it would be pretty cool. The eerie sound design is decent for a horror game and the unnatural movements of your enemies added to the overall atmosphere of this game. I liked the ability to pick up anything and use it as a weapon. I am glad I stuck with this demo because it wound up being fun. This is one 460 game I am definitely going to look into

Crackdown - This game felt like it was Grand Theft Auto basically. Instead of playing the crooks, you play the cops....with super powers. IT is a strange combo, but it works. This game seemed quite fun and I wonder what extra stuff hte final version has in store beyond what the demo offers.

Orange Box - Yes. I played the Orange Box demo despite owning it for PC. I wanted to see what hte game was like on consoles. Sue me. Anyway, I can see how someone would wind up not buying the game based on this demo. Tjhe only one of hte 5 games they actually give you a preview of is HL2 Episode 2. Why? And it was maybe 10 minutes in length...and all 10 minutes was story. Although it did show off the impressive physics of the Source engine, it never got into any of the really good parts of Half Life 2 Episode 2, which is most of it actually. What were they thinking with giving you so little? If you are still on the fence over the Orange Box, ignore this demo. IT doesn't give you a feel for just how good the whole package, let alone Episode 2, is.

Overlord - I liked this demo ALOT. I didn't want it to end. I was sad when it did. The game may not be the most amazing thing in any way, but it has it where it counts. This game is fun. IT never takes itself too seriously, but it gives players the opportunity they have always wanted. The chance to play the evil guy that we have been slaying for the last 20 years. The chance to kick around the hero instead of the villian. Watching your minions destroy things and listening to the cries of the villagers and what now should please anyone with a bit of a sadistic side. Download it and try it for yourself. Hack everything apart. Help people out and then betray them. It's fun.

Marathon - This game brings back memories. I used to have Marathon 2 for PC many moons ago and I remember playing it quite a bit. This game is as cool as I remembered, and it makes me wonder why Bungie forgot how to make an awesone FPS (Note: Have not tried H3, but 1 and 2 failed to impress me). This game is simple but fun and, graphically, it has received quite an upgrade. It looks quite a bit better than I remember. I don;t have the best memory in the world, though, so I may be wrong.

Still need to try Frontline: Fuels of War and Perfect Dark Zero