I even left school early to get this cd. And I am not dissappointed. I wouldn't go so far as to say that it is better than Disturbed's original cd, "The Sickness," but it is definately better than their second cd "Believe."

But hey, I like it!

Lord British

I feel completly apathetic towards LaRae now. I finally got a chance to breakup with her last night. Actually I do feel a little bit of pity for her. I mean, being a pathological liar is a bad thing to be. Being completely unable to stop lieing, I think she needs to see a therapist about that or something.

Heh, the breakup was boring. She stood like right infront of me for 10-15 min at US-75 but I never looked at her (she loves attention so I didn't pay any attention to her). I didnt even look into her eyes when I was breaking up with her, I glanced at her face but that was an accident. I was leaving US-75 and I told her I needed to talk to her. Then I was thinking about whether or not I should just tell her or if I should draw it out.
Her: "Just say it."
Me: "I'm Breaking up with you."
Her: "Okay."

That was it. And apparently she was going to break up with me (Matt said she wrote a note and everything), so I'm glad that I was able to do it before she could. I'm also very glad that Kelly did everything she could to make me open my eyes and see LaRae for what she really is before I could get hurt. Thats why I wouldn't look at her. I can see through all the lies and bullsh*t. She has become Ugly to my eyes.

I'm also glad that she didn't get mad when I broke up with her, because now that I know she never really loved me and that she didn't care about me and that our time together ment nothing to her (just like it means nothing to me) I have no second thoughts about it. I am free from her grasp once and for all.

Oh and, I'm officially a xanga newbe by Josh's standards. I have reached 40 subscribers. Ben Page was the 40th. So thank you Ben, you rock!

Lord British (The Man In Black) Was Here!!!!

Dazed & Confused....

More so than before....

Doing detective work is really hard! Sorting out all the facts, getting everything straight, figuring out who is lieing and who is telling the truth. It is all so confusing. I have to turn to people completely uninvolved with the situation to find any kind of useful guidance...Too bad that person won't answer her God Damn cell phone!! What happens over the next couple of days and the decisions I make based on them, will have a huge impact on my life for the next couple of months. The worst part is, either way somebody will get hurt. I have to make my decisions carefully, but my head is spinning. Things are finally starting to come into perspective, but I dont think I like what I'm beginning to see. Just take my time, wait it out, be patient.

This time, I'm going to wait it out...Find the answer. Step into the Shadow. Shrouding every step I take. Soften this old armor. Hopin' I can clear the way. I've been wallowing in my own confused, insecure delusions. I wanna feel the change consume me. From the outside turning in. I wanna feel the chains coming down. I wanna know what I've been hiding...in My Shadow.

Lord British (The Man In Blood) Was Here!!!!

Im feeling depressed now. Its hard to be happy, when the price for having happiness is this high. I dont know what to believe anymore. But I do know one thing with absolute certainty.... I cant trust myself. I hear one thing and then the opposite. And then I hear more contradictions. I'm so confused! Why cant I just be happy for once without having to sacrifice myself or anyone else to have it? Does such a happiness even exist? If it does, will I ever find it? I wish I could just jump into a time machine and go back to that night under the moon and stay there forever... I was happy that night. Will that happiness return? Something is horribly wrong! I can feel it! Is this the same feeling Kelly was having? I am so torn within myself. I'm torn between my most trusted friends, myself, and LaRae. And I dont know who to believe anymore.

GOD DAMN IT!!! WHY WAS I CREATED TO BE THIS WAY? Why was I made to care about others? Why cant I just be a stereotypical jack-ass who does give a F*ck about anyone else? I wish that I only cared about getting p*ssy! Why do I care so much for everybody else? Why do I screw myself over again and again for others? Cant I just do one thing thats for me? Cant I be heartless for once? I want to be heartless! I want to be a bastard! I want to be self-centered! But the reality is that I am none of those things, even when I try, I still cant be any of those things.

I curse the day I was born...The day my twin died so that I may live.

Do you have the answers GOD? Can you tell me why? Does anybody know? Will I ever find out? Will I ever be the man that I want to be instead of the man that I am? Will there ever come a day when I start looking out for myself? Will it ever end? Will I be the one to end it?

this fog is amazing, i can barely drive the roads are so foggy. its like something out of silent hill, and the whole town is covered in it. maybe its being invaded by the other world, wouldnt that be awsome. bartlesville turning into a real life silent hill, now we will get to find out what happend to all the inhabitants, weather they all turned into the monsters or were they all killed by the monsters. thats always been a burning question for me. anyways, i love the fog, its so beautiful.

hey, i saw this on someones xanga and thought it would be fun to fill out.

Write 5 likes and dislikes about anything.
1. I like helping people when they need help the most.
2. I dislike it when someone needs help and they wont let me help because their are to afraid to admit that they have a problem.
3. I like girls.
4. I dislike the fact that Keifer and Syble live 487 miles away.
5. I like breasts.
6. I dislike this corrupt world.
7. I like the night.
8. I dislike having to wake up in the morning.
9. I like listening to music all day.
10. I dislike having lots of homework.

well that was fun!

proverbs:

68. I will be here. I will be here waiting for you so....if you come here...you'll find me.

mustang: 15

nothing else new to report, make sure u read my post about my new movie and please comment, i feel lonely because no one has commented on my site in so long.

i have finished making all the final preperations for the new movie. this movie shall be the greatest of them all, enhanced by the experience i have gotten from making the first two movies in the series. im guessing the movie will be aproximately 4-5 hours long. im talking about making the movie for the newest installment in the Metal Gear Solid series. the first metal gear solid movie i made was mgs2 because it was on the ps2 and it had good graphics. i tried doing careful editing but it proved to difficult for me at the time, so from hour 1 on i just let the vcr record everything i did in the game, and it came out to be 7 hours long. the next movie i made was a movie of silent hill 3, this was a true work of art, i edited it perfectly, it was a masterpiece. unfortunatly i let josh borrow it once so that he could watch it, it was only 2 hours long. josh lost it without even watching it, and he says that he is still looking for it, yeah right! next came mgs1, but not the original version, it was the gamecube remake called twin snakes. this one was 5 1/2 hours and was very well done, not as good as silent hill 3 but still really good. and now that mgs3 is hear and i have played it enough to know the game well enough to be able to edit it properly i will begin making it before the end of the week. this time i will use more then just cutscenes and ingame to make the movie. im incorporating scenes from the many trailers made for the game over the years. im going to use these scenes which i have carefully edited on the computer and put onto a dvd to tie the cutscenes together. i will also begin the movie by playing a music video i have made of the game, using the song "Eye of the Tiger". its going to be shear perfection.

proverbs:

66. Survival of the fittest.

67. If your gonna keep actin' like a b*tch, then I'm gonna slap you like a b*tch.

mustang: 8

Its freakin cold!

i have found a phrase that sounds really badass, and im going to start using it whenever someone is being stupid, hostile, agressive, or annoying towards me. and i have called this phrase also, so no one else use it because its mine. the only reason im saying it on here is so that u will know to look out for it, and so i would have something to say. ok here it goes....

If your gonna keep acting like a b*tch, then I'm gonna slap you like a b*tch.

what do u think, pretty badass huh?