I have never been more tired in my life. This morning I woke up, and I was insanely dizzy. I must have looked drunk to everyone. And the sad thing is, I have no one to blame. I can't blame my roommate, because even though she studied until stupid 3am (Who DOES that in college???) I was still wide awake when she walked back in the room. So it's my fault, I was up pretty late doing some editing on my story for my friend because she's coming over this weekend and we'll be working on our *manga* (insert jazz hands here). and then of course I ran out of sleeping pills. So the insomnia returns. I imagine that without them in a few days I will be wide eyed and dead looking. But I will probably have finished much video games, like last year. Except last year I didn't have a roommate the whole year. But she has a boyfriend, why, if she is so sick of me, doesn't she stay here?

Wow. Someone rambles when she's tired. I'm even having trouble typing or remembering anything. Like in Eternal Sonata, I can't remember that girl's name. I'm going through them all in my head, like "March? Salsa? Waltz???!! WTF??!! What is her name!!"

If anyone's wondering how my neck is doing, I went to a chiropractor. He was amazing. I am awesome now, but I have to go back for a follow-up today. But I'm doing a lot better, and my stepdad is going to pay for the two appointments and then I'm on my own. I have to get my own health insurance sometime soon.

I have a great story for anyone who likes to hear about morons! :D

So last Monday, I think it was, I was working at the front desk in my dorm. This guy comes downstairs, and asks me if I had gotten any packages in the last hour. I'm confused, since I had been there ten minutes. I told him no, the mail doesn't come until the afternoon. He gets all sad and then tells me he's expecting an important package. I don't care, but I don't say that, I just repeat that the mail comes in the afternoon, and the packages come with it. He goes away.

Ten minutes later he comes back. He tells me, with authority, that on the internet, it says the package has been delivered. I want to hit him in the face. Instead, I tell him that the package has been delivered....to the post office. He gets all flustered and tells me that, by God, if the package has been delivered it MUST be in the cabinet. I ask his name. I look in the cabinet. No package. He's pissed at me by now. I ask him the question that shuts him the hell up: "Did you even check your mailbox for a package slip?"

He grumbles, gets out his key, looks his mailbox:no slip. But he insists "It said it was delivered...."

If anyone does online shopping to the max, it's me. If it's delivered in the morning, it will be there in the afternoon. I have learned this. I know these things.

Here's the kicker: he came back after the hour had passed, saw me at the desk, turned around and walked away.

I love stupid people. I do.

either that or I've been going crazy lately. I finished Code Geass season one and it was *awesome*, so I went to download the rest. But the site I usually download from is stupid and doesn't have episodes 11 and 12. Also, everything's way out of order. It makes me want to hurt things.

Let's see, I attempted to get my neck checked out by a chiropractor, but my mother informed me I'm not on her insurance anymore. So now I might die of meningitis. Oh well, it was a good life.

Oh, it's my Gamespot birthday! Two years on Gamespot! Whoo! and I passed level 20. I remember I first joined Gamespot when I was TAing in the library my senior year. Then the computer administration blocked Gamespot because it had "game" in it. I was pissed. I wasn't really active my first year, but then I got super speedy interwebz!

I got to an epic part in Xenogears. I haven't played in a while though. I know. Shame on me for forsaking my favorite hobby (video games) for my second favorite (anime). I just haven't been able to sit down and watch anime for so long. It felt so good. I watched 3 animes this week. Good times.

So after I beat Xenogears (and then Persona 3--it's taking me FOREVER to finish since so many other games came out and distracted me), I plan to either play Shadow Hearts or Beyond Good and Evil. Or something else that someone wants to tell me to play. But those are my first two choices.

I applied for my 3rd job. I'll be working most likely in the early mornings or the late evenings. Either way, I'm not going to get a lot of sleep. But it's okay, more money means more video games! (Or less loans for college....*grumble* stupid adult responsibility)

I have a philosophy test on Wednesday, so I think I'll go study for that....on Tuesday night! HA! Off to watch season 2 of Code Geass, I am!

I am one fraking percent from level 21. Finally. Almost there.

So last night I gave myself the first bloody nose in 15 years. I was showering late night night, all hyped up on energy, and I was vigorously scrubbing my face. The problem with that is that I have extremly long nails. So as I was scrubbing, my thumb slipped and scraped the inside of my nose. It hurt insanely bad and I was bleeding all over. When I got out I just shoved a kleenex in my nose and all was well. Talk about special.

Alrighty, games. I love Xenogears. The only problem I have is the graphics are starting to catch up with me. After playing so many last and current gen games, Xenogears tends to hurt a little. But it's okay. If I can play Disgaea 3 on the ps3, I can play Xenogears :P I just got done playing hide and seek with some kids and recieved a badge. There's still 3 days left this weekend, and I have lots of energy drinks.

On an unrelated note, my neck is starting to hurt. When I get colds my muscles usually get sore, so a few weeks ago when I was sick I really didn't think about it. Now I can hardly move it and I can't even crack it (which was such a luxury for me) I'm going to have to see a chiropracter soon because sleep is starting to get painful.

Did I mention my roomate is gone? 8D

I got Xenogears. It's everything I wanted and more. However I'm not able to play it as much as I would have liked, but I have a three day weekend ahead of me so I'll have myself a little marathon.

Also, the paperwork for my loan is due today. If I refuse to hand it in, it will display to my mother that I'm not going to take her crap anymore and that she can't just dump her responsibility on me. But it's likely she'll be angry and manipulative, making me pay for the rest of my college year all by myself, and also she'll probably take me off her health insurance.

This is like last year, when I wanted my stepdad (her ex-husband) to adopt me (my real dad, how you say, sucks at being a father).So we have everything ready, a court date, the paperwork, you name it, and she threatens to stop supporting me through college.

Oh yea. She's real mature.

...why I plan to be a hermit. Last week some girl I work with asked me to work a 4-7 shift for her on Saturday. I said no problem, asked her if she wanted to switch any other shifts so she didn't lose those three hours. Nope, she said, that's ok, she had a double shift that day somewhere else and a three hour loss was a-ok.

Note the emphasis on THREE HOURS.

So I work her shift for her, no problem. Sunday afternoon Note tells me to listen to a message on his cell phone voice mail (we're pretty much together all the time on the weekends so if people want to get a hold of me they call his cellphone rather than my room phone) turns out my supervisor called him and yelled at him because I was supposed to work the same girl's shift on Sunday afternoon.

I haven't had a chance to speak with my boss yet, but...this is ridiculous. Just because I planned to work part of her weekend shift gives her NO reason to assume I'm going to work the other five hours and let me get in trouble for it. Now my boss is ticked off at ME because some stupid girl thought she could take a vacation. I swear I cannot remember her telling me ANYTHING about me working on Sunday morning, which is why I emphasized the fact that I only had to work THREE hours.

And to make matters worse, I had to deal with two stupid people today already, I'm only 1/2 hour into my shift. Some guy came to the front asking where his papers were that he printed off. I pointed him to the basket clearly marked "PRINTOUTS". He scoffed and made a face at melike I shoud be standing there with the printouts in my hand, waiting.

Another idiot decided it would be dandy for him to come behind the counter, even though the door says "EMPLOYESS ONLY". WTF. Can't people READ anymore!? Where has the common sense of the human race gone!? I asked him to step out and stand at the counter. He said "Can't you give me my key first?"

Stand at the counter like every other ****ing person. I can hand keys over the counter perfectly as if you were standing next to me. Now get the hell out of my work space.

That's why I want to become a hermit. I can write stories in my giant mansion and send off one every once in a while to make another million dollars (geez, someone has delusions of grandeur...) I wish. In the meantime, I spoke to my older sister. She and her boyfriend are moving into a house together and since things aren't really working out between me and my mom (what with her forcing me to spend money I don't have) I asked her if I could come and live in her basement. Of course I would pay rent, I said, and I don't plan to come out of my room unless I'm going to work or school. She sent this crazy long email about how I would have to pay rent and blah blah blah. So basically she just told me I'd have to do everything I said I would (except stay in my room--she doesn't understand my hermit-ness). But I think this is a better option for me. I can work more, higher paying jobs to save up some money for my own place, and at the same time I plan to take one or two (maybe three) classes at some other college. I'd rather work slowly and throughly through a goal than try to finish it quickly and crappily (let's just say my grades aren't the hottest.) I would pay for this college by myself because I plan to have a talking with my mother, and I plan to ask nicely for that money set aside for my college, since that's what it's there for and she's not doing a damn thing with it (Quote: "Which leaves another 3000$ for us to pay, and *sigh* I just don't know where we're going to get that.")

By taking only a few classes at a time the money would only slowly dwindle from the college fund, and if I need to I can put money in it from my savings.

In other unrelated news, VIDEO GAMES. I beat Tales of Vesperia this weekend. I spent close to 4 hours in the final dungeon. It was hella long, but by then I had all these sweet artes and skills so it made the grinding to the final boss kinda fun. Besides, I could have probably done some more grinding, because DAMN. The boss fight was long. It wasn't really hard, but it was long. The ending was strange and kinda unexpected. I mean, everything turned out alright and it wasn't completely out of the blue. I guess I just expected more justice and retribution for the bad guy.

Also almost finished with Persona 3. Whew, did that game throw me for a loop. I was all like "I HAS EVERYTHING FIGURED OUT" but I actually only had half of it figured it. Which is cool, as an English major plot twists make me drool.

Speaking of which, I plan to play Xenogears as soon as it shows up. *squee*

No seriously. My roommate took out her trash and everything so today I'll talk about games.

I paid off my Star Ocean pre-order, yippee. Also purchased Digital Devil Saga, but I only bought the original because it was about 40$. The second one is around 55$ so I'll wait until another pay day. My Disgaea and Rhapsody package should be here soon, along with Shadow Hearts and Xenogears.

This weekend I must beat Tales of Vesperia and hurry to finish Persona 3 so I can move on. Plus, it's almost October. Fable II and Fallout 3 are coming out. 8D Such a good game time, it is.

Also, Note made me a banner! :D It's full of adorable things. But because GS wouldn't let us upload a 49kb banner (which is stupid because that's under 50kb >_>) we had to make it smaller and now the quality sucks. But at least it's there.

I had to wake up insanely early to go take a test, but my roomate wanted to stay up and play flash games until 2am. This prompted me to start looking for apartments. I'm going to see if I can't find a normal person to share an apartment with. I cannot believe people like her exist.

Moving onto games, I bought Shadow Hearts for a decent price. When payday shows up, I plan to get the Digital Devil Saga games because I can find them brand spanking new, each around 50$. Also, I should probably maybe pay off my pre-orders, or perhaps get things like shampoo. (Actually, I don't use shampoo that often--because my hair is so curly shampoo dries it right out. I only use it about every 4 days, if that.) I promised myself I wouldn't spend all my "hard-earned" money this year, so as long as I don't go below a certain amount in my savings I'll be good (and yet, by that logic, I only have 5$ left....)

I'm feeling a little depressed lately for a number of reasons. I'm not sure what some of them are, but I know I'm really starting to loathe my university. A lot of people tell me I need college. But let's get real: my major is Creative Writing. What can four expensive years here teach me that a few online courses can't? or maybe practice? I understand that a lot of college is not just teh actual classroom setting, but at the expense of telling everyone the crap I've been going through in the past year, let's just say...I think I've seen enough. I've had a lot of good experiences, some not so great ones, and some that just been terrible and taught me loads about myself. also, I've been a waitress for close to two years now. What job can teach you how to deal with people more? (it's also taught me that I despise people for the most part--even though my mother tells me I need these skills, I still don't take or give BS).

Hence the title of this blog--*sigh*

I'll end on a disgusting little note--the GMWs, the people that clean our bathrooms and kitchens, redid their contract. They're no longer obligated to take out our garbage. The garbage that's in our rooms, we have to take out ourself. However, our GMW is particulaly awesome, so he still takes out our trash for us. Our RA told us not to overflow the garbages though, even though that happens EVERY DAY. I only throw my trash away in the kitchen if the bag isn't full. If it is, I take it out on my way to class--it's only an extra 20 feet or so.

Because my roommate is stupid and lazy, plus she claims not to know where the dumpster is (um, hello, it's that big green thing right outside the building?), she has 3, yes, 3 bags of garbage full of dirty kleenexs, food containers, and God knows what else sitting next to her computer.

Is that not disturbing? I mean, I know we live on the 3rd floor on a building with no elevators, but seriously, it's only THREE FLOORS. Get some frigging exercise. I've told her where the dumpster is like 3 times now. There is no excuse why she just can't take it out. I mean, she smokes close to 5 times a day (not counting when she walks to class, just when she leaves the room). Why can't she just throw away her garbage then?

You can understand my frustration with her now, yes?

I pre-ordered more games again. The Last Remnant, Tales of Symphonia 2, and Persona 4. I make decent money every other week so I can pay it off the monies in no time. I just might have to, you know, eat ramen every day for a while. Also, I'm planning on buying the original Shadow Hearts this week, but it's ridiculously expensive. Like 40$ for a used copy, 193$ for brand new. I'm going to look for a good used copy and buy that, because I don't have 193$. >_>

I got the time to watch something amazing last night. If you haven't watched it yet, you need to. It's called Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. you need to google it and watch it. It's awesome. I think so at least, and you should all feel the same way.Watch it nao!

I pre-ordered Star Ocean: The First Departure, Castlevania: Order of Eccelsia, and Ninjatown yesterday (I didn't get my plushie yet though--none in stock :( the assistant manager promised me one though, maybe two if no one else orders it.) I would have pre-ordered a lot more, but many of you have heard of the large-chested b*tch that stole my job at Gamestop. Yup, she was there. I didn't want to help her numbers, so I told her I was just pre-ordering 3 for now, since I didn't have any more monies. But I think she noticed the other 20$ in my checkbook. O.o

I was really pissed off though, because she has this way of doing this....thing. I mention a game I have, liked, played, or would like to play, and she bashes it. and I would accept that bashing if she knew what the hell she was talking about.

Example: I borrowed Warcraft III from Note. The main reason I borrowed it is not because RTS is my thing, but because I like WoW but would like to hear some background story on the Lich King. So I have the case sitting on my desk. she walks into my room (she thinks we're best friends, so she invites herself over, even when I already have friends over, and sometimes in nothing but a bath towel--this happened TWICE). She looks at the case, picks it up, and says "Oh my God, Warcraft 3! You're kidding, right?" I give her a weird look and tell her I haven't played it yet. "Ok, good. That game is terrible."

Um. Ok. You work at Gamestop. You should know that's one of the most highly rated RTS games EVAR. Your opinion means squat to me. I mean, why would they make an MMO based around it if it sucked? For the record, this girl owns a ps2. She has a psp, but "I don't play it anymore because Crisis Core was the only good game for it." She plays 1. Japanese RPGS and 2. Platformers. Yes, platformers. Now I love platformers. But upon sitting on her futon the other day and looking at her "collection" (read: every Crash Bandicoot game on the ps2, and 3 JRPGs) I felt kinda sick that the manager would hire her (remember I mentioned she has big boobs? yup, there's your answer). She doesn't know jack about video games.

When I tell her that I want to pre-order Star Ocean for the PSP, she laughs this shrill, godawful laughter.

"Oh my GOD, why would you want that?" She exclaims. I raise an eyebrow and glance at the assistant manager. He makes a gun with his fingers and puts it to his head.

My roommate has gotten in the habit lately of staying out super late. during the week, I can expect her to return anywhere from midnight to 2am. But on the weekends, I don't expect her back until closer to 5am. So last night I waltz into my room at midnightish, flip on the lights, start typing furiously on my computer, the whole works. Well, about 1/2 hour later, something moves in my roommate's bed.

It was (of course) my roommate. It seems her sick little man freak thing (in other words, her boyfriend) got her sick and she went to bed early. So I shack up for the night and go to bed. I go to my first class to take a test and realize that i have developed some sort of terrible cold/flu hybrid.

I am going to kill her. But of course, when I get back from class, she's still sleeping. The lazy thing. I'll have to destroy her later.

And so, I got my first game from Gamefly yesterday. Note and I ordered the Darkness due to a mild interest, and anything with a mild interest would get bought in no time. But I staved off the urge, and rented it instead. I'm glad too, because while it was a fun game for a while, too much of it made me angry. One thing that ticked me off was that a chair that had been knocked over can stop a 200 lb, 6 ft guy in his tracks. I'm no science person, but I guess I just don't understand physics, or whatever department that is.

Tomorrow I'm going to pick up Dragon Quest IV, sell Heavenly Sword because I have no desire to play that game ever again, and preorder Ninjatown, because I hear that you get a free plushie ninja with purchase. Oh, the cuteness.