A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, "Sh*t!!! That must be my husband!!!"

So the guy quickly got out of bed. Scared and naked, he grabbed his pants and jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the ground, went through a thorn bush, then he stood up and started to run fast to his car.

Just a few minutes later, he returned and screams at the woman, "What the hell are you trying to do to me? I'm your husband you slut!!!"

The woman yelled back, "Yeah? Why were you running then you son of a bit*h!!!"

:lol:

It means that I'll be on a lot more than I have been these past few months!!! :D :D :D This past trimester has been really difficult and challenging, but it's over now :D Next tri won't be nearly as difficult, so I'll have more time to come online and reach my seemingly impossible goals :lol:

We took finals on Wednesday and Thursday, so my final grades are in :D I doubt you care, but here's my grades :lol: :P

1. Probability & Statistics = B+ on the final, A in the class

2. Etymology = A- on the final, A+ in the class

3. Chemistry = C on the final [I didn't study :lol:], A in the class

4. U.S. History = A+ on the final, A+ in the class [Believe it or not, I got straight A+'s in this class :lol:]

5. Pre-Calculus = C on the final, B in the class :cry: I haven't gotten a B since freshman year :cry: :lol:

This tri, I have a two class period internship, English, Latin 3, and chemistry :D It shouldn't be that hard :)

As for my tv.com goals, I need to level up 12 (71%) more levels, 376 more submissions, 85 more reviews, 1 editorship, and 109 more forum posts :D I think I'll get all of them but the levels :( I can't see me getting to level 50 by February :lol:

Wow that sounded stupid :lol: Oh well :lol: So what do you guys think of the redesign now that we can see our submissions, reviews, and progress bars? :D I still don't like this redesign, but it's a little more bearable now :D

I have an apology to several friends on this site :( I just noticed that several people I tracked say I'm not tracking them anymore :? I think it's just a glitch, but nothing I do can fix it :cry: I try to track them again, but it won't do anything :cry: Does anybody else have this problem? :( How long does it last? :(

Anywho, I'm really sorry to everyone who is involved in this glitch :( I haven't been ignoring you, it's just that I can't find you anymore :( I'll try to make it up to you when you this glitch is fixed :) I'm really sorry...:(

About time too! :D It feels as if I've been stuck at level 36 for months! Well....I think I might have been :? :lol: I can't remember....:lol: I seriously doubt I'm going to reach my goal of level 50 by my third tv.com anniversary though :( I've only got about 3 months left...

Some of you are probably going to hate me after this but: WAHOO!!!!! OBAMA WON!!!!!! :lol: :D My family and I were pulling for him to win :D

1. It takes food 7 seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
2. One human hair can support 3 kg.
3. The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.
4. Your thumb is the same length of your nose.
5. If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13 feet long when he died.
6. Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
7. There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
8. Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one square inch.
9. The average person's skin weighs twice as much as their brain.
10. When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate.
11. They do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
12. It takes twice as long to lose new muscle if you stop working out than it did to gain it.
13. You're ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't.
14. Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
15. If saliva can't dissolve something, you can't taste it.

Side Note: You checked the length of your thumb, didn't you? :lol: I did :lol: :oops:

Ha ha! :lol: What do you think of my evil Halloween smily in the title? :lol: It reminds me of a pumpkin :lol:

I was running out of title ideas so I had to think of something! :lol:

1. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
2. Arguing with your boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.
3. Behind every successful man, is a surprised mother-in-law.
4. Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop.
5. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems but then again, neither does milk.
6. Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
7. You're not a complete idiot. There's still some parts missing.
8. Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

I know those were boring, but the best is yet to come :wink:

I can't believe I haven't been online much since my birthday :( I feel so bad... I do have some good news though! :D Spell bowl is finally over!!! :D The last meet was on Monday. This time, we had 6 people on our team :lol: I only spelled 4 out of the 9 words right :lol: :oops: Better than 2 I guess *coughZachcough* :lol: :P

My sister is finally allowing me to read the Twilight series!!!!! :D :D :D :D I finished the first one, but it wasn't as good as everyone said it was :( I still really liked it, but after reading the Guardians of Time trilogy, I didn't thik it was all that great :( I'm reading New Moon right now. I hope it gets better soon :( It's sad and depressing because Bella is all sad and depressed...*sigh* It reminds me of myself this summer when Zach and I broke up...

Pre-calculus is getting difficult :( I have a test on Monday, and part of me actually believes I'm going to fail :( I can't stand math....

My kitties are back!!!! :D Most of you don't know this, but they left on Thursday morning to go get declawed and fixed :( They're back though! :D

And now for some great news: I found more "funny" stuff to put on my blogs :D I won't share them now, but I'll try to post some tomorrow or Monday :wink:

So how is everyone else doing?