YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!! I have no school today! This means I don't have to take my geometry test:D:D:D:D:D:D YES!!!

I just watched Torrent of Terror:D That was a very good episode, it was so funny. Does anyone know where I can watch Forever Phantom? It's not working:cry:

Oh crap!:evil: I made a couple of girls mad in gym today. Since we had the two hour delay, we were allowed to walk upstairs the entire period. There were these girls who secretly left the gym and wandered out in the halls. They left the door propped open with a trash can, so they could get back in the gym later without getting locked out. I made the mistake of moving the trash can and letting the doors close while they were out in the halls. They came back in a minute later and started cussing me out and telling me I had no business to shut the door. They were pissed!!! This scares me, because these girls get into trouble alot and they may do something to me for revenge; like taking my clothes and trying to flush them in the toilet.

I did my speech today for English:D I did mine on my favorite author, Phyllis A. Whitney. I can't remember giving my speech (I always forget the speeches I give; I can never remember what I talk about) but everyone says it was good. My teacher really liked it and she gave me one of her rare smiles:D:D:D A girl I rarely talk to came up to me and said I'd make a great teacher:lol: This cheered me up:D

More bad news: My best friend Chelsea has been having these weird 'attacks' for the past year or so, and she finally went to the doctor, and he thinks she has a pinched nerve or a tumor in her brain:shock::cry::cry: She goes to a neurologist this week to see what's wrong:(:(:(

21 Things I Learned From My Kids

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.

5. When using the ceiling fan as a baseball bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a six-year-old.

11. "Play-Doh" and "microwave" should never be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise in a moving car.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

21. Cats spit up twice their body weight when dizzy.

Here are some jokes I found on the internet the other day:D

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.  She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.  The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

A teacher was having a tasting day where she would put candy in the kids' mouth and they would guess what it was. She went to the first little boy and put a Hershey's Kiss in his mouth.

"Can you guess what it is?"

"I don't know," said the boy.

"I'll give you a hint. It's something your daddy asks your mommy for every morning."

The girl next to the boy says "Don't eat it. It's a piece of ass!"

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.

The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"

The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"

The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse''s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse''s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse''s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.

While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.

Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."

These are actual messages people have on their answering machines. I'd like to know how they came up with these:

These are actual posters, billboards, or signs that have been seen somewhere in the world. They're worded wrong and it looks as if they can be taken two different ways.

A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: Do not activate with wet hands.

At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment.

At A Laundry Shop: How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory? 

At a Music Store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.

At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.

At a Towing Company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.

At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.

Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.

Door of a plastic surgeon’s office: Hello. May we pick your nose?

Gym: Merry Fitness and a Happy New Rear!

In a Beauty Shop: Dye now!

In a cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

In a dentist office: Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.

In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.

In a dry cleaner's emporium: Drop your pants here.

In a farmer’s field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but be aware that the bull charges.

In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.

In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness.

In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

In a Los Angeles clothing store: Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.

In a Maine restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.

In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

In a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car

In a toilet: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

In an office: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

On a plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed.

On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.

Outside a muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We heard you coming.

Outside a radiator repair shop: Best place in town to take a leak.

Outside a second-hand store: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.

The following phrases are what people say right before they die, whether it be in movies or in real life:

I can pass this guy.
My brakes are fine.
Nice doggy.
I think it's trying to communicate...
"Homicidal Tendencies"?
"Na, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."
"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...".
"Don't touch the red button!"
Gee, that's a cute tattoo.
It's fireproof.
What does this button do?
So, you're a cannibal.
Are you sure the power is off?
Pull the pin and count to what?

Noo these windows are ok to lean on.
Don’t worry it has airbags.
Hey what’s that buzzing noise?
Don’t worry its not that deep.
No, he doesn’t bite.
Hey look! A light at the end of the tunnel.
This doesn't taste right.
I can make this light before it changes
I can do that with my eyes closed
look ma! no hands!
Hey that's not a violin.
Don't be so superstitious.

Which wire was I supposed to cut?
I wonder where the mother bear is.
I've seen this done on TV.
These are the good kind of mushrooms…
I'll hold it and you light the fuse.

Don't worry, I'm sure it's dead by now.

Let's split up, we'll cover more ground.
I dunno, press the button and find out.
Hello, is anyone home?
Oops.
Don't worry, it's not contagious.
Awright, let's see, how do we work this thing?
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
He can't hear us, he's miles away
I'll be right back.
I'm sure this isn't the poisonous kind.
Don't worry, we outnumber them.
Hey, what the hell??!
I'm sure it's just the wind.
Of course it's safe!
No, this tribe is peaceful!

No, I'm sure they cleaned out this mine field years ago.
Safety harness?
Wait, I thought he was with you!
Hey, what's this switch?
Don't move, you'll trip the sensors.

No, this cannot be, I am invincible!
So, you're sure this isn't loaded?
Calm down, of course I disarmed it!
Well, it can't get any worse!
C'mon! This CAN'T be the self-destruct button. If it was, they wouldn't leave it lying around like this where anyone could push it!
Don't worry, they'll never find us in here!
William, is that you?
They can't hit us at this range!
All you have to do is connect these two wires.
There's only one way to find out...
Hey, when it comes to driving on snow and ice, I'm the best there is.
These pills are awfully small.. I'll take a few more to be sure they work.
Stupid safety labels...
No, no, these are safe, I've seen birds eat them all the time.
Watch, I'll prove it!
Blast off!
Nah, they're blanks.
Speaking of lost, where are we?
Wheeeeeeeeee!
I know this great shortcut we can take.
Is that what I think it is?
For God's sake, Kris, it was just a cheesecake
No, no, no, let me fix it!

Some of these may not be very funny to you, but I thought some of them were just too stupid:lol: