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twilightlullaby Blog

bonus scene!

hey gang! that is if there is even a gang around here anymore, I dont know. this is like one of those extra-bonus footage pieces that they show after movies sometimes.

I was kind of feeling nostalgic, if you can feel nostalgic for something thats just a bunch of pixels and lousy programming, for this blog the other day. I guess that kind of comes with the territory of growing up or whatever. like, all my friends for pretty much ever have been older than I have, so this is probably old news (no pun, I think?) to them, but its freaking terrifying sometimes.

the snow is falling outside my window which is nice. I hope that it'll snow so much I won't have to go to church tomorrow. religion is something I have problems with/doubts about sometimes, and I guess it might not be a legitimate thing to have problems with but that's where I am at the moment. if I stopped going to church, it'd cause more problems that I don't feel like dealing with right now, so I just go. I could skip b/c the church we used to go to wasn't good enough for my parents (my siblings had no friends there, in essence and blablabla, boring things commence ici) so they go somewhere else, but it's a temporary solution to what is right now a permanent problem.

and that was deeply personal. I haven't told anyone this because who would understand but it's nice to just solidify stuff I've been thinking about for a while.

I suppose this blog will hearken back to the old days where I wrote paragraphs upon paragraphs about the mundane events of my life. yeah!

lately life has been okay. when I was talking to my librarian at school, she told me not to get senioritis, and I told her, "oh no, it's not in the traditional sense. I'm more tired of the social aspect." which is true. I get along with a lot of people, which sounds arrogant and is weird to think about, but I don't have anyone I'm close to. in essence, I'm kind of a mystery! which is good.

I've been accepted to some colleges (with money) and that's nice but someone tried to belittle one of the places I got into. "oh, everyone's going there." yeah so? doesn't mean that it's some kind of pod-people type-deal. it's an alright school and I got some good opportunities there (honors program + leadership-style thing) and if I wanted to take it, so what? it doesn't make me less. education, I really believe, is what you make of it. yes, it is good to do well and get good grades, but I think that a love of what you learn is important. and wow it just got cheesy here.

but that's that.

I kind of just needed to write something just because + it's very quiet here these days which is nice for just rambling and having a place to keep said ramble. I might do this in the future, I dunno. who knows what's going to happen?

I don't.

cancelled, due to rain

I'm not sure if gamespot will let me post this blog, 'cuz I've been getting errors like crazy as of late, but here it goes.

I've been on this site for about four years. I guess it's not really long in real world time (the length of high school- HA), but it's more time then I've ever spent on any site ever.

It's time to leave. A ton of people I know are leaving/have left, so this isn't news to them, but for the people who are still hanging around and stuff, see you all later! I'll probably still log in from time to time because there's just so much of my life written down (from messages to blogs) here, but yeah. I hate leaving loose ends, so I think this basically ties it up.

later!

updates and junk

ahh summer.

things have been going very well, so I thought I'd sit down and write about it all.

I'm off to the beach tomorrow (again!) because I love the beach. My mom has friends who are basically like family, and they told her to "come down anytime." so that's going to be cool. I guess it's kind of weird, but I really love the water. I miss my old beach sometimes. A lot of the time.

earlier this week, I was hanging out in Quebec doing various things. I caught part of the summer festival, and the (free) concerts that I watched parts of were pretty cool. Dan Mangan (!) was playing...the day after we left. He's one of those guys I think would be really cool to see live. It was kind of funny because the night of his show, I played one of his CDs and pretended I was there. :lol: I'm kind of a dork, I know.

It's nice to be feeling happy and stuff. It makes me laugh now, but I spent a lot of summers kind of angry or upset. Reading my old journals (of which there are quite a few) is hilarious and also kind of sad. A lot of things I thought were important really aren't now. I guess that sounds stupid! My priorities are kind of shifting in general, but that's a later point.

AP scores arrived in the mail yesterday, so Facebook lit up with the thousand "I did so well on the exams" status updates. Usually the people who get fives are the ones who talk about it. I mean, gosh, I wasn't bragging about my one in calculus. I should have! but the moment has passed. everyone in my AP chem cIass had their score delayed (it's a good story!). I suppose some people really care about it, but the "*93- Your score has been delayed and will arrive as soon as possible" just made me laugh.

I always feel that because I'm so young in comparison to most of the people I get along with on this site, talking about problems and stuff feels silly. That was a problem for me, in the beginning, because I always had the experience of people not wanting to be my friend anymore because I'd say "oh yeah I'm thirteen and you're sixteen." this was mostly a real-life thing though. I guess if people were that shallow, I wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway. Of course, I didn't realize that at the time. but I'm just babbling.

they, meaning the elephants in charge, already set a date for graduation, 'cuz, you know, I'm graduating next year. the thought makes me feel a little creeped out, but I have ten months! that's plenty of time to hatch some kind of devious plot or something. I mean, I'm going to be a morning announcement person (or so I've heard). on video. "ten o'clock with twilight." I'll keep you all updated on that.

in news of gaming, I beat Okami (only took me a year!) and...that's it. My goal of beating no games will have to wait until next year.

hope you all are having lovely summers! later!

Summer Hiatus

Television shows take a break for the summer. Now, so is twilightlullaby (trademark). I am breaking my usual trend of discussing exciting topics such as cute boys at picnics and Tabasco sauce and choosing to just not write anything.

I'm not leaving. It's a pause or whatever in the usual programming. Gamespot is kind of annoying right now, like a demonic mixture of Facebook and Twitter, but I can deal with it. The decision of the yearbook staff at my school to incorporate Twitter into this year's yearbook irritates me to no end. I like the idea of Twitter, but my peers abuse it like pixie sticks at a child beauty pageant.

Excessive use of similies aside, things are okay right now, I guess. This girl called me fat today, which was ironic for reasons I won't mention. I ran locker-clean-out for undercIassmen because everyone at my school is horribly wasteful and throws away brand new binders and dividers (sucky grammar ftw). I collected all those school supplies, with some help, and now they are sitting a huge pile in the guidance office. Not that anyone cares: most people just laugh at me and call me trash girl, which is not a cute nickname. It's actually really mean. BUT! The supplies are going to help people and I think that's wonderful. Related: out of the one hundred or so NHS members, only one signed up to help me. zing.

and I didn't run for student government. it's a long story. Did I talk about this already?

On the bright side, I have thirty-ish tomato plants. Does anyone want one?

I found my copy of Okami, after having lost it for about a year. It makes me both happy and sad.

See you all next fall. ?

social butterlifes

Fifteen-minute blog! TYPOS ABOUND. AND GRAMMAR/SPELLING MISTAKES

-at the dance everyone talks about, my friend came up to me and was like, "I knew it was you because no one else flails around the dance floor like you do."

-on the style of dancing: "there's more grinding going on than the meatpacking district in the 1920's!"

-this guy at the after-party (read: people lying around on couches playing "truth or dare." a. had the best responses: "here are my truths. I'm white. I'm a vegan.") summed up my feelings on going out, "you know usually I'm a stay at home and play xbox kind of guy."

-my favorite picture was the one I took of the floor, but a close second was the picture of my friends...and me off to the side pretending to drink from a pint glass. Most people have pictures with their hot date. Me, well, I don't even get my drink. lllame.

-things are kind of panicky and busy right now, so I think I'm going to keep GS activity on the DL for a while..at least until the 19th of May. I already know that half of my exams are going to suck, badly, but I'm at least going to try.

-in ape lang, there is an expansive plan, pioneered by yours truly, to find everyone's Lord of the Rings counterpart. English has traditionally been the cIass in which I start stuff like that. That's where my Twitter account began. English cIass with Ms. O. All the things I couldn't say in cIass- BAM. Nothing obscene, obviously, just my weird observations on life.

-two minutes left.

-John Green! I haven't talked about John Green in this blog, at least not that I can remember, and that is sad! I don't even know where to begin and in thinking about it all, I've gone over my time limit. One word: nerdfighters. Also May 6th. Google it! (and read Paper Towns- it's my favorite book of his! This freshman in my cIass read it and enjoyed it, so there is maybe hope for my brother's graduating cIass.)

-today I realized that I had 500 text messages to send to anyone EACH MONTH. what a wonderful surprise.

-also, student government. I'm going for both cIass and school-wide. maybe it's going to be too much, but I miss the crazy world of student politics. It's mostly the popular kids, but hopefully I can shatter that mold with my artfully styled hair and unusual fashion statements! All lies (read: high school movies) are rooted in a small grain of truth or something like that. I have a chance.

I was going to include a shameless plug for some kind of social media platform that I use, but I am ten minutes overtime and I should be doing something productive, like...memorizing carbon compounds.

Later!

What if Pottermore Sorts Me in the Wrong House?

(to be honest, the song wasn't my fav. the chorus is catchy though! too catchy.)

I was kind of late to catching onto the news that Pottermore was open to the general public (too lazy for trying to catch the beta invites, please) because that's how I roll.

This is kind of a ramble-y sort of blog- I honestly think it would have worked better as a video, but alas! I washed my hair in the morning (as opposed to the night) and people liked it, so that quickly became a limiting factor. Also I couldn't find the communal camera.

Anyway, Pottermore. The name makes me cringe just a little bit, as well as the mandatory username policy. yuck. It's like my username is for a seven-year old girl which I guess is maybe appropriate considering that I sound like one.

I didn't really get anywhere yesterday, 'cuz I had my working face on, but I reached a couple of important milestones today.

(by a couple I mean two. but still. I was really excited about it.)

Choosing a wand!

I had to buy all my school supplies first- my animal is a black cat. So cute. :3

The quiz for wand-choosing is kind of random. I couldn't remember my eye color (in sixth grade my teacher made fun of me for not knowing), and I wasn't sure about my height- aside from that, it was okay.

I was a little disappointed by the results (everyone wants the special wand! , but I think that it suits me, overall.

also it cost like...20 galleons. my conversions (knuts to sickles, sickles to galleons and all that) for wizarding money still suck, so I'll get back to you on that later.

The Sorting Hat!

This was what I was really excited about. I always wondered what house I would be placed in, but I never trusted the seven million online quizzes that are out there. My best guess was Ravenclaw because I liked studying and stuff. Also, Luna Lovegood is pretty cool. I wish I had radish earrings like her.

but you know, I just felt sort of uncertain about where I belonged.

It's going to sound extremely nerdy when I say this...but I was freaking out when I was taking the Sorting Hat quiz (everything important seems to be determined by a quiz; however I have made little to no progress overall SO this is subject to change maybe). My stomach was doing these weird little flips and I was really nervous. Where did I belong? Would I be...a Hufflepuff (jk, they're not half-bad)?

I finished the quiz and...well, I ended up as...

SLYTHERIN

haha! I was pretty psyched about it. I still am.

I've seen a couple of people I know complaining about their results ("I'm a Gryffindor, this sucks," is just one example), but I think that you should just stay with where you were put, you know? Distribution among the Houses is pretty even, for the most part, and making a new account, to me, seems a little...I dunno.

But that's just me.

anyway, I'm sure talking about this is pretty boring, so I'll be quiet. :lol: One last thing, though, if anyone is on the site, hit me up with a friend request! I'm LumosMoonstone25890 (pretty awesome, I know) and yeeah.

--

aside from all that excitement, my life has been pretty normal-ish lately. I helped out with a clothing drive on Friday, which was really fun. My job, or what I ended up doing the most, was organizing all of the shoes. It's so weird to see how many nice things people just give away! This one person donated two pairs of shoes in the same size in the same style. This other pair of shoes was pretty much brand new! The lady in charge said we could take anything we'd like, since it was like a swap and share type deal, so I ended up with a nice skirt that my mom wants to steal.

my counselor sat me down today to have a nice talk about colleges and college planning and transcripts- yikes. My cIass rank is kind of lame-ish, but I'm in the top twenty percent. not that it really matters or anything.

My friend who bought me a chicken sandwich from a couple of blogs ago is having (rather her brother is planning) a surprise party on Saturday- and I have no idea what to get her! I'm thinking hand soap (literal hands (of soap)- my mom has some that a friend gave her) or something creepy like that...but I'm the worst with birthdays. any ideas? or not?

I'm kind of starting to embrace the weird character that I am. I guess that sounds like a stupid thing to say, but it's something that I've always struggled with (ending sentences with prepositions is another). But it's only a kind of sort of thing- nothing really "oh I am happy with who I am." because I still think I suck. that's not an attention grab- just how I feel, for real.

Honesty is not something I do a lot in real life, at least not about myself. Subjects in school, yeah, but not me. no wayy.

and that is the end of the minor emotional segment. It's been real, folks.

so many sentences beginning with "I"! yuck! the weather's been lovely today.

also, comment response is kind of hit-or-miss. sorry about that. I just feel like most of my replies end up being loser-ish. So I scrap them.

I really just wanted to be excited about Pottermore.

off to intergrate some three-dimensional figures~ later!

(I've also been leveling up my party in Final Fantasy III. that fire dragon. gets me every time.)

(what a text block. how are you all doing?)

Spring cleaning

Today in cIass, the student government president tried to get us all not to write this timed essay (because we had a sub, blablabla boring backstory). I thought it might be kind of fun, but someone started writing one, so that idea was over before it began. And then she called the entire cIass a synonym for cats. I'm glad we have people with such strong integrity and kind character taking care of student government! Warms my heart!

Spring break is in less than a day and counting, and I'm pumped! I get to go to the beach, far, far, far away from the wilds of the North, and get some sun and maybe hang out with total strangers. Fun fact: I like strangers despite having a somewhat irrational fear of people. My pa was going to take me to do some of that there college visiting, but no more. I can just skip some school (it's actual smiled upon by the authorities as long as you have proper papers and the like) sometime next month and go visit then instead.

Then there is prom. I have been shanghaied into being a part of the "thing." The sponsor is my favorite teacher (nerd alert!), and my co-partner in crime is this guy that I sometimes get along with (aside from his perpetual sass and drama and his views on dating a girl who is obviously in love with him, "She's a grade below." Yup, really robbing the cradle with that potential relationship.), so it'll be an adventure. Prom talk is driving me crazy though, so I'll stop. example: girl: "my boyfriend doesn't like the dress I'm wearing." girl1:"girl, just wear the dress you want to wear. what a jerk!" guy: "If my boyfriend didn't like my dress, I'd cry."

Next month is also a surprise partner for maybe my only possible friend in school(I don't have friends- I just know a lot of people on a really superficial level. well not really. I try to listen to people, but people generally ignore me. Because I'm a freak.). She bought me lunch today!! I had bread and a creepy chicken sandwich and Sunny-D. I don't really know why we get along this year because we didn't last year, but somehow we are unlikely pals. My label is "the genius kid from beyond." It's a mystery to me.

Here is another mystery: this girl has been coming up to me while I've been waiting for the bus and talking to me. It really freaks me out. The other day she was like, "I saw the Hunger Games. Did you see the Hunger Games? My mom took me and my friends." And then today it was my lunchbox (Pikachu). I don't know her! Where is she from? What is her purpose?

Things in general are okay, I guess.

EDIT: my next major plan for this blog thing is a new header. and maybe a video segment before summer, where I leave. For good.

Later.

Don't look back!

SO.

(this is the blog of the exclamation mark! yes! it's true! it's also weirdly intense for some reason. hmm.)

as I type the latest installment in my life story (you know, these blogs are an excellent way of keeping track of my progress and growth. It's weird.), the effects from the time-change are starting to kick in.

I don't know why it is so difficult to move an hour forward...but it is.

My love/hate relationship with chemistry has returned! Once again, my teacher reverts to the old "you all are a bunch of lazy unmotivated bums I hate you all go die in a fiery pit" mentality. I don't mean to slam teachers because I'm sure teaching is difficult! but, oh, I don't know, it's just demoralizing.

Speaking of demoralizing, my brother! Man! He always seems to follow me everywhere. Most siblings who ride my bus realize that their sibling needs some room. Not my brother. I try to be nice because I know how difficult starting high school can be. I. KNOW. science fair, and chemistry, and so much angst, and funerals- it's great fun!

I only write about these things because it's what I know. It's my life.

This girl missed my bus the other day when it was leaving the school, but, in a show of endurance, raced across the parking lot to catch it at an intersection. It was like something out of a movie.

The SAT was on Saturday and boy, oh, boy, it was just like a movie! My proctor was really great (she was what my French teacher should be like- je deteste la classe de francais parce que mon professeur est tres mal. si je parlerais meilluer francais...ajdsflk) and weird. I can't talk about the test because the SAT police might get me, but it wasn't bad! I'm sure I got a zero out of zero!

When I actually think about it, there's not a whole lot of school left until freedom. jk, my parents are dragging the whole family out on a westward expansion type deal. It's not a joke! I wish it was. My dad is trying to bribe me into getting more exciting by saying we'll visit my old friend from second grade (he was rich! I was not rich! we went to private school! sometimes we email!), but nothing will persuade me to go.

Everyone at school is into twitter now, but I beat them all to it. :P I've had a twitter since last year in English when I jokingly told a friend, "hey, I'm gonna make a twitter of all the smart-alecky things I say in cIass." it's pretty stupid, but it's nice for just saying short and random things. I haven't shared my handle with anyone, 'cuz it's pretty honest, but that's okay.

On the weekends, I pretty much wake up and watch Adventure Time. I think the latter seasons are better than the earlier ones in some respects. The season three finale was great! If only more shows could end like that.

Oh and COMMUNITY is back this week! I'm so excited!

Then I've been watching Lord of the Rings Extended Edition. I'm not really sure how I find the time to watch so much television, but I basically have no life right now, so I suppose it kind of makes sense. I don't know if watching LotR has been the best idea, though, because last night I dreamed that I had the Ring and I was trying to run away from the Nazgul and they always found me. It was terrible.

I also dreamnt that I overslept but obviously that didn't happen.

The weather continues to be nice. It's like early summer.

well, this was stupid!

later!

cancelled due to lack of interest

I always feel better when I dress nicely. My oba-chan always says, "look good, feel good." I've never been a fan of jeans because they never fit right and the minute I break them in, they mysteriously get dirty. :x This probably is the NOT appropriate place to talk about clothing (it's a gaming website, for goodness sake), but I've just been thinking about this sort of thing lately.

mprezzy wrote this blog about remembering things and it reminded me of stuff, so I'm kind of stealing his idea right now.

(this makes me feel so nostalgic. so much.)

the best years of my kid years were when I was in the third/fourth grade, right before middle school. I had just moved to Maryland, and it was a whole new world for me to explore (having lived in Florida for the past two or so years). There was a trail that wrapped around the neighborhood I lived in for a while, and it became a place for me to act out, with the little boy who lived down the road a ways, adventures with wargs and goblins and spirits of the woods. Bikes became horses, a little sister became a princess to be protected, and playgrounds became towns to stop in along the way.

It was a golden age for friends too, as I met my two constant partners-in-crime this year (we all wouldn't become really good friends until...probably the start of high school!). In some ways this is embarassing to admit, but I was homeschooled on and off (which always made it hard for me to fit in; public school kids think you're some freaky-deek religious nutjob that's totally sheltered and homeschool kids view you as "liberal" and "secular."). During fourth grade, there was this group of eight kids, four girls and four guys. We were all the best of friends. We all got taught science and history in this tiny trailer by a rotation of our various mothers. There are some pictures of us all standing on this playground and it's just so cute. But things aren't the same now, really. Three of the guys still get along really well- the one who was chubby and nerdy-looking became really hot (I liked him a lot when I was little, even though the other girls were like "ew are you weird." then he moved and came back, changed. it's a long story.). The other guy is doing okay; we're enemies. One of the girls is a total bad word, one is absorbed in trying to make the grade for the STEM program (along with dealing with her family), one is always getting into trouble with guys and is about to get kicked out, and then there's me.

oh how things have changed.

I kind of wish we had all stayed friends but you know. It's just the nature of life. They tore down the building (and a good part of the woods) that we used to play around. It's not the same anymore, anyway. Things are just really different now.

Plus I live in a new place! Everyone is always talking about "do you remember this from middle school? oh hahaha yes! you wouldn't know about this twilight because YOU WEREN'T THERE" and sometimes its kind of sad.

everyone is expecting me to be more adult-like and mature...but I've always been responsible, ever since I was little. even my parents are like, "yeah, we can't claim credit for a lot of your behaviors (etiquette and stuff like that)." I guess that comes off in a bad light, but I dunno.

I kind of want to be a little kid again! I'm tired of everyone treating high school like serious business because it really isn't! I mean, yeah, it's important to do well, but it's not a matter of life and death. If we get a 94 instead of a 100 on a lab, it's not the end of the world. I get frustrated with people at school because they don't really have perspective on things. I guess that it could be argued that I only say these things because I am only -this- or -that- or -theother- but whatever. These are just my opinions. Nothing much, really.

you know what describes virginia really well? Fleet Foxes. especially this song. I mean, I just look outside sometimes and I think, "fleet foxes."

on an unrelated note, we listen to country music in advanced PE. country music is not my fave, to say the least, but it's better than the other stuff. anyway, there's this one song about camouflage...and that is all that needs to be said. CAMOUFLAGE.

it's nice to hear the sound of trains outside. the weather's been very spring-y lately. We didn't even have a proper winter...

ALSO THE LAST STORY HAS A NA RELEASE. finally! I've been excited about this game for I don't even know how long.

Baccano reminds me of the Great Gatsby. I do not know why.

that is all.

all gummed up inside

(I apologize for the general incoherent-ness of this blog. it doesn't really make sense to me and I wrote it. so that says something. I think.)

Today I was sitting outside, because it was a lovely day (well, it used to be), practicing some nice island-ly, summery songs on a stringed instrument that shall not be named. I live right next to a road, so it's kind of like having an audience whenever someone drives by (albeit one that generally is not paying attention to me- which is fine). Anyway, I hear some horn honk and lo-and-behold, the driver of this car slows down, gives me a thumbs-up and then speeds off. Direct eye-contact, man, direct eye contact.

Such is the nature of my life.

Nothing productive was accomplished today- no tutoring, no homework, no nothing. Thankfully it is a three-day weekend, so I have Monday to try and make up for lost time. My teachers are cracking down harder, to compensate for the general slacking that occurs in second semester. I don't care, really. It feels like it's all just a big waste of time. I like learning, but I'm not a fan of the educational system. But like I said, it's all whatever.

This blog is kind of degenerating into one of those "weekly serial" type deals where the same things happen with the same characters in the same settings with the same plot twists. I hate it.

I've just been pretty bummed out this week. It's not because of Valentine's Day because I realized that it's stupid to get hung up over something like that. anyway, someone gave me fun dip and this girl I know gave me a cookie, so it was all good. food is good.

my counselor is pressuring me to take 7 ap courses next year. my parents are not really doing anything. I'm trying to get along with them better (noo year resolution). It's going alright. but my brother has been treating me kind of poorly lately. it sort of hurts because I'm trying to be nice (talking to him at school, etc.) to him. and he is just a jerk. but my parents think he is a perfect gentlemen. that is just such bs I don't even know.

but life is going alright. I guess. it's just kind of all the same after a couple of weeks.

on a nicer topic...I downloaded Ghost Trick but alas! I have not updated my iPod software for over a year...and it is incompatible. I tried to download the new patch, but my internet is out to get me, as always. One day. one day.

I have also found a new political entity to affliate myself with: The Earl of Lemongrab

UNACCEPTABLE

I like watching the State of the Union as is...but I would love to see him give one. Oh man. His voice...

"THIS COUNTRY IS IN UNACCEPTABLE CONDITION. UNACCEPTABLE." :lol:

I guess that's all. I could talk about other things, but eh.

later.