I am a Christian, but I think it's time my fellow man know one of the dark secrets of Christianity - Vampirism. You see, fifteen years ago it was revealed to the Catholic Church publically what was already known privately to many of its top members - that Christianity was created by Dracula as a means of securing a food supply.
This was revealed by the vampire Mishra, who was taken to Dracula for punishment. In a rare show of compassion, Dracula forgave Mishra, but his message still remains. This message was never spread, but it is irrefutable proof that Jesus of Nazareth was actually Dracula.
I'm not here to argue that today though, I'm just curious, how will this knowledge, the scientific fact that Jesus was Dracula, change your attitude towards Christianity?
For me, it changed nothing, I feel there are good moral lessons in Christianity that benefit society, even if the original purpose was to turn people into sheep. Sheep make a better society than wolves!
Some people may not have heard of my beliefs before, so I thought I should explain them properly before you read the rest of the post. I'm not trying to insult Christians, I just want to provide an explanation of some alternate beliefs.
True Vampires, by Sonra London link "she spans the corridors of time to unearth vampiric themes throughout history, such as Jesus' admonition to his disciples to eat of his flesh and drink of his blood" Vampires or Gods? by William Meyers
link "Dracul and Dracula introduced Catholicism to Wallachia; the Order of the Dragon promised eternal life to those nobles who would forcibly convert their subjects to Catholicism. Dracula did not claim to be a God. Very likely only a few immortals find that convenient. Instead he went on to be a powerful figure in the Catholic Church, largely responsible for its successful Inquisition in Spain and the conquest of the New World. Rumors abound that to this day he lives in the Vatican and acts as an adviser to the Popes."
- The evidence is even more interesting, you see, Anne Rice, famous Vampire Novelist, recently returned to Catholicism. Many in my faith believe she stumbled upon the recently-revealed vampire ties of the Catholics. In essence, her belief in vampires led her to discover the religion of the vampires - Christianity. link
It's more interesting that this though! You see, VAMPIRES and CHRISTIANITY have long been related, as recently as novels such as TWILIGHT, or as far back as the occult teachings of christianity prior to Constantine. - - I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to prove the existence of my own personal church, we don't have a website, and we don't allow people off the street to just wander in. You wouldn't ask that of a Christian, for them to prove they're a Christian, which is why I feel like you've created a double-standard Someone claiming to be a Christian can spout off whatever they want, and because you personally know of Christianity, that's okay, but when I discuss my personal religion, one that's less publicly known, I get questioned? I took a picture of one of our bottles of wine we use for communion (we are of Camilla, not Dracula, but that's tough to explain until you've been attending service for a few years, think of it like "catholic vs protestant", I guess ). http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/8216/camillafv3.jpg
I'm not asking you to believe in my beliefs, I'm just asking for the right to express them equally as you would give any other religion. Lots of religions claim crazy things - Judaism claims that a man won a wrestling match with God, for example, but that doesn't mean they aren't sincere beliefs. I found a good blog kind of explaining it:
link
You see, thoughts like these are what lead to the realization that JESUS must be a VAMPIRE, however Mishra, 15 years ago, well, he was the one who confirmed it. My church itself actually would prefer we didn't make the message public, because of persecution from Christians.
Throughout this message I will be discussing three vampires known to humans as "Dracula", "Camilla", and "Constantine". These are not the true names of these three vampire lords, however it is forbidden for humans to know their real names. As such, I hope you will accept the falsehood.
Further, I will be discussing events chronicled in the black library of the Ordo Sanguinis Camilla - unfortunately these materials are also forbidden from human eyes. The great tomes of old, bound in human skin, written in the blood of the ancients, cannot be gazed upon by mortal eyes. This is not just a lord's decree, but a biological fact, the researchers we allowed access to our great library all perished, driven to madness by the knowledge within.
However, given the terrible damage we have inflicted upon your society, we feel we owe you an apology for the vampires worst creation - Christianity. Allow me to explain.
The one you call "Jesus of Nazareth" was actually the vampire you known in legend as Dracula. His "virgin birth" and other such miracles were possible because of his vampiric powers. Rising from the "Dead" is, of course, no trouble for Dracula, as this was one of his abilities.
But why?
Christianity was created as a means of turning people into sheep. Needing a compliant food supply, Dracula wished to use religion as a means of control. A servant of Dracula, the vampire Constantine, would later turn the religion into law. Once we recognize that the purpose of Christianity was to create a complaint populace, its quirks begin to make more sense.
For example, the ritual of communion - drinking blood and eating flesh - holy acts? It makes sense when you realize that Dracula was creating a mass of ready food creatures.
-
But what about modern Christianity, is it still run by vampires? No. Vampires took over the medical community, including the Red Cross, as soon as possible to ensure a far more reliable supply. While these organizations still have "vampires within" the majority of the clans have withdrawn.
Christianity, as we now know it, is the remains of a fairy tale created by vampires.
Vampire_Prophet_Mishra
What do you think of this? Is the fact that Jesus of Nazareth was actually Dracula going to change your faith? Do you feel that the moral lessons of Christianity are more important than its founding?
Log in to comment