Here's more random thoughts via poem form for those who weren't as depressed as I thought they'd be.

Disturbing Comparisons

Blades cut through flesh,

like scissors cut paper.

Tormented mind struggles,

like a constipated old man.

Pain so intense

like the first fall that brought blood.

Nuesia and dizziness

like too many drinks.

The floor rushing forward

like the drop of a roller coaster.

Drowning and confused

like the first unwanted trip underwater.

Surrounding darkness

like passing out.

Body goes cold,

like pork chops in the freezer.

Another dead kid,

Just like the ones before...

My Reality

Reality is my enemy I've come to find

The very moment I left childish things behind

I've grown into a world where dreams are forbidden

Yet in my mind is where I stay hidden

Away from the cruel concepts of this earth

Is where my mind can truly give birth

Imagination juices flow like the Waterfall of Thought

Where I can recollect what I've been taught.

There is nothing but tranquility

within the walls of my mind where it's just me.

I'd rather live alone in my mind

Than deal with the ever pressing issue of time.

I don't like the game of life

Because no one wins and no ones right.

My mind has become my reality.

Feel free to come visit me.

Night

There are crickets and birds chirping to the right.

The sun is slowly withdrawing out of sight.

The sky is purple, orange and blue.

and slowly the bright stars come to view.

The beauty of night has the world surrounded

as if wrapping a blanket of darkness around it.

Trees whisper the news that the wind tells,

and crunches from leaves that fell.

The air is crisp and sharp,

like the edge of a blade or point of a dart.

The bushes begin to rustle with life

no doubt from the creatures of the night.

Why do we sleep at such a beautiful time?

For night listens to no bells chime.

This next one is...umm...explicit. So just keep scrolling down if ur not into that... :oops:

I'm Not Bad, I'm Just Drawn That Way

I can smack it, flip it and rub it down
can you handle this ass now

You say you love me. Full of sh!t
you just want me to suck your d!ck

Twisting turning shifting gears
it's so good you shed tears

Boring snoring horrible sex
I told you you weren't ready yet

Freaky nasty get the ice cream
10 bucks says you can't outlast me

Make me take me I'm all yours
and for the record I'm not a whore

Say my name scream in pain
all your efforts are not in vain

Hugs and kisses call me mistress
just keep wifey out our business

Love me tender love me rough
cuz I know you can't get enough

Kiss me here, rub me there
just don't dare touch my hair!!

If I Should Die Before I Wake

If I should die before I awaken,

I pray this poem is seriously taken.

I see death around the corner

I'm pretty sure who he's coming for.

He opens double doors and I gasp at what I see.

its a type of paradise thats waiting just for me.

Despite this beautiful place I feel empty inside.

Thinking of all the people that I just left behind.

All the things I should've said that never passed my lips.

and all the broken things that I long since should have fixed

The emptiness inside me grows and turns into pain.

The kind of pain that spreads and eventually eats up my brain.

Then all of a sudden I open my eyes to see my bedroom.

It was a dream; a warning of my eventual doom.

Relief began to plague my essence,

but in truth I wanted nothing more than to feel someones presence.

Just know that I thought of you when I opened my eyes

and that you were my comfort after seeing a hellish paradise

Heavenly Flowers

I'm a sarcastic, pessimistic statistic

Suffering from chronic depression, paranoia and road rage.

I trust nothing with a heartbeat

Or a soul that doesn't match mine.

I'm young but age is irrelevant to wisdom.

I have what is known as an old soul

And eyes that can pierce your very being,

But I'm not all seeing.

I enjoy being wrong sometimes

Simply because it reinforces my assumption that there is intelligent life somewhere

on this planet.

I'm out of this world.

Things that run through my mind will make anyone nervous.

Yet, I only exist to provoke thought.

So if I can get you to say 'hmm'

Thank Heaven for its deeply rooted flower.

A black rose

That goes by the name Leilani.

I've got some more somewhere. I'll look later. Thank you.

Minnie and Charlotte wanted me to post my poems so here they are. Let me know what you think.

Love-Hate Hate-Love

Loving to hate and hating to love;

the cursed cycle sent from above.

Indecisive emotions have me at a loss,

and leave me confused after our paths cross.

Funny how sh!t goes after truth is revealed.

and secrets long held are no longer concealed.

I pierced my heart and bled secrets for your affection,

hoping our relationship will be my sole protection

Yet your reaction to the truth was hurtful and cold.

How could you hurt me after statements so bold?

A black hole has appeared where my heart was placed.

Forget I exist and have memories erased.

For I love you, I hate you

and I can't live with our without you.

Parting is Never Sweet

I promised to be there whenever you're in need,

And when you call me I'll come running at lightening speed.

I gave advice and taught you things while learning myself.

You share a part of my heart that's for no one else.

Yet it pains me when I see you withdraw from me

I can hear the pain in your voice when you talk to me.

I thought you were past this but I can see I was wrong.

I was too busy convincing myself while you were hurt all along.

Your stronger than you think cuz people see it in you

This is painful for me too but this is what I gotta do.

Please don't hate me forever, I couldn't sleep at night.

Knowing my kid sister is struggling just wouldn't seem right.

We know reality and we know that life is rough.

But I consider you my blood cause water wasn't thick enough.

You're my sister no matter how far we're apart.

And know that where I go I'm taking you in my heart.

We Should Be Alright

The pain is far from subsiding

and now I shed tears I can't keep from hiding.

Shame weighs down my chest

certain that you will love me less.

Avoiding your eyes, I ask your forgiveness

knowing I'm not worthy of your mercy and unselfishness.

Fresh tears stream down my face

as I yearn for your embrace.

Lifting my chin, you look me in my eyes

and it's as if you've read my mind.

You wrap your arms around me and hold me tight.

Letting me know we're going to be alright.

You softly whisper "I've missed you so much."

I'm sure God is in you because of your healing touch.

You kiss my lips and I think it's a dream.

What have I done, I don't deserve this angel in front of me.

One Mind

One mind, one thought...

One beat, one song...

One punch, one fight...

One gun, one war...

One country, one world...

One pain, one tear...

One student, one cl.ass..

One prophet, one God...

One page, one book...

One love, one peace...

One truth, one lie...

One life, one death...

And all of this from...

ONE MIND

Meaning many things

Can come from one mind

And one thought.

So one mind has many thoughts.

Many beats in one song.

Bunches of punches in one fight.

Many guns in one war.

Hundreds of countries in one world.

Streams of tears in one pain.

Many students in one cl.ass

Several prophets sent from one God.

Many pages in one book.

One love spreads peace.

One truth destroys all lies.

Many lives saved by one death.

And all of this from...

Deadly Addiction

I'm addicted to the pain

associated with the rain.

I'm addicted to the tears

brought to light by my fears.

I'm addicted to my blood,

that flows like a flood.

I realize now that I'm addicted to death,

as I inhale my last breath.

I have a lot more but let's see how you handle these first. And congrats to anyone whos not depressed. :lol:

Ya know, for me to be feeling so crappy I sure am blogging a lot. As some may know, I have a myspace. (which I check every other week). I've blogged on there and I must say, I'm a deep thinker. Thought I'd share some thoughts with you.

Oh and Heather, now my be the time to put the cup, bottle or can down. That goes for the rest of you too. ;)

RANDOM BABLINGS OF A CRAZY PERSON (this was after Christmas last year)

-Remember back when things made sense? You do? When was this? Where was I?

-I'm jealous of your ignorance. I wish I could be blissful too.

-Do not talk to me in riddles. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Or shut up.

-I'm addicted to pixels.

-The opposite of love is not hate, its fear. The opposite of hate is understanding.

-WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!!!

-I'm actually an alien sent from another planet to take over this world. I think I'm doing a bang up job, thank you very much.

-For all that is good and holy in this world, I AM NOT AN AFRICAN AMERICAN!! I'm not from Africa, don't wanna visit Africa, ain't thought about 'going to the motherland'. My mother was born in Oklahoma.

-I listen to music that doesn't come from this country. Just know that music from the UK will one day rule the world.

-Seriously, what and who you do in your bedroom is your buisness. I don't need to know ANY details cuz I sure as hell didn't ask.

-The definition of insane is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results each time. A lot of you are insane.

-I'm not insane. I'm unstable.

-I miss you more than you may think.

-I've come to find that one of my favorite authors has never written a book.

-Kate Bush's music video for Running Up That Hill scared the crap outta me. Look it up on YouTube. You'll see what I mean.

-2007 was the year of pain, love and raised eyebrows.

-I might offend some people but no one is reading this anyway. :lol:

-Your not hard unless you have pictures of yourself in the bathroom. Who takes a picture of themselves after they (hopefully) wash their hands from takin a sh!t and thinks 'PHOTO OP'!!! What is wrong with you people? No really, I wanna know.

-Tell me why I want a Sega Genesis!! I'm serious.

-Its one thing to lie to me, but don't lie to yourself.

-Its not our enemies that hurt us, its the ones we love.

-Unconditional love is conditional. Don't let anyone tell you different.

-I hate it when we fight, but I love it when you make it up to me. YAY CHOCOLATE!!

-I used to get gifts for Christmas.

-We can be good friends, not best friends. (Only one person is gonna get this)

-Trust is one of the first steps to love.

-Believe it or not, there are people out there that are just like me. I'm just intimidated by them. Irony rules.

-'I GOT BLISTERS ON ME FINGERS!!!' -Stewie Griffin

-Why have 'Hip-Hop' dances gotten easier and easier? Maybe for all the obese kids. Its not fun if someone has an asthma attack tryin' to be cool. There is no risk in dying if you 'lean and rock with it'.

-I think I love you. I am so SCREWED!!

-Without the sword, a ninja is nothing. You are not worthy. Sims fans know what I'm talking about.

-I don't believe in divorce. However, I do believe in murder.

A Joyful Time of Year (Christmas time '06)

The suicide and homicide rates go up dramatically this time of year every year.

I hate going anywhere because (apparently) buying Christmas presents is more important than getting in a car accident.

I want a shotgun for Christmas just for kicks when I open it in front of my mom.

Have you ever noticed that when someone gets a crappy gift people always say, "Its the thought that counts"?

I almost got trampled by a mother and her 10 kids because little Susan wants to ask 'Ol St. Nick' for a f*ckin pony and Timmy wants a Naruto action figure with the kung fu grip. F*ck your pony and f*ck Naruto.

Rules of the road don't count during the holidays. And if you do follow them people think your a pansy.

If you blew up a Wal-mart supercenter at 10pm this time of year, you would have killed a person from every family in that town/city.

What is the American Christmas anyway? Hell whats the American dream for that matter?

If you switch the words around in Santa you end up with Satan...or Natsa or Asatn or Atnas. Whichever you like best.

Whoever thinks Santa Claus is real raise your hand.....If your hand is up you just failed in life. Congratulations

All I want for Christmas is for you to recieve crappy presents so that you can laugh while you say 'Its the thought that counts'.

Merry Christmas and a Decent New Year

Maybe If I Died You'd Take Me Seriously (July last year. My dad got married two days after this)

-If one more person asks me if I'm ok with my dad getting married, they're getting shot. Period

-My friends have become my enemies.

-I'm afraid that if I kill someone, I won't feel any remorse.

-How can you tell me you love me but turn your back on me when I need you the most?

-I'll gladly bleed to be freed of greed.

-You played me and I allowed it to happen. Worst of all, I forgave you. Bra-f*cking-vo.

-I doubt that you mean anything you say to me.

-If your gonna lie, lie like its the truth.

-Don't ask me for a ride unless you're going to give me gas money. My car does not run off the kindness that is buried deep within my heart. And if you do ask me it better be important like a doctors appointment. If you ask me for a ride to the mall or the movies(and your not buying my ticket) I will f*cking kill you. No discussion necessary.

-If one more motherf*cker calls me baby girl, you will see me on the news with witnesses talking about how I snapped and killed 50 people. Baby that sh!t. B!tches.

-I have a slap reflex. No really. I'm going to physical therapy to surpress it.

-Anyone who is hasty to say 'I love you' will betray you just as quickly.

-I'm sick of people pretending to give a damn.

-I get these urges.......to snap your neck.

-Ima throw a bullet at you but it'll look like I shot you with a shotgun.

- For all you people that have a problem with me calling myself 'LovelyLonelyLeilani', go suck some penis Its what I feel I am. It doesn't even affect you directly. Don't you have something better to do than give me sh!t about what I call myself?

-I refuse to live the life you wish you could've had. Stupid, egotistical, selfish son of a silly b!tch. Stop touching yourself from fantasizing about my possible future and get a life. Stay the f*ck outta mine. If I want your opinion, believe me, I'll ask. DOT COM.

-Someone kill me before I do it my damn self.

-If you are offended by what I have to say or you feel like I'm talking about you, its because I am and you should be offended. Maybe then you'll get YOUR sh!t together and stop cattin off.

I know, I have such a potty mouth. :D

I'll be missing for a while. I'll try to be on to discuss CSI and stuff like that but other than that: Later. I stole a quiz. Amuse yourselves.

01. Do you own a box full of receipts? more like a drawer
02. Is Dory your hero? No. Now ask me if she's awesome

03. Did you own a ponch, during the craze? no

04. Stripes or polka dots? neither

05. Do you like taking pictures of yourself? Hell no. I run from cameras
06. Are Irish or Australian accents better? I like both

07. Would you prefer to be eaten alive by Lions or Vultures? I would prefer to not be eaten

08. Muse or My Chemical Romance? MCR
09. Do you own any beads? I dont flash...

10. Hot pink or lime green? green. any form of pink makes me sick

11. Do you own your own mini library? used to

12. Are spin-tops cool? seeing as how I don't remember wat they are, no
13. Do you have a Seal called Pickles? No, but I do have a pickle named Seal

14. Do you prefer Dragons or Unicorns? Dragons..guardians to my lair

15. What the name of the little elephant in the Jungle Book? He doesn't have a name, they just call him son or Sonny
16. Do you have Green eyes? no
17. Do you have your lip pierced? no
18. Are snakes cool? Do birds fly?

19. Do you know where Cyrenaica is? Part of Libya I believe
20. Who plays the Emporer in the film Gladiator? Joaquin Phoenix..great movie
21. What's your favorite Disney film? I like all the Disney CLA SSICS. Not all this new sh!t
22. Tigger or Eeyore? I'm a strange mixture of both. SO both

23. Converse All Star or Vans? both
24. Did Amanda Burton star in Silent Witness or Waking the Dead? Silent Witness

25. Which Harry Potter actor/actresses do you prefer, Daniel Radcliffe or Rupert Grint or Tom Felton or Emma Watson? Emma. She was going to walk away from the films. That takes heart.

26. Are you a "Chav"? Thats like asking a German if they're a Whigger. WTF?

27. Do you agree that Clacton is "Chav" central? Who the flip is Clacton and why should i care

28. Have you ever watched Complete Savages on Nickelodeon? I stopped watching Nick when I was like ten, so no
29. Have you ever read The Old Kingdom series, by Garth Nix? no
30. Do you like the name Mohamed? No

31. Do you sleep with a comfort blanket/toy? Its actually a pillow

32. Do you think Dumbledore is actually dead? Do you bleed black blood?

33. Sid the Sloth rocks, yes or no? What are your thoughts on the subject...I'll wait
34. The Snorks or the Smurfs? Smurfs. After a while the Snorks just got irritating

35. Do you know anyone called Penelope? No

36. Dick Darstardly or Mutley? Mutley
37. Have you heard the theme tune to CSI: New York? Have you?

38. Do you often remember your dreams? Not all the time

39. Do you like Anime? Some...SAMURAI CHAMPLOO
40. Do you like Pokemon? For like ten minutes. I'm gonna start talking like them. Lani. Lanilanilani. Lei. Lanilei

41. Horror, Thriller, Romance or Comedy films? Horror is comedy

42. Have you ever been labeled a "Nerd"? No. I've been called a prude and a whore by the same person though. :lol: Me love Loki long time

43. Have you ever called someone a word that they don't wanna hear? He won't tell me wat it is. Freakin scrotum face

44. Are you a Myspace addict? no
45. Minnie or Mickey mouse? Mickey

46. Do you agree with Abortion? I don't get down with abortion

47. Do you have a favorite swear words, if so what? I love'em all. Damn and f*ck in particular

48. What's your favorite thing about yourself? My eyes cuz their huge!!
49. Money or Love? Love, I've been living with out money for a while now :)
50. Are you Bisexual? I can't stand girls.('cept you guys. you guys are okay) They're so dramatic...so NO
51. Favorite make-up product? I dont wear make up
52. Most recent, embarrassing moment? I swore at my sister in law over the phone and the whole family heard me cuz I was on speaker and I didnt know

53. OMFG! Murphy got shot! Do you care? I'm the one who shot Murphey

54. Do you support a football team? Raiders. Yes I know we suck

55. Do you know how to play Chess? a little

56. Do you like the film "Miss Congeniality 2"? Not as good as the first one

57. Do you like the "Whiskers, Oh So Fishy" Advert? I dont have a cat, so no
58. Do you reckon you have no friends? Reckon? Seriously?
59. You like Smirn Off Ice? No, I like Smirnoff Ice, b!tch. Spell it right.

60. Do you like the song "Everytime we touch" by Cascada? No. It makes me think about molestation. And who likes that? You do, you perv.

I stole a quiz from Jenne. Yeah I did it!! AND!...WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT!! HUH?!?! :LOL:

FILL IT IN - ABOUT YOU
write something between the "[ ]" to complete the sentance.

right now the time is [12:26.].

my name is [Leilani].

i live in the country of [US of A].

[Clo n Jenne] is my best friend and we met [here].

my first pet was a [dog] named [Smokey].

my hair is [thinning] and [I have no flippin idea why].

i was born in the [future and sent back through time].

i am taller than [Mom n sisters].

my eyes are [brown] and i [like to poke] them.

i wear [my face] everyday.

[Lion King] is one of my favorite movies.

i listen to [things that may scare you] music.

my birthday is in [Oktober] months.

i am [observant] around people.

my best friend would say i am [weird].

i [am not awake] when i first wake up.

right now i'm wearing a [clothes] and [thats all you need to know].

i [tend to shower] in the shower.

i graduate in the year [from the school of hard knocks in a month]

there is [a hungry black man] in my refridgerator right now.

my shoes are size [fit].

i own [several] hooded sweatshirts.

i wake up at [no scheduled time] to go to school or work.

i [two-step] dancing.

i am good at [knowing what someone is going to say before they say it].

i used to play with [toys] as a kid.

my favorite bands are [Linkin Park], [Evanescence] and [The Servant].

i went to [my granny's house] yesterday.

i'm feeling [sleepy] right now.

right now the time is [12:34].

Got some more songs for you guys (mostly for Jenne). Not too many, I swear ;)

In the Waiting Line and Destiny by Zero 7

Reverie and Wonder by Megan McCauley (I think thats how you spell her name)

Goodnight Moon by Shivaree

Told you guys it wasn't long ;)

Apparently, some people didn't like what I had to say about Destiny Cyrus. Hey, I'm just keeping it real. They probably won't like what I had to say about Meagan Good either. :lol::twisted::lol: Here's a quiz.

1. Full name: Leilani Blank Reed

2. Nicknames: LeiLei, Lani, Coleion, Capt, Pyrate Qween, Black Rose...etc

3. Shoe size: 6 1/2

4. Height: 5'4" (I'm little :oops: )

5. Hair: dark brown

6. Siblings: too many

7. Do you like to sing in the shower?: No, I bathe in the shower

8. Do you like to sing? : only when I'm alone. I prefer to not make people's ears bleed

9. Birthday: 10-14-88

10. Sign: Libra

11. Lefty or righty? Righty

12. shoes or sandals? shoes

13. Coke or Pepsi? Coke

14. What do you want in a relationship? Trust and a sense of humor

15. Have you ever cheated? Never have, never will

16. Marital status: not even close

"FAVOURITE" QUESTIONS:

17. Song (right now): Refer to my last blog

19. Movie(s): Death Proof

20. Number(s): 4

21. Card game? poker

22. Radio station? don't listen to the radio

23. Sports: Football

25. Food: a home cooked meal

26. TV show: all CSIs

27. Cartoon: Doug...throwback show ;)

28. Character(s): Speedle, Alexx, Horatio, Brass, Sofia, Sara, Catherine, Mac, Danny, Elliot, Phil and Lil, Jin, Mugen, Fu, Jack, House...I could go on

29. Color: black, blue, silver

30. Do you plan on having kids? sure why not. I'm all for creation

32. What's something you can't wait to say? 'Soft and quick as shadows we must be.'

33. Get married? sure

34. Would you have kids before marriage? no

35. You have a b/f or g/f? sort of but not really

QUESTIONS:

36. Do you have a crush: no

37. What hurts you the most? broken trust

38. Music/TV: Do I have to choose?

40. Green/Blue: blue

41. Pink/Purple: purple

42. Summer/Winter: winter

43. Night/Day: night

44. Hanging Out/Chillin: depends with who

45. Dopey/Funny: funny

46. You know I'm around when you hear: 'shake it like there's something on it'

47. What school do you go to? the one full of idiots, screw ups and people looking for a second chance

48. Do you enjoy what you do? Do you enjoy asking vague questions

49. What's a major turn on for you? quick wit

50. Who Are They? Huh?

51. Most blonde: Monkey Lady

52. Nicest: Jackie

53. Funniest: a Loki/Lani tagteam

54. Tallest: Loki

55. What's the worst thing a friend could do to you? Lie to your face when you already know the truth

56: How serious you are on a scale of one to ten? 5

OTHER RANDOM QUESTIONS:

59. What was the last thing you cried over or got teary about? a song I heard

60. What's something about guys/girls you don't get: why guys prefer hoes over a real woman

61. What do you want right now? if I knew that...

62. What's one thing you can't live without? my hands...I need to write, its my life source

63. Love or Lust: love, always

64. Silver or Gold: silver

65. Diamond or Pearl: diamonds are forever...:lol:

66. Sunset or sunrise: both. sunrise=new day and fresh start. sunset=rest

67. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? no

68. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no

69. Do you have any piercings? ears

70. What colour underpants are you wearing right now: I SHALL NOT FUEL YOUR FANTASIES!!

71. What song are you listening to right now? Lithium by Evanescence

72. What are the last 4 digits of your home phone: I'm not gonna say

73. Where would you want to go on your honeymoon: idk

74. Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? my love

75. What are some of the first things you notice about the opposite sex? hands

77. What's the next CD(s) you'll get? dunno

78. Do you wear contacts or glasses? neither

79. What was the best advice ever given to you? the best advice I've heard has always come from me

80. Do you like Funny or Scary movies better? scary...some funny isn't funny to some people

82. On the phone or in person? in person

83. Hugs or kisses? hugs

85. If you died tomorrow who would you leave everything you own to? split between Nels and Loki

86. Do you have any enemies? Several. They want me dead..BUT I'M STILL HERE!! Muahahahahaha

87. Who was the last person to hug you? Gramma

88. Would you rather be rich or famous? How about famous for being rich

89. What time is it in Albania now? I'm not in Albania, how would I know

91. Have you ever met Santa? Sorry to burst your bubble kids but...I killed him. Mrs. Claus is a bomb-diggidy cook though

92. Name something or someone pretty: a baby's giggle (yeah I'ma softy)

93. When did you last talk to the person that you like? just now

94. Do you have any pets? Do siblings count?

95. Who was the last person you danced with? Loki and Monkey Lady

96. Last time you were stressed: today

98. Who sent this to you: Well...see... I borrowed it without asking and without the intent of giving it back :D

99. What do you think of this person? WE'RE TOO COOL FOR WORDS ;)

100. Do you want people to send this back? If you wanna

I know, you're wondering what happened to 57 and 58. So, what happened to 'em Jenne? *taps foot* I'll wait...

I wrote this a long time ago and I felt the need to share.

The darkness within me has taken a physical form.

The color of which doesn't represent warmth.

The form of my darkness is as shameful

as it is beautiful.

Sprouting from the ground, a flower has grown.

A terribly lovely rose has shown.

The most treasured of flowers in the saddest of colors,

for black is not as vibrant as the others.

As lovely as it is, make no mistake.

Remember the conditions under which it was made.

Not touching this rose would probably be best,

for the thorns on its stem only long to pierce flesh.

But if left alone, no threat will it pose.

For the lovely, lonely Black Rose.

I am currently in the middle of writing and for some reason I up and felt like writing a blog. I have three unfinished poems that need my attention AND a fic that isn't even close to beig done...but tv.com keeps calling my name :lol:. And thats okay, because you guys make me smile. So yay you.

I've been told that my music collection is random, to which I reply 'No, really?!?!?' Random is, therefore I am. I'll wear it like badge of honor. But the list of songs I gave Jenne (I hoped you liked them) is mild compared to my actual playlist. But that would take way too long, we'll save that for a later date ;). These are the songs stuck in my head. Get some snacks, this may take a while...

Like You and Good Enough by Evanescence

Jack the Ripper, Body, Cells, Liquefy, How to Destroy a Relationship, and In a Public Place by The Servant

What Becomes of Us? and Into Nothing by Cinephile

Toxicty, Aerials and Spiders by System of a Down

Teardrop, Dissolved Girl, Angel and Black Milk by Massive Attack

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room, Somethings Missing and Gravity by John Mayer

Addicted and Maybe by Kelly Clarkson

Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles

Sparks, The Scientist, and Don't Panic by Coldplay

Stolen by Dashboard Confessional

All Round Me, Cassie, Red Sam and So I Thought by Flyleaf (great band by the way)

Apologize (not the Timbaland RMX) and Stop & Stare by One Republic

Hide & Seek by Imogen Heap

Lullaby, Close to Me and Pictures of You by The Cure

Mad World by Gary Jules (Not the Tears for Fears version)

Leave Out All the Rest and My December by Linkin Park

Savin' Me and Someday by Nickleback

and last but not least because I FREAKING LOVE THIS SONG!!!

Broken by Seeter feat. Amy Lee.

Good Stuff. I just realized that like two of you will even bother to look up half of this. Worthless blog? Possibly. Still Good Stuff 8).

ME BAD!! I stole a quiz from Claudia. :D Wanna see? Well here ya go.

STEP ONE : Spell your name with bands/artists:

L inkin Park

E vanescence

I mogen Heap

L ily Allen

A pril March

N ine Inch Nails

I ngrid Michaelson

STEP TWO :
-- The shoes you wore today : Air Forces

-- Your weaknesses : food...it's really sad

-- Your fears: spiders, my dad, Loki losing his mind

-- Your perfect pizza : Pepperoni from Round Table

-- Goal you'd like to achieve : be a stunt driver

STEP THREE :
-- Your best physical feature : eyes...their HUGE

-- Your bedtime : when I get sleepy

-- Most missed memory : I dont remember :lol:

STEP FOUR : This Or That...
-- Pepsi or Coke : Dr. Pepper

-- McDonalds or Burger King : BK

-- Adidas or Nike : Nike

-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea : I'd rather have water

-- Chocolate or Vanilla : CHOCOLATE

-- Cappuccino or Coffee : I'd rather had tea :lol:

STEP FIVE : Do You...
-- Smoke : not really

-- Sing : off key

-- Dance : yep

-- Take a shower everyday : sometimes twice a day. I forget

-- Have a crush : Its not a crush if he know :oops:

-- Think you've been in love : no

-- Want to go to college: I dont know

-- Like(d) high school : Some of it

-- Want to get married : yes

-- Get motion sickness : no

-- Think you're attractive : no

-- Think you're a health freak : :lol: you slay me

-- Get along with your parents : pretty well

-- Play an instrument : piano

STEP SIX : In the past month, have you...
-- Gone to the mall : no I avoid confrontation

-- Eaten Sushi : eewwww!! NO

-- Been on stage : Yea

-- Been dumped : no

-- Gone skating : no

-- Made homemade cookies : no

-- Gone Skinny dipping : don't you have to be skinny to do that? :lol:

-- Stolen anything : just hearts ;)

-- Played a sport : gaming is a sport right?

STEP SEVEN :
-- Age you hope to be married : 25-30

-- Numbers of Children : 3

-- Describe your dream wedding: as long as my relatives don't act up, we're good

STEP EIGHT : In the opposite sex...
-- Best eye color? : doesn't matter

-- Best hair color? : doesn't matter

-- Short hair or long hair? : short

-- Height : taller than me but not a giant

-- Best weight : dunno. As long as I can hug him real good

-- Best articles of clothing: socks...random right?

STEP NINE :
-- Number of people I could trust with my life : three

-- Number of CDs that I own : 10. Like Claudia I'm an mp3 person ;)

-- Number of tattoos : none yet

-- Number of piercings : just ears

NINE LASTS
--Last dollar spent: candy

--Last beverage: juice

--Last movie: Jumper

--Last phone call: LOKI!! Me love you long time ;)

--Last song played: London Calling

--Last thing you ate: tacos

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVER'S
--Have you ever dated a best friend: yea, that didn't work out too well. Never do that again

--Have you ever skinny dipped: no

--Have you ever lost someone you loved: yes :cry:

--Have you ever been dumped: cheat on? yes. dumped? no

--Have you ever been drunk and threw up: I didn't throw up :D

--Have you ever ran away: yes

--Have you ever wanted someone you thought you couldn't have then found out they liked you: yes...waaaaay later

SEVEN PLACES YOU WANNA VISIT
1. Rome

2. Venice

3. Australia

4. Japan

5. London

6. Greece

7. Barcelona

As two of you know, I am a godmama. Well not really but kinda. Until my services are needed (which I hope is NEVER) I will be refered to as Auntie. YAY ME!

Her name is Tamya. We call her Tam. I was holding her and I thought she was asleep. But when I look down at her one of her eyes is open and she's staring at me. I smiled at her and SHE SMILED BACK!! A real big smile too. Big gummy smile. Then she pooped on me in her sleep. That's just how Tam rolls: smile at you one minute and crap on you the next. :lol:

I've come to the conclusion that you can't help everyone because some people are beyond help. At least, beyond the help I can offer.

I miss my daddy. Random, I know. I just wish I could talk to him without being preached at. It gets irritating after a while. We used to just hang out and joke around but nowadays all he wants to do is tell me what to do with my life. Sadness.

I miss being a kid. Having to worry about homework and tests is easy compared to the huge leap into adulthood that I'm having to endure right now. I wish they taught a c.lass on how to grow up. That would be a heck of a lot more beneficial than Earth Science to me.

I NEED A FRIGGIN BETA!! Seriously, things have gotten crucial. Self has been beta-ing my stuff and she tends to miss things other people would catch. And Mini just doesn't care. *sigh* Self is just gonna have to keep trying 'til she gets it right because I will NOT do that beta thing on the site. Nope. Uh uh. My fics will just have to look like crap.

Still haven't finished my (older) sister's essay. I'm short 291 words. :lol: I should probably be doing that instead of this. But I'm tired and Self is in agreement with going to bed. And we rarely agree, so I'm not gonna pass this up. Later.

First off, I just wanna say that my 'love life' is freakin ridiculous. Seriously, irony stalks me in every aspect of my life, but when it comes to relationships, it has this unhealthy obsession.

I was dating this guy a while ago, we shall call him SAD (all caps for a reason). He tells me a week in the relationship that he SUPER likes someone else. So, me being the strange person that you all know me to be, was like 'what the hell are you dating me for. Go get her!' So we stayed friends or whatever and we still talked but this other girl was never brought up again.

Months go by and I run into my friend at this fast food resturant, we shall call her Rabbit. She asks me if I was dating SAD. I'm like 'used to'. Rabbit goes off on a tangent about how SAD confessed his love for her and when she said now was not a good time, he dissed her. I mean he dissed her REAL HARD. SAD wrote a rap about Rabbit and her ex-girlfriend (no thats not a typo) and put it on the internet. Mind you, I haven't heard it but the fact that he wrote it sounds really bad.

So I'm pretty upset about the whole thing. One, because I didn't know that my friend was the girl he was after, granted, I dont think he knew we were friends. Second, that his timing sucked. Rabbit got cheated on so that was a bad break up and out of the blue SAD confesses his love for her. Bad timing? Oh yes. Third, I'm mad that he wrote a friggin rap not only dissing Rabbit, but her ex-girlfriend too who had nothing to do with SAD's bada.ss timing. Fourth, I still talk to SAD. He doesn't know that I know all this. He's says Rabbit kicked him to the curb and did him wrong and blah blah blah. I want to punch him. Seriously. He's being a big crybaby.

But it gets better. SAD is or was dating this OTHER chick and he thinks she cheated on him. So he's depressed about all this and for some reason he thinks this is all bad karma for something be did WAY in the past.

I'm not done. I was his FIRST girlfriend EVER (at the age of 17)! Basically he's relationship retarded and this is his first 'heart break'. In a random way, I feel him. I am a heartbreak Veteran so I know where he's coming from but at the same time I wanna shake him and scream GET OVER IT!! There are plenty of decent girls out there if he would just stop his weeping and moaning! Does that make me insensitive? Nevermind don't answer that. Cuz I really don't care at this point. He's old enough to handle this like an adult. If I ran out and made a rap everytime I had my heart stomped on, I would have CDs.

ANYWAYS...I went to the grocery store today. Not a big deal to you but everytime I leave the house something really random happens. I kept bumping into this lady in the produce section and she was like 'I think I'm following you'. Not the creepiest thing I've ever heard from a stranger so I smile and keep going. This mom and her daughter are arguing over what to get for dinner. ('hamburger helper is borinnnnnnnng!' 'When you start cooking then you can pick what we eat.' )Idk maybe because I cook for my family, I was on the mom's side. Or maybe because the daughter wouldn't stop whinning! I wanted to throw a carton of milk at her. Where do these whiny people come from. So I leave that grocery store and go to another because their deli selection is AWESOME! I"m in there for two minutes when this chick in the next isle keeps on saying like. After a certain number of likes, I just begin to think you're too stupid to find something else to say. I got what I needed and got out of there before I yelled at someone.

I get home and check my FF.net account and I get these reviews basically saying: Cant wait for more!!!!!!

What part of "Complete" do these people not understand?!?! That last chapter was SUPER hard to write and now they want an encore? *Shrugs* I guess I have to write one more chapter. I'll do that later tonight...after I write my (older) sister's essay. The things I do for love...GAH!!