Today was my big brother's birthday and i realized just how much I love that crazy man. We had his birthday party in a park in Fairfield, which sucked because it was friggin windy. Allergies kicked everyones ass. Sneezing and coughing everywhere. But at least we all suffered together. The food was, well I'll feed the stereotype for once because its true. We had hella fried chicken. :lol:. With chips. And that was all. The side dish was cold beans and they weren't supposed to be cold. My gramma got lost on the way there and the beans suffered. Nothing really tasted all that awesome to where I was going to town like I usually would. I'm still hungry. Anyway, you guys think I'm goofy? You should see me with all my family. We should get our own tv show. I laughed all day. We're all crazy. No joke. I'm mild compared to them. And all of us together is...well...interesting.

I finally saw Juno today. I went back to my brothers apartment after the party. Good movie. I almost cried at the end but then I yawned, so the tears were gonna come one way or another *shrugs*.

JENNE FRIGGIN ROCKS! If you haven't read one of her fics, you need to. Seriously, this lady's got talent. Hard act to follow. My chapter sucks. I've written it like 4 times (2 different versions) and its still not as good as hers *sigh*.

What else...oh I'm gonna be in a play. Yay me. No I'm not being serious about being excited. Its hard. Lotsa lines. And its gonna be hard to have to play two completely different characters. Another downside is that we (the cast) took a break and now its hard to meet up to practice.

Well this blog turned out different than I intended. I'm still not done. Whats a blog without my random thoughts. You guys know the rules. ;)

-People only talk sh!t behind your back and then smile in your face because they fear you

-I don't understand people when they say they weren't expecting to get hurt while falling in love. What fall has ever felt good?

-My dad says he's not a consumer but a producer. Cute. But everyone is both, whether the product is positive or negative. I told him that and all he did was smile at me.

-I watched an old episode of CSI Miami last night. It has changed. Some bad. And I mean really bad. Some for the better. IDK but for some reason l liked it back when Horatio actually said more than two lines per scene.

-I fear that the people leaving our shows will look for other acting jobs only to be 'type cast'. I think they fear the same thing.

-I let you in and you caused havoc. So why do I not regret loving you?

-Trust me to trust me. Not because you think you'll hurt me if you don't.

-If love is a two-way street, why are we off roading?

-Even if you've stopped being in love with someone, you can never stop loving them.

-Since when did you give a damn about what people think of you?

-He's my best friend. I think if I give him anymore of me I'll lose myself.

-The "Catherine" to my "Grissom" ;)

-I can give you what you need, but not what you want

I think that's about it folks. I know, a lot to digest. But I wouldn't be fulfilling my purpose in life if I didn't make you think.

I dont have to post all my thoughts this time around, the letter to myself pretty much does all that.

-Comfort from an unlikely source is the best kind

-He may brighten your day, but he may also darken it

-No one can take your joy unless you let them

-Pain is the body's way of tell you there is something wrong. The same goes for emotions.

You all know I have a Self. Call her a conscience or whatever. I just call her Self. Anyway, some things happened today and she wrote me a letter. I know, you're thinking 'That's not possible blah blah blah'. Well she did. And i think you all need to know why I put up with her sometimes. (No I'm not crazy)

Dear Leilani,

It would be stupid to ask how you're doing. I already know. I know people you thought you can count on left you in the dust. I know that you feel like there is no coming back from this. The only people you can trust share the same blood and even they talk sh!t. But they got you're back through thick and thin. Think about what Pat did for you, so that you could do for someone else. That's love, on both your counts. That is why people manipulate you. You love hard and without boundaries. You would give them the world if they asked. All they would have to do is reach out their hand and take it. Because that is what you offer, that is what you give.

Now you feel like you're second best. Placed at the bottom, lying wounded from forked tongued lies and betrayal. Do you think they know what kind of power they have over you? Do you even know? I'm sure you know now. You can't even trust your own shadow, so why do you trust so easily? Don't try to answer that because if you knew the answer I wouldn't have to ask. You trust the people you'll never know more than those who you see everyday. You have it backwards, my love. I know you're tired of fixing things but some repairs need to be made. It's going to hurt and friendships may not make it. And if thats the case, you were never supposed to be friends with them anyway. You remember what dad used to say.

Don't you cry for them. They don't deserve your tears. Lift your head right now, they will not break you. You're stronger than this. They may not know, but we do. We've been through this before, this is nothing new. Suck. It. Up. This is a test. A test you cannot afford fail. So suck it up and keep it moving.

I would have thought you would have learned by now who loves you and who doesn't. Your naivety never ceases to amaze me. Faith in mankind has been rocked this time, hasn't it? You have done this to yourself. Pushing those who love you unconditionally away to make room for those you would have died for. Do you feel foolish? You should. But we're learning aren't we. This will never happen again, will it? No, it won't. You keep your heart in a place no one can find it. Keep up your walls and fight to the death for what rightfully belongs to you. Do you understand me? Good.

I'm the only one you can depend on now. We need each other. And we will not disappoint each other again. You lean on me, and I'll lean on you. We're all we have now. It's just us.

Your one and only,

Self

Sorry I haven't been around for awhile. Reality caught up with me. But that is a different blog ;). Do you know what time it is? No you don't...don't lie to me!!! Its quizzie time! *dances* Hey you...yea you right there. Do drinky no chokey. Got it? Good.

What is your name?: Leilani
Are you named after anyone?: not that I know of
What's your screename?: do I really have to say it
Would you name a child of yours after you?: What for?
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: No one
Your gender: female
Straight/Gay/bi: straight
Single?: at the moment
If not, do you want to be?: really?
Birth date: 10-14-1988
Your age: do the math
Age you act: sometimes I act 55, other times I act my age ;)
Age you wish you were: either older than 21 or younger than 18. Being in the middle sucks
Your height: 5'4"
Eye color: brown (and I'm soooooo cool with that)
Happy with it?: :lol: No not at all...
Hair color: black, brown, red and I have a blonde hair somewhere...
Happy with it?: I have every color so it's not like I can change it
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: right

Your living arrangement: with me mum
Your family: what about'em
Have any pets?: do the sibs count?
What's your job?: campaign staff
Piercings?: just ears
Tattoos?: none yet
Obsessions?: you. and only you. Oh baby oh baby
Addictions?: other than tv, video games, reading, writing and eating...none
Do you speak another language?: spanish
Have a favorite quote?: "Soft and quick as shadows we must be"
Do you have a webpage?: noooo
Do you live in the moment?: Sometimes
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: yes but not stupidity
Do you have any secrets?: who doesn't
Do you hate yourself?: sometimes
Do you like your handwriting?: :lol: Oh God no
Do you have any bad habits?: other than swearing, talking too fast when I'm angry, zoning out when I should be paying attention, blacking out when I'm mad and not eating healthy like I should?...none

What is the compliment you get from most people?: My dad tells me I'm pretty. He's required to tell me that
What's your biggest fear?: losing my mind
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: I'm fine being myself. SOmeone has to do it, why not me
Are you a loner?: I hang out with other loners, so no
What are your number 1 priorities in life?: take care of those who need me
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: No. I can't stand myself...(Not you Self. you're okay sometimes)
Are you a daredevil?: you'll know the answer to that after you've been in the car with me
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: I'm afraid I'll go psycho crazy. I hate too many things about myself to list
Are you passive or agressive?: both
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: my self confidence level could be a little higher
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: at times
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: whats life without regrets?
Do you think life has been good so far?: Seeing as how I'm still alive after all the dumb sh!t I've done and been through, life is pretty good
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: It sucks. Now get over it
What do you like the most about your body?: my eyes and hands
And least?: nose, lips, feet, thighs, stomach, hands (its a love hate relationship)
Do you think you are good looking?: not at all.
Are you confident?: nope
What is the fictional character you are most like?: Jin (Samurai Champloo)

Do You...

Smoke?: every blue moon
Do drgus?: not anymore
Read the newspaper?: this piece of crap they write here? No. Can we get some editors please?!?
Pray?: Not as much as I should
Go to church?: Not anymore
Sleep with stuffed animals?: no. I need room to move
Take walks in the rain?: Only with braids. other than that I get nappy :lol:
Talk to people even though you hate them?: I can't. I'll mess around and have a psycho moment and envision me killing them beautifully while they're talking to me.
Drive?: since I was twelve :D
Like to drive fast?: Ooooooohhhh yeah.

Would or Have You Ever...

Liked your voice?: I sound like a woman child
Hurt yourself?: on purpose and on accident
Been out of the country?: Rome, Amsterdam, Landstul, K-town...I'd say yes
Been in love?: no
Had a medical emergency?: Blue baby. Mom tried to kill me!!! :lol:
Had surgery?: nope
Ran away from home?: twice
Played strip poker?: I don't think you can call it strip poker
Gotten beaten up?: once
Beaten someone up?: several times
Been picked on?: my whole childhood
Been on stage?: yes
Slept outdoors?: Call me spoiled, but I like beds
Thought about suicide?: everyday
Pulled an all nighter?: who hasn't when its crunch time?
If yes, what is your record?: Hours:15 Time: around 8:30ish in the morning
Gone one day without food?: fasting
Talked on the phone all night?: yes. I fell asleep on him cuz he wouldn't hang up
Slept all day?: yep
Killed someone?: not yet..I mean, no. :D
Made out with a stranger?: No.
Had sex with a stranger?: Yes. Becasue sex is all I think about. :roll:
Thought you're going crazy?: :lol: you're not ready
Kissed the same sex?: yes. becasue chicks are soooooo sexy. Oh baby oh baby
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: who hasn't? :lol: I should be serious now*ahem* no
Been betrayed?: yes
Broken the law?: ...yes
Met a famous person?: Yep
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: No. But my pet duck did die in my hands *sniffle* I MISS YOU!!
On purpose?: No. What do you think I am? a potential murderer? Don't answer that...
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: No
Stolen anything?: hearts ;)
Been on radio/tv?: not that I know of
Been in a mosh-pit?: yes, and then I got in a fight
Had a nervous breakdown?: once a month
Bungee jumped?: me and my people + ropes= bad times
Had a dream that kept coming back?: :lol: Yes. CSI dreams are flippin hilarious

Beliefs...

Belive in life on other planets?: I don't really know
Miracles?: yes
Astrology?: :lol: no
Magic?: no
God?: yes
Satan?:yes
Santa?: I told you before, I killed him and Mrs. Claus is a bombdiggidy cook
Ghosts?: no. Spirits? yes. Is there a differance? Yes
Love at first sight?: No
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: Not the ying yang part, but good vs bad, yes
Witches?: no
Easter bunny?: F*CK!!
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: I do (see what I did there) :lol:
Do you wish on stars?: :lol: What am I? Stupid? No.

Friends...

Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: Yes
Who is your best friend?: I don't really have one. I do have good friends though
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: Loki
Thing you're picked on most about?: my eyes and my handwriting
Who's your longest known friend?: Nelly Belly!!
Newest?: Ummm...Eric, I think
Shyest?: I don't have shy friends.
Funniest?: Loki, hands down
Sweetest?: Loki because he keeps getting bit :lol:
Weirdest?: All of you. No joke. I love you guys though
Smartest?: Mich. Flippin genius
Ditziest?: I don't have ditzy friends
Friends you miss being close to the most?: Terrance (shut up Loki)
Last person you talked to online?: Loki
Who do you talk to most online?: you guys
Who are you on the phone with most?: Loki (you seem to be everywhere)

Who do you trust most?: no one
Who listens to your problems?: you..yea you. right there. You...no behind you..Yeah right there, you. You do ;)
Who do you fight most with?: Loki but it always ends in 'are we having an argument'?
Who's the nicest?: Clo...momma!
Who's on your ****.: Do you mean sh!tlist? That list is too long

Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: yes. Because all day I dream about sex. Its all I think about. Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex..sexy sex sex sex
Who's your second family?: my homies :lol: (I got homies too Jenne)
Do you always feel understood?: :lol: If I did, I wouldn't have to resort to find people like me online
Who's the loudest friend?: Loki
Do you trust others easily?: no
Who's house were you last at?: me mum's
Do your friends know you?: They know what I want them to know :twisted:
Friend that lives farthest away: Lottie, she checked*cough*nerd*cough* :D (Me love you long tme)

Love and All That...

Do you consider love a mistake?: no
What do you find romantic?: I don't know
Turn-on?: I dont get 'turned on' perv
Turn-off?: don't you have to be turned on to be turned off?
First kiss?: sloppy but oh so sweet
If someone you had no interest in had interest in dating you how would you feel?: Real bad.
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them: No. Cuz I only date strangers. What, you don't? WTF kind of question is that?!?!
Have you ever wished it was more socially acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out: Sure, but I like to be chased. Call me old fashion if you like
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: Yes. He was really sweet. I should call him...
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: No, but I know someone who would refute that ;)
What is best about the opposite sex?: THEY'RE NOT EMOTIONAL ALL THE D@MN TIME!!! OMG I love that!
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: they just don't get it sometimes
What's the last present someone gave you?: dinero
Are you in love?: :oops: Not in it, but i do
Do you consider your significant other hot?: I dont have an S.O., not really

Who Was the Last Person...

That haunted you?: What kind of question

You wanted to kill?: my mother...I know, i know. Bad me
That you laughed at?: Lottie
That laughed at you?: Loki
That turned you on?: We've already been through this...
You went shopping with?: Shopping? Monkey Lady
That broke your heart?: we don't say his name

To disappoint you?: we don't have that much time to list them all
To ask you out?: :oops: It
To make you cry?: my mother
To brighten up your day?: :oops: It :D
That you thought about?: It :D
You saw a movie with?: Loki and Monkey Lady
You talked to on the phone?: MonkeyLady
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: Umm, Loki?
You saw?: :lol: Loki
You lost?: :cry: My Uncle Sammy. He was my homie even though I was a kid when he died

Right This Moment...

Are you going out?: Sure at 3 in te morning

Will it be with your significant other?: yes. we're gonna have sex cuz thats all I think about :roll:

Or some random person?: *sigh* these stupid questions are .....so damn stupid
What are you wearing right now?: I SHALL NOT FULE YOUR FANTASIES!!
Body part you're touching right now: wouldn't you like to know :lol:

Notice how I was serious 'til the middle. I do that all the time...What is that about? *shrugs*

*Hangs head in shame* I know I said I was going to wait until the end of the week to post my thoughts, but there are too many things floating in my head right now. You'll get another one on Friday, I can promise you that. You can drink to this one. This is one of my more serious blogs.

-I like David Caruso's work in 'King of New York' more than in CSI:Miami.

-Why haven't you all spread the word on this whole White Rabbit Conspiracy? Hm? We need to be prepared people! The world is not ready.

-My best friend's parents forgot her birthday. What kind of f*cked up world do we live in where parents forget their child's birthday? Oh wait...we live in this one.

-I have a playlist for just about every emotion. Give me an emotion and I'll give you at least three songs.

-Give me a reason to love you -Portishead

-Clo: look up the lyrics to Flyleaf's 'All Around Me'. What do you think they're talking about?

-I laugh to keep from crying.

-If I have never made you laugh, ever, why are we still friends

-Being a writer is my plan B. Now all I need is a plan A

-I swear more when I write than when I speak

-Life and death are in the power of the tongue ;)

-He made my day better..again

-Berries and cream berries and cream!

-Forgive me for being insensitive, but if you can't breathe without air, why the hell are you singing?

-And don't love someone that much to the point where you can't breathe without them. Its never that serious.

-I miss my dad. I just can't bring myself to call him back

-My mother has lost her ever loving mind.

-Life is not fair. Who said it would be? Get over it.

-Stand By Me is one of my favorite movies. Is that a problem for you?

-Metacomprehension. Maybe a few of you know what I'm talking about. If not, that is another lesson

-I love him and I told him so. I'm glad he knows, just in case I never see him again

-Why is everyone from my graduating cl.ass having babies? Are they the new craze. An infant with some crocs is very sty.lish this season...WTF? I guess everyone is allergic to latex.

-I would give you the world. All you have to do is ask.

-Sometimes I feel like a motherless child...and then I think about Kiki and Mama Kim and Clo. Then I start laughing my head off.

-I have the goofiest brother and nephew on the planet! And I wouldn't trade them for anything

-Loki is mine. All mine. No you can't have any... :lol: I play Loki, I play :P

-There are no age limits when it comes to wisdom

-Send me. I'll go ;)

-If I were in Star Wars, I'd be a Sith. Not because I'm 'evil'. But because the Jedi wanted to keep the force balanced, therefore, holding themselves back from the possible power hidden inside of them. Don't hate the Sith for bettering themselves

-The main goal of a Sith apprentice is to kill their master. This marks the end of their training.

-Ignorance better be blissful with all the idiots roaming around here.

-What am I supposed to be doing right now?

-I'm not afraid of commitment. I don't have trust issues. I am afraid that I might say 'I do' to the wrong person.

-I don't wanna be a b!tch, but being nice to @ssholes isn't working out either.

-True or false: I am shy when I first meet people?

-I've seen A Scanner Darkly and if you're not high as a kite, you won't get it

-Horatio and I like to watch CSI:NY on Wednesdays and CSI on Thursdays. After that, I'm Speedle's for the rest of the week. What? There's enough me to go around :lol:

-I drive crazy. I push the limit and I stay in control. Stunt driver anyone?

-Something is wrong with me. There is a piece of my heart missing and I keep trying to fill it with things that just can't compensate

-I gotz big eyes :oops: Ask Lottie, Heather, Claudia or Loki. They've seen a pic of me.

-I have a Myspace, Livejournal and a facebook. I also have a tv.com account and a fanfic account. I am officially ....a fangirl *hangs head in shame*

-The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had - Gary Jules (originally Tears for Fears)

-I have a Dictionary of Justice. Horatio has his Sunglasses of Justice. Whats your *blank* of Justice?

-When I love, I love for good.

-When I'm serious people think I'm joking. When I'm joking, people think I'm serious. I don't know what to do anymore...

This is probably one of the longest blogs I've ever done like this.

I stole a quiz from DeanW8r... you'll see why Im weirded out in a minute

Directions: Put your iPod playlist on shuffle, click NEXT for each question. The song that comes up is the answer.

What will next year hold in store for me? London calling by The Clash(Trip anyone)

What does my love life look like? Comatose by Cinphile (so true)

What do I say when life gets hard? Close to Me by The Cure(WTF)

What song will you I dance to at my wedding? Pictures of You by The Cure(depressed I am)

What do I want as my career? Ice Box by Omarion(again WTF)

My favorite saying? Outside by Staind(um...okay)

What do I think of my parents? Five Man Army by Massive Attack(okay...)

Where would I go on a first date? Addicted by kelly Clarkson(on the first date huh? I'm doomed)

Drug of choice? Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap(that sounds like a bombass drug)

Describe myself.? Crazy by Gnarls Barkley(no bullsh!t, I love this song)

What is the thing I like doing the most? Somewhere by Within Temptation(I like finding people?)

The song that best describes the president? Never Too Late by Three Days Grace(WTF!)

How will I die? Pure Morning by Placebo(again WTF?)

The song that'll be played at my funeral? Biro by The Sevant(dammit)

The song you'll put as the subject? Stolen by Dashboard Confessional(how fitting)

If you don't know by now...

01. What was the last thing you ate? I dont remember
02. What shirt did you wear last tuesday? probably clothes. I'm not sure
03. What's your biggest pet peeve? stupid questions.
04. How are you wearing your hair right now? down
05. Do you normally wear it this way? if I freakin feel like it. Are you gonna stop me
06. Why are you wearing it this way, now? Why do you need to know
07. Do you like the food from your school's cafeteria? I don't trust it
08. Do you eat it, or do you bring your own lunch? I don't eat
09. If you bring it, what does your lunchbox look like? Who the flip has a lunchbox my age?
10. Have you ever been to Nebraska? Nope
11. Do you like it there? Sure. Why not
12. Describe your best friend from fourth grade in one sentence: MANIPULATIVE B!TCH!!
13. How frequently do you use Photobucket? every once and a while
14. Which did you have first: A Myspace or a Xanga? myspace, unfortunately
15. Which do you like better? neither 16. How often do you do surveys? sure
17. Do you make them? I wish I was that creative
18. When was the last time you took a bath? Years ago
19. A shower? 10 minutes ago
20. Do you favor baths or showers more? showers. baths are like marinating in your own juices
21. Do you like to read? yes ma'am
22. What was the last book you checked out from the library? 1984
23. Was it good? yes
24. Who's your favorite Author? foxdvd...oh you mean books...
25. What colour are your mom's eyes? brown
26. What colour is your dad's hair? black
27. Are you wearing any jewelery? My rings
28. What's your favourite Disney movie? High School Musical...:lol:
29. Was that your favorite when you were a little kid? Yes. abso-freakin-lutely
30. When was the last time you took a walk? Last night

So as some of you may know, me and Jenne are working on a fic together. Its an LV/Miami crossover. Whoop for Miami fans, sadness for Miami haters. :lol: Jenne, the first chapter is all you my dear ;)

I got in 'trouble' for helping out a friend. I thought if I explained the situtation to my mom, she would understand. No, not at all. Now she's mad at me and won't let my friends come over without her home. But, whatever I guess.

As summer approaches, there will be a change in parental units. I feel the need to share this, it could save someone's life. Parents start acting up 'round this time of year and it won't let up until fall. If your parents have one or more of these signs, you sadly have what Loki and I like to call 'Summer Parents':

-They get mad at you for doing your chores without being asked

-They make up random tasks for you to do to keep you busy (ex: clean the garage, mow the freshly cut lawn etc)

-they ask you to write out goals for yourself for the course of ten years (it happened to me)

-permenant frowning

-getting mad at you for sleeping in til 10 (when your out of school)

I think you guys get the picture. i'm sure I'm forgetting somethings. Loki, remind me. But just nod and smile and do what they want. Its all you can do really. Unless you're into getting yelled at and threatened to get kicked out.

Happy hunting. ;)

Hello friend/reader. I'm not happy. I'm losing my mind. There is trouble in my circle of friends, but I am not at liberty to talk about that so openly. Another problem is that my uncle freakin moved in with us out the blue. That's right. The recession has hit my family. Fortunatly, it has not hit me and my home. I'm grateful for that. At the same time, THIS MAN IS DRIVING ME INSANE!! This is not a flop house where you can come and go as you please. So for my uncle to call the house at 10pm like its 4 pm is not okay. People have to work in the morning and we don't do house phone calls after 9pm. Does he know that? Yes. Does he care? No. I'm ranting right now lets get to the meat shall we? No drinking.

-There are so many was to kill a human being, and I can't make up my mind

-Unless you threaten someone's life, they will not listen

-Just because you're yelling, it doesn't mean you're right

-If you make me question my logic, you get a cookie

-I know what I believe and i will not be swayed. So keep your cultish mumbo jumbo to yourself

-Your face smells like toothpaste

-No child should be SUPER awake at 7:30 am. It has to be a rule somewhere in the Bible against it. THERE JUST HAS TO BE!!

-I have allergies and they are kickin my ass

-I make people 'aw' and I think thats hilarious

-Emo does not exist. It is a figment of your imagination

-I have a myspace and a facebook. For some reason I like both.

-I'm better at dialouge than description. Thank you Jenne for helping me realize that ;)

-Clo is my online 'mother'. Its a compliment!!

-I know better, but I do it anyway

-Kleptos will burn in hell

-Loving you is the worst thing that could have happened to me

-Apparently Loki's definition of fun is the activity and not the interaction. Silly me. (You know I still luh you though)

-I'm debating whether i should go to church or not. :lol:

-I will burn this city to the ground if anything happens to my nephew. Keep your eyes on the news. I'll bet money the story will go international

-It was right in my grasp and I let it go. What the hell was I thinking?

-I wanna hold you high and steal your pain -Broken

-Movies are the best sources of musical inspiration

-I would never steal from you..Now if your boyfriend wants me and not you, well...

-Listen to 'Goodnight Moon' by Shivaree if you want ideas for a bombass self made security system

-OMG! Don't try to start a debate over why or why not I listen to an artist. If I don't like their music, I DON'T LIKE THEIR F*CKING MUSIC. Suck it up and get over it! (uncle came at me stupid just now!)

-Take a piece of me

-Look I'm sorry someone did you wrog. Truly I am. BUT WTF DO YU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT! I can't solve your every problem

-Why do men drench themselves in cologne? Newsflash: She doesn't have allergies, your cologne is suffocating her

-He brightens my sh!tty day

-If she wants to disown us as a family, let her. But I'm not going to take the initiative to be her friend on myspace just because we're cousins. She can go suck a pen15 for all i care.

-I've come to the conclusion that I'm way too nice to people. That is going to change here in a minute.

-Love me for who I am, not for what you want me to be

-Push me and I WILL push back. That is a promise.

We're going to do things a little different this time around. You'll get your laughs, no worries. Yes I will be talking about church. No, I'm not going to preach. If you know how I get down, you know I don't like to insult anyone...at least those that don't deserve it. So just chill out. In most cases I would say "Grab some snacks this could be a while" but that could cause choking. You should know by now not to drink when reading my blogs. Consider yourself warned...

WAL-MART

Let it be known that I hated Wal-Mart with a passion that burns deep within my soul. I've never hated anything more except Satan and the Bush administration more than Walmart. That said, let me tell you why. When one first asks for an application, they hand you paperwork for section 8 AND welfare. Off top that should tell people that they're not going to earn enough money to make ends meet. Wal-Mart sucks the life out of little 'Mom and Pop' shops by taking all the buisness. Towns have gone broke because of Wal-Mart. All this is just from one angle. Let me show you the other. They have low prices. Thats great for the buyers, but does anyone think about what it takes to make the prices so low? no you don't? Never thought about it before? Think about it now. Google "walmart documentary" and you'll know what I mean. I'm getting off topic.

I went to Wal-Mart today. A friend of mine wanted to get some slippers yesterday so we took them back. As a rule no one is to go to Wal-Mart alone, not because its not safe, but so that we can keep each other from killing someone. People have no manners. They turn corners so vicious and don't care if they hit someone. I coulda snatched some woman's soul cuz she almost hit not just me and my friend BUT two little kids. AND to top it off, she looked at all of us like it was our fault! You know me well enough to know that I can keep my cool in most situations but I almost lost it. But we don't have time to lose it in Wal-Mart, so we kept it moving. Did I mention Wal_Mart customer service gets fisted? Because it does!! WHY are there only two...females working the customer service returns in a building bigger than some government buildings? ANYWAY...my friend and I waited in line to return the slippers because they were too small, right? Right. These two...*deep breath*...females keep looking at us. Most times I can brush something like that off with a joke like 'I know I'm sexy but its not that serious'. Not this time. These...females looked at us like we owed them money!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!! I was going to say something, but my friend chose to ignore, so I did too. I'm trying to change. Really i am, but these people keep messing with me. Which leads me to...

CHURCH

I could go on forever about the people at my church who claim to be...we're not going to go there. I'm just going to make a list of things that shouldn't be done at church AND another list of things you shouldn't ask people at church. You all know how I like lists :lol:

What not to ask:

1. Are you and your boyfriend having sex? (didn't happen to me, someone else)

2. Will you go out with me? (COME ON PEOPLE!!)

3. How big is your *fill in sex organ here*?

4. Why are you dressed like that?

And last but not least, my favorite: 5. Are you a lesbian?

No worries 2 and 3 were asked by teenagers. What bothers me, honestly, are the rest. I understand wanting your child to stay chaste but don't ask at church. Especially if the child your asking isn't even your own. I wore some comfy jeans and a hoodie to church for the mid-week cl asses and some one asked me 4. I wanted to say "BE GLAD I'M HERE AND NOT CAUSING HAVOC IN OUR FAIR CITY" but I didn't. It's called restraint and i amaze myself sometimes when I use it. 5, well...my best friend (who I consider to be a little sister), her mom asked her if I was a lesbian. I thought it was funny. I hate girls waaaaay too much to be a lesbian (like I've said before, you guys are fine:D). Keep in mind all this crap happened in one year.

Things that should not be done:

1. Making out in the parking lot

2. Going to the church just so that you can 'comfort' the widowed pastor (our attendance went down after he got married, I kid you not)

3. After the pastor gets married, you go after the 'next best thing' (which just so happened to be my dad. But no worries, he married a good woman)

4. 'Leaning and rocking wit it' during praise and worship (I've never thought of slapping someone so vicious before)

5. Talking about...masterbation during service.

The youth at my church are f*cked up so many ways. And they wonder why I don't go to church there anymore. Its laughable.

WHITE RABBITS

You thought I was done with the White Rabbits didn't you? I thought they were done with me. Let's recap for those who don't know about the White Rabbit conspiracy, shall we?

1. The Matrix. Morpheus: Follow the white rabbit.

2. My 'nieces' toy white rabbit from Mickey Ds

3. White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane (1 2 and 3 all happened in one day.)

4. Philisophical Alice in Wonderland conversation

5. Easter. the question: Where the flip did the idea of a egg-laying white rabbit come from?

6. Big ass white rabbit in a grocery store

7. Band called 'White Rabbits'

If you want details, you gotta go back to a previous blog. We don't have time for that, this is already long enough. Lets update the list shall we?

8. A friend and I are into comicbooks. We pick up one about DC women super heros. There's this one woman who is a magician. Her page had a bunch of white rabbits on them which raised the question: Why are the rabbits that are pulled out of hats always white?

9. There is this coffee shop (Jenne, Claudia, calm down) that serves a drink called the White Rabbit. It has FOUR shots of espresso in it. Loki tasted it and called me. This is how the conversation went:

Loki: I HAD THREE SIPS AND I KNOW WHY ITS CALLED THE WHITE RABBIT

Lani: Why?

Loki: BECAUSE IT'LL MAKE YOU SEE WHITE RABBITS AND FOLLOW THEM

Lani: *nervous* Put the cup down slowly

10. Loki's computer sucks, mkay. He gets pop ups all the time. But nothing could have prepared him for a white rabbit pop up that started talking sh!t to him.

11. Does anyone here have yahoo chat? If you've been in a chat room you know first hand how random people are. Someone was so random that they just up and typed White Rabbit in the room.

Anyone know how many letters are in white rabbit? Eleven. How many White Rabbit incidents have happened? That's right. Eleven. I'm not making this up, ask Loki.

'Tis Quiz Time

What are your initials?
LRR
What is your favorite thing to wear?
my skin
Last thing you ate?
Subway sandwich. EAT FRESH

I say Shotgun, you say?
*Then I get the semi automatic*...What? you asked.

Last person you hugged?
Everyone just now *HUGS EVERYBODY*
How many U.S. states have you been to?
9: California, Nevada, New York, Washington, Oregon, Utah, Oklahoma, Maryland and Georgia

How many of the U.S. states have you lived in?
just one
Does anyone you know want to date you?
:oops: He's a sweetheart

Name something you like physically about yourself?
Everytime I take a quiz this question is on there. MY EYES CUZ THEY'RE HUGE.
Why are you still up?
I'd rather make you smile than sleep

Who/what made you angry today?
PEOPLE IN WAL-MART
Favorite Food?
Baked chicken

Favorite holidays:
Thanksgiving. Lots and lots of food! No, I'm not a fatass at all. :lol:

Do you download music?
Why? Do you want something?

Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Heck yes. Dirty socks feel dirty

What are you wearing?
Nothing. Does that turn you on? Oh baby oh baby

Do you like George Bush?
Do you want your face smashed in? No? Then don't ask stupid questions

Have you ever bungee jumped?
My people and ropes dont have a good history

Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
same thing with boats of any kind

How much money do you have in your pocket? I told you I was naked...:lol:

How is the weather right now?
Is that really important right now? Hm? Is it?

What are you listening to right now?
My song of the Month

What was the last movie you watched?
Awake. I will never get those precious minutes back
Do you wear contacts?
I dont need any. If I did, I'd wear glasses.

Where was the last place you went besides your house?
Lowe's parking lot

What are you afraid of?
Stealing souls with no regard as to who I took them from

How many piercings have you had?
just my ears

How many pets do you have?
Do siblings count?

What's one thing you've learned today?
Do not, I repeat, do not let people use your bathroom. People are dirty and don't clean up after themselves

What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Let me put it to you like this. Wal-mart and Starbucks may as well become one.

Have you ever fired a gun?
Yes I have.

Are you missing someone currently?
My dad and It

Favorite TV shows?
CSI (all) Samurai Champloo, Family Guy...blah blah blah

Do you have an iPod?
Do you pee on your carpet and blame it on your nonexistant sister who lives three countries over when no one is home?

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yes, and then I punched the girl who said it in the face

Who would you like to see right now?
My father

Favorite movie of all time?
Of all time? I dunno I have too many

Do you find yourself loved?
That depends...do you love me?

Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
Yea, some people just feel like I shouldn't live

Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
salted and buttered. mostly salted

What magazines do you read?
This is what poisons the minds of our youth. Magazines. I deficate on magazines...

Have you ever ridden in a limo?
yes I have

Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently?
not recently. Count me thankful

What's something that really bugs you?
More than anything...STUPID QUESTIONS

Do you like Michael Jackson?
No. Do I like some of his songs? yes
Favorite football team?
*sigh* the Raiders...WE SUCK. I KNOW!!

Favorite cereal?
Capt Crunch, Cocoa Puffs, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Apple Jacks

What's the longest you've went without sleep?
About 4 days on accident. 2 on purpose

Last time you went bowling?
Last year

Who was your last phone call?
Loki...

Last time you were at work?
Me? Work? :lol: Today, if one could call it that :roll:

You can drink now if you wanna. I'm done. For now... ;)

Well hello all. How the heck are ya? You're good? Oh...You're not. Sorry about that. Anyway, I hope I can make you smile with this rant/blog/plug. You'll see what I mean...

WARNING: May cause choking and/or spitting out liquid and/or food.

-I tickle my inner child and it tells me to go f*ck myself.

-When the flip is my uncle leaving!! He keeps eating all the damn food.

-He told me he loves me, and then I laughed in his face

-I made the mistake of going outside today. The first thing that came to mind was 'PUT ON A FLIPPIN SHIRT!! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR MAN-BOOBS'

-He can't live in perfect harmony because some people can't sing...

-YOu know you're a nerd when you make a Lord of the Rings, CSI, Star Wars, Sandlot, and Star Trek reference all in one conversation.

-Whoever said "Its better to have love and lost than to have never love at all" has never loved before.

-I don't need a gun. I got my bare hands.

-My favorite teacher once said "You don't know what you're thinking until you write it down"

-Choking on my own saliva...

-'Shut your lips' -Dane Cook

Now that that's done...(No you can't drink anything yet)

So, me and Self had a conversation today about my love-life, and the lack thereof. This is how it went:

Me: Why can't I date a guy who is like me?

Self: Is that really what you want? Because I can't stand you honestly...

Me: You know what? Why the f*ck are you so mean to me? What the hell did I ever do to you?

Self: *shakes head* You do know that I'm actually you right? You're asking yourSELF.

Me: If I'm talking to myself, then so are you! HA!

Self: *stomps off in defeat*

As you can see, we don't stay on topic at all. Plus, she doesn't like me sometimes.

SHAMELESS PLUG TIME

Hey its my blog dammit! You don't like it, go read your own!! :lol:

Break Room: Las Vegas CSI (Humor, Complete, rating T)

Maybe CSI (Angst?, Complete, rating T, GSR)

I Hate Valentine's Day CSI (Romance, Complete, rating T, SoNic)

Heaven Help Them CSI:NY (Family/Drama, WIP, rating T)

One Step Forward CSI:Miami (Romance/Angst?, Complete, rating M, HY) :oops:

Guardian CSi:Miami (???, Complete, rating T, Challenge Fic, HY)

Elevators and Road Rage CSI (Romance/Humor?, Complete rating T, SoNic)

Trinity CSI (Friendship/Hurt?Comfort, WIP, rating T)

Song of the Month: (swear I'm not copying you Eric): Tomorrow Never Dies by Sheryl Crow

Song of the Year: Something's Missing by John Mayer.

Song of the Rest of My Life: Broken by Seether and Amy Lee

You may now drink. ;)

UPDATE: As some of you know, everytime I leave the house something real random happens. Well I screwed up and went the extra mile and went to the grocery store. If that doesn't make you shake your head in amusement, you haven't read all my blogs. Stop drinking right now.

I've come to the conclusion that I look sexy in sweats. I'm not being narcisistic, I'm being very serious. I don't find myself attractive at all, but everytime I go out in public with sweats on guys check me out and some even flirt. Comfirmation: today.

There's this guy that works at the store and he checks me out regardless, but he was staring extra hard today. I shook it off cuz I'm used to him being creepy to me. Anyway, I go to the meat department and this guy (Loki: he who shall not be named) says hey to me. I know him, we went to school together, no big deal. He gives me the once over. VERY big deal. But he's strange anyway, so I brush it off. I go to the check out to pay for my groceries (cuz I do that) and the guy who's bagging my groceries is being SUPER DOOPER EXTRA HECKA nice to me. Its not that bombass customer service nice either. Not at all. So he goes and helps some other family out with their groceries. Prime time for me to get away right? No, not at all. He runs from their car to mine just to help me put my stuff in the car. AND HE FLIRTS WITH ME!! Freaked me the f*ck out!

Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe he just likes black girls (he was white). Maybe its the sweats. IDK, but I'm not going back to that store by myself ever again *cough*Loki*cough*

NOW you can drink.

If you're reading this, you're a friend. Yay you. Each one of you (that I've interacted with) mean a lot to me in a different way. In no way am I showing favoritism. I like you all, which is why you're reading this. I've singled some out cuz they should know how i feel. i don't get mushy often, so try to take this seriously.

Loki(Thomas): You're the brother God didn't think I was ready for. I'm still not ready. Love you long time.

Jenne: One word-binary 1011100101011010.

Clo: SO glad we met. You brighten my day by checkin on me. You make me smile :D

Charlotte: You remind me of myself sometimes, so you're awesome by default. ;)

HEATHER!!!: My new bestie. We're like the same person, only not. You're randomness makes me chuckle.

Eric: Your sarcasm is so refreshing. :lol:

Ash: You make me smile, Sweet. Hope ur feeling better. My thoughts are with you.

Ang: THE YOUTUBE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!! Nuff said.

Gwen: My fellow Sims 2 addict :lol:. I think its funny how we became friends on here. (I'll update it real soon. I promise)

Claudia: First of all...:lol: ROTFLMAO!! I love your WTF moments, they kill me. One of the first friends I made on here and I have luv for ya.

Hannah: Your so random I don't even know what to say honestly. :D

Dakota: One word. House. :lol: You make me smile too. Cheers.

Minnie: You already know how I feel about you. Sisters forever. Promise.

Now that we've all gotten or fluffiness out of the way, here are 5 questions you shouldn't ask someone. I answered them. Yes you do too.

1. What is your dominatrix name? Madam Rose

2. Do you have Nair for you're hair down there? ...I would like to phone a friend

3. How old are you? 19 (I know, rude right?) :lol:

4. How much do you think you are worth as a prostitute? I can't find the infinity sign on this keyboard...

5. Would you sell me your soul? Would you sell me yours?

I'll impart some wisdom upon thee later. I'm tagging everybody. Have fun. Muahahahaha!! :twisted: