ring the bell...school's out!!!

well today was finally my lastday of school. finally it's over. i can actully rest and relax and not have to worry about a thing. ;)

I GOT AN A! I GOT AN A IN MATH! OMG OMG OMG OMG.

:cry: happy tears. this means i can finally start applying to other schools to transfer to. the unoffical transcript says my current GPA is a 4.0 and the cumlative says 3.6.

!JELLO FOR

EVERYONE!

btw, i'm getting super fast DSL tomarrow! :0

since this glorious day is almost over and since many of us have to go back to school and work tomarrow, the laxative fairy sends her 4th of July tidings to all us tonite. :twisted::twisted:

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to nite, the lil

brings her tidings and joy -- joy of relife that is

with

because she knows all about the

and the

and the

and the

you have

all day.

now, it's time to pop

but you suffer from

but then the

visits you and you feel

:)

again.

now the cat has something to savor about:

gotta love that meaty aftertaste yeah!

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fairy to deanna: i know all about the 4 plates of spegetti, the 3 slices of cake, the jello, and the gummi worms you ate today. be prepared!

me: eep! u promsed you wouldent tell! :cry: :cry:

for the record, i dont have indiegestion, ok? and i did by some fireworks yesterday with no intent to pop them. i cleaned all day, it rained some, and now i have school tomarrow. BA HUMBUG!

i would like to thank my readers who read the 2 day story blog. :) i know it was a little graphic in nature, but that is how the story went.

i prolly shouldent have done a blog like that, but i was testing the waters and seeing how they went, i wont do that type of story again.

so again, thanks for reading. :)

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LMAO i'm tyring to watch episode of moral orel on youtube but the connection is super slow, the episode is sooooooooooo funny. moral orel is the best. :)

math suxs

enjoy your 4.th i'll be studing.

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The paramedics found my mom in a cold sweat, eyes rolled back, and bleeding profusely. She was rushed to the hospital and kept for a few days in the mental ward. Jeff explained to the docs about the abortion and all the drinking, pills, and vomiting Camille had been doing the last few months. The dr. told Jeff had mom suffers from very bad depression on top of being bi-polar. He also mentioned that if would have been born, most likely mom would have suffered from post pardum depression due to all the overwhelming hormones mother was now being held hostage to because she is now in her 30's. Mother and Jeff would often take walks in and out of the hospital. Jeff would hold her tight and speak to her gently telling her gently that everything was going to be ok. Camille started taking anti-depressants while at the hospital. The day she "forgot" to take her pills, was the day she kinda went back to mania. As she strolled through the hospital corridors, she ended up in the maternity ward. Seeing the tiny, pink, seemly healthy babies wearing the warm little pink or blue hoodies, made mom very nervous and brought back those horrid memories of the events of the past few months. Everything was happening in slow motion. The world was spinning, people was passing her at a snails pace, someone tired talking to her, but all she could hear was a mess of words with no clear structure. A cold sweat was running down her body and she started chanting gibberish. Camille passed out in front of the baby window. A few hours later she awoke. Jeff was sitting next to her holding her soft hand. His strong grip gave her comfort in this troublesome time. Again, the docs gave mom her meds and soon she was released.

After that hospital stay, Camille was getting her life together. She started working out, dating other men while her Jeff took off time from each other, and eventually she started moving away from me and that "operation". Jeff and Camille had "off and on" periods. He was a man who was 10 years older and mom and not to mention divorced with 3 kids. He encouraged Camille to date men her age and to let go of her past wounds. She took his advice and soon enough, I no longer manifested into other kids. I watched and finally I could let go. Often times, when I felt lonely, I would stand in the shadows as mother held hands with other men. Sometimes I'd would come down in spirit form and follow her around. Eventually, I just watched from the clouds. Camille had buried me in her mind; it seemed like I was a mistake from her younger past no longer in her memory. But for some reason, there were self help books in one of the rooms of her mansion piled high to the ceiling and across the walls. She didn't forget about me, she was reading to forgive herself! All this I thought I was just a distant memory, I was a more dormant part of her soul. She'd keep this office locked every time one her male friends would come over and never mention it to them. Jeff knew about the self-help books mom was reading over the years and now she was losing count of the thousand books in that room. Camille's life was changing. She grew very fond of the men she dated over the years. Soon enough she was engaging in that. Yes that. I don't understand what is with her that act that nearly destroyed her life. What happens if she ends up pregnant again? What happens if I have a sibling that ends up here with me? Or even better, a child who earns the right to live but has to suffer with a mom in heat. Apparently that female dog was in heat at all odd hours of the day again. I wept for her in the heavens and every time it rained, that was me! I cried and cried and watched Camille entice man after man even now the "zeroing in" Jeff. Her savior was now a friend with benefits…coffee and walks in the park my butt! Every guy had the same thing on their minds -- my mom's underpants. I sat on my cloud and rage boiled inside. Mom … have you forgotten me? It's good that you are moving on, I understand, but don't forget completely about me.

Children no longer mentally ripped apart my mom. In fact, she gave her time at an orphanage and donated large sums of money. She read, played and fed those tiny little bodies on the weekends with Jeff. Many of those kids were born drugged addicted and had been left in hospitals or streets. Some had physical and mental defects and all they really needed was a stable adult and a whole lot of love in their lives. Come to think about it, maybe I had it lucky. Maybe I wasn't meant to be born after all, maybe Camille was meant to serve other children and not me. Saint by day, temptress at night. A little disappointing, but still, I had a new family of aborted kids to play with. We looked from above, but we rarely manifested or followed in spirit our parents. Turns out mother did not completely forget about me as I had thought. No, in fact, she often daydreamed about what gender I would have been. Let's get one thing straight people…I never said what gender of baby I manifested myself into. I was aborted as a 47-day-old embryo and all the things that would have made me male or female never formed. As far as I'm concerned I never really knew my gender. Again, I did not have the parts, ok? I grew up in heaven, but an angel told me that a child becomes the gender their parent's want them to be. Their miracle child, their wish come true child, their little angel. I was confused about what she said, but it made sense. Come to think about it, I don't even have a name. Mom always said "he", but um…I did not became a "he" or a have name until a few years later. Another thing folks, I grew up to be a he in heaven. Unknowing to my mother, I really I'm a boy, but since I'm lacking a piece to my soul, I haven't become a "full" boy yet.

The years floated by. Mother was still a gorgeous woman entering her 40's and still hard working as ever. She helped run corporations to the epitome of greatness and she even started a few companies of her own. Mother had it all again, except there was no one there to help her celebrate her good fortunes. Jeff was there all the time, but it was not the same as a young smiling face looking you in the eye and yelling "mommy, mommy, I wanna be like when I grow up." The x-mas season was a little rough for mom. Every yr she would light a candle and say a prayer on x-mas day. She and Jeff would cuddle and later on spend of the day outside. People must have thought Camille and Jeff were married and they began to ask if they had any kids. Camille would simply say no and change the subject. She wondered if that was a lie or just a half-truth. Jeff would say he had kids from another marriage and also change the subject. The pages on the calendar zipped along. The day that I was supposed to be 10, Jeff brought mother a stuffed teddy bear with a green Mohawk and chocolate fur. Mom always told Jeff about the kid's she saw with the green eyes and the chocolate hair and the misery they caused her. Now I finally had a memorial. Mom kept this bear in the corner of her room along with some Lego's because she they might have been my favorite toy. But, I still had no name.

The years passed along. Mom and Jeff were again taking a break from each other, when she met Nick Stahl. A hotshot executive with sandy brown hair and something a horse would envy. Apparently, mom was into that sort of thing and soon enough, they were at it like rabbits. Jeff and mom's relationship had cooled down and mom was ready for physical love. Nick showered mom with gifts and the kisses she could handle. Oh yes, he's her boss! Hmm … seems like they weren't in love, just "sprung". The year that I should have been 13, (June '99), mom and Nick decided to take a lovely vacation on the Italian Mediterranean countryside. It was a beautiful and exotic place full of hearty food and lively ppl. The couple visited Rome, museums, Venice, and finally the coast. Mom briefly mentioned to Nick that an "ex" named Colin often talked about this place. It was a place his family visited every year because Colin's parents were immigrants to America and had left his non English-speaking grandparents behind. While at the beach in a non-tourist section, I manifested myself onto the son of a shop keep. People in this section did not know English and the couple was having a hard time communicating with the shop keeps. Feeling weary and tired, they approached my orange cart. The couple was looking at some fruit when I jumped in front of them. "HI!" I said smiling starling my mother. "How can I help you ppl?" I asked. Nick gave me a strange look since I was the only one who could speak perfect english. "Umm. Were uh, looking." Mom said in a daze. She was looking at the teenage version of her dead child. Colin's chocolate hair, deep green eyes, and the only physical trait I shared with Camille, her nose. My voice cracked once or twice as I tired to sell them oranges. Camille's buried memories started resurfacing because she looking directly at the son who could have been. She started looking to see if Colin was near by, or maybe a relative of his, but no how could a random boy with both their traits be in front of her? Nick was taking notice of mom and her cold sweat running down her face. She was holding back hard tears while we both looked each other intently. I was making Camille's worried face in front of her. All she could do was look at me and fight back the tears. Nick was holding her and telling her to settle down and not to make a scene. Camille shut down and started looking at the ground. Finally she looked up and told Nick to let her go. At last that gruesome moment ended. Mom took one last look at me and grinned. I unleashed my "iceberg melting smile" and give her an orange. Some thing happened in the back round and I disappeared. When Camille looked back to thank me, I was gone and the boy I took over was looking at them funny. He was short boy with olive skin and a big nose nothing like me at all. That nite, mom was in terrible shock while all Nick could do was force her to have relations with him. Camille took a large gulp of whine and passed out for the long trip back to America. Long dreamless sleep.

The months passed. June 1, 2000 was the high school graduation of Colin's daughter, Kelly jr. Colin was finally out of prison and his marriage was a wreck. His wife, Kelly sr. was upset that Colin was in prison for such a long time and the fact he missed most of his daughter's life. She does not know about Camille or me. Colin was out side taking a smoke when I approached him. I took the guise of a young man looking for the building. I was the replica of Colin now and all he could do was look at me. "Sir, do u know where this building is?" I asked pointing to a piece of paper. Colin's jaw dropped as he looked at his own face. "I thought she killed it…" he repeated. "Huh?" I asked him. "Nothing" that man replied and pointed to the building. Colin looked straight at the young man with all the same features and Camille's nose. He looked bewildered and shocked and said, "you look like some I used to know" and walked away. I said nothing and disappeared. Fast forward to May 2004 the year I was supposed to graduate from high school.

Camille was alone again and finally found some solace in a Christian support group for woman who had abortions. She learned that she was not alone in day dreaming about what gender I would have been or any of the dreams or nightmares she had. I was sitting on my cloud with two of my closet friends, Angel and Tammy Lee all 3 of us had the same birth date and were supposed to finish high school in 2004. Angel explained he was the product of incest when his 15-y/o mother was brutally raped by a drunken uncle in a dark alley in Mexico City. She was about 3 months pregnant and the family outcast when she aborted Angel. The procedure was crude and she barely survived the abortion. His tiny body was dumped into the waster system. Tammy was born to a 22-y/o drug-using mother and teenaged father in a trailer park somewhere in the Mid West. As soon as she was born, they throw her into a plastic bag left to die in the near a railroad. When Tammy's mom came out of her drug haze, she looked for her baby, but it was to late because Tammy was dead and her story was on the news. Camille was 50 years old and still hurting inside. Fate brought these woman together. Angel's mom, Yolanda, immigrated to America a few years ago and now worked at a hotel supporting two sons. Tammy's mom, Belinda was in rehab and working as a soda devilry person for Pepsi. I asked my friends if they ever visited their parent's. The answer was a hateful no and nothing else. "We did not have names until now," Angel once told me as we watched our mothers talk. Tammy can't stand the site of her mother so she always turns around. Yolanda once explained that she never intended to keep her first baby, or had her family since they lived in the slums of Mexico City. They were very poor and nothing to eat most days. Her drunken uncle raped her and blamed her of "seducing him" which was a lie. That same uncle paid for the abortion and it was not until Yolanda's grandma made a small memorial for Angel and gave him a name was she able to put the hurt behind. Belinda said she was 22 lived in a trailer park and dated a boy who was only 15. Her mom kicked her out of the trailer home and she moved in with Lyle who lived next door with his dad. The dad was never home and they began to do it and she introduced him to drugs. She said did not even know she was pregnant and went into labor while high on speed. She thought the baby was trash and Lyle dumped her by the railroad tracks in a plastic bag. She realized what happened when the story was on the news. Nobody knew it was he or she and they never told anybody. Belinda says she wants to name her nameless daughter "Tammy Lee" and cherish her memory forever. Finally my two friends had some sort of closer. I on the other hand, still had no name. Just until it was Camille's turn to speak. "I was 32, foolish, and making money like there was no tomorrow. I feel madly in 'love' with my former assistant Colin. He said he loved me so we began to get physical just about everywhere. I mean everywhere. It wasn't until I started eating egg salad and enjoying it that I knew I was pregnant. Colin denied being the father and tricked me into getting an abortion. I don't know why I listened to him. I had plenty of money to support my baby. He might have not been perfect, he might have done drugs or whatever, but he would have been my baby and I would have loved him nonetheless. I had all the sex with different men to make me feel better about myself. So were the drinking and diet pills and all that jazz " She said with a tear. "I name him Ivan." At least! Closure! I really have a name now! My closure is complete. I can move on now.

June 1, 2004 my high school graduation. I came to my mother in a dream. "Camille, Camille" I whispered. She lay next to Jeff and nudged him to go back to sleep. "Mom … don't be alarmed, it's me Ivan. I came to visit you. I know you have been hurting for 18 years and I've come to see you." Mom shed a tear. "Mom, this is me at 18 years old and today I would have graduated from high school. I want you to know I love very much – more that you'll ever know. But please, you should not have dammed me at that meeting. Just because I did not live, does not mean I would have done drugs or do wild things. You would have given me the best educational and finical resources to help me succeed in life. I would have done my best to make you proud and I would have accepted Jeff and no one else as my father." Camille was crying in her sleep. She responded "I'm so sorry for everything. I miss you and I want to get to know you better." "No, mom" I said. "This is a one time dream. All those times I was projecting myself into different kids. Italy, the park, everywhere. I missed you so much and I wanted nothing more than just to glance at my beautiful mother with the big dreams that came true except for mother hood." "Ivan, you're a very handsome young man. I regret not letting you live. Please stay." Mom said. "Mom," I continued, "I know you still want to be a mother. I know about the special needs kids to used play with. There is a very sad little girl by the name of Lacy with a rare form of dwarfism. She is a kind soul and is only 6 years old. I know you love Jeff very much and the both you want a child together, but too old to have one. Please adopt Lacy. We see each other again" I touched her hand and left. Camille was crying and Jeff woke up to her sobbing. He rubbed her back and soon went to sleep. She never forgot that dream and soon they adopted Lacy. Now the same teddy bear in the corner has a nametag with my name on it.

Mother never forgot the young man with chocolate hair, the green eyes, and the her nose. I can move on now. I just look at mom from above, but never appeared to her again. I love you mom.

disclaimer: the following a 2 day story event. it's a true story about a woman who get's an abortion and cannot forgive herself for it. this story is NOT intended to be political in any way, nor does it reflect any political beliefs. do not state your political beliefs here or start a fight in any way. THIS STORY DOES NOTREFLECT ANY POLITICAL BELIEFS AT ALL! it's mainly entertainment and should be considered entertaiment though out the story. names and events have been changed a bit. IT'S A LONG STORY!

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Hi, my name is Ivan. I don't know if I ever had a last name or even a first name until a few years ago, or that my father even knew that I even existed. I have no age, no friends, and no parents... only at one point in my development. If I had been born, I would have been a tall, slightly built young man, about 6'3, chocolate hair with the eyebrows and dark green eyes to match and in my early 20's. Including slightly pointed ears and a smile that could melt an iceberg and the mirror image of the man my mother despised most. No one knew I even existed... except for my mother. Not even she wanted me

Camille Richardson seemed to be on top of the world. She had everything a young executive at 32 would ever want. A six figure pay check, several bachelors and masters degrees in business, a new office, a new desk, and most of a new title - director of human relations at an oil and gas company. You'd think that woman would be satisfied with what she had. After all, she had a spacious penthouse apartment to go home to every night. What more on Earth could she possibly want? Oh yes...him and that. That...the act that landed me in there in the first place. The act that mother could have protected herself from. The act my so-called father could have protected himself and her from. Sure they could have enjoyed it, but at the expense of my mother's life which has changed forever.

It was the 80's. Early 1985 to be exact. The economy was booming, AIDS was causing havoc around the world, the music was hip, the people were lively, the fashions out of this world, and most of all, the strong stock market that boosted business and prosperity that the corporate types like my mother enjoyed. As mentioned earlier, the 80's seemed like one big party that everybody was living for today and never for tomorrow. Let me explain the "party" Camille and him were living. Haha ...who's kidding whom now?

Sitting her big white office, mother, I mean Camille was enjoying a nice spring day when she heard a knock. Being the "newbie" in her department at Diamond Gas Corp, she excitingly let "him" in. A tall very gorgeous young man walked into mother's office. Colin ... Colin De Soto mother's very charming and shake like assistant glides into her office. His dark green eyes directly piecing into Camille's hazel eyes as he walks behind her desk to "chat a little". The two often worked late nights together, ate lunch together, went to each other's apartments, took businesses trips together, better yet, they seemed attached at the hips like a pair of Siamese twins. Eventually, this kind of the relationship would evolve into something more in a few months.

"Here's those reports, you asked for ma'am." Colin states as he places a stack of papers on Camille's desk. With out looking up, she thanks him as he leaves her office. Camille briefly skims through the reports. A few hmmm, and OKs escape her lips while she looks over the customer service reports of the last month. "All seems well... at least for now," she thinks to herself. Diamond Corp. had been expanding its businesses across the states and Camille was in charge of making sure that customers across the states were getting the services and gas they desired by the questioner's gas station cashiers gave to the gas patrons. Colin usually went around the office checking up on the different employee's that worked 9-5 for my mom. Then after the inspections, he would compile reports at the end of the week for her. He worked his hardest for the company and eventually her heart. Camille respected him for all his hard work and dedication to the office and eventually his heart. But now, it's lunchtime. The happy couple usually ate lunch at some sandwich hut in the corporate district. Egg salad was mom's least favorite sandwich. How she hated the stuff, while I on the other hand actually enjoyed it. Her favorite was roast beef on potato bread...yuck! While Colin on the other hand, enjoyed meatball and jalapenos on wheat roll. Apparently business at Diamond Corp was getting good because soon enough mom and Colin were at like rabbits. It all started when mom was trying to use the computer late one night in her office when Colin volunteers to "help" her by putting his hand on her hand on the mouse and well you know what happens next. That was a few acts before me. Soon enough the swapping of bodily fluids was taking place just about everyday. At home or in the office, it didn't matter where just as long as the ID part of the subconscious mind was being gratified for the both of them.

It was that fateful lunch when mom discovered something odd. She subconsciously ordered an egg salad sandwich on rye bread...her least favorite. Colin starred at her in bewilderment and asked about the egg salad sandwich. Looking down, Camille ignored what Colin said and continued eating. She started craving egg salad more often and she knew that the stork of motherhood was flying her way. It became her daily ritual to eat egg salad and often times she would take my favorite food home for those late nights cravings. She would rub her belly at night and she started crying because she didn't know what to do with her or me. Mom confronted Colin the next day at work. He started denying everything they had gone though. Colin started dropping innuendoes on how children ruin careers, how much time and work we take up, and how she would have to wait a whole year to get her career back on track. Camille was in despair because she had no family near by. In fact, her mom, Desiree had been dead for a few years now and she grew up with out a father. For some reason, Colin had the audacity to hand her an abortion clinic card he happen to be carrying around in his wallet. She did not question why he carried that card around. Heck, she never did research on abortion America's taboo. The abortion clinic is an hour away from the office and Camille figures she can do it on her lunch hr or on her day off. She looks around her new office, her title, her desk, and her expensive suit while she holding the phone calling that place considering if it's really worth it. She sets up an appointment for the next week with the intent to keep it. Never once did she consider giving me up for adoption. At least I could have had a chance in life and not an early death. The voice on the other line tells her this "you can decide to keep it or not..." She is also given 3 types of sedation techniques. The first being numbing of the pelvis area while the mother is awake, second type being put to sleep while the technique is done and the third a complete and total "twilight" in which the mother is completely put to sleep. More money means more sedation. She also recalls that ppl at that place were very incompetent. They couldn't even find bandages or gauze. Complete morons. Needless to say mother chose the 3rd option. She was 47 days pregnant with me. I never had a chance. Turns out my due date was December 25, 1985. My gift would have been life and her gift me. Thanks for nothing, Camille. Two weeks after that, mom was watching a documentary about "Life in the Womb" on PBS. Her complete ignorance was forever gone. She saw the little fetuses swimming around in their watery homes and the eventual eyes closing and the thumb sucking. Interesting stuff. Meanwhile all I could do was play with my grandma, Desiree, and watch mom spiral out of control from the heavens.

Camille's and Collins relationship was straining. They still ate lunch, but the closeness they shared was no more. He still worked his best for her, but it wasn't the same. Colin was slowly turning into mom's nightmare. He started embezzling money and making collect calls on company time to someone in Denver. They argued over money for hours and wasted company time. They would yell at scream each behind closed doors over all sorts of things while the employee's listened intently. Soon enough, the Diamond Head honchos would discover the missing money and the boss and her assistant who couldn't stop fighting. The traced the collect calls from Colin's office to Denver because he must know someone who lives there. About $10,000 was missing from petty cash and mother was fired from her job on what should have been 5 months of pregnancy. She denied everything while Colin continued to steal money. Mom was going crazy. She had no support from anybody because she told no one as what happened to me. Her soul was hemorrhaging. On her last day on the job, Colin confronted her. "Listen, Richardson", he told her in a cold voice and grabbing her wrist. "I want to you keep out of my life. That baby, that it, wasn't my child. I already have my 3 y/o daughter and my wife in Denver to keep happy." Mom fought back the tears and all the rage smoldering inside was ready to come out. "It's ma'am or Ms. Richardson to you, De Soto!" She yelled back. "He was your baby and you know it. He was not an it. I killed my baby to keep us both happy and you do this to me? Stay out my life, you're the real career wrecker, at least my baby would have kept me happy." Colin gives a cold stare "You made the choice. I'm transferring to Denver to be with my real family. To hell with you and that it." He lets go of her and slams the door on his way out. Camille's soul is hemorrhaging. She goes home crying. In between sobs she lets out "I cannot believe he was married!" "That SOB lied to me!" "My baby...my baby..." she sobs her self-asleep. Soon enough, my beautiful mother is gaining weight, drinking like a sailor, taking sleeping pills, and crying herself asleep. On what should have been the 6th month of pregnancy, the nightmares began. Once mother went on a walk after a job interview. As she was walking though the park, she saw women and small children playing. Young mothers strolling their babies for rides in strollers, and happy children. She looks straight at a curious baby. The one with the chocolate hair and dark green eyes grinning at her. That was I manifesting myself into one someone else's baby. We held a starring contest for a few minutes. She swore she saw her nose on that baby and the unmistakable features of "him". Mother started calling Colin "him." "Him" made her this way. "Him" turned her life upside down. No mom, you both had stakes in each other's downfall. The overwhelming family site started making mom sick. The world was spinning and all Camille could think about was throwing up and me. She ran home and threw up so much she passed out. While on the bathroom floor, she feel into a deep sleep. In her dream, she saw many faces of smiling and laughing healthy babies both boys and girls. All around her, visions of happy babies dancing around her. We all smiled and laughed and played. Fields of yellow flowers and happy babies around her. She was becoming very emotional and throwing up in her sleep. When the phone rings from Diamond Corp. The voice on the other line explained to mom that she could come back to her old job, cleared of any charges, and Colin had been fired from the Denver office and now going to prison for a long time for embezzlement. Mom declined because she hated that place and now she was up for one of the CEO executive's at another corp. Very good for a woman who is still 32 and single.

On the supposed 8th month, mom met the most beautiful older man she had ever laid eyes on. He had dark brown hair, pretty grayish greenish eyes and he was a very smart, well-educated man perfect for my mom. He would have been my perfect dad. To bad I was no longer incubating in my mother. She told her new man, Jeff Sinclair about me and that abortion. He was a very patient understanding man. They had an "actless" relationship because he knew mom was not ready for that yet. Mom was hurting inside. She threw up all the time because her drinking. Her beautiful skin and hair dulling from lack of a proper diet and diet pills and had nite mares everynite. At nite Camille had vivid dreams about crying babies. She could hear screaming of babies everywhere she went. Non stop dreams of baby's everynite. Jeff was trying to be patient, but he to was wearing thin of mom "habits". Her hazel eyes were sunken and she reeked of booze. The woman ate ice cream on a daily bases and smoked a pack a day. Jeff cooked for her a few times, but mom only threw it up. I manifested myself daily into someone else's baby. I missed my mother. She missed me. Jeff missed Camille. But the child with the chocolate hair and green eyes made mother scream in agony. She had no more family left and Jeff was now her family. If mom would had let me been born, we could have been a happy family. Maybe I would have been granted a few siblings. Mother now took a job where Jeff worked. They worked for jewelry power house corporation. Mom was Jeff's boss and they liked it that way. Mom was very good at what she did. She prospered in her career until it was my due date. She spent x-mas eve crying warped in Jeff's arms. He tired to console her, but it was useless. She wept all night until x-mas day. Mom was so overwhelmed with emotions she tired killing herself. "Omg...he was going to be born today! Right now!" she sobbed. Camille rocked back and forth on the floor while sobbing and holding a razor to her wrists. She softly sang "hush little baby don't you cry" while rocking back and forth and crying. She had entered an alcohol-induced mania and started cutting herself around her thighs and near her area. Blood slowly was slowly dripping down on the floor and spreading staining the white tile. She turned the a/c on and took swigs of hard turkey in one hand while holding the razor near her wrists and softy singing. Her head was spinning, the room was dark and a light snow fell outside. Jeff went to his house to get something and when he came back, he found mom slashing her wrists with a razor on the bathroom floor" chanting, "I'm coming, baby, I'm coming" and rocking back and forth. Jeff found her right in time and immediately called 911.

ok..ok...this is TOTALLY COOL. but...i need true, honest, and sincere opinions to make this kind of thing work. if i had a larger audience, i would so do this in a heart beat, but since i don't, i find it necessary to take a vote...majority rule vote.

let me explain. would anybody on be interested in participating ina 5 PERSON, 5 DAY BLOG, SCAVENGER HUNT? :D

as for 5 days straight, me and 4 other ppl post blogs filled with treasure maps, clues, and fun lil riddles and we form some type of cyber trail leading from blog to the next and the bloppers get to play along/ guess the clues and then move to the other ppl's blogs and to the same thing.

what are we looking for? ambassador kosh's toilet paper..lmao. btw, this is NOT, REPEAT, NOT RELATED TO BABYLON 5 AT ALL!!!!! REPEATE NOT RELATED TO BABYLON 5 AT ALL!!!!!!! u dont even have to mention it in your blog u decide to accept this mission.

remeber the barney song, "who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" kinda like that, but it continues for 5 daus straight and nobody get hurt or bored b/c it going to be oddles of fun.

if you choose to become apart of the "savanger hunt blog hoster person", PM ME! do not tell me herE. I NEED FOR OTHER 4 PPL TO HELP ME WITH THIS!

if you want to play along, but don't want to be a "savanger hunt blog hoster person", plz vote here. say "i want to play along" that's your vote.

once again:

-if you want to be a savanger hunt blog hoster person, PM ME!!!!!! DONT TELL ME HERE! NEED 4 OTHER PPL!

-if you want to thier to be a savanger hunt and have fun, but dont want to be a shhp, VOTE HERE!

NEED HONESTY AND OPINIONS! MAJORTY VOTE!

ok..so i'm back..missed me? :)

anyways, turns out the washr couldent be repaired, so my wkend was spent washing at the laudromat.:evil:

friday, sat, and sunday.

but the good news is that my other aunt g'car is town so she can take grandma out to buy a new washer. :)

btw, i also spent my weekend watching the best.show.ever. BABYLON 5. OMG...AWESOME TO THE 10.

washing all day and watching B5 all nite. ;)

I HAVE A 94 AVGRAGE IN MATH!!!!!!!!!!

SOMEBODY GIVE ME A RIDE TO SAMS CLIB SO I CAN BUY B5 S2 ON DVD! :D :D

WORK IN 5 MINS!!!!!

LOVE U ALL!

S K A K E I T !

it's been 2 wks. the washer has beend own 2 wks and now the wkend trips to laurdomat are over and the mt. everest of clothes will soon disappear into the basketfrom which it came from.

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i've never seen an episode of angel/ buffy before until

and

brought it up on one of my blogs.

so i thought it would be cute to include a dancing numfar. ;) he dances with such delight that the

keeps turning and the

has joined him because the

is being

!!!

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btw, numfars dance would be excellant for the mascot gig...*evil laugh*

WHAT NOISE!? WHAT NOISE?!

*somebody turns down the radio*

or maybe because i was standing so close to the radio, i dident notice or because i'm already deaf from the extreme sound systems from all my blog parties. when i hit 300 blogs, expect a huge party . ;)

ok..who was the cat breath that turned down my radio? :evil:

t'was me...

me: :0 what for?

spock: unlike you, i dont want to go deaf.

me: don't make that face at me!

dang...i tell you that vulcan looks mighty fine this morning...

spock: you think so? i have been working out.

hey, look it's the angry neighbor at 3 am! :D

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on to numfar...i have no clue as to who or wht a numfar is but, i'm guessing it's this guy:

ok, numfar, if you were a chip n dale, i would sooooooo be on firah right now, but since your jailbate and i'm old enough to be your mom, we can't mix. :0

plz call me in 20 yrs... :D

everyone on the dance floor now!

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;) father's day edition of the QUOTE GAME!

Sarek: "Amanda, if it wasent for the boy, we woulden't be getting crunk in space right now..."