Sorry about the title...but I couldn't come up with a good title to be honest...so I just made a stupid title. :P The meaning behind the title? :P Well...let's just say GWAR has a song called "Penguin Attack" from their album Carnival of Chaos. :P The song actually gave me a nightmare a few days ago to be honest. :P I was listening to the song before I went to bed some day earlier this week and I had a nightmare that I was being chased by an evil penguin who wanted to kill me with a chainsaw made out of flames. :lol: :P Yeah...I shouldn't go to the Carnival of Chaos anytime soon...I'll be killed by evil penguins. :lol: :P Remind me to never go there...I'll probably forget. :lol: :P Kidding. :P There are no evil penguins...and I doubt any penguins are in Boston...aside from maybe some in a local zoo...but I don't even know about that. :lol: :P Anyways...if you wanna listen to "Penguin Attack" my GWAR...here's the link for it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSJSq39is0II absolutely love this song...GWAR is like a sub-genre of metal in itself...they're so epic...only they could make penguins appear evil. :lol: :P Oh, but...don't listen to the song if you think it will give you nightmares...it gave me nightmares. :lol: :P But that might just be because I have a disturbing mind. :lol: :P Okay...I should get on with this blog...I have a lot to say...I haven't made one since last week...I've been so busy all week...and yesterday I was just completely tired and upset...if not I would have made a blog...but...I'll get to that later. :P Here's a quick summary of my week... :P
Monday: How fun...back to school! :P Monday wasn't that bad...I was done with all my homework by around 8 so I had some time to relax, but I got assigned a History project...which sucked. :P My day at school itself was pretty normal from what I can remember and nothing special really happened. :P Yeah...not much to really say... :P
Tuesday: It was Open House at my school so my mom went to it and got to meet all my teachers. :P She liked most of them...although she hated Ms. Hausey (my Prose teacher), and she found Mr. Veiga (my Advanced Geo. teacher) very wierd. :P I also got assigned a lab report in Chem...how fun! :P I had a ton of homework and I stayed up about an hour past my bedtime to begin working on my lab report...I was so tired the next morning...everyone around me could tell. :P
Wednesday: Since I stayed up pretty late on Tuesday night, I was tired on Wednesday...even in the morning Jenna met me at my locker and said: "You look pretty tired...when did you go to sleep last night?". :P My day was pretty normal...and after school I went to the Extracirricular Fair with Jenna and a few of my other friends (even though Jenna is my girlfriend...I would also consider her one of my best friends. :D I mean...we were friends before we started dating after all. :D ) and I signed up for GSA along with Jenna and my other friends...I can't wait for our first meeting. :D I'm actually very proud of myself for doing this...I feel very strongly about this kinda stuff and I feel that this year we can manage to continue the fight against homophobia. :D And...we can also learn a lot of stuff about the LGBT community, meet some new friends, and have fun. :D :P Apparently in GSA we also play random games like Twister...that should be fun. :lol: :P Oh, and then I filled out my after school tutoring forms and turned them into the main office at BLS...I'm also gonna be an after school Math/Latin tutor this year. :D I'm such a nerd. :lol: :P I think Jenna's doing after school tutoring as well...but I think she's tutoring Latin and History...she's amazing at Latin and History...she's good at all her subjects...but she's best at those two and English. :D Anyways, when I got homework I was doing homework for a while and I stayed up past my bedtime again to finish my lab report. :D :P And then I passed out. :P
Thursday: I was tired on Thursday as well. :P My day was pretty normal but I had pretty much no homework...so I decided to start working on my History project and went to the Museum of Fine Arts after school with a few of my friends...we had to do some project on Renaissance art and we had to go to the museum. :P It was pretty fun and I did everything that I needed to and then we took the train home. :P When I got home at around 5 I did my homework and then I stayed up until about 10 (an hour past my bedtime) to just do my entire History project. :P I regretted it the next day when I was really tired. :lol: :P Oh well... :P
Friday: Yay...almost done with the week! :P My day was pretty normal and I finished all my homework by 7:30. :D :P But...one thing kinda got to me. I'd rather not get into much detail but I got into a big fight with my mom. I'm really upset about this...I was starting to have a good relationship with my mom and then this happens...it's like she hates me all over again...like she did about a year ago. And I'm disappointed that I didn't restrain myself or try to just end the fight...I let my anger get the better of me...and I've been trying to control my quick temper for years now...I've gotten better...but sometimes I just can't help it. I really hate my temper...it sickens me to be angry. I mean...it wasn't a physical fight...I would never let things get that bad...it was just a verbal fight...but it was still horrible. What was this verbal fight about? Well...my mom has a boyfriend now (it sickens me...I don't understand what she sees in that guy...and I still feel somewhat protective of my mom...I don't understand why she would make herself vulnerable to some guy...I don't want something like my parents' divorce to happen again...that hurt me so much...and I know it hurt my mom...I don't want her to get hurt again...and I don't want something like that divorce to ever happen again. ) and I've met him a few times and he occasionally comes over and he's gonna be moving in soon apparently. The thought of it sickens me...I don't know why...I just feel this need to make sure that my mom will be okay and I just get bad vibes from this dude...I guess I do feel this way though about a lot of females who mean a lot in my life...I have this feeling that I should protect them...I guess it's either a lesbian thing or maybe this is just Dan's feelings...I dunno. But...he was over on Friday...and whenever he's over my mom seems to care so much about him and I feel like she kinda ignores me...like I'm a second priority...and that irritates me...I don't feel like I should be second to some dude my mom's only been dating for a couple months...I'm her daughter...or son...I still don't really know my gender for reals. But...whenever he's over my mom doesn't want me making my snarky remarks because she thinks that he'll find them offensive...it's like she wants me to change so much about me just because this guy will be moving in soon. I'm so sick of it...I shouldn't haveta change who I am just because some random *ss guy who I don't even give a crap about is gonna be moving in soon! I don't even want him moving in...if I had a say in things he wouldn't ever come over AT ALL...I hate the dude! But...I finished my homework and went on the computer and heard them having a conversation so I just jumped in and made a sarcastic remark...my mom got really p*ssed off for NO REASON (it's only because that guy was over. If I weren't already a lesbian this could definately me some event in my life that would make me hate men and make me become a lesbian. Of course...that's not the case...I'm a lesbian and I know that already) and just started yelling at me. I got upset (I've been pretty tired and stressed out all week...when that's the case I'm quick to get angry and upset) and I started crying and went in my room so I just started blaring GWAR music and drawing pictures of myself killing my mom's boyfriend (I drew such an epicly Satanic one of myself dressed in a black hooded robe and holding a pitchfork while ripping the dude's heart out of his chest! :twisted: I LOVE that picture...I'm hanging it up on one of my bedroom walls! :twisted: ) and then I went back into the living room and asked my mom if I could take a nap until my dad came to pick me up because I was really tired. She said no because she "didn't wanna wake me up when he came". I was so ticked off...all I wanted to do then was just forget about that small fight and take a nap...I was SO TIRED at that time and it was only about 8:30. Then I just got really upset and angry...I wish I could have controlled my emotions better but then I just got really upset...it's like anything and everything that has ever upset me justcame back at once and I just started to get kinda teary eyed and I don't like having anyone see me when I start to cry so I went in my room and I was also very angry so I slammed my bedroom door shut. My mom immediately came into my room and yelled at me and started saying a lot of mean stuff to me...then I just got really angry and then the fight began. I'm really upset about all of this...I'm hoping I can forget about this...but I doubt I'll be able to...I never forget about this kinda stuff. Shortly after my dad came to pick me up and I went to his place and unpacked my stuff and passed out at around 9. I'm still really upset about this and I wish I could forget about this but I doubt I'll be able to. I should probably talk to my mom on Sunday when I get home about how I feel about this whole thing...I really don't want some guy moving in to ruin my relationship with my mom. And I feel like 50% of that argument was my fault...so I should probably apologize for what I did. Oh Zeus...now I'm starting to get a little teary eyed...I should end this paragraph. Let's just get to today...
Aside from having that fight from yesterday bothering me still...today has been pretty good and it's been nice to just relax. Jenna and I did have some plans today but I called her and asked her if we could push them to tomorrow, saying that I didn't feel well today. Jenna said that was fine and she didn't ask why I didn't feel well. :D I owe it to her to tell her about the fight with my mom on Friday and that's why I didn't wanna go out with her today...I'll tell her that tomorrow probably...I owe it to her. We still haven't really figured out what we're gonna do to celebrate our six month anniversary...but we are going on a date tomorrow which should be nice. :D Today I haven't really done anything too special...just stuff that I would normally do when I have free time. :P I watched some TV, went on UR, went on this site, practiced the flute a little, studied some Latin vocabulary, and went on a walk...that was just to clear my head. Oh, and I would have played in the mud but I know my mom would probably find out about that somehow and then she'd be more ticked off at me than she already is...I don't want to be on her bad side more than I already am. I really wanna play in the mud though...I haven't for about a week and I've had the urge to since Monday...but I haven't had the time all week. :P Well...maybe on Sunday after I get home from my date and hopefully patch things up with my mom I can play in the mud and get filthy...I really want to do that. :P I'm hoping I can work things out with my mom...I don't want to lose the good relationship I've had with her for the past few months...I've really enjoyed it to be honest. I don't have much else to say in this blog. :P I can't wait for the GWAR concert...it's only about 3 weeks away now...October 21st...apparently that's supposedly "the end of the world" or something...I don't believe that. :lol: :P HAIL GWAR!!! :twisted: :P I don't have anything else to say in this blog. :P Vale. -MightyBFan25 (Alicia)
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