So I come back from a horrible Christmas trip (Guess what I got? Nothing. Just the joy of having to sit around, hungry.), and I see that GS's GOTY has been revealed. SMG won! Woohoo! Yay! Uh...yeah. Kay.

So it seems that right after the event, I see my fellow wool-kin fine-tuning their arguments and preparing their weapons of choice, getting ready to own the opposition with this new ammunition. But hold your horses, brothers and sisters - why is GS credible again?

Sure, it's very nice for the award to go to a Wii game, and a Mario game. That seems like double-ownage right there to anyone that doubted us. But remember, remember, the 29th of November? Gerstmanngate? Even lemmings are switching. Andnow, we want to go back to the standard where we were bull****ed more than once? We want to be the first to break from the revolution, ironically? C'mon guys, we're better than that.

I'm just saying, wait. SMG will no doubt sweep the GOTY from most other sites and sources, being the 2nd best game on Gamerankings and all, you tend to do that. We were way too hasty on this, and our image in SW is hurting already.

Now, I'm happy. I won two bets. My record's lookin' good. And us bet winners get to head on down to SW Bets and make usselves a sig for the losers. We can celebrate. But for the rest of my fellow sheep...let's just maintain our dignity here. Remember, we're the dignified fanboys.

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It's Christmas Eve.

There. I acknowledged Christmas. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go celebrate it unwillingly. Toodles.

1: A holiday tree, complete with a holiday Santa Claus and a holiday nativity. We don't want to be offending any "other religions."

2: Various M-Rated video games.

3: Something dangerous.

4: My own letter in the alphabet.

5: Whirled peas. No, make that, peas on Earth.

6: A time machine, so I can go a day back in time and get....another time machine.

7: Something to drown out Christmas music.

8: Swift death to all my enemies. And my friends if necessary.

9: My own Holiday, dammit.

10: Everything else I don't have.

11: All of the above.

12: Cash money. Actually, make all of the above cash money.

Hey, it's Thursday. Time flies when you're not awake.

Hey, so I just had a brilliant idea. System Wars is like politics, we're arguing about stupid ****, taking sides unnecessarily, and most of us are really just advertising our blimp-sized egos. So why don't we take the next step? Electing ourselves a president, a ruler, an unnecessary leader. The biggest ego, the (far from) last word on the useless **** and bickering.

What would a leader do? Represent the opinion of SW. Make decisions on things like the Uncharted Gamerankings round up or down issue. Sit around being a figurehead. I don't know, use your imagination.

We have the issues. Symbol of success - system sales or game library? How important is price, attach rates, cost-to-value, online play, multimedia, reliability, etc? Switch to Gamerankings or no? Multiplats = worth anything? Handhelds - should they be judged as consoles or as handhelds? Console Wars or System Wars? System Wars or Fanboy Wars?

We have the sides. The sheep, who support system sales as the symbol of success, and are against horsepower and high prices leading our System Wars.

The lemmings, who support the game library as the symbol of success, and emphasize the importance of attach rates, cost-to-value, and online play.

The cows, who argue for the importance of reliability and multimedia functions.

The hermits, the minor party whosupport their platform's full inclusion, and are against price as a factor.

We have the smaller groups who the candidates will have to cater to as well.

The pro-fanboys, who want a leader who supports equal rights for fanboys, and supports Fanboy Wars.

The anti-fanboys, who want the opposite of the pro-fanboys.

The purists, who want the elimination of review scores holding relevance, and support the return of a true debate community.

We have the candidates. There's plenty of people who are capable and willing to lead. I'm not sure if I would vote for anyone I have in my head right now, but you certainly would. :P

But wait - Tsug, this reeks of what Casey tried to do with SW not too long ago, establishing order and basically filling the position you describe here! WTF? You say.

Well, what Casey tried to do felt forced upon us suddenly, and it tried to be too absolute. If games won, any and all talk about sales would be void. Obviously who we would elect wouldn't have that kind of power, and it would feel much more like a community decision.

So who's with me? Let's give some System Warrior a useless figurehead seat! It'll be fun! Huh?

Well, I thought it was a good idea. :evil:

Because of Gerstmanngate, the number of posters worth a fanbio is decreasing. SW's survival is in question, and I'm becoming less sure of the outcome. If my Fanbios end up becoming a treasure of times long past, that would be....cool.

If you want to be a part of this treasure of times that may soon be long past, place a request and give me some relevant info so I can write something.

New category: The anti-sheep.

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LEMMINGS:

DaysAirlines (uncertain) - In SW, DaysAirlines is a lemming who seems to have created his own brand of sarcasm, the likes of which is rarely seen in SW, not identified as fakeboying or trolling, and defended by veteran posters. This does, however, make him the target of new posters from all sides. To any new posters: Don't do that.

Fuzzy_Munch (uncertain) - Fuzzy_Munch is the latest of a line of posters with posting styles strikingly similar to that of the banned nasos_33333. Usually seen as the OP of multiple first-page threads talking about 360 RPGs. His status amongst fellow lemmings is unknown.

Kcpp2b (denies) - Kcpp2b is the creator and Capo Crimine, A.K.A. Boss, of SystemWars Bets. Inside, he keeps the thread light-hearted with his strange sense of humor. Outside, he attempts manticore but usually comes out pro-360. Also has an unusual and suspicious fascination with Prince and Borat. Hmm...

Tree-branch (uncertain) - Apart from some apparently....interesting moments...in OT, Tree-branch was a well-known troll in SW, at least for a while. He had a Rouge the Bat avatar, and although succeeding at flamebait, not very many memorable topics or moments. Most known for his bet that MP3 would get below 7.5, he challenged sheep to it and got quite a few. Before the MP3 review came, he was already banned.

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COWS:

Dualshockin (accepts) - Dualshockin is one of the most well-known cows in SW. What most people don't know is that he used to be one of the biggest trolls in SW, with more than a few sig-quotes and memorable moments. Now he prefers to keep the bait in his controversial signatures, and debate as an actual cow.

The-very-best (accepts) - The-very-best is SW's biggest GTA fanboy. He is also in the running for, if not the most prolific thread-maker in SW. Keeps it mostly unbiased, with seperate personal opinion usually towards Sony. Believed by one deluded fanboy to have strange powers over fanboys in SW.

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SHEEP:

FlockofSpagheti (uncertain) - FlockofSpagheti is known for his controversial topics and his posting style that looked like he was drifting off after every sentence. He became a well-known sheep pretty quickly, bringing a big-list of Wii games to anti-Wii threads. and creating more than a few pro-Wii threads of his own. Nowadays, he's never seen in SW.

Jedigemini (uncertain) - Jedigemini is perhaps the most aggressive sheep in SW, creating topic after topic of sales charts and bashing the opposition. Because of his non-sheeplike approach, he isn't popular with his fellow sheep, and isn't well-liked by the opposition either. In a way, kind of the opposite of Willy105.

SuperMario_46 (accepts) - SuperMario_46 is one of the larger sheep in SW. He also frequents SystemWars Bets, and is the leader of the Anime Gaming Trust union. Quite attractive amongst donkeys.

Tsug_Ze_Wind (accepts) - Tsug_Ze_Wind is a supporter of fanboyism and is opposed to GUFU and its kind. He is a self-proclaimed veteran poster and wind spirit. He is also the Capo Bastone, A.K.A. Underboss, at SystemWars Bets, and is mostly found in that thread. He also created what you are reading, and can therefore say whatever he want about himself, but chose to keep it humble for the sake of a good first impression. By the way, Tsug is the best poster on System Wars.

Willy105 (uncertain) - Willy105 is the official hype man of the sheep, creating grand hype threads that even get compliments from the opposition. After the banning of its creator, Willy also took over the SW Comic. He is creating a game based on System Wars, and his new project is an SW monthly magazine. Pro-Diddy Kong, anti-violence.

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HERMITS:

CaseyWegner (denies) - CaseyWegner is SW's resident mod. Known to be blunt, he (yes, he, let there be no confusion) usually attempts to bring hyped fanboys back down to earth by reminding them of their hyped games' chance of failure. Resume includes a well-recieved thread titled "System Wars Myths That Need To Die," and a failed attempt to establish an official system to decide the winner of System Wars.

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MANTICORES:

Subrosian (accepts) - Subrosian is one of the most respected posters in SW. Tends to be long-winded but writes excellently. Was fiercely anti-Nintendo at one point (his thread "Good-Bye Nintendo", posted after E3, got 1,000 posts, but now he seems to have a different attitude. He recently created the "Avant-Game" union, after leaving GUFU.

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ANTI-SHEEP:

Tomarlyn (?) - Formerly a rarely-seen manticore in SW, Tomarlyn, knownby the Futurama avatars and sigs,became on of SW's most-seen anti-sheep after the Wii's launch. Forming an argument usually from personal experience, Tomarlyn attempts the "betrayed gamer" persona, and comments in seemingly every anti-Wii thread.

Ganon42 (accepted) -Formerly one of the biggest anti-sheep in SW. While most anti-sheep focus on one issue, ganon42 attacked the sheep on everything, from kiddy games to rehashes to gimmicks to non-gamers. He recently porn suicided, presumably because of Gerstmanngate.

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GINGERDIVID:

Gingerdivid (accepts?) - Known as "The Chameleon Troll" (actually he isn't known by that at all, I just completely made that up, but it sounds cool), gingerdivid is the most prolific and well-known troll in SW. Known to switch sides at any time, Gdiv is most memorable as a cow, with many hilarious threads and sig-quotes. Currently a hermit, he claims to have turned over a new leaf. Oh, we will see.

Tman93 (uncertain) - Tman93 is the Capo Soldati, or Soldier Boss, in SystemWars Bets. He and his associates dig up whether you're following through on your bets or not, and the info goes straight to the rest of the Bets crew. He can also break your legs over the internets is need be, so don't be cheating. Formerly a cow in SW, he defends the underdog of each period.

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I remember playing GTA: San Andreas, riding around in the country on my racing bike, hitting the hills of San Fierro, getting lost in the desert, before going back to Los Santos for a few gang wars. It seemed really big and epic, and I thought there was no way any GTA was going to top this one. Ever. And behold, now in GTA4, it's going back to one city. A no doubt much more detailed city, but still just one city. I was really disappointed when I heard that, because I loved the diversity in the areas in SA. It looks like I was right.

Of course, the scope of SA will be topped eventually. In 2050, when we're able to render the ever-changingplanet in ultra hi-def, and Carl Vercetti Bellic the 28th will be able to enter every house and building, and will be able to ally with the Mafia, the gangs, the military, or the International Housewives Union. Then, I'm pretty sure we'll see more diversity, and more stuff to do. Gee, I can't wait to circumnavigate the globe with the wholeplanet's armed forces after me!

With a game like GTA, there's always room for improvement, because you can always add more.

Which brings me to my original question: How can Galaxy be topped? How do you add more, when Mario's explored the corners of the universe, and has conquered gravity, the ultimate foe of the platformer? What scheme can Bowser now have up his sleeve, now that the creation of a dominant galaxy in the center of the universe has failed? (Oops, teh spoilers. I'm terribly sorry. :P)

Perhaps in 2165, when VR has been mastered and gaming has been born again, the cycle leads again to this very spot. After the flop that was Ultra Reality Mario Cleaning Things With A Backpack, Shigeru Miyamoto IV needs a game to restore faith in his great-grandfather's creation. Now he has his chance, with Nintendo's new system, the Fiil, which revolutionizes VR by adding the sense of touch. He'll create Ultra Reality Mario Universe, which will take us on a journey through the universe as Mario, defying gravity and orbiting worlds just as our ancestors did years ago with their now-primitive magic wands.

...So I guess it'll be a while. In the meantime, who's up for Sunshine 2? :D

It's just a fact. Sheep wanted it, cows wanted it, now even lemmings are jumping on the GR bandwagon. If you don't think it's going to happen, you're in denial, and if you don't like it, too bad.

Now, in preparation for the GR takeover, here are some tips:

1: Be a good sport. If you're against GR, you're against the community now. Whining about it won't help your credibility any.

2: Don't be hasty on the GR score. Every big game floats around the top three for a while.

3: Every score that adds to the GR average is valid, including, paradoxically, Gamespot.

The only thing I could see standing in the way of a complete GR vote is if No More Heroes flops on Gamespot, and lemmings change their tune just out of the blue...wouldn't be the first time. :roll:

....

Come on, you know you did. ;)

Okay, so I wasn't actually really gone at all. I was in Arizona for the past week, but I was also here, as much as any other time. I was just too lazy to blog. :P I was on vacation! /excuse.

So, we're still "undecided" on Gamerankings. Come on, SW, let's get our heads together. This is the time for change. I want to see Gamerankings as the official standard by '08!

It sounds like Blackout Monday didn't make a dent. Don't look at me, I participated. Maybe for the next protest, we should make sig banners that say "Blackout (insert day) - I Was(n't) There". Make the date a little further away from when we announce it, and really try to get everyone with any doubts about Gamespot (for example, everyone on the site) in on it. We could make it reallybig.

Take Over System Wars Night was a success, to the surprise of me. I didn't think we could pull it off, but we did.

What am I talking about you say? Did you think everyone just decided to be pro-Nintendo all of a sudden on Saturday night? (Not that that isn't unheard of - join the winning team!) You think I wasn't going to be in on it? I'm sure at least one person was thinking "Tsug_Ze_Wind's gotta be involved in this." You know why? Because that's what I was thinking.

The Fanbios will resume next week. Ahh...I'm glad to be home.

10:00 PM: I get home from the local card shop. My eye really hurts, so I decide to just check GS really quick before I go to bed.

I go to SW. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for a thread that said Jeff's Kane & Lynch review was on Youtube. I wondered why that was worthy of a thread, but didn't pay any more notice. I looked up at the SW Bets thread. I was gone for four hours, and it had grown by 100 posts. Something happened.

I went in. I noticed Deadman had a new sig, with a Jeff gif and cursing Eidos and Cnet. Something really bad went down. 5 pages later, I got caught up. The story? A strong rumor that Jeff had been fired over his Kane & Lynch review, because Eidos threatened to pull.

I don't like Jeff. I think his review style is unprofessional and at the same time pretty nerdily pompous. Plus, 8.8. But this was bad news, because it led to more suspicions about GS, which moved to Cnet, which moved to gaming journalism as a whole, buckling under to threats, and accepting bribes.

I went to see the huge thread in OT. I saw sheep, cows, lemmings, hermits, manticores, OT non-gamers, and level 1 accounts abound.People were signing petitions, making calls, cancelling subscriptions,porn suiciding,trashing anything Kane & Lynch related on Gamespot, and what will be most infamous, the utter annihilation of the Eidos boards. I truly feared clicking on those links. Who knows what kind of things they were doing, but I suspected, the Eidos boards were the garbage heaps for the internet that night. I needed sleep.

So what does SW do now? The obvious answer is to use Gamerankings, and I think it's inevitable at this point.What does Gamespot do now? Time will tell. What do people who want honesty do now? Hey, tough luck.

Me? Well, I'm heading to Arizona in a couple days, and although I've been dreading the trip, maybe it'll be good to get away from this site for a while again. It'll be interesting to come back and see how things have developed.

P.S. Coincidentally, this incedent occured the day after I posted a very secretive blog post. Of course, this is a far bigger deal than my little sheep mind could've ever thought of. I don't think SW is prepared for our master plan now, so we'll wait until it cools off and gets back to a more controlled insanity. Mmkay? Toodle-oo.

Psst...hey! Yeah, you. C'mere.

Something's gonna happen soon...I ain't gonna give no details, but you should definitely check it out...soon...you'll know the time...or not, I don't know...maybe. Possibly.

But for right now, you see nothing. Nothing at all.

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...Toodles.