Welp, this is what you would call my "normal" blog post, which includes movie reviews, me talking about my life, etc. So, since it's late, let me get on with it.

First off, let me get some emotions off of my chest. After the shock that's been left behind with the Virginia Tech shootings, schools and businesses all over the country have been getting threats constantly, with moronic bastards thinking it's funny to ruin the patriotism of the USA. Hell, even at my mom's workplace, she told me that there was graffiti on a bathroom wall that said something like (and I don't know exactly) "The Virginia shootings may have left 30 something dead, but here there will be more dead." With both my mom and dad working in the same company, they say it's nothing, and threats have constantly came in many times before at the place. But it still scares the hell out of me. That's both of my f*cking parents. And then there's my school. There hasn't been a threat yet, but risks are still high enough with what's been happening this past week, and that leads into the devastating news I was going to mention: The NASA Incident. WTF is this world (or this country specifically :roll: ) coming to? People think it's COOL to go in and cap a bunch of people, just to kill themselves soon after? Is this the new low that people turn to when they're desperate? With the new wave of murders occuring, as well as pet food recalls, the worries of global warming, the Iraqi War, and probably many more issues, this world, I'm sorry to say, is starting to go to hell. I mean, after watching Children of Men, what if our world turns chaotic like that? Could it be possible? Well, if everyone doesn't get their sh*t together, I'm afraid there might be a chance:?.

*sigh* Now, with that out of the way, I've got more movie reviews for you. One was probably one of the most weirdest movies I have ever seen, while the other gave an average view of a historical tragedy. They are:

Being John Malkovich

Talk about one unique ride. After placing John Malkovich in one of my early dialogue sequences, I figured I owed it to myself to check out this weird sounding movie. I'm glad I did, too. Not wanting to give away TOO much, the plot starts off as a puppeteer (John Cusack) getting persuaded by his animal obsessed wife (Cameron Diaz) to get a REAL job instead of trying to put on puppet shows in the streets. From there, you get taken on one bizarre ride, which involves, yes, John Malkovich as himself. Not only was this movie original, creating a brilliant plot, but it was pretty funny as well. In fact, I guess I would call this one a "dark comedy," since it made me laugh quite a bit. The dialogue was a trip, and the acting was top notch. There is one stand-out feature of this film that made me get all giddy inside. Making an appearence in the movie is a cameo by a very random actor that I never expected to play John Malkovich's friend, and that reminded me A LOT of my past dialogue sequence I made with John Malkovich, since IMO the conversation was completely random and unnexpected. I really wish I could give away who that actor was that made the special appearance, but that would spoil the surprise:P. Look on imdb if your curious. Anyways, this movie was just plain awesome. A 10/10.

Bobby

I've been waiting for this movie to come out on DVD since I first saw advertisementson television for the theaters. But before that, I was hyping this movie because of the cast. I mean, just look at it! It's got A LOT of huge names, and a few that seemed awkward to be in this kind of movie (Ashton Kutcher, Nick Cannon, Lindsay Lohan). Well, even if critics bashed it, I still wanted to see it because of the cast AND because it was like a Crash s7y1e movie I thought. It wasn't too bad, but I was left a little disappointed. First of all, the pros. Of course, there's the cast. And there's great acting by most of the people, most surprisingly from Nick Cannon, who gives the best performance of his abysmal career. Also, this movie gives a pretty accurate retelling of how the Bobby Kennedy assassination went down, and a little bit about his election. And just getting into WWII in History, this gives me a good preview of the Cold War era we are going to learn in that cl@$$. But, there are also cons in this movie. For once, I thought there were too many lives to keep track of in the running time of 120 minutes, and the character development on most wasn't that deep. Probably the person that got the most meat of the whole movie was Freddy Rodriguez's character IMO, since I thought his character was the most developed. Everyone else was just.........blah. Nothing exciting. So yeah, not a perfect movie, but it's pretty good. Not for people who have no patience, though, since this movie is basically more dialogue than action. It gets an 8/10.

I've got Smokin Aces still waiting for me to see as well this weekend, and HOPEFULLY it's as frantic as people are saying, but not a disaster like most critics say it is. I'm really looking forward to it.

As far as gaming goes, still working on Super Paper Mario and Metroid Prime 2: Echoes (notice how I've started to slack off from Final Fantasy XII now:P ). I usually like to make my games last, though, instead of beating them a week after I get the game. It makes the experience seem longer and more pleasurable. But they've been great games so far.

Now, it's late, and I am starting to fall asleep as I type. If you haven't already, don't forget to take a look at the latest part in mine and VGK's dialogue sequence, which I posted before this. But you don't have to if you don't want to. Until Next Time, LATA!!!

Uh..........yeah, I know what you're thinking. "I thought the conclusion was in VGK's last blog post. What a lying bastard you are." Well, yeah you're right. I guess I am a lying bastard. BUT, to make it up to you all, I'm doing you all a favor. I am going to make two seperate blog posts. One will have the continuation of the dialogue sequence, the other will be nice and normal so that those who aren't concerned with the ridiculous story can read about normal stuff and those who don't like me nagging on and on about normal situations can tune into this next, exciting episode of the saga of dialogue:D. Or, you don't have to read any of it. Up to you. Well, without further ado, A CONTINUATION OF.....................uh, there is no title to this story. Let's just call it "Wople" for now. Don't ask why:?........

*Sephiroth starts*

"I'm going to make you squeal, piggy."

*Xemnas joins in*

"That sounded quite foolish."

*whispering to myself* Yeah, he foolishly stole that line off of the movie Deliverence. *snickers* Must be a raping redneck:lol:.

"With voices like ours, who cares what we do with them?"

"Maybe to you it may be alright, but remember, I am not the type to enjoy any pleasurable desire."

"Oh for Jenova's sake, let's just kill Piggly Wiggly and collect our pay from the Video Game King. He's paying us double what a phone sex operator makes in a week. It's quite generous of him...."

"Fine. So, Colonel, prepare for your destructable fate. Any last pathetic words from your giant mouth?"

Uh, let's see. OH, have you guys seen the movie 300?

*both villians look at each other in confusion*

"We're video game characters. How the hell are we supposed to watch real life cinema? Anyways, why would you bring up something as pathetic as a movie for your last words?"

*Gerald Butler suddenly appears behind both villians*

"No particular reason. Unless the Colonel was clearly trying to foreshadow the event of me appearing behind your backs when you least expect it."

*Babe the Pig randomly comments*

"Yup. Saw that comin alright. You villains are toast."

"Wha.....WHAT IN BLAZES IS GOIN ON!!!!???? I thought VGK's castle guard, the Cyberdemon, took care of Butler's Spartan army a long time ago."

Yeah. I even heard you yell from a distance in a previous episode.

"Well, when the entire army was totaled, and this Cyberdemon reigned supreme, along came this goofy looking fella that went by the name of Burger King--"

Burger King! I knew it.

"Yeah, Burger King. Anyways, he just seemed to destroy the Cyberdemon with one blow. The man was one powerful being. In addition, as I was struggling in the dirtpiles of oblivion, the Burger King just healed me up. And that is why I am here, with my uniform off once again, waiting for some hints of action."

"That fake ass, raping son of a b*tch. Someone needs to destroy him someday. I mean, his advertisments are atrocious."

"Forget pig man for now. Let's destroy Gerald Butler first. This bastard means pestering trouble."

"WAIT! Let me just put on my uniform, first."

*20 minutes pass*

*The 6 pigs are playing cards while they wait*

*Wilbur the Pig asks*

"Got any 7's brick house pig?"

"Go fi.........oh dammit, you got me! F*ckin robbed me of my cards! I hate this game. Always have...."

"Oh for Jenova's sake, are you even done yet???!!!! I mean, I had enough time to stab Colonel Pork, rip open his insides, play with his insides, COOK with his insides, AND eat his insides. Not to mention I even had time AFTER that to bake a ca--"

"NOW!!!!!! NOW, IT IS TIME TO FIGHT!!!!! WITH MY SPEAR IN HAND, AND MY SHIELD TO GUARD MY LIFE WITH, MY DESTINY IS TO DESTROY YOU!!!!!! AND THEN, YOU SHALL DINE--"

"Oh, let me guess: 'In Hell,' right?"

*dies from a spear being thrown into his snout and out of his eye, with 300 s7y1e cinematography*

"DON'T EVER INTERRUPT MY LINES AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW, SEPHIROTH, XEMNAS, TIME TO FEEL THE PRESSURE OF A SHIELD CRUSHING AGAINST YOUR BONES AS WELL AS A SPEAR THROUGH YOUR LUNGS."

"Oh we'll see about th--"

*gets power-thrusted with Gerald's shield, and flies into a random rusty nail on the wall, stabbing him in the throat and instantly dying*

"I knew he was a sissy....well, let's see how you fare in a sword fight, Gerald. With my Masamune in hand, your spear will fall victim of it's sharp precision. Let's begin our duel."

*The two duke it out as the remaining pigs, along with me, watch from our positions*

*Meanwhile, at an Olive Garden in Beverly Hills.....*

*Ryan Gosling appears*

"Um, waiter! Why is there onions in my salad? I SPECIFICALLY ASKED for the chef to NOT put onions in my salad."

*The waitress defends*

"Mr. Gosling, I'm a waitress, not a waiter. Big differen--"

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN, EVEN IF YOU WERE A F*CKIN CIRCUS CLOWN! I asked for NO ONIONS. Now, you can either take this piece of sh*t back, or I'm going to complain to your fatass manager sitting over there, stuffing his face with spaghetti while on his break. And stop looking at that other chick while talking to me."

"Sir, I would be more than happy to, but until you can control your behavior, I'm afraid I am not able to carry out your desi--"

"IS IT THIS HAT!!!???? DOES IT MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A F*CKING ROBBER OR SOMETHING??? DO I F*CKING INTIMIDATE YOU, YOU DUMBASS BROAD??? DO............hey, HEY! Colonel, this is the wrong dialogue sequence. Get back to your own affairs! I've got my own ghosts to battle right now, understand? Oh, and by putting in this random portion of me getting angry at an Olive Garden, it doesn't mean you are funny."

Oops, sorry. Guess I got sidetracked. Or maybe I wanted to be humorous by being completely random:P. Anyways, where was I?

"The Spartan dude just kicked that one villian's butt! HOORAY!!!"

Oh yeah, that's ri.....what!!??? Really? When?

"Right in front of your eyes? Are you going blind Colonel? Because you were staring the whole time. I even decapitated his head in a s7y1ish move that involved my helmet."

"It's true. Saw it with my own two eyes. Most amazing thing I ever saw besides the time a rhino suddenly appeared and ate the Big Bad Wolf after he tried blowing down my brick house."

Oh. Well, shall we go confront VGK, save Jeff Goldblum, and get out of this sh*thole of a castle so we can end this ridiculous saga of epic nonproportions?

"Yes sir. I'm all ready for some action. But the pigs stay. I can't handle talking animals. Too gimicky."

Fine. If you say so......

*Tune into VGK's next blog post for, maybe, the final battle. If NOT the final battle, well, you know where to find my blog afterwards:P *

*continued from Video Game King's last blog post *

*opens eyes after being knocked out*

Wha........where am I? Is this......a cell? Oh sh*t, now I remember. Michael Jackson came to kidnap me as a command from VGK. And I think he hit me with a lifelike statue of Gary Coleman to knock me out. Damn, and now I'm in a cell. ANYONE THERE!!!!!????

*Sanjaya responds from the corner of the cell*

"You're not the only one in the cell you know. Stop shouting so loud. It makes my ears hurt and my hair rises like a razorback dog in alarm."

AHHHHHHH!!!! WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE!!!!!?????

"Well, after finally leaving all the fame behind after being voted off American Idol, I was walking down the street, crying like a 7 year old in the Great Depression. Then, from out of nowhere, Michael Jackson just started beating the bejesus out of me. I never thought he could fight like that. Such a man. Such a strong ma--"

Ok, before you go into any immoral fantasies that would even make a prison rape seem satisfying to imagine, what the hell happened you fruitfly?

*Jeff Goldblum yells from farther in the dungeon*

"DID SOMEONE MENTION SOMETHING ABOUT A FLY DOWN THERE????!!!!!"

*Sanjaya continues on, not noticing Jeff Goldblum's distinct voice*

"Like, SORRY! GOD! Anyways, Michael just started beating the tar out of me, and next thing I know, before he knocked me out, he whispered in my ear something like 'This is for trying to be an imitation of me with all your stupid dance moves and queer actions' or something like that, and next thing I know, I woke up he--"

JEFF!!!!??? IS THAT YOU!!!!!!?????

"COLONEL!!!!??? IS THAT YOU MAN!!!!???? WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!?????"

I'm actually in the cell next to you. I just figured that out just now for some reason, when your voice sounded abnormally louder than it should've.

"Oh damn. Well, ha, guess we can tone down our voices a little bit. Who's in that cell with you anyways? I keep hearing another voice. Sounds feminine, too. Is there a woman in there seducing you, you pimp;) ?"

Actually...........heh, yeah, like THAT would happen in a prison. But anyways, it's actually that Sanjaya that was making controversy on American Idol. He's bugging the sh*t outta me, t--

"What! How could you mistaken me for a girl!!!?? I don't sound like one!!"

*Seann William Scott appears in the other cell over*

"Actually, Manjina, you actually do sound like a chick. It's pretty f*cking freaky, too. Everytime I start to get little Jimmy out to start shaking the moneymaker with pleasurable thoughts in my mind, I hear your f*cking voice and it f*cks up my focus. Not only that, but that fruity smile bothers the sh*t outta me, too. It's very girly, man......or should I say, woman. HAHA!"

"*sniff* YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN!!!! WHY IS SOCIETY SO CRUEL!!!?? ALL I WANTED WAS A CHANCE AT FAME TO MAKE MY FAMILY PROUD!!!!!"

"Man, it should've been your sister instead to make it that far. She's so f*ckin hot. I mean, when she smiles, it's a lot less creepy. I guess it's because that Randy Jackson dude has a thing for dudes that you got chosen to continue on instead of your smokin sister."

"*sniff* SHUT UP!!!!!!!" *goes to the corner and sobs to himself, but then his ribs twist counter-clockwise, along with his spine, and he dies instantly*

WHAT THE HELL!!!!!????? WHO WAS HE!!!!!????? A SELF DESTRUCTING ANDROID????!!!!!

"Well, look down at your nipples. VGK has attached a device to the thorax area of every prisoner here that has a sensor that detects any crying activity going on. And when it does, it breaks the ribs and rotates them counter-clockwise, instantly killing the individual. It's quite sickening, but hey, it's a masterful way to keep prisoners in line."

"Yeah, it's f*ckin freaky man. But I'm just glad that girly dude finally got silenced. Now I can finally play in peace without hearing any imposter voices to f*ck up my concentration. Now if you'll excuse me ladies, daddy has to thaw out the sausage. Later f*ckers."

*disappears behind the small bed*

That was just disgusting.

"It is very disgusting, but luckily, not too many people cry in here, so it doesn't happen often."

I was talking about Seann William Scott's dialogue. It's nasty. I mean, 'thawing out the sausage?' Yeesh:?.....

"Oh. Yeah. Just ignore the man. He's just lonesome for society, and he just wants to unleash all his dirtiness upon us innocent prisoners."

Yeah. If you'll excuse me for a sec, I gotta think a minute. Gotta start pulling myself together with all that's happened today. Oh, speaking of events that happened earlier, where are my companions? I thought Crispin Glover, Terrence Howard, Keanu Reeves, and Ben Kingsley were with me........

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Sir Ben Kingsley is right here in this cell with me. He's still knocked out, but he's alright. As for those other people you mentioned, I haven't the slightest idea. Oh well, guess we'll find out soon, won't we?"

Yeah, I guess.

So, to start things off with the "normal" part of my blog, I watched another movie during the week. And since I'm limited on time, I won't bother with a review this time, although this foreign movie deserves one. It is:

Run Lola Run--9.5/10

And let's see. School's been going smoothly. Super Paper Mario is more addictive than ever. It is mild outside, and yet, I'm still inside being a lazyass. Um......like I stated earlier, Sanjaya finally got voted off American Idol. The Virginia Tech shootings have officially become the worst massacre in America since the 9/11 attacks. And, that's probably it.

So, Jeff, what are we going to do?

"I don't know. But I think I hear footsteps coming. We better act like we're not being--"

*Michael Jackson suddenly appears, in a professional uniform*

"Suspicious?"

*turns around slowly and loses hope of everything, knowing he's going to die, and utters* "Yup."

Oh sh*t. This can't be good.

"You're right Colonel. It isn't."

*shoots Ben Kingsley with a pistol hidden in his sleeve, ALA Travis Bickle s7y1e, and then sends Jeff Goldblum into a dancing craze, paralyzing him*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JEEEEEEEFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

"Your time has come Colonel. Time to meet with the Video Game King. Come with me."

*a possessed Keanu Reeves, Terrence Howard, and Crispin Glover appear behind Michael from the shadows, and start to talk like robots*

"Come with us. Come with us. Come with us. The King has a surprise for you. The King has a surprise for you. Come with us."

Jesus, where's the Burger King when you need him?

Tune into VGK's next blog post for the heart-pounding, explosive, exciting conclusion to this vast tale!

"What? Man, I won't even get to see all the fighting from this dark, stinky dungeon. Oh well, without chicks, I guess it's not worth it to see the carnage anyways. Oh well, back to fapping:D ."

Until Next Time........uh, Lata:?......

So, right now, Terrence Howard and Crispin Glover are sleeping away in their sleeping bags right now, and I'm wide awake next to our campfire. Since there's no commotion going on this time, I'm just going to TRY to keep this blog post nice and normal, like back in the ol' days, so if something unexpected happens, well, I apoligize:P.

First of all, as you can see in my now playing list, I managed to obtain Super Paper Mario for an Easter gift. Quite the game, indeed. It is very addictive, and a fresh take on the Paper Mario franchise. In fact, I actually like the "action RPG" element (AKA platforming) quite a lot in this game. Plus, flipping from the 2-d world to the 3-d world never gets old IMO. The secrets are almost endless, and the puzzles are very clever. And while I'm still only in the 3rd chapter, the humor is just a little stale at times, and I haven't laughed as much as I wanted to yet. But it has its quirks. But yeah, this game truely is the Wii's first superb platformer/RPG to embrace the system. Go out and buy it if you own a Wii and if you have the money. Seriously, do it. I mean it--

*Terrence Howard talks in his sleep*

"Peer pressure...................I DO wanna be............a french fry............maybe I DO.......I WILL......I....zzzzzzzzz"

Ummm, ok:? ? Guess he's dreaming about Burger King again:|. Crazy no good son of a.....

ANYWAYS, back to the "normalcy" (quoted by Warren G. Harding if I'm not mistaken.......damn I'm good at history:D) of my blog. Schoolwise, things are aight I guess. Today was a pain in my stomach, though.....literally. You see, I overindulged a little bit last night with some crunchy fish fillets and fries, and this morning I ate some Banana Nut Crunch, creating stomach cramps out of this world in my stomach. Well, I figured by the time the first few hours went by at school, they would disappear. But did they? Hell naw. So, suffering the pain long enough, I decided to just risk myself in the filthy school bathroom to "relieve" myself at lunchtime. I still had very minor stomach cramps after that, but it wasn't as bad. Other than that, lots of homework today. Luckily, tomorrow is when all the seniors have to present their senior projects in every cl@$$ (something I'm REALLY looking forward to next year:roll: ), so hopefully no work tomorrow. OH, I also got my ACT scores back. Got a 24 out of 36, which is pretty good I guess. The way I see it is, I passed 2/3 of the test, which is more than half the test, so it's all good if I managed to pass more than half the test:D. There's some that did significantly better than I did, but oh well. Congrats to them:)........:|. Plah.

MOVIE WISE, I watched two superb movies this past weekend. And guess what? THEY EACH GET A REVIEW!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D HOW EXCITING :D:D:D:D:D:D:D ok I'll just get on with them then:

Volver

This is probably one of the best foreign movies I've watched in awhile. First off, this movie introduced me to the magic of Pedro Almodovar's films, which include movies like Bad Education, All About My Mother, and Talk To Her, all of which I want to see very badly. Now, on to this movie itself. I won't explain the plot, since I had no idea what it was about before I viewed it. So, I'll place you all into my shoes:P. It's mostly women that put on the acting this time around, unlike most films where it features more males than females, but they all did superb. Of course, Penelope Cruz put on quite the performance. Not to mention this chick is hotter than HELL in this movie:D. After watching this, I think I'd put her up in the ranks with Salma Hayak:P. But seriously, the story may not make sense in some parts, but by the time the ending hits, you realize how clever it was. It revolves around subjects such as being close to your family, exposing family secrets, loss of family, lies, affairs, and all that similar good stuff. So, if you are interested in foreign movies, you owe it to yourself to check this one out. You'll laugh, you might cry, but overall, you'll just have a good time. It gets a 9/10.

Boogie Nights

Heh. Well, this was quite the experience. A few years before P.T. Anderson directed the critically acclaimed character mosaic, Magnolia (an 8/10 I gave it a long time ago, but I decided to change it to a 9/10 after watching it again), there was a little movie he directed called Boogie Nights. But I would hardly call it "little," since this is one profound movie. It also happens to be one of the sexually explicit movies I have ever seen. Basically, this whole movie revolves around how a pronographic director (Burt Reynolds) spots a busboy (Mark Wahlberg) working in his friend's nightclub, and basically offers him a job in the late 1970s. From there, it is a movie with amazingly shocking proportions as it takes us into the lives of several characters up onto the early 1980s. The retro vibe this movie gives off is surprisingly effective. It fooled me a couple of times that I was watching a movie that came out in the time period I mentioned:lol:. The cast is superb, ranging from a lot of actors/actresses that were in Magnolia (Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman, John C. O'Reilly, and many others) and other great actors, such as the previously mentioned Burt Reynolds (in one of his last great roles before he acted in crap movies) and an amature Mark Wahlberg, and others such as Don Cheadle and Heather Graham (who is HAWT in this movie:oops: ). Everyone gives remarkable performances, especially Wahlberg, who, IMO, gives a better and more important performance than he did in The Departed. As for profanity, it's not just the sexuallity in the movie, either. There's also some very shockingly violent scenes in here as well. For instance, there's one part that almost reminded me of the infamous curb stomp in American History X, but wasn't quite as bad. And, of course, the language is f*cking extreme. So, would I say this was a better movie than Magnolia? Well, there wasn't a weird scene in Boogie Nights like that one infamous scene in Magnolia, so that by itself makes Boogie Nights better. But with a better cast, more profanity, more shocking scenes, and a cool retro feel, this movie gets a 9.5/10.

*Terrence Howard talks again in his sleep*

"No...........don't do it............don't..........eat..........the last.........french fry.............Bobsponge Pantsquare..............King of......Arizona........of the.........underoos...........taking my..........family.........to Hawaii.........zzzzzzzzz"

Wow :|. So, as far as movies went this past weekend, pretty good. I've got a movie from the video store sitting in the living room as we speak, and *hint* it has John Malkovich in it;) . And since my mom is planning on cancelling NetFlix soon, I'm making sure I bombard the top of the queue with foreign and rare films that the video store won't have. Oh, and lastly, at the video store, being the nice person that he was, my dad saw The Descent for $10 used, so he decided that that was a good deal, and he bought it so I could add it to my collection:D. Well, being that it's just about one of the best horror films this decade, I figured I needed it sooner or later.

Lastly, how about that tragic shooting at Virginia Tech this morning:(. Damn. What I find shocking is that it is being named "the deadliest mass murder in U.S. history." Well, with all of the massacres I studied in history this past school year, I'm surprised. And the fact that it was worse than Columbine? Wow:shock:....... R.I.P. to all of those who lost their lives.

And to close out this blog post is a little video I found out about on Off-Topic a few days ago, and that I JUST HAD to share. It is probably the sickest and disturbing video I have ever seen on Youtube, so if you are not the type of person that wants to see REAL dead bodies and REAL decapitated heads, avoid NOW. Otherwise, have fun throwing up:)

Teh POSO !!!!!!! 

And here's a video of cute kittens to get those nasty images out of your mind:). See how much I care?

*Macaulay Culkin appears from the bushes*

"Pssssssssst. If you care so much, mind if I borrow a couple of those marshmellows over there in your campsite? See, me and my friend here don't have any to make marshmellow pork n bean soup."

*Keanu Reeves waves from the other campsite*

"Hi. How's it goin?"

What in the hell? I thought I was in a private area:?. And you can get your own marshmellows you sorry excuse for a child actor--

*Ben Kingsley suddenly appears in the same bush that Culkin is in*

"Now, the child asked nicely. And my kind friend Keanu Reeves even waved at you and even asked how you were doing. And he hardly even talks much, so what little bit he said meant a significant amount. Now, a couple of little marshmellows isn't too hard to ask for, is it my good fellow?"

*gasp* Sir Ben Kingsley!

"You bet your damned ass it is. Now, do as the man said, or I'm going to knock you out and booby trap your campsite so that when you wake up the next morning, not only will you have a blistering headache worse than a pesky hangover, but you'll hurt the rest of yourself by falling for the traps."

"Yeah. The traps are a b1tch, too."

"You may put down your hand now, Keanu. You already greeted the young man. No need to hold it up like a traffic officer directing rush hour traffic."

"Sorry man."

"And put your shirt back on too, would ya? Just because he said to put your hand down, doesn't mean you have to take your shirt off for some random reason. I have to put up with those nipples every single day when you put Vaseline on your abs. I'm starting to get sickening images in my fragile mind. And where the hell did that old chair come from?"

"My bad. Just wanting some fresh air, that's all."

"And stop leaning on my motorcycle like that. You'll smudge it. And where on Earth did that random window come from?"

"*sigh* Fine. Wouldn't wanna do that now, would I?"

"Hey, don't start getting smart with me, you arrogant son of a bi--"

ALRIGHT! Here's your damned marshmellows. But I'm only giving you these because Ben Kingsley is here with you. And he is a legend. So, without further ado, take your precious marshmellows. *throws 5 toward Macaulay Culkin, and he catches them smoothly*

*Crispin Glover talks in his sleep in the background*

"Hey you, get your......zzzzzz..........damned.......hands off..........of..........her..........Forest.................Whitaker......zzzzzzz."

"Jesus, you didn't have to throw them. See, a mosquito got caught on one of them from the air when you threw them. *sigh* Well, at least I can make my marshmellow pork n bean soup now. And don't even plan on asking me for any, porky boy, because it's all mine!" 

Wasn't plannin to. Besides, there's more beans than there is pork in pork and beans most of the time. Plus, the thought of mixing marshmellows in with that makes my stomach turn into a turtle hiding inside its shell. 

*Culkin runs back to the campfire to join with Reeves once again* 

"Well, I appriciate you finally satisfying the boy. See, I just took him in under my wing after his parents lost their lives from alcohol abuse mixed with cocaine overdose."

Ouch. Sucks for him.

"My thoughts exactly. Well, I'll let you get back to your campfire. Hey, maybe we might even appear in your next dialogue sequence, too. 

You wish:lol:. Ditch your two kids back at your campfire, and your access will be granted.

"Wish I could, but I made a promise to Macaulay that I would be his "replaced father" until we find him a rehab clinic. It's hard to find these clinics, you know."

Heh, yeah. Dude's got a major drug problem. His parents probably died to be rid of it forever:lol:.

"It's not a humorous subject."

Sorry.

"As for Reeves, he is just a lonesome man I found lying in a street one day, so I decided to let him tag along. Quite a good fellow, even if he is as silent as a mouse most of the time. 

Yeah. I hear ya.

"Anyways, have a great evening--"

*a gunshot goes off*

"WHAT IN TARNATION!!!??? Keanu!!!!"

*Terrence Howard and Crispin Glover wake up in panic*

"WHAT!!!! MY FRIES!!!!! UNDEROOS!!!!!!! Wha.........where the fries at?"

"LORRAINE!!!! I'LL GET FOREST WHITAKER.........off..........you. What the heck?"

"That'll teach you not to f*ckin try to eat all of the marshmellows before putting them in the pork and beans, Culkin. F*ckin brat."

Well, uh, so much for "normalcy" in my blog post:P. Until Next Time, LATA! 

*continued from Video Game King's latest blog post *

*Johnny Depp asks, sitting at the campfire...*

"Ugh....do you guys feel fade-y?"

*suddenly fades away into nothingness*

What happened to Johnny Depp? WHERE THE HELL IS HE????!!!!!!

*Terrence Howard dreams in his sleeping bag at the campsite*

"Uh, yeah mayne...............maybe.......I DO wanna be a french fry.....MAYBE I DO.....MAYBE--"

*I hit him in the nuts*

Wake up you wack-ass Burger King promoter.

"Wha.....what the hell? I was jus about to show those chicken asses who was tha boss, too. Why the hell you gotta wake up a pimp like dat?"

Well, Johnny Depp is gone. I mean, one minute he was chillin here by the campfire with me, the next minute he vanishes into thin air, with no trace of him left............except for all the damn Dorito crumbs he left all over the sleeping bag I let him borrow to sleep in. Dude eats like a pig that's high and wants the munchies...

"Damn, mayne. That's some f*cked up sh*t. Well, watta ya s'pose we do now?

Well, I guess--

*Fire Emblem villian Nergal appears on the horizon*

--we hide in those bushes.....quick.

*Nergal talks to himself as he approaches the spot where me and Terrence were*

"Yup, I swear, if VGK doesn't raise the pay for the bounty I'm supposed to collect for Colonel Pork, I'm going to go ballistic. I deserve more than a measly $31.47. That's enough to probably buy some Bacardi and a prono and that's about it. Oh, and maybe one of those lottery tickets too. Heard the jackpot was supposed to reach $80 million on Tuesday. And what the hell is up with that talking doll he's always got around? I swear, if that thing doesn't stop sneaking up on me, I'm going to soil my pants one day so bad that the others will never let me live it down. I mean, that face.......that voice......."

*craps his pants thinking about it*

"DAMMIT THE HELL!!!!! Now I need directions to the nearest town. Oh well, I guess I'll wait until someone walks by so that they can direct me to the nearest town for clothes."

*sits down on the ground*

*whispering* "Whadda we gonna do now, mayne? I mean, looks like anotha mean ass punk is out to slaughter us. And with the two of us, it's almost impossible to whip him one now, know wat I'm sayin? Plus, I see no sign of dat Burger King dude comin back to help us again...."

Well, it looks like he's waiting for something. In the meantime.......

So, Monday my Spring Break pretty much ended. It didn't really quite end with a "bang," though. Even my Easter was a drab day, with nothing happening. But I did get a new Wiimote from my mom:D. Haven't had a chance to use it yet, but I'm hoping it works out great. My dad also said something about a game for Easter as well, so this weekend, I'm hoping to obtain Super Paper Mario. At first, when I heard about the platforming in this game, I wasn't too impressed, but after seeing how much more RPG oriented it is, it seems a LOT cooler. Plus, after watching the gameplay videos and reading reviews, I'm convinced to buy it now. I mean, after beating my only Wii game, Rayman: Raving Rabbids, I need SOMETHING else to keep my Wii operating. But, just because I don't have many Wii games doesn't mean I don't use it much. There's still those Gamecube games:). And just recently, just for the hell of it, I decided to start over on Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, since I hadn't played it since 2005 and I most likely wasn't going to remember where I was. Surprisingly, even though I went through territory I already covered in the past, it seemed like a fresh experience. And guess what? I got farther than I did before:D. It's actually quite an amazing game and a superb sequal, despite my thoughts of it in the past.

I also did a no-no with my car on Sunday, due to laziness:roll:. Since we had gotten freezing temperatures with snowthat previous night (so much for a "Spring" break), my windows were frozen and needed to be scraped and shoveled off. So, after starting my car to let it warm up, and before I started scraping, I thought "Hey, what the hell? Let's try out the wind shield wipers BEFORE pulling them loose off the frozen windshield:D:D:D:D....." Well, they obviously didn't work since they were frozen, so then I scraped and shoveled everything off my car, while also getting my windshield wipers loose. When THAT job was done, with my car warmed up and since there was still a little bit of snow left on my windshield, I tried my wipers again. They wouldn't work now:|. So, I was screwed until yesturday, in which I went with my dad to take it to a friend of his to fix it. Now, when it comes to cars, I am a n00b, but according to my dad, the linkage was messed up and needed to be fixed. That's exactly what my dad's friend did, and it works fine again. Good thing I got it fixed yesturday, because today it's been raining and snowing:?. Now it just need new windshield wiper arms, according to the guy, and that can be done this weekend. So remember kids: NEVER try to use your windshield wipers when they are still frozen to the car. It creates a mess.....

Lastly, I've got just one movie score today. I rented Volver this weekend, but I haven't watched it yet. In the meantime, here is a score of:

National Lampoon's Animal House--7/10

And my mom says she's going to cancel the Netflix account for the summertime, too:cry:. I've got so many foreign movies and movies not found at the video store on the queue, though:cry::cry:. I hope she forgets about it, though:P. I can't live without i--

*Terrence Howard interrupts*

*whispering* "Hey, someone's coming down the road....and it looks like they're singing."

*Jamie Kennedy walks like a gangster, while listening to an Ipod........playing Mims' "This Is Why I'm Hot" :? *

Oh lord. I cannot stand this guy. This dude makes Steve Gutenburg seem like Al Pacino:?. And here he's coming out with another stupid "white rapper" comedy called Kickin It Old School ....

*Jamie Kennedy sings the song wrong while skipping down the road like a pansy*

"Yo! This is why I'm hot, this is why you're not......uhhh, I'm hot cause you're not! You're hot cause I'm not! This is why I'm fly......I mean, you're fly. I'm hot cause this is why I'm fly in the, um, GHETTO! Hahahahaha I made a funny!"

I absolutely hate that song. What a joke. Wait, I wonder what that suspicious looking dude is doing now....

"Um, excuse me sir, but do you know where the nearest town is?"

*doesn't see or hear Nergal and keeps skipping along, ignoring him, and then makes up his own, stupid rhymes* "This is why I'm hot! I'm a robot! I rap to this song cause I like it a lot! It's hot and not cold! I.........um, OH! I like fool's gold! It gets sold! My clothes I fold. I told. You're old. Wor--old. My car is sold.....wait, I already used rhymed 'sold.' OH WELL! I fell. I like bells. I can cast spells..."

"Hey man. Can you even hear me? And why are you walking away from me? Do you even KNOW who I am?"

"...I ring bells. I like show and tell. School is hell. That's why I dropped out. Like a pig's snout. Pigs make me pout.."

Ohhhhhh, now I REALLY hate the dude. Trying to diss pigs....I oughta just get out of these bushes and kick his ass now. I don't care if that suspicious looking dude saw me and killed me, I just want to kick Jamie Kennedy's ass:evil:. Dude is going to get it in the futu--

*whispering* "Shhhhh.....what's happenin now?"

"I'm talking to you you wackass freestyling piece of sh*t. You can't even rhyme anything decently."

*pulls out the Ipod earphones from Kennedy's ear as he skips past*

"CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW YOU F*CKIN *SSWIPE????!!!!!"

"Man, wassup with you? You don't just take away a w1gga's Ipod like that. You......uh, what's the word? Oh yeah, tripping. Or is it fronting? Damn it, I get these words mixed up all the time....."

"Shut the hell up you g0dd@mn moron. You're just like a f*cking fly buzzing in my ear--"

My, how that phrase is getting overused:?.....

"--Now, if you don't tell me what I want, I...." *puts earphone in one of his ears* "Wow......this is a cool song. Got a nice, fresh beat to it. Damn.....this is why I'm hot. This is why I'm hot. This is why, this is why, this is why I'm hot--"

"Give it back, you r3t@rd *pokes Nergal in the eyes*

"Ow! You f*ckhead!" *honks Jamie Kennedy's nose*

*Crispin Glover suddenly appears behind me and Terrence as we watch the awkward fight*

*whispering* "Pretty wild stuff, isn't it? It's like a Three Stooges act almost."

*Me and Terrence say at the same time* "Definately"

*All three of us watch the fight and follow our heads to who pulls which move*

*whispering* "Trippy ass sh*t, mayne. My head is starting to get dizzy from moving my head too much...."

No kidding. This is one strange fight. Hope the shady dude kicks Jamie Kennedy's ass.

"Listen, Colonel. I know who you are. And that shady fellow out there? That is an evil Fire Emblem villian known as Nergal, sent by the Video Game King to kill you. He's not too dangerous, as you can see from his fighting skills, but he's still a nasty dude when he's enraged.

And.....how do you know all of this information Crispin? And why is VGK so obsessed with Fire Emblem?

"After acting my ass off in the Back to the Future movies, I became a janitor at VGK's castle. Then, years ago, when I forgot to clean up the pigeon crap off of his bedroom window, he fired me, and expected me to leave his premises forever. Little did he know that I created a secret hideout in a wooded area next to his castle and spied on him for years. I then learned about the dispute with Jeff Goldblum, and about how VGK was going against you in a war to save Goldblum. Well, since I'm a big fan of the man, and I couldn't help but let VGK try to punish someone like you, I searched for you, and here I am."

"Wow mayne. The mutha f*ckin George McFly himself. Man I used to watch those movies over and over again when I was a boi. But anyways, you gonna join us or somethin? We could use anotha man in our party."

Terrence is right. It would be useful if you could join us. Would you?

"Of course I will join you. Hell, that's the secondary reason why I came to find you. Besides, you'll need me for some info later on. Oh, and any of you got a gun?"

"I've got a few. Picked them off of a dead party memba of ours a day or two ago. Here, take one if ya want, mayne."

"Very good."

*shoots Nergal in the head in one shot, and dies instantly*

"WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!??? Uh........MOMMY!!!!!!!!"

*runs off screaming into the horizon*

Wow, I thought those Fire Emblem guys were supposed to be almost invincible.

"Like I mentioned, this guy was weaker than the others....."

"Did you just say 'others,' as in plural for 'other?' As in......there's MORE of deez foos?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I'll explain it as we hit the road. Now let's get the hell out of here before we are spotted by some eyewitnesses. You know how the authorities are nowadays. Heh, Terrence probably knows, right?"

"Hey! Shut the hell up! It was just a f*ckin movie, not real life mayne. In Crash, Matt Dillan was just getting his acting on in tha movie, thas all. Not real sexual harassment that he done when he stopped the car I was ridin in, and harassing my wife in tha movie!"

Ok.........with that said, let's skidattle out of here. Besides, I'm gettin hungry for some eats.

"Aw damn, can we go to--"

No Burger King, Mr. I-Wanna-Be-A-French-Fry:|. We'll go to Steak and Shake instead. Their shakes are delicious.

*everyone walks off into the horizon whisling to the tune of Unk's 'Walk It Out' *

To be continued on one of Video Game King's next blog posts........

Until Next Time, LATA!!!!

*Terrence Howard begins*

"So yeah, mayne. Thanks a helluva lot fo' lettin me join ya'll's group of rescuers of Jeff Goldblum. I was gettin pretty lonely back thurr in that strange town, you know wat I'm sayin? I mean, it's nice to be amongst good company such as yo selves."

Don't mention it. You're a brilliant dude, and I needed...........someone like you on my team. It's nice to have ya.

*Edward Norton joins the conversation*

"So, Terrence, is it? You own a gun or anyth--"

*Guy Pearce interrupts*

"What the hell Ed?! Why do you have to stereotype like that? You don't have to carry your role from American History X into the real world, you know. F*ckin respect the man. Jesus Chri--"

*Terrence Howard interrupts*

"Yeah, I gotta gun. Damn nice one too. Hadta have one on the cause of them motha f*ckin strange folk in that town scurred tha hell out of me. Seemed like a buncha zombies, know wat I'm sayin? Always seemin like they was bout to eat my head and sh*t out my eyes."

Uh, those WERE zombies my friend. You're lucky we came along when we did. Lucky we had Johnny Depp's weapon skills with us.

*Johnny Depp boasts*

"Damn right. I saved all of your asses back there. I'm lucky I even survived without a flesh wound. It was like some Dawn of the Dead sh*t back there. Too bad there wasn't a mall for us to hide in, haha."

"And how the hell did you know I was stereotyping, Pearce? Maybe I was just concerned if he was armed for our quest. Did that ever cross your overworked brain? Jesus Christ man, sometimes you go a little overboard. I am not racist."

"Well excuse the hell out of me, Mr. Vice f*ckin President of this organization of a party we've got going on."

"The hell you mean, 'Mr. Vice President?' What gives you the right to start giving us ranks?"

*Gerald Butler cries in pain far off in the distance*

"Well, the fact that the Colonel is always constantly on your d*ck, asking for YOUR advice and always starting off the dialogue sequences with YOUR dialogue. And don't even get me started about what happens between you and him at night when we set up cam--"

*an explosion occurs unnexpectedly, and blasts Guy Pearce to millions of pieces*

*in shock* "WHAT THE F*CK!!!!???"

*starts to sob like he did on Crash and talks in a low voice amongst every weak breath he takes* "How.....could this sh*t.....happen...."

*pulls out gun and starts pointing in every direction in panic* "My God.....WHO THE HELL DID THIS???!!!!"

*while knocked out from explosion, I start to go through what has happened in the past few days in my real life in flashbacks* Damn, this Spring Break has flown by so bad:(. But compared to last year, when I sat around and played the wonderful Kingdom Hearts 2 and Maple Story, this has been one pathetic spring break. It's mostly consisted of boredom and me completing random games. Hell, I even restarted a game on Metroid Prime 2: Echoes and I am going to try to see if I can actually BEAT this game, rather than let it collect dust for a couple years. The only distinct thing that's happened was I went to my grandma's yesturday. Yeah, it was alright. Didn't really do much, just visited and watched a surprisingly amount of ESPN last night (got into boxing for the first time ever:P ). Then today, we had a delicious Easter meal, and basically watched the ending of 16 Blocks and watched almost the whole thing of Madagascar, which I thought was surprisingly funny. After that, well, me and my mom just left and came back here, and now I am writing another ridiculous part of this dialogue saga, which I am getting VERY little feedback on. I apoligize to those who used to read my blogs when I just did things normally, and are finding it hard to withstand these dialogue sequences. They're just so fun though:P. But anyways, I hope Easter Sunday turns out swell tomorrow, and maybe something cool might happ--

*gets slapped really hard by a mysterious figure*

Wha.........oh lord.

*gunshots are firing from Terrence and Johnny, but it's deflecting off of the mysterious figure*

*Manfroy, a powerful dark mage villian from Fire Emblem, begins to speak*

"Haha, you fools think your bullets can effect me and turn me into a weak little puppy? Nonsense.....MOAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

*magically controls Johnny Depp, and he starts to point his gun at everyone in the party*

*ceases fire* "No..........f*ck man, don't do this. DON'T DO THIS MAN!!!! Johnny, don't shoot. Goddamn, don't shoot please. You're going to make me have to shoot....."

"Pathetic human..........I'll f*ckin knock as many bullets into your jaw as 50 Cent withstood. You're mine now. My GOODNESS I've never felt so powerful before. Hahahaha...."

"Yes my little puppet, DO YOUR DANCE ON THIS DISPICABLE CREATURE!!!!!"

*engulfs himself in a magical fire and his eyes start to glow and his voice gets deeper than James Earl Jones'*

"CRUSH THESE HUMANS!!!!!!"

"Come on Terrence. Try to shoot me. Your bullets cannot harm the magical manipulation casted upon me."

*cocks his pistol*

"As for you, it's time to pack your bags and get evicted into the afterlife."

*struggling in an injured state on the ground* "Terrence! Just shoot him! He'll kill us all!"

*Johnny shoots Edward in the head*

OMG!!!!!!! ED!!!!!!!!! What the hell Johnny!!!!! You son of a b*tch Manfroy!!!! I'll f*cking kill you!!!!!

"YOU THINK YOU CAN HARM ME, MEASLY HUMAN!!!???? MOAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! JOHNNY DEPP, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! TAKE THIS WEAKLING OUT!!!!!"

"Haha, my pleasure, master...."

*Terrence shoots Johnny in the heart*

"I..........damn, this is some heavy sh*t........I'm so sorry Johnny........mother f*cka I'LL KILL YO ASS!!!!!"

*starts shooting mindlessly at Manfroy*

You did the right thing Terrence. It *sniff* had to be done.......

"HAHAHAHA, MY PLAN WORKED PERFECTLY!!!! BY MANIPULATING MR. DEPP, I CAUSED HIM TO SHOOT YOU FOOLS SO YOU WOULD SHOOT BACK AND KILL YOUR OWN MEN!!!!!! NOW IT'S YOUR TURN, MR. HOW--"

*something hits Manfroy like a missile and weakens him, and his fire goes out. Oh, and his voice returns to normal*

"What the hell??!!! My skin is starting to burn..........BUT HOW!!!!????

*Spongebob starts to talk*

*starts laughing the way he laughs*"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAarararararar. Silly villian! Only goodness should be allowed to prevail in this world! If you want, we can be friends! I'll even show you Bikini Bott--"

*The Burger King interrupts by making Spongebob explode*

"Jesus Christ, give it a rest already you annoying little fruit! Goddamn, I swear you would french kiss a friggin Black Widow spider if you saw one. Sure I let you join me for a little while only because my restaurant is promoting you, but you take it too far."

"What......in the hell? Sh*t man, this sh*t keeps getting weirder and weirder, you know wat I'm sayin?"

Wait a minute......aren't you VGK's sworn enemy?

"You bet you're Happy Meal ass I am. I swear, the only thing the dude ever talks about is trying to defeat me and conquer my kingdom and yada yada yada."

*looks at Manfroy in a weird way*

"Not to mention the dude is waaaay too obsessed with Fire Emblem. Just look who he sent to kill you all."

No sh*t. He done killed 2 of my guys, and we had to kill one of our own guys as well since he was controlled by Manfroy.

"*sigh* Listen, since this joker is fighting against you men, I assume you are against VGK in some way, am I correct or am I not?"

That's right. In fact, we're trying to rescue Jeff Goldblum, since he kidnapped him.

"Yeah, I seen him in a cell when I was last at VGK's castle trying to harass him. Listen, I'll tell ya what. If you agree to try to take out VGK and get his crown, not only will I kill this joker of a villian in front of us, but I'll resurrect ONE of your men for ya. What do you say?"

Why..........damn, that's a good deal. Why not? I really do miss my army, and it would be nice to have one back. It would get lonely......

"What about me, mayne? I'm still right herre. Still livin large, and you know how hard it is out there fo' a pimp--"

"Listen, you start quoting from your movies, and I'll blast you into a hamburger patty. I find that sh*t very corny. Got it, Mr. Hustle and Flow?"

*Terrence nods in disappointment, like a dog getting in trouble from begging*

"Good, now, as I was saying--"

*Manfroy interrupts* "ARRRRRGHHHH, cute......cuddly........cartoon character...........with water........making me..........melt......with water burns........AHHHHHHHHH--"

"Oh for Christ sakes, time to shut up this creep."

*turns Manfroy into a burger flavored newt, and stomps on it*

"I hate cliched villians. Always trying to "conquer the world," to boost their ego, and trying to make the antagonists feel bad for them by having the "dramatic slow, melting death," reminiscent of the Wicked Witch of the West on Wizard of Oz.......Damn, what a MILF. But anyways, I killed your fiend, so now choose a person to resurrect."

Gee, what a tough decision. Ed always had my back whenever I wanted........while Guy provided some slight intellect from time to time.......and Johnny was just so damn good with a gun.

"But Johnny's not dead yet. See, the bullet wound is just above his heart. Take a look.."

*everyone looks at Johnny Depp*

"*cough* Alive as a *cough* cockroach."

Sweet! Now I only have to choose between two guys. SHIBBY!!!!!

"I told you all, don't be quoting from movies when I'm around. That means saying "shibby," since it was a quote from Dude, Where's My Car. It makes me nauseous.

Sorry, my fault. Anyways, guys, who should I choo--

*Terrence and Johnny blurt out at the same time*

"Edward Norton."

Well, then Guy Pearce it is then:P.

"As you wish........wait a minute, I sound like a f*ckin genie when I do this sh*t. I'm not some lamp finder's b*tch! F*ck this sh*t, enjoy the grieving fellas! Oh, and here's a magic burger to heal your wounds Johnny. I'm outta here. Got some business to take care of at my castle. Sianara, suckers!"

*disappears*

WTF? What a damn scam that was. Oh well, eat your burger Johnny.

"Why the hell did you want Guy Pearce resurrected??!!! You know I had bad relations with him, right? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Well, did Ed have a gun? No. Did Guy have a gun? Yes. What do you think about DEM apples?!!!

*searches Edward Norton's body* Actually, man, he DID have a mutha f*ckin gun. Stashed in his sock. And in his arm. Man, what's this dude tryin to be, Travis Bickle? Sh*t man, he coulda been useful. Oh well, I'll take em. Bust some fools on the way maybe."

"HA! Smooth thinking Colonel Porky! Looks like Terrence is quite the detective. Thank goodness he's still alive."

Only my mom calls me Porky..........but anyways, let's just get out of here. We're about 87 miles away from the castle now, and I heard Gerald Butler screaming, so his army must've found a band of VGK's forces. As for our lost companions.....may they rest and peace. Oh, and may they tell Richard Farnsworth to not haunt me with any more ghastly direction asking either. Welp, let's head on out.

*everyone starts walking off while humming the tune of Savage Garden's I Knew I Loved You *

*another Fire Emblem villian, Nergal, looks on as our heroes disappear from sight*

"They could've sang Crash and Burn instead of that song......"

Ummm, you're supposed to laugh to yourself and make a silent threat as they walk away. That's what usually happens when villians stay in the shadows from the antagonists.

"Sorry. *ahem* Hahahahahahaha, Colonel, your days will be numbered in the future. I'll get you. Ummm....how was that?"

A little too bland of a statemen......JESUS CHRIST, wth am I? Simon Cowell? This is the friggin end of the blog, so who cares?

Until Next Time, HAPPY EASTER!!!!!! Oh, and don't let the Easter bunny bite:P.

Well, since VGK has too many things to focus on at the moment (judging from the comments in his last blog post, requesting many views on various games:P), I'll just continue my point of view of our war as me and my party continue to travel down the road to glory. I was surprised that so few people left comments on my last post:(. And I thought the randomness of Steve Gutenburg would get me some comments......

*Johnny Depp adds on*

"Or the randomness of me shooting him in his retarded head. *snickers*"

Yeah, that too....I guess:?. BUT HE WAS USEFUL!!!!!! He got me out of that dispicable other dimension that VGK trapped me in.

*Guy Pearce appears in the conversation*

"But then we came along, and now we've got your back protected. You should be fulfilled with relief and loss of grief. Plus, if VGK just happens to come along and traps you again, and he sees us with you, we'll be by your side and we'll figure a way out of it."

*Christian Bale also appears, after taking a swim in the nearby lake*

"That's right. You know, you should really show us your thanks from time to time. Maybe a little appriciation. A f*cking pat on the head would make us grateful, you know.

Uhhh, Christian. Could you PLEASE do us all a favor and put a shirt on, please? Everytime I see a buff body now, I think of Steve Gutenbur--

*Edward Norton interrupts*

"Would you f*cking give this bullsh*t a rest for f*ck's sake Colonel??!!! Goddamn, it's like you were sexually attracted to this f*cker, the way you keep crying about how 'useful' he was and how he 'helped' you out of a situation. You're like a fly that's constantly buzzing in my ear................why the hell does that simile sound so familiar?"

"It IS getting very annoying Colonel. You know, I don't have to stick around if you are going to act so foolish. I could go join someone else's dialogue sequence......hell, I could betray you and be on VGK's army, to be specific, for all I care. Just try me."

ALRIGHT!!!!!! To hell with Gutenburg then! I'm sick of talking about him anyways. It's taking too much of my precious dialogue sequence space. Plus, we have other things to focus on..........oh, and Ed, for your information, I'm not gay (not using that in a derogatory sense). Oh, and keep your shirt off if you want Christian. I was just, uh, joking.

"Too late now mate. You done pissed me off and made me put on my f*cking clothes. So much for that pat on the f*cking head...."

Alright, I'll let you have some time to cool off by giving all my loyal readers an update to my regular life. So, nothing much happening........except that we got like 3 inches of snow:|. Heh, Michigan has some unpredictable weather, doesn't it? I mean, I was JUST wearing my new spring jacket a few days ago, and earlier, I found myself in a heavy jacket, hat, and gloves as I shoveled snow:?. Heh, so much for a "spring" break. Not that I was out doing anything in the first place, since I've been cramped up in the house, playing video games and writing these ridiculous dialogue sequences.

Speaking of video games, I beat yet another game today. It was my only Wii game (besides Wii Sports), too. It was Rayman: Raving Rabbids. Now, just to get this clear, I only beat the story mode, and I am nowhere CLOSE to beating the score mode. But I'll just wait until the times I get really bored to go back to that. Overall, I think the thing I liked the most about this game was the shooting minigames. Those were so fun, and as funny as it is to say, it's probably the best shooter(s) out right now on the Wii. Other minigames were cool, too. For example, the one where you have to trace the outline of food for the rabbit to eat was entertaining. But there were also some extremely annoying ones, but I think the good minigames outweighed the bad ones. All in all, an entertaining Wii game that demostrates the ability of the Wiimote really well.

And lastly, I've been finding myself watching Memento an awful lot lately. A couple of nights ago, I viewed it for the third time ever, and last night, I watched the hidden "chronological order" version on the DVD. Let me just say, watching that made A LOT of things make sense that I didn't get by watching the regular version. But I think after watching this movie so many times, it has bumped up to one of my favorite movies ever. It's just so f*cking brilliant! I wish more movies were like this--

*Guy Pearce interrupts, like always*

"Ahhh, so you're raving about my movie again, eh? I'm pleased to see that SOMEBODY appriciates it that much. Too bad it didn't win any Oscars that year...."

*checks imdb.com* Damn.....not even nominated for Best Picture. If Memento wasn't nominated, heh, wtf WAS? *checks again* OMFG. Moulin Rouge? In The Bedroom? A BEAUTIFUL MIND???!!!!!! Alright, the Academy Awards are DEFINATELY rigged..........

"I hear you man. What sorry excuses of nominees. You know, I would've rather seen Lord of the Rings get the academy award more than anything els--"

*Johnny Depp interupts the interupter*

"Hey fellas. Who the hell is that in the distance? It looks like a man sitting beside a pine tree.....with a gun?....and....is that f*cking blood all over him?"

"Hey......oh man, that couldn't be who I think it is, could it? Yea....YEAH! Colonel, go signal for him to come over here."

Are you sure about this? He has a gun.....wait a minute. I recognize him! Holy sh*t! Yo Clive! CLIVE!!!!!!

*Clive Owen slowly walks over toward the group, limping*

*looks around* "Hey, anybody seen Bale? It looks like he's disappe--"

Shhhhhh! Yo Clive, what's goin on man?

*Clive Owen wipes bloody face with a hankerchief, and starts to talk*

*gasping for air* "Hey fellas. Guy, Johnny, Ed, Colonel. Some crazy sh*t goin on right now, it's so bizarre. You remember when I was arguing with John Malkovich about our movie scores for our movies, don't you Colonel?

Yeah. Go on.

"Well, we were still arguing over that ridiculous sh*t, and I hold my arms out, you know, in an 'I don't know' stance. Then suddenly, the crazy son of a b*tch grabs my hand out of no intention, and starts crushing it. Acting out of panic, I reached for my gun with my other hand, and just shot the f*cker right in the nose. I-I-I didn't know what to think. So, as I was hiding the body in quick panic in the nearby wooded area, I stumbled over ANOTHER dead body, and, uh, with an injured leg, I just rushed out of there in even more increasing panic. That's when I sat next to that pine tree over there to think, and found you guys."

Jesus.......well, all he wanted to do was tend the rabbits, hehe--

*Edward Norton knocks me upside the head*

"Would you knock it off you prick So, you just gonna leave them there, or are you going to do something? We could help you out Clive, right guys?

*Guy Pearce nods in agreement, but Johnny Depp argues*

"Fellas. I joined you guys for one reason: to fight against VGK. I'm not here to help out with a murder situation. Next thing you know, we'll be playing f*cking detective with ourselves, trying to challenge our conscience, and all that other sentimental nonsense. No, I'm not getting involved in this bullsh*t. I'll continue on this quest myself if I have to. Or, like I said earlier, I could always join VGK's forces....."

"He's right. Besides, it was self-defence what I pulled. So, you think I could join you guys to fight for your so called "glory?" I'm quite stealthy you know. You remember that scene in Sin City--"

"We know Clive. You explained it in a previous dialogue sequence. Goddamn it, where the hell is Bale at?"

"You know, I think I may have seen him go walking toward that wooded area over there while the Colonel was talking about that Raymond game or whatever the hell it was called."

It's called Rayman: Raving Rabbids, Ed.

*to himself* "Holy sh*t. That other dead body--"

*a shot is fired all of a sudden*

"Sorry. Another grunt was hiding from us over there in that bush, about to attack, so I had to take it down. Anyways, screw Mr. Bale. If he wanted to ditch us without any mention, let him leave. All I know is WE HAVE SOME IMPORTANT ISSUES TO TAKE CARE OF!! Now, before I have to shoot one of you gentlemen out of rage, can we move frickin on now? We're probably only about 100 miles away now, and we shouldn't stop for anything."

As long as you put that stupid gun away, sure, we'll move on you're royal highness:roll:.

*points gun at me, and then puts it away*

"Don't be a smartass."

Jesus Christ, sorry. Oh, and Clive, you are welcome to our party. I'm sure Jeff Goldblum would be honored when he finds out who all is coming to rescue him--

"Oh hell's bells! Forget it now. I don't want to have anything to do with that man. I'd rather save someone like Steve Gutenburg IN HIS BLOODY UNDERPANTS than Goldbum...."

*talking to himself* "Oh, the irony......."

"...so now I see what all of this is about. You guys are wanting to save a pathetic piece of garbage now. Well, let me tell YOU, any friend or rescuer of Goldblum--"

*pulls out gun*

"--is an enemy of mine."

*cocks the pistol and points it at me*

Uh, Clive. You alright man? Uh, you might want to put that gun down.........

*a shot fires, as I close my eyes in fear*

*I open my eyes*

Wha.....I'm still alive? But.....

*sees Clive Owen's dead body on the ground*

"What the hell? Depp, did you do this?"

"Ironically, no I did not fire the shot this time. Although I was about to. Stupid person stealing the credit from me......."

"I fired it"

*everyone gasps*

"I had a magnum tucked in the back of my pants, and since I haven't really played a big role in this saga yet, I decided, 'What the hell Guy. Fire the shot, gain some recognition.' Turns out it worked perfectly...

"Well, you saved our asses from that maniac. And for that, I'm grateful. But I wonder why Clive would automatically go insane like that. And I thought everyone liked Jeff Goldblum......"

"Pffft, yeah, thanks for saving us Guy the Hero:roll: "

"My pleasure:P. Maybe next time you can have a chance to save our asses......or you could continue taking down more low-ranked goblins that VGK keeps sending to assassinate us--"

*kid from the movie Troll 2 interupts randomly*

"No!!!!!! Not the goblins.......Nilbog..........GOBLIN SPELLED BACKWARDS!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Son of a b*tch that movie was horrible........now I'm going to have to puke due to the image of that movie plaguing my mind right now."

*a shot fires and the kid dies*

"Damn screaming kids. *gasp* Oh my. Looks like the glory is in my hands again:D"

"Dammit! I had my gun ready, too...."

Ok, no more time to waste. Let's get out of here before someone else comes along to discover these bodies.

*everyone starts running while quickly humming the tune of Haddaway's "What Is Love?" *

For a continuation of this adventure, see Video Game King's sexay beast of a blog ;)

Until Next Time, LATA!

*Edward Norton starts to talk*

"So, let me get this straight here. You.......are trying to find a castle of another blogger on the site of Gamespot?"

Yessir. His name is Video Game King. You see, I started to copy his blogging methods, and the dude just went nutso. Then, he did the unthinkable and kidnapped Jeff Goldblum. Now, we are at war I guess, as I try to rescue Jeff. And, you guys are one of a select many that will join me. You up for it?

"You see this face? You see the fire in my eyes? Hell yes I'm ready. I'm up for anything. I'll curb stomp any son of a b*tch that tries to get in my wa--"

Oooookkk, there. Starting to get me a little freaky-zeeky:?. That curb stomp in American History X left me in paralysis. One of the most shocking scenes I have ever seen in cinema.

*Guy Pearce comes into conversation*

"I'd have to agree with the Colonel. Ed, that movie was a masterpiece man. You really got your acting down in that flick.

"Thanks man. Appriciate the compliment. You know, you did an amazing job in Memento as well. Definately a superb thinking movie. Man, I can't believe we're actually joining forces with each other. It's mindboggling to think--"

*Steve Guttenburg interrupts...........with his shirt off:?*

"AW MAN!!! That movie DEFINATELY left my brain with brainfreeze. It was so confusing, that I shut it off right in the middle!"

"Colonel. Why the hell did you invite this lame excuse of a performance artist and his cliched, predictable dialogue with us?"

Idk. He seemed like he was fit enough to fight in an army, so I thought, hey? Why not?

*Christian Bale argues*

"But just look at him. He's got to be the goofiest mother f*cker I've ever seen in movies, AND in real life. Always has that f*cking smile on that sorry excuse for a babyface. Plus, all of his family films are half-assed hackjobs that even pronstars could've acted better in."

"Hey Batman guy. Shut up! You're a stupid poopy head."

"I see your point Bale. Dude should be shoved off of a cliff with a message stapled to his numbskull brain, saying how much of a dumbass he is. Colonel, what are we going to do?"

Well, first of all, I'm going to get my regular hooplah aside first before we continue, aight?

"Sure thing. Carry on."

So, since Monday, I've been gaming like a madman all of a sudden. First of all, I got two games beaten: Cold Fear (finally) and, surprisingly, a game I haven't played since 2005, but picked up and beat: Dino Crisis 2. Yep, so those are now out of my Now Playing list, making it more free of space. Oh, and you can always see the score I gave them too, if you want. As for other games, I've been leveling up a little bit in Final Fantasy XII, messing with bunnies after about a 2 month halt with Rayman: Raving Rabbids, boxing like Rocky in Wii Sports (BTW, I didn't know it existed on the game, but I actually got Platinum on the punching bag training game:D ), and even playing a little bit of Mercenaries on Resident Evil 4. I'm sure I'll be gaming a LOT more in the next few days, but it's been nice so far:).

As for movies, I finally watched The Straight Story. Here's the score:

The Straight Story--8.5/10

*Guy Pearce suddenly interrupts*

"Uhh, Colonel. You might want to take a look at what this clown is doing now."

Steve! WTF are you doing? Why are you.........hugging that shrub?

"Because I LOVE nature! Nature is just like family! I learned that with many of the family movies I played in. Not to mention the Olsen Twins helped me figure that out."

"Can I just shoot this fruitcake now, or do we have to wait until he gets murdered 'accidently' at VGK's castle?"

*A shot fires, and Steve Guttenburg's head explodes*

What the....? Who the hell did that?

"Yeah, that just happened so suddenly. It was a relief, but who fired the shot?"

*Johnny Depp appears out of the shadows*

"Hello gentlemen. I couldn't help oversee your little 'companion' needed to be neutered. So, I decided to do a little favor, since I respect all of you men. You guys are quite the actors."

"Well, lookie here. What a sight for sore eyes. Someone with enough balls to just randomly shoot a man without any permission or opinion to argue against it."

But.......STEVE WAS USEFUL!!!! :cry: He was so buff, and in shape!

"Colonel....Pork, is it? Well, Colonel, you really shouldn't be complaining. Sure, the man (if you could call an immature schmuck like that a 'man' ) had a nice physique, but really? Do you think that he would be capable of completing a tactical mission as the one you men are trying to persue? Just think of his loss as a gain for you, because I am willing to join you to take his place on your quest. Trust me, I am quite useful."

Well, I guess I could--

"What do you mean you 'guess?' This is Johnny Depp here speaking with us! Why, I've seen his abilities in the past two decades, and trust me, this is the type of guy we need in our presence. He is perfect. And even if he turns out to be a scrub like Goofyburg was, you've got me, Guy, and Christian that can take him out. You see what I'm saying?"

*sigh* FINE! I guess you've got a point there Ed. Dude is sharper than a needle.

"Damn straight I am. I can be quite the zinger when it comes to these types of situations. See, right now one of VGK's little, worthless, not-so- important spy minions is about 3 feet away from us in that bush over there in an attack stance, thinking that I don't know it's there. But when I point my gun in that direction, and pull the trigger--"

*shoots the little, 2 foot tall imp in the heart as it tries to sneak away after being unnexpectedly discovered*

"--all doubts are eliminated."

*everybody looks towards the dead imp*

"Wow. That was bloody impressive if I do say so myself. I've never seen such pistol-whipping skills as that. Beautiful aiming precision."

"Yup. Just the man we need. So, Colonel, what's the plan now? Now that we have Depp on our side, replacing Goofyburg, where do we go from here."

Well, since Gerald Butler's Spartan army went toward the west to fight, I guess that's the direction we have to take. It shouldn't be too far, probably another 150 miles ahead, since an imp was about to attack us, and I thought I could faintly hear Gerald's ear-shattering screaming, so we must be getting close. Who knows? Maybe we'll find other allies to join with us. Hell, maybe we'll even run into Richard Farnsworth on the way, since he was going to try and find Gerald and confront him for bashing his movie--

*Guy Pearce interrupts again*

"But I thought he died in October of 2000. Yeah, I remember hearing about it in Hollywood at the time. Very devastating news it was. I hear he was quite the stuntman back in his days..."

*I crap my pants in fear* How nice. Now I'm being haunted by friggin ghosts that ask for friggin directions:evil:...........OK, well, with that realization behind me, let's just head off to claim our glory and rescue Jeff Goldblum, aight?

*everyone starts humming the tune of "Do You Have Room For Jeff Goldblum" as they frolic off toward the west*

Until Next Time, LATA!

*Gerald Butler unnexpectedly appears out of nowhere in his Spartan uniform*

"TONIGHT, my men! WE--have a new threat among our proud army. A THREAT, unlike any other! A THREAT, which must be stopped! A THREAT, that will be DESTROYED!!!! It is--"

Come on Gerald. Let me get on with my regular blog like it should be first, eh? Please?

*Gerald Butler takes off his uniform*

"Fine. I shall sit here on these random steps in the background that came out of nowhere and wait for your usual ranting to diminish. But don't take too long. I'm getting cold like this....Don't even know why I took that damned armor off anyways....."

Ummm.....yeah......SO ANYWAYS, the weekend's over once again. Basically I did the same crap as usual, but oh well. I did get a pimpin new spring jacket at Wal Mart today, which was cool. But, it was on clearance for $11:P. Also, being the Rocky fan my dad is, he decided to purchase Rocky Balboa on DVD today, and told me to keep it in my collection. So, that means I've got another movie in my 1337 collection:D. But other than that, nothing major happened this weekend. Oh, sure it was April Fool's Day earlier today, but meh. I don't really care much for this particular day, but I'm just glad I wasn't in school. You know how cruel some kids can be on April Fools. But I'm just glad I don't have to go to school for the next 8 days:).

Other than that, nothing much. Didn't get to watch any movies this weekend, but I've got The Straight Story waiting for me to watch. It's one of those movies that I wanted to see just because it seemed to have that "mellow" vibe like The Station Agent did.....only The Straight Story is rated G:P. And, I just found it out today, it is a Disney movie:shock:. Still, my mom says it was a really good movie (she's seen it in the past), so I'm stoked to watch it. But really, it's the score on imdb.com that got me convinced:P. But yeah, it seems like it could deliver what I wante--

*Gerald Butler rudely interrupts*

"Oh COME ON!!! Stop rambling on about that molasses paced, yawn-inducing movie and LET ME TALK!"

Fine. Carry on, before you freeze to death:roll:.

"About time....."

*puts back on armor*

"As I was saying......WE HAVE A NEW THREAT among us! Our spears and shields will clash against his, and they will clash with honor! A new war has begun! A war against..........Video Game King!! A hostage has been taken, an honorable man known as Jeff Goldblum! He must be taken back! We must shed blood! We must shed our fear! We must shed OUR SOULS!!! Plus, I love his movies, so I want him to be saved. The Fly was a cl@$$ic. But anyways......Video Game King! Ready your army! It's going to be one HELL of a war!"

*runs off with his army*

.....mmkay? You just go do that Gerald Butler:?. I'll try not to get involved in your affairs:P. Although I DO want Jeff Goldblum to be saved.......

So, anyways, I guess Until Next Time, LAT--

*Richard Farnsworth suddenly appears on a lawnmower*

"Pardon me, young man, but did you see a strong looking brute go by here awhile ago? You see, he keeps talking garbage about my well-critiqued movie, and I am traveling around to try to find him so I could try to tell him to stop."

He went.....um, that way.

*points toward the West*

"Thank you kind sir. I shall be on my way now. Oh, by the way, where's the nearest gas station at? My mower is about to run out of gas you see..."

Eh, alright. Take Route 27 to the main road, which is Gramholden Road. You'll need to take a left that way and keep following it until you see a billboard advertising an insurance agency. There is a road behind that, which is Route 16. Take a right on that, and keep going, and you'll wind up at a BP station. Then you should be good to go:).

"Thanks a lot, I really appriciate it young man. Take care of yourself, and God Bless ya now."

*rides off into the sun*

Wow, talk about a slow reaction to Gerald Butler's movie-bashing:P. Usually the other actor appears suddenly, but Jesus, it took this dude until I was about to finish this blog post to respond:lol:. Guess Gerald was right about the "molasses paced" part:P. Well, Until Next Time, APRIL FOOLS...........I mean LATA!!!!

So, yeah. Today is Friday. You know what that means? Well, of course it's the weekend. But, for me, IT IS FRIGGIN SPRING BREAK:D!!!!!!!!! Shibby. Wow, I just realized it, but it has been 1 year since I played Kingdom Hearts 2 and Maple Story for the first time:shock:. And by now I have finished KH2 and I have abandoned Maple Story:|. Wow, how times have changed. But damn those were the good days.......

It really doesn't feel like it's spring break, though. Must be because this week went by so sluggishly, and it has been hard. Stupid teachers. Always cramming as much work as they can before a long break:evil:. Speaking of which, my English teacher JUST HAD to reveal a research paper we're going to have to work on after Spring Break today during cl@$$:|. WTF? Not to mention in Spanish, it was just like a regular day, where my teacher becomes a communist because of all the immature underclassmen in the cl@$$, so she makes all the rest of the students that don't cause trouble to suffer as well. I ****ing hate that. Oh, and I had two quizzes today, and I think I'm back down to a B in my History cl@$$ due to the hard quiz we took today. As for Chemistry, though, I got a solid 92 on that test, which SHOULD take my grade back up to at least an A-. But, I'm out of school for now, so let's just forget about it.

I went to the dentist on Wednesday, after missing an appointment earlier this month:roll:. But it wasn't just a regular visit. Nope. This time, they put a band in my braces to make my teeth come closer together. And guess what? IT HURTS LIKE F*CK!!!!!! I've starved myself for the past couple of days because I have nothing incredibly soft to eat. Oh sure, in the mornings I eat applesauce, but that sh*t is starting to make me sick to my stomach. And seeing constant fast food commercials on television doesn't help matters much, either:|.

And to end this "cliched Colonel Pork blog post" (indicating that I write about the same stuff all the time:P), I have a movie review and a score for you. The review is of a movie that's probably one of the best movies of last year, and the other is a movie we watched in English based on a book we read.

Children of Men

:shock: My God. This was one HELL of a movie. How this didn't manage to get nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars is beyond me. This movie blows The Departed, Babel, The Queen, and Little Miss Sunshine out of the water with a torpedo (I didn't mention Letters From Iwo Jima because I haven't seen it yet, but I DID mention The Queen because it looks boring as hell). As soon as the opening scene was over, and the title of the movie appeared, I was already in awe. Sure, it was shown in its movie trailers, but still, that scene still gave me chills. And where the film went from there? Well, basically, it went to hell......literally. The world in which this movie takes place is so hectic and chaotic, that it might actually make one paranoid for thinking what our actual future will be like. I could tell the plot, but I'll just let you go to imdb or something to find out. The acting is amazing. Clive Owen gives the best performance of his career, hands down (yes, even better than in Sin City). The supporting actor and actress, Michael Caine and Julianne Moore, have surprisingly small roles, but they still act their heart out. Then, there was the cimematography. Awesome. Simply awesome. There are scenes in which the camera just keeps rolling without stopping and is just recorded in a single take, which made the experience shine. There's even one scene in which blood gets splattered on the camera8). Hardcore. Unfortunately, this movie isn't perfect. First of all, and it probably isn't a flaw, but 109 minutes just seemed so short for this kind of movie. I wanted so much more when the movie ended. Speaking of the ending, it left me a little disappointed. I was expecting something more dramatic and shocking, but it's really a little cliched how it ends. Also, being the hardcore movie that it is, it DOES have some minor slow parts in it, but that's probably in every movie I see, so it's not that big of a flaw. All in all, go see this movie immediately. Some critics may compare it to Blade Runner, but IMO, this movie tears a hole in Blade Runner, sticks dynomite in it, stitches up the hole, and lets it blow to pieces. In fact, with movies like 300 being successful, I'm surprised a movie like this was so overlooked and underappriciated last year. A 9.5/10.

*Clive Owen pops up*

"Awww shucks, I didn't know you cared.............I think I might want to kiss you after staring at you with my sexy blue eyes. Or are they a different color? Nevertheless, I'll just keep smiling at you."

:? Mmkay? MOVING ON.....

Of Mice and Men--7.5/10

*John Malkovich appears randomly*

"WTF? First of all, you say I'm a 'weird looking dude.' Second, I acted my ass off played a mentally challanged individual in a movie based off of a novel, and you give Clive Owen's technologically stupendous movie a better score than mine. I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE THE BETTER ACTING PERFORMANCE!!!!!!"

*Clive Owen appears again*

"The hell you talking about John? At least you got a movie dedicated to you that was called "Being John Malkovich." What the hell do I get? You don't see a movie about a portal leading into my f*ckin head, do you?"

"*gasp* Where the hell did your ass come from? I thought you disappeared after Colonel Porky raved about your precious movie."

*talking in his mellow voice* "I'm everywhere man. I appear, and reappear whenever I want to. Like in Sin City. You remember that scene where I'm about to give Benicio Del Toro's character a swirlie in the toilet, and I hide to wait for him? Yeah, I'm just stealthy like that. I was also quite stealthy in a certain scene in Children of Men. You know, I could be a ninja."

"Yeah, well.............I could be stealthy too. Remember when I escaped from the ranch in Of Mice and Men after killing that certain someone? Yep, all I wanted to do was tend the rabbits..........and have ketchup in my beans........"

"Goddammit, shut the hell up! You're just like a fly that's constantly buzzing in my f*cking ear--"

*Jeff Goldblum interrupts*

"Did someone mention anything about flies? Or dinosaurs?"

"Christ, what the hell is he doing here? Malkovich, did you invite him?

"Hell no. The fella fell off after his lame ass role in Igby Goes Down. I would never associate with an outcast like him. Man, let's just continue this argument somewhere else."

"Fine by me. Let's get the hell out of here. For all we know, he could beat up more little kids, like he did in that crapptastic movie you mentioned. Let's go."

*Clive and John leave*

"Dammit. Doesn't ANYONE have room for Jeff Goldblum? WTH, I just refered to myself in third person!"

Heh, and VGK, if you're reading this, you probably know where my inspiration came from:P.

Until Next Time, LATA!