I found these yesterday and thought they were pretty funny:lol:

1. Use a forklift to bring your paper to class, even if it's only a few pages. Explain that it involved some very heavy reading.
2. Poke several holes in the paper. Say that you were mobbed by crows on the way to class.
3. Print all the pages on one sheet of paper, with the text overlapping. Say that that was all the paper you had.
4. Write about whether Plato would have said that Miller Light is "less filling" or that it "tastes great." Also explain why Aristotle would have taken the opposite view. Try to predict both philosphers' reactions to Spuds McKensie.
5. Draw pictures of your professor in the margins.
6. Make your paper one long, neverending sentence that goes on for pages and pages and pages; use alot of semicolons, commas, and other interesting, rarely-used punctuation marks [(for example), an interesting one: the colon_], but never ever end the sentence {[_-\|/??!]}.
7. Staple a picture of an academic building to the paper. Cite the picture as a resource.
8. On the day the paper is due, skip into class, waving the paper and screaming, "I have a paper! I have a paper!". Run around the class a few times, then joyfully throw it out the window. Laugh and yell, "There's my paper!", then run outside to get it. Repeat this all through the period, or until the prof throws you out.
9. Come to class leading a horse or camel. When asked to turn in the paper, take it out of one of the saddlebags, then shoot the horse/camel/whatever away. Refuse to discuss it.
10. Draw obscure connections between totally unrelated things. For example, claim that abnormal amounts of neutrino activity in Germany caused Hitler to invade France, or that the Roman empire collapsed because of a shortage of qualified botanists.
11. Refer to all prominant historical figures by nicknames. For example, call George Washington "Georgie". Call Ben Franklin "Sparky."
12. Pwetend you have a speech impediment and awways type w's whenevew you weawwy want to type r's ow l's.
13. Ol, switch alound arr the l's and r's in youl papel, rike Monty Python did in Queen Erizabeth the Thild.
14. When your prof asks for an outline of your paper, draw the outline of the piece of paper you typed it on and hand it in.
15. Spill a martini on your sociology paper. Say that you wrote it in a bar so that you could see "sociology in action."

THERE WAS A BOMB THREAT AT MY SCHOOL!!!!!:shock: My entire high school was in the gym having a pep session yesterday. When the bell rang, we all got up to leave, but the principal and other teachers started yelling at us to sit down. They didn't tell us what was going on, they just said they were checking something out and it would only take a few minutes. It really scared us when a couple of cops in bullet-proof vests came in and guarded the doors.

Just for the record, forcing 1,200 kids to sit quietly in a gym for over an hour wasn't the best idea:roll: They were screaming, complaining, beating each other up, and some were even crying. I heard a few rumors too: one was somebody got shot, another was bomb threat, and the other was a guy with a gun was waiting outsidewho would shoot anyone who came out:shock:

We were all released at about 4:10. I thought we were going to end up eating dinner there because it was so late:roll:

Anyway, here's the story: a teacher found a car out in the parking lot that had a note on it that said something along the lines of a car having a bomb in it. On top of all that, the tires on the car were slashed and there was some other damage, but they weren't specific. They still haven't found the student responsible.

1. Turn in a letter you wrote to your cousin. When the teacher confronts you about it, say that you must have gotten the letter and the paper mixed up. Say that you'll turn the paper in as soon as you get it back, but your cousin lives in Siberia, so it might take a while. (This is a nifty way to get an extension.)
2. When writing an especially long paper, put a recipe for chocolate cake in the middle and see if the professor notices.
3. Tell the professor that you need an extension because one of your primary sources is an old wise man in Tibet and he won't see you until the next full moon.
4. Paint a large white stripe down the front of your paper. Say that on the way to class, your dropped it in the street and it got run over by one of those trucks that paint lines on the road.
5. Make a footprint on the back of one of the pages. When questioned by the professor, act like it's nothing unusual. After all, he did tell you to include footnotes.
6. Bring candles and incense to class. Before handing in the paper, perform an elaborate ceremony, entreating the gods to bless the paper and correct all your typos.
7. Make a tape of you singing the contents of your paper, opera-style, and hand that in.
8. Write your psychology paper on possible genetic anomalies that might cause a person to prefer anchovies.
9. Hand your paper in in a sealed envelope with postmarks from several different countries on it. Say that you wanted several different perspectives on your work.
10. TTyyppee eevveerryy lleetttteerr ttwwiiccee ...
11. Get a large piece of paper or canvas. Smear paint all over it and hand it in as your paper. Explain that the topic was such an emotional one for you, and that mere words couldn't possibly express what you had to say.
12. Compare and contrast the characters of James T. Kirk and Jean-Luc Picard. Claim that one is actually Hamlet, and the other is King Lear. Say that Worf is Ophelia.
13. Carve your paper on the bathroom wall.
14. Refuse to do the paper on account of the fact that you are a member of Greenpeace and strongly object to the gratuitous slaughter of trees caused by the massive amount of paper used in writing assignments.
15. Put nonsense words down as quotes. Say that you are quoting the words of a well-known Zen master who was speaking in tongues at the time.

I tried to put up a blog yesterday, but it wouldn't let me:cry::evil: Sorry about that:(

1. Type every word in a different font. Alternate really big fonts with really small fonts.
2. Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual.
3. Write the entire paper on Post-it notes and turn it in by sticking them all over the professor's door.
4. Switch the names of prominent history figures with the names of your friends, classmates, etc. Claim that your roommate led the Spanish Armada.
5. Write a paper discussing why Michelangelo got to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but Van Gogh didn't. Discuss whether Van Gogh would have used nunchakus or katanas.
6. Write your paper by cutting out words from magazines and sticking them on the page, ransom-note style.
7. End the paper with "This paper will self-destruct in 10 seconds."
8. Perfume the paper with catnip. Explain that it was to keep your dog from eating it.
9. If assigned a paper in philosophy class, explain that you can't do the paper because you're not sure if the class really exists, or if it and the professor are just illusions created by your subconscious. If you do end up writing the paper, write about whether or not the paper actually exists.
10. If assigned a 2000-word paper, draw two pictures of what the paper was supposed to be about. After all, a picture is worth 1000 words, right?
11. Type gibberish. When you hand it in, claim that your computer crashed while you were printing it, and you couldn't retrieve the original.
12. Cite issues of Spiderman and Batman as resources in your bibliography.
13. Turn the paper in by making paper airplanes out of the pages of the paper and attempting to fly them onto the professor's desk.
14. The night before the paper is due, call the professor and explain that you can't turn your paper in, because it contains sensitive military information and is only available on a "need to know" basis. Insist that General Schwarzkopf says you should get an 'A'.
15. Write your history paper on parchment, using a quill. Say that you were trying to get the feel for the period.

I just saw that movie yesterday!:D It was amazing!:D Believe it or not, I actually liked it better than the Harry Potter movies:shock: Has anyone else seen this movie yet?

I wanted to include a picture, but for some reason it won't let me:evil: Something about an attribute title:roll:

33. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

34. Bring cheat sheets for another ****(make sure this is obvious. . . like history notes for a calculus exam. . . otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit. "

35. When you walk in, complain about the heat.

36. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

37. One word: Wrestlemania.

38. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

39. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

40. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room every time the instructor turns around.

41. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

42. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

43. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

44. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

45. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher"

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc. . ).

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.

25. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very insulting tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

26. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

27. Go to an exam for a cla#s you have no clue about, where you know the cla#s is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

28. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this nonsense? Days of our Lives is on!!!"

29. Bring a water pistol with you. Use it to shoot the instructor and the other students' exams.

30. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to Mission Impossible.

31. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

32. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas."If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, and continue with the exam.

I hope nobody put this list up already:lol:

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc. . . ). Play with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

10. Bring pets.