I was in a car accident when I went to school this morning!!!:shock: My sister was driving us to school, but she was blinded by the sun, and she hit a stationary bus!:shock: No one was hurt, but the passenger side of our car (where I was sitting) has a great big gouge in it and the mirror was knocked off:( My sister didn't get a ticket or anything, but she was pretty shaken.
As for my spell bowl meet, it was fun:D I met several new friends:D There were only 7 of us from my school, so we didn't qualify for any special ribbons or trophies or anything:cry: We did get to compete though, and it was alot of fun:D
Sorry, but I'm not going to be able to come on at all tomorrow:cry: I have a spell bowl invitational tomorrow afternoon from 3:45 to 9:30 and by the time I get home, I will have to go to bed:cry:
Ever wanted to call someone stupid without actually calling them stupid? Try these:lol: I know I did a blog with stuff like this awhile back, but I found more:D
The cursor's blinking but the keyboard ain't connected.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few peas short of a casserole.
One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
The cheese slid off his cracker.
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
On the Fourth of July my aunt was smoking. when she was finished she walked over to a paper bag and dropped a half finished cigarette still lit into the bag not knowing it was full of fire works. When everything was finished exploding she said what happened?
Being a car nut, people often come to me to ask my opinion on an upcoming purchase. One day, someone asked me about radar detectors. In about an hour, I explained all the intricacies of how they worked etc. He finally decided to go after the best and spend about $400 on it. About a month later I met up with him and he was pretty mad. It seemed that he had received 3 speeding tickets since he got the detector. Here is the conversation:
ME: Did the thing beep? HIM: Yea it beeped a lot. ME: Was it adequate warning? About how long did the thing beep for 'till you saw the patrol car? HIM: About 30 seconds. ME: 30 SECONDS? How quickly did you slow down? HIM: Slow down? ME: Yea, didn't you try to slow down? HIM: Why? Doesn't that thing make the cops not see me?
You may have heard that many states are putting up these radar detectors on bridges or stoplights at intersections to catch speeders. There is also a camera attached to this unit that takes a picture of the car, license plate number, and the driver. From, here, the Department of Motor Vehicles takes over and sends the photos to the owner of the car along with a ticket. One driver received the pictures and a ticket for $40. He was rather upset by this and decided to get even by sending in a picture of $40. The Department of Motor Vehicles stepped in again and sent the man another picture....This time of hand-cuffs. The driver quickly sent a check for $40.
A very well-known TV star in Argentina invited a group of archeologists to her TV show, as they had recently found some dinosaur fossils in the south of the country. When told this, she asks (really amazed): oh, I can't believe it!!! Were the dinosaurs alive???
I was in an online chat room and mentioned to one American chatter that I was Canadian and he asked me if we had computers in Canada - I said no and told him I was communicating with him via psychic transmissions. He replied "psychic transmissions are cool!"
In a recent soccer game in England the match was abandoned half way through due to fog! However the news never reached the home teams goalkeeper who stood on the pitch on his own for 30 minutes before somebody came out of the dressing room and told him.
I live in Gettysburg, Pa., and considering the history of the place you can imagine the number of tourists that come through the area. Like all tourists anywhere, confusion is as commonplace as cameras and cheap souvenirs. Here are two of the stupidest questions I or my friends have been asked: "How do I get to the battlefields?" (hint: the battle occurred in and around all of Gettysburg - you're standing on it, moron) and my favorite: "Were all these markers and monuments here when the battle took place? I guess it made things easier for the troops - they knew where to go by checking the markers." Yeah, and all the tombstones where here before too, so that the troops would know whether they were supposed to get shot or not. We laughed about that one for weeks.
My cousin asked me once..."How do you laugh in Spanish?" she was serious!!
I once went on one (only!) date with a girl who was a little dim. I was constantly trying to help her with her basic chemistry homework. She couldn't grasp anything. Anyway, being a little unsure of what to talk about, I made the casual comment about how humid it was since the water glasses had a lot of condensation on them. She then proceeded to tell me how wrong I was. She insisted that the water in the glass leaked through microscopic holes in the glass. Thus the reason for the moisture on the outside! We actually argued about it and I never convinced her.
A 16 year old girl, while eating buffalo wings, stated, "This tastes like chicken." Months later when someone else was joking about it at her, in defense she said, "Well, it does." It was then her friends finally got the point across to her that it was chicken.
There was once a guy who was having computer problems. He was constantly loosing vital information stored on his hard drive. The tech support lines were not being very helpful either. One day, a friend of his came into his office and discovered the problem with very little trouble. Our stupid friend kept his magnet collection on the wall about 6 inches from his hard drive.
After interrupting me to ask a fairly good question about punctuation in a bibliography, my roommate's girlfriend goes on a tirade about the author's name. "Nget?? What kind of name is that? Like a chicken nugget?" and then the kicker: "WHY CAN'T PEOPLE ALL JUST HAVE AMERICAN NAMES?"
True story of an honest customer at a video store-- "This movie is in black and white, will it play on my color television?"
I was at a restaurant for the first time. I had to go the bathroom. So I went. When I was done in this strange, unfamiliar bathroom I went to exit and found that the door was locked. I panicked. I stood there pounding and yelling for someone to come and get me out. After about ten minutes of the yelling and pounding, a kid walked in behind me. I looked around and realized that I had been pounding on the broom- closet door for ten minutes. I just looked at the kid like I knew what I was doing and just walked out.
My kid brother bought a Lego set, took it home, opened it, and exclaimed, "It's broken!"
This is so sad:cry:Four of my favorite shows have ended now: Ned's De****fied School Survival Guide, Danny Phantom, American Dragon: Jake Long, and Kim Possible. :cry::cry::cry: Why!!??:cry::cry::cry:
A minister and his wife sued a guide-dog school when a blind man stepped on the wife's toes in a shopping mall.
A New York woman sued the company that makes The Clapper, claiming she "had to clap too hard in order to turn her appliances on."
One day a man decided to rob a bank. So he went in and started to rob it at gunpoint. (Side note this man was deaf) As he was holding the bank up the cashier repeatedly asked the man if he would like the money in the sack. His response was always " You're right this is a gun and I'll use it." After using this line for a while the cashier finally caught on that he was deaf so she tested it out by making a few mocking remarks at the man. After a short period of time the police showed up, and arrested the man. He is now suing the bank for discrimination.
A woman is suing the pharmacy that sold her a popular contraceptive jelly - because she ate the stuff on toast and got pregnant anyway. (NOTE: The jelly she used was supposed to be applied vaginally by a condom)
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