Yes, these are true:lol:

In California, a woman sued a grocery store because a 6-pack of beer drooped on her foot. Nothing was broken, but "it hurt". She won the case.

A construction worker used a circular saw to intentionally cut off one of his hands while on the work site. He claimed that the hand was possessed. Co-workers rushed the man to the hospital and brought the severed hand. At the hospital, the man demanded that the doctors NOT reattach the hand because it was possessed. Now he is suing the doctors and hospital for damages because he claims they should have known that he was psychotic and reattached the hand anyway.

A guy sued Anheuser-Busch for emotional distress after drinking the company's beer without later having "success with women."

A robber sued the bank, the manufacturer, the city, the police, and the hospital after a "Security Pac" hidden in the stolen loot released tear gas and red dye.

A San Diego man sued the city for emotional trauma during a concert when he saw women using the men's rest room.

I know I've had a blog like this before, but I found some more:lol: Hopefully I didn't use the same ones:oops:

1. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
2. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
3. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
4. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
5. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
6. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
7. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
8. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
9. Woman gives birth to husband.
10. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
11. Eye Drops off Shelf
12. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
13. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
14. Steals Clock, Faces Time

A man called the police to report that the convienience store which he owned and operated had been robbed. When the police arrived, the owner gave an extremely detailed description of the thief. The police immediately arrested the store owner, who had described himself exactly. The store owner admitted to the theft.

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.

If you want some more good laughs, check out LyokoDanny's profile:D

Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

New York: As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes Officer..that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

Edit: Happy Labor Day!:D

Yesterday, my grandparents hada great big bonfire at their house and they let my sister bring her new boyfriend so he could meet the family:twisted:

His name is Kyle and he's almost 20 years old ( my sister is almost 18 ). Judging by the way Lindsay (my sister) always talked about him, I thought he was going to be quiet, shy, and mature, but no:roll: He was loud and obnoxious!:roll: He's like the little brother I never had:lol:

Everytime we have a bonfire, my uncle Darren and I always have a marshmallow war:lol: We would sit around the campfire and pelt each other with the marshmallows:lol: I jokingly told Kyle how I should make him my new target and pelt him instead. That was a big mistake:roll: As soon as I got out of the car, Kyle started throwing marshmallows at me:evil: I spent half the night running around the yard trying to avoid him:lol:

I'll admit it was fun, and he is nice,but he is so immature:roll: I hope my sister doesn't marry him:lol: Speaking of my sister, she doesn't like me now:roll: She wanted to spend the evening with Kyle, but she couldn't because he was too busy chasing me around the yard with the bag of marshmallows:lol: She says I stole her boyfriend:lol::roll:

Louisiana: A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.

Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.

The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that a man suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said he couldn't have done it "because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time." Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Oklahoma City - Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court this week when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your f***ing head off!" The defendant paused, then quickly added, "-- if I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Hewton and recommend a 30-year sentence.

David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.

Tennessee: A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole the bank's video camera, while the camera was remotely recording. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera).

Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

I'm running behind on American Dragon Jake Long episodes so I spent the past few days trying to find them on the internet, but there's still three I can't find:cry:

1. Year of the Jake
2. Young at Heart
3. A Ghost Story

Does anyone know where I can watch them? I have to be able to watch them on the internet. I can't download them to my computer because my parents would kill me:( Please help!:(

16. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room." 

17. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell." 

18. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's 

the other one." 

19. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on." 

20. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection." 

21. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it." 

22. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train 

isn't coming." 

23. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is 

out looking for it." 

24. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice 

a week." 

25. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." 

26. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean." 

27. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm." 

28. "One neuron short of a synapse." 

29. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled." 

30. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes." 

31. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.