When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

I've got a soldier's stomach. Everything I eat goes straight to the front.

Warning: Dates in calender are closer than they appear.

A word to the wise isn't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need advice.

There are very few problems that cannot be solved by orders ending with 'or die'.

How does it change many dyslexics to take a light bulb?

The early worm gets eaten by the bird so sleep late.

He who goes through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

Mark my words, boomerangs are making a comeback.

If a man is in a forest talking to himself with no women around, is he still wrong?