1. The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you...

A. Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his kid.
B. Inform him that you're planting a virus in the program so that everyone who plays it on company time will get reported to Human Resources.
C. Tell him that whatever he wants will have to wait until you've finished the level.

2. When your boss throws a party and invites everyone in the office except you, what do you do?

A. Stay home and watch 'I Love Lucy' reruns.
B. Show up at the party anyway, with a really expensive bottle of wine and a briefcase full of small, unmarked bills.
C. Go over to your bosses house after everyone has left and throw rocks at the windows, shouting obscenities.

3. Your boss criticizes your work unjustly; what do you do?

A. Listen politely, and then apologize.
B. Blame someone else.
C. Climb on top of your desk, and hold up a piece of paper on which you've written the word "union."

4. When the CEO parks his car in your spot, you...

A. Wash and wax it, then leave your business card under the windshield wiper.
B. Key it ... then tell the CEO's secretary you saw your boss near it, loitering suspiciously.
C. Key it ... then proudly tell the CEO's secretary that you did it.

5. Your boss asks you to play Kooky the Clown for his kid's fifth birthday party, what do you do?

A. Offer to pay for the costume rental and cake, too.
B. Agree to do it, then blackmail a co-worker into doing it while pretending to be you.
C. Agree to do it, then show up as yourself and tell the children that Kooky is dead.

Mostly A's: You have nothing to worry about. They'll never fire you because you're a doormat.
Mostly B's: You're not just going to keep your job, with your complete disregard for other peoples feelings, you'll positively shoot up the ladder of success. Congratulations! You're a real jerk.
Mostly C's: You are a career kamikaze. The boss would have fired you long ago, but he's terrified of what you might do.

14. Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
15. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
16. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
17. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
18. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
19. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
20. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
21. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
22. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
23. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
24. Following the rules will not get the job done.
25. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
2 . I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
5. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
6. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
7. My reality cheque has bounced.
8. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
9. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
10. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
11. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
12. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
13. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

1. STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
2. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
3. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use
4. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton's Grand Jury testimony is another.
5. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
6. ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
7. 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
8. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

I got my 19th editorship this morning! :D It's for Jerry Goldsmith. He writes theme songs and scores for movies and tv shows such as: The Mummy, Mulan, Star Trek, and The Omen.

I've also made it to a new level :D I'm finally on level 32: Whammy! :D I used to love that show :D The little cartoons about the little red creature were so funny! :lol:

So, does anyone have any plans for today? :D I still don't know what I'm going to do :(

1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
3. AS*MOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4. SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
6. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
7. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
   

The English phrase is on the left and the Chinese phrase is on the right :D

1. Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu Yu Hai Ding?

2. See me ASAP. Kum Hia Nao

3. Stupid Man. Dum Gai

4. Small Horse. Tai Ni Po Ni

5. Your price is too high! No Bai Dam Ting!

6. Did you go to the beach? Wai Yu So Tan?

7. I bumped into a coffee table. Ai Bang Mai Ni

8. I think you need a facelift. Chin Tu Fat

9. It's very dark in here. Wai So Dim?

10. I thought you were on a diet? Wai Yu Mun Ching?

11. This is a tow away zone. No Pah King

12. You know the lyrics to the Macarena? Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

13. You are not very bright. Yu So Dum

14. I got this for free. Ai No Pei

15. Please, stay a while longer. Wai Go Nao?

16. They have arrived. Hia Dei Kum

17. Stay out of sight Lei Lo

18. Pew! Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung!?

I got my 18th editorship this morning!!! :D It's for Hayley Westenra :D She's a clas*ical, folk, and Celtic singer. She used to tour with Celtic Woman.

•1. "It is generally believed that" = A couple of others think so, too.

•2. "Correct within an order of magnitude" = Wrong.

•3. "According to statistical analysis" = Rumor has it.

•4. "A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings" = A wild guess.

•5. "A careful analysis of obtainable data" = Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.

•6. "It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs"= I don't understand it.

•7. "After additional study by my colleagues"= They don't understand it either.

•8. "Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions" = Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.

•9. "A highly significant area for exploratory study" = A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

•10. "It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field" = I quit.